Fashion

‘Get those hands away from my indentures!’

Having a kid presents challenges. You have to pick out a sensible and legally appropriate name for the child. You have to care for the kid — or pay someone else to do so. You have to keep your child safe, which isn’t always easy.

And these are just the basics. What if you want to enrich your kid’s existence with sports and after-school classes and musical instruments?

As it turns out, there’s an app for that — created by a lawyer, of course….

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Would you wear these to court?

The plot of The Shawshank Redemption revolves around the line, “I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a man’s shoes?” Should I have prefaced that with a spoiler alert? No, you’ve had 19 years to watch it.

But poor Andy Dufresne might still be incarcerated if he were in Romania, where a judge slapped a lawyer with a fine in excess of $1,000 for wearing sneakers to court.

And the whole thing went down during the criminal trial over a high-end art heist.

Romania seems way more interesting than the U.S. these days….

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* Even at the top of the in-house food chain, women lawyers are still paid less than their male counterparts. But hey, at least they’re not being forced to cry poverty like their in-house staff attorney brethren. [Corporate Counsel]

* Neil Barofsky, the former King of TARP in the United States, is making the move to Jenner & Block, specifically because as opposed to all other firms, “Jenner took the side of really getting to the truth of the matter.” [Reuters]

* Luxury fashion is fun: four Biglaw firms, including Cleary Gottlieb, Cravath, Torys, and Proskauer Rose, all took Tim Gunn’s mantra to heart to make it work for the $6 billion sale of Neiman Marcus. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]

* If you want to try some lawyer, we hear that they taste great when poached this time of year. Speaking of which, Troutman Sanders just reeled in three attorneys from Hunton & Williams. [Richmond BizSense]

* Law schools in the Dakotas are renovating their buildings in the hope of enrolling more students. Luckily, South Dakota has that sweet indentured servitude plan. [Prairie Business; National Law Journal (sub. req.)]

* If you’re thinking of applying to law school, here’s a plan of attack for the month of September. That’s right, friends, you can start gunning right now! [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Are you ready for some tax law?! The NFL and other professional sports leagues might lose their nonprofit status if new tax reform legislation makes it through the House and the Senate. [Businessweek]

Tell me again how the third year of law school is anything other than a gigantic waste of time? The 3Ls got back to campus just a few days ago, but already their thoughts have turned to getting out and moving on with their lives. And they’re right to do so; 3L year is a giant holding pattern between now and taking the bar exam.

At one top school, 3Ls are already using their listserv to talk — well, bitch — about graduation. They’re annoyed by their school’s ticket policy for commencement. I’d say they were counting their chickens before they hatched, but I don’t even know what kind of awesome, ATL-worthy story could get a 3L kicked out before graduation.

One kid is even trying to plan his wardrobe for the big day. He’s not a “clothes horse,” though. Apparently, he’s just a guy who can’t figure out how to get to a Men’s Wearhouse between now and May…

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* Sagging is one of the best anti-crime tools going. Since it stymies people who actually commit crimes, it seems to work better than stop-and-frisk… [Lowering the Bar]

* From an appellate brief in New York: The “’Question Presented’ stated only “’WHAT’S A BOY TO DO?’” What, indeed. [MyCase]

* Geraldo Rivera is out of an upcoming symposium on the Kennedy assassination reviewing the accuracy of the Warren Report. The reason? This half-naked selfie. I know he’s against wearing concealing hoodies, but dude, there’s a middle ground. [Inside Higher Ed via TaxProf Blog]

* Are energy drinks the next tobacco? ::sips from old-school Four Loko:: [Law and More]

* W(h)ither equity partnerships in Biglaw? [Adam Smith, Esq.]

* Professor Josh Blackman discussing his new book Unprecedented: The Constitutional Challenge to Obamacare (affiliate link). [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* A Blurred Lines parody video made by law students less than thrilled with the date-rapey message of the original. It’s got some language that you don’t want to blast in the office (though, again, it’s fundamentally less offensive than what Thicke actually sings). Embed after the jump…

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* We bet you never thought you’d be spending Labor Day weekend debating with your relatives the legality of a U.S. military strike on Syria and the intricacies of international law. Gee, thanks President Obama. [CNN]

* Over the long holiday weekend, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg served as officiant at the gay wedding of John Roberts. No, not that John Roberts, but what an incredibly apropos coincidence that was. [Washington Post]

* Speaking of same-sex marriage, even though “[n]o one told [him] it was an easy job when [he] signed on,” Justice Anthony Kennedy revealed himself to be an ally of the gay rights movement. [New York Times]

* Two days after filing an appeal with the Third Circuit, the parents of a deceased Cozen O’Connor partner have ended their battle to deny their daughter’s profit-sharing benefits to her wife. [Law360 (sub. req.)]

