Gay

Steven Davis

“You just drove a major global law firm into the ground. What’s next?”

“I’m going to… Disney World Ras al Khaimah!”

“Ras al what? Why do you hate Batman?

Congratulations to Steven Davis, the former chairman of now-defunct Dewey & LeBoeuf, who recently landed a new job. As we mentioned earlier today, he has been appointed chief legal officer to the government of Ras al Khaimah, one of seven semi-autonomous emirates that make up the United Arab Emirates.

What could be drawing Steven to Arabia? And what are the downsides of the move?

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Somewhere between the next two and six years, the court will be ready to do it, assuming the composition of the court does not change.

– Professor Michael J. Klarman of Harvard Law School, author of From the Closet to the Altar: Courts, Backlash, and the Struggle for Same-Sex Marriage (affiliate link), commenting to the New York Times about when the U.S. Supreme Court might vindicate marriage equality nationwide.

(An amusing quip from another law professor, after the jump.)

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The year is quickly drawing to a close, but we have unfinished business to conduct here at Above the Law. We still have to crown our Lawyer of the Year for 2013.

Thank you to everyone who responded to our call for nominations, in the comments or via email. We’ve narrowed down the nominees to a field of ten. As in past years, the contenders run the gamut from distinguished to despicable.

And the nominees are…

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We live in a Christian nation ‘Jack.’

Chris Sevier, the Apple Porn plaintiff, channelling his hero, Phil Robertson. According to Sevier’s rambling, 91-page complaint, A&E’s decision to suspend Robertson indefinitely will have a chilling effect on the practice of Christianity. President Obama makes it into the complaint because he’s allegedly in cahoots with the network in an elaborate strategy to further the gay agenda through basic cable.

(Look, if cable television stations were the locus of a vast conspiracy to enforce a gay agenda, shouldn’t Sevier be suing over the existence of Bravo?)

Earlier this week, the United Kingdom’s Queen Elizabeth II posthumously pardoned Alan Turing. Turing, a mathematician and early computer scientist, is perhaps best known for two contributions. He proposed what has come to be called the “Turing Test” in artificial intelligence theory, used to test a machine’s ability to exhibit intelligent behavior indistinguishable from that of a human. Turing also spearheaded the cryptography team at Bletchley Park in England that cracked the Nazi’s Enigma Code. His work contributed mightily to the Allies’ eventual victory in World War II.

Turing, one of the best minds of his generation or most others, was also openly gay. He was convicted of the crime of “gross indecency” in 1952, for admitting to a consensual sexual relationship with another adult man. With the conviction, the British authorities rescinded Turing’s security clearance and subjected him to ongoing monitoring, fearing that his homosexuality increased the risk of blackmail by the Soviets and enemies of the Crown. They also offered Turing a deal: he could avoid prison for his crime if he agreed to hormone treatments that would severely lower his testosterone levels, effectively eliminating his sex drive and rendering him impotent. Alan Turing chose chemical castration, answering one of the worst “which would you rather?” questions most men of any sexual orientation can imagine. Two years later, in 1954, Turing’s housekeeper found him dead, after he apparently ate a cyanide-laced apple. British authorities ruled his death a suicide.

Turing was prosecuted under Section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act of 1885, commonly referred to as the Labouchere Amendment, which provided that “[a]ny male person who, in public or private, commits [ . . . ] any act of gross indecency with an other male person [ . . . ] shall be liable at the discretion of the Court to be imprisoned for any term not exceeding two years, with or without hard labour.” Convictions under the Labouchere Amendment carried sentences much lighter than for the UK’s actual sodomy law — death until 1861, then life imprisonment in later years — but were much easier to obtain in practice. The Sexual Offences Act of 1967 partially repealed the Labouchere Amendment, though some of the provisions remained officially in place until the passage of the Sexual Offences Act of 2003.

Turing’s pardon this week arrived after a public campaign seeking redress for the maligned genius, whose cause was bolstered by the high-profile support of physicist Stephen Hawking and other public intellectuals. A pardon, while ostensibly a recognition of the good deeds of a man whose mind was largely responsible for saving the free world as we know it, seems to me altogether the wrong thing….

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* A federal judge just struck down Utah’s ban on same-sex marriage. [Salt Lake Tribune]

* After striking down Canada’s anti-prostitution laws, our neighbors to the North went ahead and approved a law school that functionally bans gays. What’s going on up there? Play keep away with the Stanley Cup for 20 years and they just lose their damn minds. [TaxProf Blog]

* Chief Judge Alex Kozinski objects, but nobody wants to hear it. [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* Professor Richard Sander won the right to examine law school race, attendance and grade information, in a bid to prove his central theory that affirmative action somehow hurts black folks. I guess the California Supreme Court is on Team Sander. [San Jose Mercury News]

* Amy Schulman, the powerful general counsel at Pfizer, is out — and now there’s some interesting speculation as to why. [Law and More]

* So now everyone’s writing legal opinions over Fantasy Football trades. [BigLaw Rebel]

* Jim Harbaugh gets all his legal acumen from Judge Judy. Next thing you know he’ll be objecting to “What’s your deal?” for lack of foundation. [ESPN]

* Speaking of Jennifer Lawrence, she can probably help with your International Law final. [The Onion]

* There’s a rundown of the top patent law stories of 2013 on the web next month. And there’s CLE to be had! [Patently-O]

Nose candy for pimps.

