Gambling

* “[L]awyers aren’t trained as accountants,” but Gibson Dunn, Freshfields, Drinker Biddle, and Skadden may have some splainin’ to do when it comes to Hewlett-Packard’s M&A blowout with Autonomy. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Looks like it’s time for some holiday musical chairs: Dorsey & Whitney’s managing partner Marianne Short will be leaving the firm at year’s end to join UnitedHealth as its chief legal officer. [Twin Cities Business]

* The court-ordered mediation between Hostess and the bakers’ union broke down last night. If Judge Drain approves the company’s liquidation plan, the Twinkie may disappear from whence it came. [Reuters]

* Remember the students from Texas Southern who sued because their contracts prof allegedly “curve[d] them out of the class”? Yeah, that got dismissed faster than you can say R2K §90. [National Law Journal]

* You shall not pass — or use Lord of the Rings characters in online gambling games! J.R.R. Tolkien’s estate is suing Warner Brothers for $80M over improper licensing of the late author’s characters. [Bloomberg]

* Please don’t tickle me, Elmo. One week after an accuser recanted his allegations against puppeteer Kevin Clash, another one filed suit over an underage sexual relationship. [Media Decoder / New York Times]

* There’s nothing like some man-on-man sexual harassment to get you going in the morning. Sparks Steak House paid $600K to settle charges lodged by 22 male servers over an eight year period. [Corporate Counsel]

* Seems like this pulchritudinous plaintiff’s contract case is still kicking, and Emel Dilek testified that sleeping with the boss was “absolutely not” one of her roles during her time at Mercedes-Benz. [New York Post]

* Lululemon and Calvin Klein have settled their patent spat over elastic waistbands on yoga pants. Here’s hoping the Canadian yoga-wear company turned this lemon of a lawsuit into lemonade. [Businessweek]

* What do divorcées do in their spare time? They go to Florida’s $350M courthouse to spray paint it with broken hearts and notes for the judge who presided over their proceedings. [Riptide 2.0 / Miami New Times]

Chris Christie, that redundant rotundity, has taken a vicious beating this week. The party of personal responsibility has personally held him responsible for Mitt Romney’s defeat. And it’s easy to see why. Instead of traveling to Pennsylvania to stump for Romney, he stayed behind in New Jersey so he could spoon some more with President Obama. What does it profit a man who gains a friendship with Bruce Springsteen, but loses his party the presidential election? Hell if I know.

Loads of people are saying that Christie blew his chance at ever being nominated by the Republicans because of his a-hugging and a-kissing on President Obama. I don’t know about all that. The fact is, Christie has and had about as much a chance at the Republican nomination for president as Rudy 9-11 before him. Just as that lisping vampire couldn’t have won a nationwide nominating process if the excess saliva in his mouth depended on it, so too was Christie doomed. The sort of abrasive politics that Christie practices may have found its level in the New Jersey governorship. And that’s probably okay.

Let’s talk sports….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: Chris Christie Edition”

Sports and Presidential politics have a long and storied history of entanglement. Everyone knows that President Obama is a White Sox fan who has dutifully filled out March Madness brackets and agitated for a college football playoff. Likewise, Mitt Romney is said by some melodramatic fans of figure skating to have saved the 2002 Winter Olympics.

Lesser known amongst political nerds is that William Howard Taft, along with being our 27th President and also serving as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, was the original starting center for the Harlem Globetrotters. The original Round Mound of Rebound, Taft was said to have installed a basketball court in the White House commissary. Late at night, when the Mrs. was fast asleep, Taft could be heard working on his lethal hook shot and pounding large boxes of chocolate donuts downstairs on the newly installed court.

Among his more famous quips, Taft is said to have uttered, during an oral argument at the Supreme Court, “I’m the Michael Jordan of law! Who wants to sex Mutombo?”

Let’s talk sports…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: And Politics Too”

Just look at those adorable, scheming, devious eyes.

* Jill and Kent Easter have pleaded not guilty to charges of planting drugs on a volunteer at their son’s school. Goddamn that pusher man! [Jezebel]

* Concussion litigation expert Paul D. Anderson discusses the nitty-gritty of all those football players suing because their job may have gave them brain damage. [Legal Blitz]

* In unnerving lawyer news, a Seattle litigator was arrested on accusations of sexually assaulting a masseuse at knifepoint. [Komo News]

* And on the other side of the country, a Pennsylvania attorney was specifically targeted in a home invasion that left him in the hospital with gunshot wounds. What is wrong with people this week? [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* This whole disastrous domestic dispute-turned-shooting could have been avoided by marrying a dog-lover instead of a cat lady. [Legal Juice]

* Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson explains why he’s putting all his chips on Mitt Romney. [Huffington Post]

* Here are some tips on acing your call-back interview. Seriously though, you really only need one item: a Trapper Keeper. [The Careerist]

Yesterday, a bunch of Republican delegates, fresh off a night at Tattletale’s helping to repay the student loans of nubile gals one lap dance at a time, approved the 2012 Republican Party Platform.

While liberals and the “lamestream media” are fixated on the planks dealing with “abortion” and “gay marriage,” the platform includes some lower-profile planks worth checking out. Here are five that stuck out to me as a lawyer….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Pol Dancing: Five Less Heralded GOP Platform Planks That Impact Lawyers”

Ed. note: This new column is about sports and the law. You can read the introductory installment here.

