X Men small X Summers X Summer Associates Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgTime for another summer associate story. We’re still taking submissions on these, so if you have one, check the submission guidelines and fire away.

Here’s our latest X-Summer:

1. Superhero name: Crab Stabber AKA Senorita Foulmouth
2. Special power: Crazed Crustacean Impaling / Spanish Profanity
3. Summered: King & Spalding, Houston, Summer 2004 or 2005 (“can’t recall”)
4. Claim to fame: The allegations, according to our tipster:

“K&S Houston used to have this boondoggle of a recruiting trip to the Four Seasons resort in Punta Mita Mexico for a weekend. Excellent way to get to know your summers, their spouses, and how they behave socially. And did I mention it is at a Four Seasons in Mexico?”

crab dead crab Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg“Anyway, a group of people were sitting at a beach campfire, drinking some adult beverages and making smores and other goodies on the fire. Our heroine takes her skewer and proceeds to stab a crab, roughly 8 inches in diameter, that was trying to sneak by the people on the beach. Not a small crab. She then proceeds to roast it on the fire. There is a famous picture, which she more or less posed for, with her holding the crab on the skewer with a maniacal grin on her face. Let’s just say some of the partners, spouses and others sitting around the campfire were a little shocked.”

“At another point during that summer, our heroine was sitting in at the beginning of a lunch seminar with other summers, attorneys and paralegals. That summer, [a lot] of the SAs happened to be fluent in Spanish and would speak Spanish to each other in the halls, etc. Well, our heroine was talking to another summer in Spanish and apparently cursing like a Caracas sailor in mixed company, when a paralegal politely said: “You may want to be careful, other people speak Spanish here, too.” To which our heroine shot back: “Are you an attorney?” Ummm… no, but let’s just say that the paralegal knew a few.

5. What happened next: “Ummmm…. no offer.”

The rules still apply. Don’t be a d-bag and name the Crab Stabber or try to guess who she is. Thanks a bunch.

falafel Simpson Thacher Chow for Charity Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgWe’re late to the party on this one. Many of you have already emailed us this Slate piece, in which Daniel Gross goes to town on Simpson Thacher’s “Chow for Charity” program. Article title: “Fifteen Dollars Worth of Smug.”
We first read about Simpson’s program in this great New York Observer article:

[A]t Simpson Thacher & Bartlett, there’s a program called Chow for Charity: If summers and associates go out for a lunch that costs $15 or less per head, the firm donates the other $45 of each person’s lunch allowance to charities including Legal Aid, inMotion and Human Rights First.

For some, this is an appealing option: “It’s great for [the firms] to be able to say, ‘We realize these $60 meals are sort of stupid, so we give money to something good and everyone is happier,’” says an associate. Noblesse oblige never tasted so much like falafel!

The program is also discussed in the New York Times (fourth item) and the WSJ Law Blog.
What do you think of “Chow for Charity”? Take our poll, and opine in the comments, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Summer Lunchin’: Slate Snarks on Simpson”

hamburger fries Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg* We say: Ignorance is bliss. [Althouse]
* The Genarlow Wilson case: let’s go to the videotape! Oh wait… [Concurring Opinions]
* If you’re going to drop the d-word, at least spell it correctly. [PrawfsBlawg]
* Every time an unlawful, creepy houseboat is sunsetted out of existence, a little piece of America dies. [Never Yet Melted via Overlawyered]
* Is Quiznos about to get burned? [Akron Beacon Journal]
* Someday sex-change operations may be tax-deductible. (Can we take a deduction for blogging as a woman?) [MSNBC]

mussel mussels musel muscle Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg* Washingtonienne, the sequel? But this time around, blame the “backdoor action” on the Spicy Mussel Soup. [Medill Reports]
* A compelling defense of Judge Dennis Jacobs’s “look ma, no eyes” approach to dissenting. []
* “My friends said to me, ‘It would take a murder trial for you to meet the right person.’” [Associated Press]
* Because we need to use the “Weirdness” tag at least once a day. [Underbelly]

gingerbread house gingerbread man Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgIn the wake of name partner David Bershad’s guilty plea, the schadenfreude over the fall of Milberg Weiss continues.
Even ex-paralegals at Milberg Weiss are getting in on the fun. Check out this excerpt, from a comment posted at Roger Parloff’s blog:

[F]or anyone who argues that theirs were essentially victimless crimes, how about the competitive advantage Milberg Weiss has enjoyed over firms who really are ethically defending the little guy? It was this idea of evening the playing field for investors and consumers that made me excited about working for Milberg Weiss in the first place, and I passed up more lucrative offers from Defense firms because of my desire to be able to look myself in the mirror every morning. Too bad my employers did not have the same commitment to honesty.

Oh, and as an additional note on class, [former name partner Steven] Schulman actually had the nerve to e-mail the entire firm to ask if they wanted to support his children’s private school by buying gingerbread houses decorated by the kids for $200 a pop. And then, the night of the firm Christmas Party, he sent out a second-chance e-mail offering them discounted at $150!

