Food

Tom Wallerstein

Whether you are a partner or associate, working in Biglaw or in a boutique, the key to success is developing a book of business. And the key to developing business is to focus instead on developing a book of relationships. As I wrote before, “business is an engagement, a lawsuit, a transaction; it is measured in money. A relationship is a connection with a human being. A book of business is virtually impossible for an associate to build. A book of relationships is available to first year associates and partners alike.” No matter how good a lawyer you may be, people still want to do business with people they know and like on a personal level…

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Fireman cooks up one hell of a meal.

A firefighter is suing the City of Phoenix because he received pasta in the shape of a penis and vagina with his name written on it.

Do I have your attention? Would you like to see that complaint? Is your first thought, “Wait, they wrote the guy’s name on the genital pasta?”

I hope the answer is yes to all three…

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It’s a classic story: you run a major produce company and you look at your books and realize, “Oops, I’ve accidentally funneled millions of dollars to terrorist groups.” And then those groups commit some of the “terrorist acts” that form their wheelhouse and their victims and their families look to your company for recompense.

I mean, that would be bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

What can you do?

According to an Ohio appellate court, you can’t ask your insurance carrier to bail you out….

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Reed Smith’s new managing partner?

* “We are a teaching institution. We teach by not having television. We are judged by what we write.” Justices Kennedy and Breyer aren’t ready for their close-ups — they’re adamantly opposed to cameras in the courtroom. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Another thing Justices Kennedy and Breyer are adamantly opposed to is the sequester. They say that these unnecessary budget cuts will hit the criminal justice system where it hurts: its already overflowing docket. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* A liberal film critic took a shot at Justice Clarence Thomas by likening him to Samuel L. Jackson’s portrayal of the head house slave in Django Unchained. Methinks this is a RACEIST™ comparison, n’est–ce pas? [Reason Magazine]

* Reed Smith has a new managing partner, Edward Estrada, who plans to “aggressively recruit laterals.” No relation to Erik Estrada, but if he gets a pair of those cool sunglasses, we approve. [New York Law Journal]

* A better deal was reached in the BAR/BRI antitrust case. Say goodbye to the coupons, and hello to $9.5 million in cold hard cash… which means you’re going to get like $80 if you’re lucky. [National Law Journal]

* “This is a very disgusting case.” Why yes, yes it is. A mother is suing because she claims her son ate a used condom off the floor of a McDonald’s play area. It’s doubtful that she approved of the special sauce. [Reuters]

Gilberto Valle, aka the ‘Cannibal Cop’

Sitting in judgment of another human being is difficult. This case in particular has not been an easy one … [with] material that degrades the human spirit.

– Judge Paul Gardephe, thanking the jury that just convicted Gilberto Valle, the so-called “cannibal cop,” of conspiracy to kidnap.

(More about this grisly case, after the jump.)

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I guess soda pushers will have to go back to slinging rocks.

In case you haven’t been following along with developments inside Mike Bloomberg’s militarized nanny state, last year our elected tyrant outlawed the sale of soda in sizes over 16 ounces at movie theaters and other public places. The mayor felt that nobody needed more than 16 ounces of soda in one sitting, notwithstanding the fact that nobody asked him what my mother thinks.

The law sparked a lawsuit, and today a judge overturned Mayor Bloomberg’s ban.

Bloomberg was not immediately available for comment, most likely because his lawyers were busy drawing up documents to move forward with Bloomberg’s new purchase of the “New York Supreme Court”….

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The first day I took up my place behind the counter was the last day I practiced law.

Mark Russ Federman, a Georgetown Law graduate, commenting on his experience at his family business, Russ & Daughters, one of the last Jewish appetizing shops in New York. Federman is the author of a new book, Russ & Daughters: Reflections and Recipes from the House That Herring Built (affiliate link).

Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

On Monday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our caption contest….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Winner: For Want of a Biglaw Banana”

Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and then vote on the finalists….

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What would you do if your Biglaw firm wasn’t providing you with the kind of nutritious breakfast foods that you oh so desperately need in order to sit in front of a computer all day and troll the comments on Above the Law draft documents? You’d probably whine and moan about your first-world problems to all of your similarly situated friends before even deigning to consider that you could bring your own damn bananas to work.

That’s exactly what everyone’s bitching about at one Biglaw firm, which to be quite frank, is bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S!)….

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