In June of 2005, my girlfriend asked if we could go see War of the Worlds. Tom Cruise was flying high, engrossed in a love that would last forever, and starring in a blockbuster that was getting okay reviews. While I was never a huge fan of popcorn movies, I relented. After two solid hours of explosions and other loud noises, I walked away surprisingly impressed with the effort. While the Academy may ignore this film, I thought, I had had a damned good time. The very next weekend, I visited home and caught up with my father. I told him that I thought War of the Worlds was pretty enjoyable and, since I knew he had seen it with my mother recently, I asked him if he agreed. His face puckered sourly and he muttered “No…no.” Then I launched into a litany of guesses, all wrapped in a pseudo-intellectual pose, as to why he disliked the film. Well, sure, it was a silly action movie, but you could do far worse. Spielberg may have “grown up”, but he was still a populist director at heart and quite good at directing the kind of movies that Michael Bay was consistently f**king up. And sure, it wasn’t deep and didn’t leave me with anything besides the faint memory of two enjoyable hours. But wasn’t that enough? Dad patiently sat there as his son prattled on for a bit. When I was finally winded, he said “You want to know why I hated that movie? You know that scene in the beginning where Tom Cruise is playing catch with his son?” Sure, I replied. “Well, Tom Cruise throws a baseball like a goddamned girl. He pushes the thing. PUSH. PUSH. How did you not catch that!? It’s plain as day. And I’m supposed to think he’s a hero!?”

LET’S TALK SPORTS!

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: Spo’ Bettor Blues”

Every time the NFL or the NCAA gets involved in the law these days, you can bet there is going to be some pungent BS coming from heads of our national sports. Whether it’s the NCAA slamming Penn State without due process, or the NFL allegedly defaming one of its players (after punishing him without due process), sports leagues treat the law like so many high school jocks treat nerds: keep punching it until it stops talking.

Usually, the sports leagues look most ridiculous when they try to legislate the morality of their employees. As if anybody besides children and the easily deceived really care how their favorite players live on Monday through Saturday, so long as they come to play on Sunday.

Sundays are of course important. Because in addition to civic pride and fantasy points, there are quite a lot of Americans who have real money on the line when it comes to football. That’s a fact NFL executives are very well aware of… why do you think the league requires teams to make detailed injury reports before the betting lines are set?

But the NFL has to keep up appearances that they oppose gambling on their games, which is why they have objected to Governor Chris Christie’s entirely reasonable proposal to bring sports betting to New Jersey.

Yeah, non-gamblers might be surprised to learn that New Jersey doesn’t already allow sports betting, but you wouldn’t have the Sopranos if gambling was legal in the Garden State….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Oh, The Hypocrisy: NFL/NCAA Object To New Jersey Sports Book”

Alec Baldwin was such a stud.

* Obama’s win for health care reform didn’t result in a polling bump for him, but it did result in an even higher disapproval rating for SCOTUS, at least as far as Republicans are concerned… [POLITCO; CBS News]

* … which may be why Chief Justice John Roberts escaped to “an impregnable island fortress” to avoid the Right’s fury, criticism, and scorn as soon as he could after the ACA opinion dropped. [New York Times]

* “[W]e have learned from the mistakes that were made.” That lesson only cost a few billion dollars. GlaxoSmithKline will pay $3B in the largest health-care fraud settlement in U.S. history. [Wall Street Journal]

* After losing a bid to quash a subpoena, Twitter has to turn over info about an #OWS protester’s tweets. OMG, please respond to that thing in 140 characters or less. [Bloomberg]

* Unlike most recent law school grads, Yale Law’s Vanessa Selbst hasn’t been hedging her bets in bar prep classes. Instead, she went all in, played her cards right, and won $244K at the World Series of Poker. [ESPN]

* Divorce really does bring out the best in people. Alec Baldwin says that if given the chance, he would murder his ex-wife Kim Basinger’s lawyer “with a baseball bat.” Gee, tell us how you really feel. [New York Post]

Beth Shak

For some women, designer shoes are like works of fine art. With soles that can warm any fashionista’s soul, designer shoes are things to be cherished, nay, worshipped. And if you’re wise, you already know better than to mess with a woman’s shoe collection — especially a woman whose million-dollar shoe fetish inspired her to brand her groin area with a red-soled Louboutin tattoo. But unfortunately, some men still haven’t gotten the memo.

In a hand that professional poker player Beth Shak probably wishes she hadn’t been dealt, her ex-husband has decided to go all in with claims made in a new lawsuit against her. Hedge fund manager Daniel Shak, of SHK Asset Management, isn’t hedging his bets when it comes to allegations that his ex-wife hid a costly collection of designer assets in a “secret room,” thereby shielding her from forking over the big bucks in their divorce settlement.

What does this pretty poker player’s ex-husband seek, and just how many pairs of shoes does Beth Shak own?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Poker Player With Full House of Designer Shoes Gets Sued By Ex-Husband Over Her $1M Collection”

Now a dangerous weapon in MA.

* The first day of jury deliberations in the Rajat Gupta insider-trading case ended without a verdict. Benula Bensam’s boredom is epic — the poor girl can’t even blog about the trial anymore. [Bloomberg]

* Baker & McKenzie is celebrating its 50th year in Toronto, Canada by handing out spring bonuses luring in lateral hires. Welcome aboard to Kent Beattie, formerly of Slavies Davies. [Globe and Mail]

* You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape Sandusky’s love. Alleged Victim No. 9 testified that he screamed for help in vain while staying in the former coach’s allegedly “soundproof” basement. [CNN]

* It’s hard out here for a shoeshiner: Cooley Law grads suing their alma mater over allegedly misleading employment statistics may face an “uphill battle” when it comes to fraud allegations. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The CEO of Caesars Entertainment has proclaimed that he has “tremendous confidence” that online poker will become legal in the near future. So much for keeping your poker face on that one, eh? [MSN Money]

* Imagine my surprise when I found out that a yet another man in Springfield, MA, was arrested for assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Here’s the surprise… the dangerous weapon was wasabi sauce. [TIME]

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