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In the wake of the east coast earthquake of 2011, the legal world seems to be back to its regularly scheduled programming. Courts are back in session, law firms have reopened, and government agencies are fully functioning. While some got a welcome day off yesterday, others only received a temporary respite from work.
Thankfully, the damage to the capital region seems to have been limited. At first it was reported that we may have had a Leaning Tower of D.C., but it turns out that the Washington Monument is just cracked. In other monument news, the Lincoln and Jefferson memorials are closed for further inspection, and the National Cathedral has sustained “mind-boggling” damage.
We received a lot of tips from our readers about their earthquake experiences, but more importantly, we have the final results from our reader poll. We now know who we can blame for moving the earth and disrupting our day. And no, it wasn’t Obama’s Fault.
Find out who is responsible, after the jump….
An article from the Journal of the American Medical Association is making the rounds today. It’s written by a lawyer and a doctor. The authors argue that obese children should be taken away from their parents and placed in foster care.
Yes, it’s entirely possible that this country has become so vain that people want to make letting your kids get fat an offense tantamount to child abuse. But that’s not what’s going on here. The authors aren’t suggesting that parents should lose custody rights if little Johnny has a tubby tummy. Instead, the authors are concerned when little Johnny has diabetes and a measurable gravitational pull by the time he’s 11.
If it weren’t for the fact that foster care in this country is just a little bit better than sending kids to concentration camps, I think I would support this idea. Parents should be on a shorter leash in general….
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Are you a female law student? Have you put on a few pounds during your time in law school? Would you like to be reminded that fit, attractive women have better employment opportunities?
Then maybe you should consider transferring to Cardozo Law School. The Cardozo Health and Fitness Club is holding a networking lunch, but the flier makes it sound like they’re staging an intervention for fat chicks.
The Health and Fitness Club is forcing me to ask: Are Cardozo women really ready to whore themselves out to potential employers?
* Thinking of forwarding a juicy email to email@example.com? A federal court recently ruled that forwarding defamatory email is immunized by 47 U.S.C. § 230. [Eric Goldman / Technology & Marketing Law Blog]
* Kelli Space has almost $200,000 in student loans — and she doesn’t even have a law degree. [Gawker]
* Giving thanks (that you’re not Kelli Space): it’s the classy thing to do. And it’s in your self-interest too. Here are some tips. [What About Clients?]
* Is America ready for a pudgy president? It’s a subject of interest to two large lawyers, Governors Haley Barbour and Chris Christie. [The Daily Beast]
* A man charged with DWI by Duke University police advances a very interesting defense. [WRAL]
* After pay cuts, layoffs, and a management shake-up, Ruden McClosky is “poised to grow.” [ABA Journal]
There was a lovely report in the Wall Street Journal yesterday, if you are a big dude. The report was less lovely if you are salad-eating waif of a man, and downright offensive if you are a normal-sized woman.
This isn’t going to shock anybody who is trying to make a living by servicing clients, but thin women make more than average-weight or plus-sized women. Over $15,000 more. I don’t know if your law degree makes your ass look fat, but a fat ass will make your law degree less profitable.
But what will surprise some people is that thin men make less than bigger fellas. About $8,000 less. Booya! How do you like them apples? In fact, keep your stinking apples, I’m off to have a dinner of steak and potatoes. Gotta keep those revenue enhancements coming in.
I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be celebrating while my big-boned sisters are out there feeling like the entire world is against them. Here, grab a tub of ice cream, sit on the couch next to the Big Sexy, and let’s talk this through…
There are a couple of interesting employment discrimination suits floating around the blogosphere today. One is continuing on behalf of a dead, obese woman. The other involves leaky breasts. Sound like fun?
The claim that is being pursued by the estate of a dead woman is slightly more newsworthy because the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is taking the position that a worker for a non-profit was fired because she had a disability. According to the EEOC — in my head, the EEOC sounds like Jame Gumb (a.k.a. Buffalo Bill) — Lisa Harrison was fired for being a great big fat girl.
Harrison died after filing the suit, but it is being carried on by her estate.
We’ve talked before about how fat people are on the fast track to protected class status. Protected class status is one thing, but are we sure we want to call fat people disabled?
Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Can you do a post on how to avoid the first year “fifteen” or “thirty,” besides the usual diet and exercise? Or, better yet, explain why it is that every male associate here is huge and has gained a ton of weight and looks terrible, while the women are all incredibly emaciated and end up losing 30 pounds after they start BigLaw? Is it because the men just don’t care and the women do, or do men and women at the firm just process stress differently (i.e. eat everything in sight vs. not eat at all)? Maybe there’s another explanation for it (Smoking? Coke?), but the extremely fat/extremely thin phenomenon seems to be extremely gender-related at the firm.
‘Fraid of Being a Fatass
Dear ‘Fraid of Being a Fatass,
What this weight gain/emaciation gender divide really comes down to is exacting revenge. When I stayed late as an associate, I would bide my time, toiling away and occasionally pressing my face against a legal pad to examine the oil stains. Then at 7 p.m., I’d mosey down to the cafeteria for some free-ass dinner, and there would be countless dudes piling their trays high with soggy pizza, salads dripping in Thousand Island dressing, chocolate-dipped biscotti and bizarro flavor Nutra-Grain bars, acting like they were carbo-loading for an Ironman and not a credit facility spell check session. One time I saw a guy buy $27.60 worth of food and then add on gummy bears until he was at $29.75. At that point, it became clear to me what was happening….