Rumor also has it that if you bought Girl Scout cookies from Schulman’s daughter, he’d reach into this secret safe he had in his office, and kick back half of the cash to you…
Only Mel Weiss can save Milberg Weiss now [Legal Pad / Fortune]
Earlier: Lawyer of the Day: David Bershad

We all scream for ice cream! And that includes high-ranking officials of the U.S. Department of Justice.
Here’s our latest legal celebrity sighting:

Last night I watched the fireworks from the South Lawn of the White House. The event had a very DC feel to it: everyone there was quasi-famous, even if you couldn’t figure out why.

But I did recognize one person: Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty, the second-highest-ranking official at the DOJ. He was dressed casually, in a red polo shirt, and was sitting on a blanket with his wife and kids.

McNulty may not be Brad Pitt — but here in Washington, he might as well have been. People kept going up to him, introducing themselves, and having their picture taken with him. This is clearly the dorkiest city in the entire country (and I count myself among the dorks, since I recognized him too).

I discreetly took two photographs of DAG McNulty munching on a Dove ice cream bar. Here they are.

Paul McNulty ice cream 1 Paul J McNulty Above the Law blog.jpeg
High-ranking Justice Department officials: they’re just like us. They eat ice cream bars!
Earlier: Every DAG Has His Day

Larry King Paris Hilton Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg* Who says Loyola 2Ls can’t land good jobs? [SCOTUSblog]
* Lobster rolls. And Chipwich. Yum. [Gawker; Althouse]
* It’s nice to know that you can neglect your caseload, fabricate documents, and still get reinstated to the bar. [Boston Globe]
* Law firm ranking schemes are kind of like blogs. If everyone has one, who’s supposed to read them all? [WSJ Law Blog; Wall Street Journal (subscription)]
* Don’t forget: Paris Hilton will be on Larry King tonight (9 PM Eastern time). [CNN]

Skadden Arps Slate Meagher Flom Abovethelaw Above the Law online legal tabloid.jpgA Washington Post article about members of Congress trying to live on $21 a week — the average amount food stamp recipients receive as income supplements — features a source you wouldn’t expect to see quoted in such a piece:

Rick Hindle, executive chef for the Skadden, Arps law firm in Washington, showed recently that you don’t have to spend hours in the kitchen to prepare healthful food for $1 or less per meal….

As part of the launch of a new USDA Web site for food stamp recipients, Hindle cooked colorful quesadillas (60 cents per serving), spinach and meat cakes with brown rice (92 cents) and orange banana frosty (52 cents)….

Hindle, who trained at the Culinary Institute of America, plans to add the quesadillas and some of the other recipes to his regular repertoire.

Guess the Skadden summer program in D.C. doesn’t match up to New York. There’s a big difference between an “orange banana frosty” and a flute brimming over with Cristal.
How Far Can Your Dollar Stretch? [Washington Post]
Earlier: Summer Associate of the Day: ‘Skadden Cristal Boy’

popcorn microwave popcorn Seattle Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgAt our former law firm, the making of microwave popcorn was strictly prohibited. Marty Lipton didn’t like the hallways smelling like a movie theater. As we previously observed, “When you’re trying to close a billion-dollar deal, a sudden hankering for a 32-ounce Coke can be very distracting.”
So… Is the City of Seattle about to follow suit? Details here.
City of Seattle may ban microwave popcorn [ via Drudge Report]
Earlier: Fun With Internal Memos: Submissions, Please

wedding cake marriage Abovethelaw Above the Law legal blog.jpg* ATL readers, meet Modern Bride of the Year, future defender of battered women. [Modern Bride; lots of "In Defense of"s in Slate's Wedding Report] [FN1]
* I hate to repeat myself and every other local politician, but what do you expect from New York City public school teachers? (I mean, what does it say when an atheist donates millions to help the needy send their kids to parochial schools?) [CBS News]
* Even highly evolved, quietly progressive Sweden is not immune to the realities of displacement. [New York Times]
* Feel free to direct your anger at me, but foie gras is a traditional part of my family’s Christmas spread. I blame over- and mass-production for the spectacular extent of bad press. How would you feel if turkey were outlawed? And what happened to the veal controversy? I’m glad I don’t live in Chicago. [Fox News]
* Paris has famously vowed not to act stupid anymore, but she should put her money where her mouth is. Sadly, Tehran will probably nix the idea of The Simple Life: Behind the Burqa. [CNN]
[FN1] Brides and grooms-to-be, please forgive me for this gratuitous laugh at your expense. But I can’t help myself, and somehow I am comforted that such sentiment does not spring from bitterness or a Gawker-esque superiority/inferiority complex. I’m just in a state of utter disbelief that earnestness seems genetically intertwined with blondeness and nasality.

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