* An NSA review panel thinks the Chief Justice of the United States shouldn’t be the only one appointing judges to the FISA Court. We imagine John Roberts is pulling a Stuart Smalley. Don’t worry, you’re good enough. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Sadly, Amy Schulman, one of America’s most influential lawyers and best-paid general counsel, is out at Pfizer. After leading the charge against outside counsel’s hourly billing, we doubt she’ll head back to DLA Piper. [Corporate Counsel]

* Scott Bloch, former head of the Office of Special Counsel in the GWB administration, allegedly hated gay staffers so much he shipped them to Detroit. That settles it: he really hated them. [Blog of Legal Times]

* Sen. Elizabeth Warren proposed a bill that would ban all private employers — except the government — from running credit checks on new hires. Let’s go rack up some credit card debt! [National Law Journal]

* Law schools are facing enrollment problems, but Boalt Hall and Santa Clara Law saw the size of their entering classes rise. Flooding the entry-level job market continues to be celebrated. [The Recorder]

* “Yes — I do share nose candy with these girls. For free. For my personal use, OK?” Pro se litigants say the darndest things. Good thing this guy got an attorney before things got worse. [Albany Times Union]

Three cheers for “cultural capital.”

* Despite his hatred of 3L classes like “Law and Unicorns,” Justice Scalia believes that the third year of law school is necessary — perhaps a necessary evil, but still necessary. [Memphis Daily News]

* “[T]his excuse — sometimes labeled the ‘too big to jail’ excuse — is disturbing, frankly….” The eminently quotable Judge Rakoff is at it again, this time with harsh words for the DOJ. [New York Times]

* According to the latest survey from Citi Private Bank’s Law Firm Group, managing partners think that 2014 will be better than 2013. This means bonuses will be the same next year. [Am Law Daily]

* Attorneys from Wiley Rein are fighting for $2 million in fees in the wake of their SCOTUS win in the Shelby County Voting Rights Act case. The firm’s quest has been called “absurd.” [National Law Journal]

* “The record is utterly devoid of any evidence of criminal intent or intentional misconduct.” It turns out the attorneys accused of malpractice by the Miccosukee Indians weren’t bad after all. [Daily Business Review]

* Rather than pegging its value at $1 million, a professor from a fourth-tier law school is promoting the “non-economic value” of a law degree. Can “cultural capital” repay your loans? [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* “[N]o law school in Canada should be allowed to weed out gay students.” Too bad. Trinity Western University, the law school that bans gay “sexual intimacy,” received preliminary approval. [Globe and Mail]

* Law school specialization and you: follow these three simple steps to help you decide which niche you’ll be unable to find a job in after you graduate. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* The Grinch goes to court to get some legal redress. Dr. Seuss really is all about the law. [NPR]

* How much bulls**t is wine appreciation? This guy is in trouble for selling fake wine to so-called experts for years and they never noticed. [Gawker]

* Is this really the most likely scenario after you graduate with a law degree? [Law School Lemmings]

* Congratulations to Eric Schneiderman for successfully getting fired Domino’s workers back on the job. Living up to the New York’s AG’s new “If You Don’t Get Justice In 30 Minutes, It’s Free” promotion. [Daily Kos]

* Celeb lawyer saves kid from getting bowled over by Chicago Bulls. Amazingly, the Knicks were able to take this guy’s lead and actually won a game. [TMZ]

* Creating fake Linkedin accounts to make your competitor seem like it’s really a foreign company. Well, that’s one way to compete. [IT-Lex]

* Folks who’ve been watching the Ninth Circuit’s en banc proceedings have asked why Judge Gould appears by video. The reason is that Judge Gould has multiple sclerosis and works from his home base in Seattle. Here’s an awesome profile of the judge. [United States Courts for the Ninth Circuit]

* Elie joined Non-Sequiturs all-stars Jessica Mederson of Legal Geeks and Kevin Underhill of Lowering the Bar on Legalese It! with Mike Sacks. They discussed the D.C. Circuit, India’s new anti-gay law, and the affluenza case. The video after the jump…

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Stanley B. Stallworth

The allegation is completely unfounded, and we look forward to defending vigorously Stan’s good name and reputation. Stan is a pillar of the community, and he has tirelessly worked on behalf of young people for the past 25 years.

– The Stallworth family, in a statement issued to Am Law Daily regarding the sexual assault charges filed against Stanley Stallworth, a real estate partner in the Chicago office of Sidley Austin, and his nephew, Therrie Miller.

(The full statement and additional commentary, after the jump.)

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