Fast Food

* Chris Gossage, the London solicitor who spilled the beans on J.K. Rowling’s pseudonym for The Cuckoo’s Calling (affiliate link), was fined for breaking a client confidence — making him the first person in 2014 to meet his resolution and lose a significant number of pounds. [Perez Hilton]

* How awful are student loan companies? This woman tried to discharge a student loan and was told she spent too much income dining out — referencing a $12 McDonald’s Value Meal for her and her husband. You stay klassy, loan sharks! [New York Times]

* Border agents really have something against musical instruments. It all dates back to that one time at band camp when a flute stood them up. [Overlawyered]

* A super-affordable tuxedo blazer! [Corporette]

* ATMs aren’t all that secure. At least not in Brooklyn. Maybe it was opening ironically…. [Legal Juice]

* Donald Looper, the founder of 120-lawyer Looper Reed & McGraw, has stepped away from the firm. Probably to head back in time to prevent the firm from ever existing, because that’s what good Loopers do. [ABA Journal]

* A human rights lawyer was kidnapped in Syria and the rebel groups seem to not care even a little bit. [Al-Monitor]

Welcome to Above the Law’s newest feature, Fun With Fine Print. This occasional column will chronicle especially clever or awful examples of legalese, fine print, disclaimers, disclosures, and the like. Our readers who spend so much time toiling over contractual language, drafting it beforehand or litigating it after the fact, will hopefully appreciate — and contribute to — this feature.

We’ll start things off with an example of infamous fine print. Earlier this year, Subway got torpedoed over its regrettable response to a customer complaint. After Australian teenager Matt Corby complained that his “footlong” Subway sub was a mere eleven inches, Subway invoked the following fine print: “With regards to the size of the bread and calling it a footlong, ‘SUBWAY FOOTLONG’ is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length.” Personally speaking, I think eleven inches is more than enough — but based on the uproar and litigation, maybe I’m in the minority.

Now let’s look at legalese worth celebrating, for its cleverness and its clarity. It also comes from a fast-food provider….

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Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo (click to enlarge):

On Friday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our caption contest…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Winner: A Law Firm With That ‘Special Sauce’”


Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo (click to enlarge):

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and vote on the finalists…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Finalists: A Law Firm With That ‘Special Sauce’”

A few years ago, we wrote a story about a law firm with a drive-thru window, lamenting the inevitable future of the legal profession. Instead of passing burgers to customers through the window, lawyers exchanged documents and quick legal advice with their clients. The only thing missing was the familiar Golden Arches — although we suspect a law firm would prefer green dollar signs instead.

Another law firm took it one step further, and appointed Ronald McDonald himself to hail passersby in the hopes of using his fast food charm to lure would-be clients into the office. Would you like fries with that?

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Have you ever walked into a chain restaurant, launched a foul-mouthed and self-entitled tirade, and then placed the whole thing “under video surveillance” to post on Facebook? If you answered yes, then HI THERE, TAYLOR CHAPMAN! If not, you’re the rest of our audience.

This is the part of the day that the “Time to Make the Donuts” commercials didn’t show. The part where an insane woman hurls racial epithets because Fred the Baker didn’t give her a receipt.

Is this woman a lawyer? Of course she’s a lawyer…

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Forget horse heads — this is what you wake up to if you try to unionize at Burger King.

* Burger King sells burgers by celebrating that they are built with fictional union labor while actively interfering with workers forming real unions. This would be too much hypocrisy for some, but Burger King gets to have it its way. [Buzzfeed]

* I cannot top the subject line from the tipster: “Obama calls the nation to arms on trade secret theft, but the nation is at the mall.” [Orrick]

* A review of Logan Beirne’s new book Blood of Tyrants: George Washington & the Forging of the Presidency (affiliate link). I wonder what George Washington would say if the Senate blocked his judicial nominees? [Washington Times]

* Step One: Collect cash from government for doing business in downtown Manhattan. Step Two: “Close” the firm and move all the partners and cases to Blank Rome. Step Three: Refuse to pay back the money. [Thompson Reuters News & Insight]