* Twitter’s general counsel deactivated his account position with the social media giant, and looks forward to “goofing off.” Congrats to Vijaya Gadde, who will head up the company’s IPO. [Bits / New York Times]

* Biglaw’s latest scapegoat for the culling of the associate herd is the decline of Chapter 11 filings, otherwise known by industry insiders as the “bankruptcy recession.” [New York Law Journal (sub. req.)]

* Without any rabbits left to pull out of hats, it’s been predicted that by 2018, the Magic Circle will be no more. This is one disappearing act lawyers obsessed with prestige hope will never happen. [The Lawyer]

* If you want to learn more about fashion law, check out this interview with Barbara Kolsun, a woman who literally wrote the book on it (affiliate link) while serving as general counsel at Stuart Weitzman. [Corporate Counsel]

* So what has Kenneth Randall been up to since he left the deanship at Alabama School of Law? He’s working to “train law students for jobs that don’t require a bar license” over at InfiLaw. Awesome. [Tuscaloosa News]

* Legal commentators like Elie and Lat would be ecstatic if law school were two years long, but because so many others have a “vested interest in the status quo,” change will come at approximately half past never. [CNBC]

* Ronald H. Coase, influential legend of law and economics and Nobel prize winner, RIP. [Chicago Law]

Ed. note: It’s Biglaw interview season, and your friends here at Above the Law would like to give you the best fashion advice possible to ensure your success in the “new normal.” Today, we’ll be focusing on our female readers. This post is written by Mandana Dayani (USC Gould School of Law ’07), a former Paul Hastings associate who currently serves as Vice President and General Counsel of Rachel Zoe, Inc.

I will never forget the panic and angst surrounding on-campus interviews — the constant reformatting of résumés, the sudden competitiveness of your friends, the pressure of finding the right job, and for most of us, the daunting task of figuring out the perfect outfit that gives the best first impression. When it comes to interview attire, my advice is to present yourself with a look that does not detract from the focus of the meeting — you want to impress your potential boss with your sophistication and capability. Keep it classic, nothing too trendy or polarizing, and let your style come through with a couple of carefully selected accessories…

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I see you all enjoyed your vacations. I saw the 175 pictures you posted on Facebook of every single place you went, and now I see you “can’t believe your baby is starting 7th grade.” So now that it’s time to get back to work and figure out what to do about all those clients calling you as a result of seeing you on the first page of Google, I will again offer you life-changing advice for which you come here weekly.

This advice is all real, and in no particular order.

1. If you have an office, or even a desk, take every single thing off the top. I did this the other day. Clean it, and then place everything back, except the stack of papers that belong in a file or the garbage, the magazines and articles you’re never going to read, and the items that do nothing but take up otherwise workable space. This will cost you no money, take about 15-20 minutes, and you will thank me. Well, not all of you…

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Remember those annoying gunners in high school? Running around joining every club and running for student government so they can pad their résumés with yet another achievement to become just slightly more attractive?

Well, this Tracy Flick stand-in puts all those gunners to shame. She may even have the best plan for gaming the American law school system yet: getting admitted in the U.K. first.

Enter Gabrielle Turnquest. She’s 18 and the youngest lawyer in the history of the U.K.

Show off…

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I’m not usually the one to give sartorial advice around here. My blogging attire can be exclusively purchased from MLB Shop if I so desire. I need a suit or two for television and then, whatever, it doesn’t matter and I don’t care.

But back when I was in Biglaw and I had to be presentable, I appreciated some basic advice from the people who cared about how I looked way more than I did. Don’t confuse the issue with your WASP-y tales of Seersucker Saturdays. Just tell me the bare minimum I have to do to fit into your shallow little club, and I’ll do it. I really can’t stand people who are all like, “Well Jasper, did you see that chap wearing white after Labor Day? How gauche.” But if that’s going to be a rule that affects my professional advancement, just tell me and I’ll follow it. Biglaw pays enough for people to invest in their wardrobe in whatever arcane ways are required.

So, in a way, one can appreciate this list put together by an office managing partner of a national law firm about the business casual dress code for men. Sure, it comes from an annoying place of conformity that values style over substance. Sure, it’s a document dripping with low-grade sexism that contemplates a time when men were men and somebody else did their laundry.

But we’re talking about guys who work at law firms, we’re not talking about rebels; nobody should be trying to be a hero. Everybody should just wear what they’re told…

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