Another day, another law school food story. I think after we do the D.C. trivia night, we should head to the Southwest and have a law school chili cook off. Loser has to eat their law dean.
This story isn’t about law students stealing food, it’s ostensibly about students giving food away. Or at least they were trying to. The law students were trying to raise money for hungry people… but they did that in the most Western, decadent way possible…
I’m starting to think that law schools should just start offering low cost meal plans so that nobody has to bring their lunch. If everybody buys their lunch, then communal fridges are just used for beer and breastmilk, and anybody who steals lunch from a food truck will at least have to lose their wanted level before they can eat in peace.
Is it me or have there been a lot of food stories coming out of law schools this semester? I take it as a sign that the economy is improving. If people can worry themselves about eating, maybe they are not worrying about jobs?
You might remember that last month a law student had a conniption about people eating in class. The student had a long list of foods that she considered off limits for in-class consumption. But she seemed to not understand the sounds certain foods make. She wrote: “Apples, pineapples and other crunchy fruit: your helpless classmates are here to study. We want to hear the professor, not the gnashing of your teeth and the crunch crunch crunch.”
Her fellow students seized on this clear distinguishing failure, and defended the noble, quiet, and delicious pineapple.
Now we’ve got a fun update. Apparently the pineapples noticed….
On the one hand, people who steal other people’s lunches are kind of the worst. Nobody accidentally steals lunch from a communal fridge. They know damn well that they are taking the food out of somebody else’s mouth.
On the other hand, people who have a conniption when their lunch gets stolen need to chill. You wouldn’t put your iPad or your wallet in a communal fridge. Not just because it would be a weird place to store such things, but because the very definition of “communal” means any random person with low moral character can take your stuff. If something is so precious to you that you’re going to have a fit if you lose it, you should keep it on your person or under lock and key.
But I guess overall I’m happy that law students keep leaving their lunches in communal fridges and are then surprised when somebody else in the community takes their food. Because watching a person lose their minds like their blood sugar has bottomed out in front of the whole freaking class is fun to read about….
Pineapple, or deadly weapon against learning? You be the judge.
In early returns from the 2013-2014 academic year, the leading theme seems to be the revenge of the stuck-up law student. Usually we work with stories where law students engage in some kind of bad behavior that is humorous to the rest of us. But this year it feels like the good stories are about the law students getting their panties in a bunch over the (not so) bad behavior of others.
We’ve already had the NYU guy being a whiny little bitch about people hanging out late in his building. Note to that guy: things might get a little loud after the ATL/Kaplan Bar Crawl tonight. Buy some earplugs.
Yesterday we got a slew of tips from Osgoode Hall Law students in Toronto. One of the classmates sent around a nasty school-wide email, complaining about people eating in class. I’m telling you, these are the kinds of kids who have a nervous breakdown when the air conditioning comes on during the bar exam.
On the positive side, the Osgoode Hall students have taken collective action to defend one our most important and delicious fruits…
* Earlier this week, Verizon faced off against the Federal Communications Commission in a net neutrality battle royal before the D.C. Circuit. Next time, make FiOS work before trying to get a do-over on the way the internet runs. [New York Times]
* “I see my job as an air traffic controller. And I see an unending line of airplanes.” Federal judges are buckling under the heavy weight of their caseloads, and from the sound of it, they’re not at all happy about the situation. [National Law Journal (sub. req.)]
* Which Biglaw firms strike the most fear into the hearts of their opponents when it comes to litigation? One firm got the boot from last year’s list, and we’ll have more on this later today. [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* Duane Morris is the first U.S. firm to open an office in Myanmar on some prime real estate. Be jealous of their associates as they bask in the splendor of its beautiful architecture. [Philadelphia Business Journal]
* A trio of Quinn Emanuel partners, including John Quinn himself, teamed up to open a high-class sushi joint in L.A. If he waits tables, he’ll definitely need someone to break a hundred. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]
* The Sixth Circuit affirmed the dismissal of a former student’s suit against Thomas M. Cooley Law School, and now he’ll have to live with shame for all eternity after being branded a cheater. [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* Strippers aren’t independent contractors, they’re employees entitled to minimum wage, says a judge. Taking off their clothes for only $7.25 an hour will do wonders for their self-esteem. [New York Daily News]
* Lady Gaga is being taken to trial over the wage-and-hour lawsuit filed by her former personal assistant. We wonder if the pop star will be as foul-mouthed on the stand as she was in her deposition. [ABC News]
Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, September 2, in observance of the Labor Day holiday.
* Municipal election fraud is being alleged in Tuscaloosa after a sorority bribed people with free drinks to get a University of Alabama Law grad elected (defeating the incumbent, another lawyer — and wife of a UA Law professor). The big question here is how f**king terrible is voter turnout in Tuscaloosa that a sorority can rig an election? [AL.com]
* A banned food truck launched a First Amendment suit after officials banned the truck for using an ethnic slur in the name. I haven’t seen a food truck shut down like that since “Steak Me Home Tonight.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* The NFL looks to London. Tax laws are one of many obstacles. [Grantland]
Late last week, Michael Brown and 24 of his friends and family met at a Charleston, South Carolina restaurant for a farewell party for his cousin. After waiting about two hours for a table, a shift manager at the Wild Wing Cafe told the party to leave. Did I mention these folks were black? Oh, well, they were black. And why weren’t they getting seated?
According to the shift manager, it was because a white patron felt “threatened” by the group, and the manager felt obliged to respect this woman’s delusion by keeping the black diners waiting in the lobby before ultimately kicking them out.
Cue the Chief Justice: “Things have changed in the South.”
Seriously though, so far this ordeal has elicited calls for a boycott, but legal action has been mostly overlooked, which is odd since the story brings back memories of one of the biggest discrimination suits of the last 20 years…
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The holiday season is upon us, and yet again, you have no idea what to get for the fickle lawyer in your life. We’re here to help. Even if your bonus check hasn’t arrived yet, any one of the gifts we’ve highlighted here could be a worthy substitute until your employer decides to make it rain.
We’ve got an eclectic selection for you to choose from, so settle in by that stack of documents yet to be reviewed and dig in…
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