* Why does everyone want to go to law school? I figured it was just to compete in the ATL Law Revue competition. [The League of Ordinary Gentlemen]

* Be nicer to the sea cows! [Lowering the Bar]

* This Craigslist job posting under “Legal/Paralegal Jobs” in San Diego: Accidental listing or sadly prophetic commentary on the legal job market? Just in case someone removes the listing, I’ll post a screenshot after the jump…

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* They are livestreaming the misconduct case against Judge Wade McCree. [Detroit Free Press]

* GW Law professor John Banzhaf is calling upon the D.C. City Council to bar local broadcasters from using the term “Redskins.” Two decades after the real emergence of “political correctness,” the “Redskins” name has held out against that all-out assault almost as long as the actual Native American society did against Phil Sheridan. [Huffington Post]

* People are still talking about the Yahoo!/Tumblr deal, but the most important deal for the legal profession has slid under the radar. Seamless and GrubHub are merging to make all your “3 a.m. and still haven’t had dinner at the office” dreams come true. [Wall Street Journal]

* Vivia Chen of The Careerist got some flack for suggesting that women taking their husbands’ names was a regressive trend. In (tongue-in-cheek) fairness, here are the good reasons to take your husband’s name. Example: “When you’ve been indicted or convicted.” [The Careerist]

* U. Chicago Law scheduled finals during Memorial Day weekend… while Chicago is closing Lake Shore Drive and cutting back on public transit. UChiLawGo responds. [UChiLawGo]

* A gospel singer is suing McDonald’s because she lost her voice. Normally I’d make fun of this, but she sounds like she has a good argument. [The Inquisitr]

* A review of the legal issues surrounding the DOJ/AP scandal. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Elie explains why the racist, nasty comments we receive don’t faze us at all. [Paidcontent.org]

* Well this is a novel use of fundraising: Speculation that Tim Lambesis (who we covered yesterday) used crowdfunding for a new Austrian Death Machine Schwarzenegger tribute album as the down payment on a hitman to murder his wife. Maybe this new album was going to have a Total Recall theme? [Metal Sucks]

* Stephen Colbert sits down with Caplin & Drysdale’s Trevor Potter to discuss the fact that Colbert’s SuperPAC has never been approved by the IRS. Video after the jump…

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Oh, I pity the prospective law student who thinks that getting into law school means that he’ll never have to work at Burger King again.

There’s a departure memo going around the internet today — a kid sent a mean (and mildly racist) memo to his colleagues as he ended his employment relationship with Burger King. The kid is going to law school and feels the confidence to end his resignation letter with: “So, consider our bridges burnt.”

Or “flame broiled,” as it were.

But if all he’s got lined up is law school admission, I hope he’s still on good terms with the people at Wendy’s or something….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Departure Memo Of The Day: Guy Burns Bridge With Burger King On Way To Law School”

Reed Smith’s new managing partner?

* “We are a teaching institution. We teach by not having television. We are judged by what we write.” Justices Kennedy and Breyer aren’t ready for their close-ups — they’re adamantly opposed to cameras in the courtroom. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Another thing Justices Kennedy and Breyer are adamantly opposed to is the sequester. They say that these unnecessary budget cuts will hit the criminal justice system where it hurts: its already overflowing docket. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* A liberal film critic took a shot at Justice Clarence Thomas by likening him to Samuel L. Jackson’s portrayal of the head house slave in Django Unchained. Methinks this is a RACEIST™ comparison, n’est–ce pas? [Reason Magazine]

* Reed Smith has a new managing partner, Edward Estrada, who plans to “aggressively recruit laterals.” No relation to Erik Estrada, but if he gets a pair of those cool sunglasses, we approve. [New York Law Journal]

* A better deal was reached in the BAR/BRI antitrust case. Say goodbye to the coupons, and hello to $9.5 million in cold hard cash… which means you’re going to get like $80 if you’re lucky. [National Law Journal]

* “This is a very disgusting case.” Why yes, yes it is. A mother is suing because she claims her son ate a used condom off the floor of a McDonald’s play area. It’s doubtful that she approved of the special sauce. [Reuters]

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