Football

Ed. note: This new column is about sports and the law. You can read the introductory installment here.

Do you remember what you wrote on your law school application essay? I do. Since I knew (and know) next-to-nothing about the law, I chose to focus the theme of my essay on issues of justice and how my childhood and young adulthood had been shaped by a sort of visceral response to injustice that practically forced my hand. That literally compelled me to learn more about the law so that I could fight injustice like some fey Batman, ridding the world of evil. I must have spent days puzzling over what in my life’s experience could be offered up as proof of my worthiness to study the law. Truthfully, I couldn’t think of a single thing in my childhood that was weighty enough for this most holy of callings. A midwestern, middle class, middle-of-the-pack upbringing had left me woefully unprepared for this self-selected mission.

And so it was that a white kid from Kansas decided to say that he was drawn to the law because of the Spike Lee joint, Do the Right Thing. I might have even mentioned that I cried when Radio Raheem was murdered by New York City cops. That the feeling I had while watching a movie as a child was a clarion call to justice. That the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards my admittance to a T14 law school.

This is all to say that several years from now, some idiot very much like your humble correspondent might mention the injustice of the Seattle Seahawks victory Monday over the Green Bay Packers as the moment when he decided to go to law school.

Let’s talk sports, referees, and four-fingered rings that say LOVE and HATE.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: Ed Hochuli Edition”

Offensive pass interference, Seahawks!

It is time to get the real refs [back].

– GOP vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan, commenting on the unfortunate NFL replacement referee situation. Luckily, with the assistance of Proskauer Rose and Arnold Newbold Winter & Jackson, the NFL and the referees’ union were able to reach an agreement to end the lockout.

Just look at those adorable, scheming, devious eyes.

* Jill and Kent Easter have pleaded not guilty to charges of planting drugs on a volunteer at their son’s school. Goddamn that pusher man! [Jezebel]

* Concussion litigation expert Paul D. Anderson discusses the nitty-gritty of all those football players suing because their job may have gave them brain damage. [Legal Blitz]

* In unnerving lawyer news, a Seattle litigator was arrested on accusations of sexually assaulting a masseuse at knifepoint. [Komo News]

* And on the other side of the country, a Pennsylvania attorney was specifically targeted in a home invasion that left him in the hospital with gunshot wounds. What is wrong with people this week? [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* This whole disastrous domestic dispute-turned-shooting could have been avoided by marrying a dog-lover instead of a cat lady. [Legal Juice]

* Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson explains why he’s putting all his chips on Mitt Romney. [Huffington Post]

* Here are some tips on acing your call-back interview. Seriously though, you really only need one item: a Trapper Keeper. [The Careerist]

Looks like Fiona was picturing all the “Criminal” headline puns that she knew were coming.

* In the continuing tales of “It’s not easy being Green(berg),” the firm is settling more than 30 claims from NFL players who say the firm didn’t warn them about investing in an unlicensed casino project. Well, at it’s least better than investing in unlicensed dog-fighting. [Daily Business Review]

* Professor Dale Carpenter, author of a new book (affiliate link) about Lawrence v. Texas, wonders: If gay marriage goes to SCOTUS, could Justice Scalia get hoisted with his own petard? [SCOTUSblog]

* Fiona Apple was arrested for pot at the same Texas border stop as Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, and hacker wunderkind George Hotz. What she needs is a good defense… attorney. [TMZ]

* If I got stuck behind one of these d-bags who pays tolls with a hundred-dollar bill, I would be more concerned about whether it’s a civil rights violation for me to smash their back window with a tire iron. [FindLaw]

* Hey beer nerds, the top secret White House brew recipe has been declassified. This is some crucial government transparency in action. [Legal Blog Watch]

William Baer

* “We’re all from the Ivy League. That seems to be more relevant than what faith we are.” SCOTUS Justice Clarence Thomas really knows how to make Article III Groupie’s heart sing. [New York Times]

* Dewey know why this failed firm’s bankruptcy team is cutting special deals with the former D&Lers who worked on the sale of the Dodgers? Like all things Biglaw, it all circles back to money. [WSJ Law Blog]

* What in William Baer’s past might lead the Senate Judiciary Committee to hold a closed meeting on his candidacy to lead the DOJ’s Antitrust Division? [Blog of Legal Times]

* In a heartwarming pro bono project, Proskauer Rose will be representing NYC in its attempts to evict an elderly newsstand operator from his kiosk in Greenwich Village. It really brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it? [New York Post]

* Jerry Sandusky will be sentenced on October 9, and prosecutors are asking that he be classified as a sexually violent predator. Boy, that’ll be a fun title to have while he’s in jail for the rest of his life. [Bloomberg]

* “[A]t present, the large majority of law graduates — perhaps 80 percent — end up worse off after going to law school that they were before they enrolled.” Paul Campos is so cheerful in his book. [National Law Journal]

Coming soon: Chadbourne & Parke!

* It seems that the good people at Chadbourne & Parke won’t wind up homeless after all — or maybe they will. The firm is taking over Dewey’s old digs at 1301 Avenue of the Americas. How ominous! [Reuters]

* The Fifth Circuit gave Texas a stay on a decision that blocked enforcement of the state’s third-party voter registration law. Well, on the bright side, at least the Lone Star state isn’t getting its ass completely kicked in the courts this election season. [Bloomberg]

* While Jerry Sandusky awaits his sentencing on 45 counts of child sexual abuse, his attorney Joe Amendola is contemplating grounds for an appeal. Seriously? It seems to be time for yet another 1-800-REALITY check, my friend. [Centre Daily Times]

* Remember the Texas family law judge who got caught beating his daughter in a viral video? An ethics panel issued him a “public warning” as punishment — he didn’t even get a reprimand. Sigh. [Houston Chronicle]

