Football

I suggest you dial 1-800-REALITY.

Joe Amendola, attorney for accused child predator Jerry Sandusky, suggesting in a press conference held earlier today that a reality check was in order for anyone who believes Mike McQueary witnessed a rape, reported it, and nothing was done about it.

(So what is 1-800-REALITY? It’s pretty amazing, actually. Find out after the jump.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Quote of the Day: Wait, Who Should We Call?”

The BCS National Title game pits the LSU Tigers against the Alabama Crimson Tide. The game takes place on Monday, January 9th.

It is unlikely that any work will be done in the states of Louisiana or Alabama on January 9th. Here are the dates for the next few BCS title games. It is unlikely that any work will be done in at least one state who has a school in the Southeast Conference.

SEC schools play for national championships in part because SEC fans take football so damn seriously. It’s not just a sport down there — it’s more like SEC fans cling to their guns and religion because they never know when either will help their team win a football game.

Why expect them to come to work on National Championship day? Or court? It’s just cruel. It’s regionalist. It just means we’re going to have slews of motions to continue like this one from an LSU fan who happens to be a lawyer in his spare time….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Can We Just Make the BCS Title Game a Court Observed Holiday? For the SEC at Least?”

Ya ni panimayou?

* Time to separate the men from the boys (but don’t tell Sandusky). An accuser has hired Jeff Anderson of clergy sex abuse fame, and he wants damages. [Wall Street Journal]

* RajRaj is trying to stay out of jail. He thinks he’s got a shot at getting his Galleon convictions vacated, but he’s probably got a better shot at curing diabetes. [New York Law Journal]

* And speaking of Galleon, lawyers, take note: “you don’t get a pass.” Ex-Ropes & Gray attorney Brien Santarlas was sentenced to six months in jail yesterday. [Bloomberg]

* Emory Law has invented a new way to throw loan money in the garbage. At the bargain basement price of $45K, how could you resist? [National Law Journal]

* Twenty people have been charged with luring illegal, eastern European beauties to work in New York strip clubs. Prepare for some new job listings from the NYU Law career services office. [CNN]

* Happy American Censorship Day! Sign these petitions in celebration so you can keep your internet the way you like it — full of infringing and fabulous content. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* A prospective law student got married at Zuccotti Park this weekend. Best protest wedding ever? I guess the honeymoon ended after they were evicted. [The Stir]

* Before you waste your tears crying over how much your fantasy team sucks, you should probably check and see whether it’s even legal to play. [Legal Blitz]

* Chase is giving away over $3M in grants for small charities, so why not take a second and vote for our friends over at Ms. JD? [Chase Community Giving]

* Using free beer to lure criminals into an arrest trap should be a violation of your right against self-incrimination. They should at least be able to drink it before the cuffs go on. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Have you ever wondered why barristers wear black? Yeah, neither have I. [Futility Closet]

* The attorneys for Justin Bieber’s alleged baby mama, Mariah Yeater, have pulled out. Just like the Biebs should’ve done. Allegedly. [Improper]

* Regular twelve-step programs are for the uninspired. Here’s one that only true professionals will be able to survive. [Constitutional Daily]

Attorney Christopher T. Cicero has not had a great year.

It’s not like the general public needs more reasons to dislike attorneys, yet unfortunately, there’s always more fuel for the fire.

If you read the news, you might say they are boozers, they are arrogant, and they are tools. Now cynics can add “cherry-pickers” to that list.

The attorney in the following case acted like the d-bags in Call of Duty who just hide in the bushes the whole game, waiting for people to turn the corner straight into a faceful of buckshot.

Luckily, an Ohio appeals court called shenanigans….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Ohio Attorney Sues Over Misleading Emails, Even Though He Wasn’t Misled”

Jerry Sandusky's lawyer, Joe Amendola.

It would be hilarious if the man wasn’t accused of raping little kids. It appears that Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State defensive coordinator who is accused of having sex with little boys, has hired an attorney. Unlike Joe Paterno, who lawyered up with the Biglaw firm of King & Spalding, Sandusky went with attorney Joe Amendola.