* The DOJ has asked for permission to intervene in a class-action suit against LSAC that alleges an epic fail on organization’s part when it comes to accommodating LSAT exam takers with disabilities. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Bucky Askew, a former adviser to the ABA Section of Legal Education and Admissions to the Bar, has moved on to bigger and better things. He’s now a trustee of the National Conference of Bar Examiners. [ABA Journal]

* Are you ready for some concussions?! [The Nation]

* Sorry, wrong song. How about: I’ve been waiting all day for student athlete’s rights, but Stanford’s getting tough like a prime-time fight. California wants to protect injured scholars in cleats. But Stanford doesn’t care for former athletes. (Go ahead, read the article, listen to the song chorus again, then come back here and tell me my fake lyrics were awesome. I’ll wait.) [Legal Blitz]

* Amanda Bynes, charged with hit-and-run. A former child star running afoul of the law, what were the odds? What. Were. The. Odds. [Associated Press]

* Stuff falls from the sky and kills a lawyer. That’s not the start of a joke, it really freaking happened. [The London Evening Standard]

* Note the URL on Niki Black’s response to Brian Tannebaum’s article yesterday, then remember to keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times. [Sui Generis]

* Dealbreaker headline of the day: Bank Of America Makes Policy On Flashing Your Bare Ass At The Office Clear. [Dealbreaker]

* Conservatives in California are against deregulation. The party of Reagan is truly dead. [Slate]

Ed. note: This new column is about sports and the law. You can read the introductory installment here.

Last night, I was having trouble coming up with something to say in this space that begins the post. I think it’s called an introduction. I called up the only woman who doesn’t screen my calls and asked for her help.

Mama Juggs: Are you in trouble?
Juggs: No, mom. Christ, why would you ask me that? No, I’m finding it difficult to think up a story only tenuously related to sports that I can open my column with.
MJ: I don’t understand a word of what you just said.
J: My column, mom. On Above The Law. You said you’ve been reading it?
MJ: *silence*
J: Whatever. Mom, can you think of a sports-related story that’s mildly funny and has little-to-no point?
MJ: Do you remember how your father used to shoot free throws? God, you’d stand out there for hours rebounding for him. How many did he make in a row?
J: Something over 100. I don’t remember. Mom, that’s not a ripping yarn, you’d have to agree.
MJ: You were too young to remember this, but the way his teams ran defense at Lucky High. Oh God, it was poetry. Every motion had an order, but it was so fluid and graceful. It was intuitive, y’know? Your father was so proud of those boys.
J: This isn’t going anywhere, is it?
MJ: The team that took second at state was great, but it was actually the team after that that your father always claimed was the best he coached. I can still see him walking out onto the court with the boutonnière and he looked so impressive. Just striding onto that court with all the confidence in the world. I’ll have to see if I can find a picture. I know I have one around here. He looked so handsome, your dad did.
J: Didn’t he get kicked out of a lot of games for arguing with refs?

LET’S TALK SPORTS!

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: Mostly Football Extravaganza”

Malori Wampler

Last year, we made passing mention of Malori Wampler, the ex-Indianapolis Colts cheerleader who had been fired for posing in “risqué” photographs at a Playboy magazine-sponsored party — and by “risqué,” we mean clad only in body paint. For all intents and purposes, Wampler was basically naked. (And don’t worry, dear readers, we’ve got photos, if you’re interested in seeing that sort of thing.)

But rather than simply contesting the team’s decision to fire her (after all, these pictures had been taken before she became an NFL cheerleader, and the team was aware that Wampler had worked at these parties in the past), Wampler decided to sue, alleging that the Colts had terminated her because of her sex, race, and national origin. Wampler wasn’t fired because she had violated the team’s rule against cheerleaders appearing in nude photos; no, she was fired because she was Indonesian.

Earlier this week, Wampler’s case got some action in federal court. Let’s find out what happened….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Ex-NFL Cheerleader Who Posed for Pictures Clad Only in Body Paint Gets Her Bias Claim Against the Colts Tossed”

Faith Hill will probably not make it to the Above the Law Fantasy Football party.

Are you ready for some football… wait, what, we’re not singing that anymore? That’s a great song. Banning that song is like something Hitler would do.

Anyway, I’m getting back into the fantasy football thing. I hosted a league for Above the Law readers a few years ago. That was hard because the economy kind of exploded that fall.

Now, I want to get back in the game. I’m going to get crushed this year — I don’t think having a newborn meshes well with running a fake football team. But I;m going to want the distraction. It’s also so much fun to watch football the year after your team wins the Superbowl. Everything is gravy; if they stink, who cares, you’re the defending champions.

Are you interested in playing with me and your other Above the Law editors? Staci is in. Danzig is in. Lat will not be participating, but we’ll keep him posted. Playing fantasy football with ATL readers is fun. There’s a lot of smack talking especially around trade time because, well, have you ever seen lawyers try to make a trade where everybody “wins”?

Here’s how it’s going to work: you’ll email me and say you want in. Elie@Abovethelaw.com. If there is enough interest, I’ll run two leagues. If there’s more than that, I’ll email all the people who don’t make the cut and they can organize on their own. Preference will be given, in order to: friends, nice commenters, first come, girls, Harvard grads, mean commenters, Yale grads. Or something like that.

Oh, and two more important things:

  • We’re using ESPN. It’s the worldwide leader — Yahoo and CBSsports are not.
  • It’s going to be an auction style draft. Because auction requires SKILL while snake drafts require getting lucky in the draft order. Auctions are fun, and auctions mercilessly punish people who can’t make time for the draft.

Make sure you let me know by Friday so I can spend the weekend organizing and getting out some draft times. I can’t wait for my team, Pacific Walrus, to crush you this fall.

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