You’d think that out of all the attorneys in the world, Sandusky would pick one who had an untarnished record when it comes to sleeping with minors. But you’d be wrong.

Instead, Sandusky went the other way. He didn’t find a lawyer who just slept with a minor, he found one who reportedly impregnated one….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Jerry Sandusky’s Lawyer Also Likes Them Young?”

* Pennsylvania may have new child abuse reporting requirements by the year’s end. Apparently the key to efficiency in state government is to sully the reputation of the state’s pride and joy. [CNN]

* “There is always room for a good law school, regardless of the climate.” Say hello to Peter C. Alexander, the founding dean at the Indiana Tech law school that nobody wants. [Journal Gazette]

* The hunt for the remains of Mercer Law grad Lauren Giddings is playing out like an episode of Scooby Doo. Will the gang be able to investigate at Old Man Jenkins’s Browning’s farm? [Macon Telegraph]

* A paralegal-cum-prisoner is suing over his soy-based diet, saying it’s cruel and unusual punishment. He’s doing life for child sexual battery, so I say bring on the soy! [New York Times]

* Lat once said that lawyers are like cockroaches: you can’t kill them. Probably why this lawyer bugged out when he saw his creepy-crawly brethren on an AirTran flight. [New York Daily News]

If they hanged Joe Paterno from a tree and gave little boys a bat and said “whack that man like a piñata,” it probably wouldn’t hurt as much as what’s actually about to happen to JoePa.

Because while the former head coach of the Penn State football team has escaped criminal penalty in the Jerry Sandusky scandal, civil liability will be a whole different ballgame.

Penn State is going to be hit with so many civil suits over this mess that the only mirth in Happy Valley will belong to the lawyers. The only people who should be standing on Paterno’s lawn are attorneys on retainer. Things are going to get so ugly for the old football coach — and everybody on his staff, and pretty much every university official — than he can’t possibly fully appreciate it. I just hope he’s more prepared for his depositions than his press conferences.

Obviously, we don’t yet have all the facts. But just looking at the Grand Jury report should tell you that civil actions are coming….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Joe Paterno Better Lawyer Up”

* Herman Cain’s got Wood over all of these sexual harassment accusers. No, seriously. He hired Bryan Cave defector L. Lin Wood to handle his possible defamation claims. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Sad and depressing old man news: Joe Paterno’s legal innocence was irrelevant. Instead of letting him retire at the end of the year, the Penn State Board of Trustees fired him last night. [New York Times]

* A woman from Idaho with some real backwoods charm. What to do when your husband — a lawyer — plots to kill you? Stand by your man and blame the corrupt government. [ABC News]

* Tired of getting screwed? Mayor Bloomberg makes nice with the OWS people, congratulating them for “generally . . . not break[ing] the law.” What a sad great accomplishment. [New York Post]

* And this is why you don’t play games with your résumé, folks. Here’s some proof that next time you lie about being covered in Ivy, you’re going to get a wicked bad rash. [Boston Herald]

* If assignments like this appeared more often, I bet people would stop procrastinating so much and do their homework all day, every day (and then do it again for extra credit). [Arizona Republic]

* Have the Biebs’s lawyers learned nothing from Bill Urquhart? Always CHECK YOU EMAILS to avoid a public Maury Povich-esque paternity problem. [New York Daily News]

Sandusky realizes he's been sacked.

* “The most valuable assets of a law firm go home every night.” If only Biglaw firms realized that prior to dissolution, we’d probably have a lot more happy partners and associates. [WSJ Law Blog]

* If we can’t deregulate the legal profession, then what can we do to improve it? One law professor suggests reforming law schools. Gee, I think I’ve heard that somewhere before. [Washington Post]

* Penn State totally fumbled the Sandusky sexual assault allegations. In other news, the purported child abuser’s autobiography is called Touched. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. [Bloomberg]

* Kitty Genovese’s killer has been denied parole for the fifteenth time. And he should keep getting denied for as long as bystander effect is taught in Psych 101 classes. [New York Law Journal]

* Justin Bieber plans to prove that he’s still a virgin not the baby daddy of Mariah Yeater’s child. If he’s right, he’s going to sue and hope for one less lonely girl in his life. [New York Daily News]

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