Gloria Allred

Life's a Blitsch, and then you die.

* “If you love me you’ll pass this bill.” Sorry, Obama, but even the Democrats are busy washing their hair on this one. How about we pass a resolution like this instead? I’d totally love Obama for that. [New York Times]

* What’s with town clerks in New York and gay marriage licenses? If you refuse to do your job, you shouldn’t be forced to resign, you should be fired. Proskauer’s nicer than me, though. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Gary Giordano, the man accused of killing his swinging gal pal in Aruba, has hired a new attorney. Apparently Jose Baez is now the go-to guy for defendants with shady pasts and even shadier alibis. [Daily Mail]

* “Leicester, you are not the father!” If only this had happened on an episode of Maury. Lawyer Leicester Stovell’s paternity suit against LeBron James has been dismissed. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

* The Blitsch is back, and she’s got Gloria Allred on her side to file a motion to dismiss. Why? Because all women should have the right to embarrass ex-lawyerly lovers online. [New York Post]

* A case of puff puff politics? You know what, if they gave out free pot before every major election, I bet a lot more people would register to vote. [CNN]

Does anybody really want to see grandma in this?

I have to do something I hate doing. I have to give Gloria Allred some publicity. Sure, I have to mention her only in order to say that I think she’s wrong and using the plight of women to further her own fame. But I still have to mention her, which is what she wants. It’s a great system she’s set up for herself: she wins even when people talk about how ridiculous she is.

But I can’t ignore Allred here because now she is messing with something near and dear to my heart: scantily clad cocktail waitresses in Atlantic City. That’s right, I live on the East Coast. That means I can’t easily get to Las Vegas or New Orleans. That means occasionally I have to go get my gambling fix in A.C. If you’ve never been to Atlantic City, imagine Vegas after the apocalypse: everything is broken and rundown and more desperate-looking. It’s pathetic. And you feel pathetic while you are there (until you start hitting some points and the table gets hot and you find yourself nailing a hard ten and it feels like the whole casino gives you a high five).

One casino was doing something about that depressing ambiance. It was getting rid of all of its old cocktail waitresses. Believe me when I tell you that this is an important move. Imagine sitting in A.C. down a grand at 4 a.m. and starting to think to yourself if there is any Swingers potential and then your watered-down drink comes back only it’s brought to you by a woman old enough to be your grandmother. And so instead of trying to figure out how to have sex with the waitress, you’re sitting there kind of thinking of how your mother would disapprove if she saw you in that moment. It’s enough to make you want to kill yourself.

It’s certainly enough to make you want to stop gambling. And now along comes Gloria Allred, trying to tell people that 50-year-old cocktail waitresses at casinos are still sexy, and can’t be fired….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Women Are Not Sex Objects; Cocktail Waitresses, On The Other Hand….”

When last we checked in on Debrahlee Lorenzana (pictured), she was switching lawyers to bring on a fellow media hog, Gloria Allred (recently the subject of a lengthy NYT profile). Over the weekend, Lorenzana filed her first papers under Allred’s stewardship.

Apparently we need to make a call to Geneva or something, and have them check out Citibank. FoxNY reports:

A tearful Debrahlee “Debbie” Lorenzana read a prepared statement Monday morning explaining why she is a victim of sex discrimination.

Lorenzana and her attorney, Gloria Allred, are asking for a human rights investigation. She claims she was fired from her job as a business banker job at Citibank after complaining that male colleagues called good looks distracting.

In other breaking news regarding workplace human rights violations, when I walked in today, I’m almost positive that a Breaking Media colleague thought “Whoa, that’s a big dude.” Nothing was said, but I saw it in her eyes. Can somebody text me the number for The Hague?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Too-Hot-For-Citibank Banker Files New Papers — With the Help of Gloria Allred”

Tiger Woods Rachel Uchitel Elin Nordegren.jpgWe mentioned L’Affaire Tiger Woods in Morning Docket (first three links), but since it was the big story of the long holiday weekend, we thought we’d revisit it in more detail. This story has a number of interesting legal angles.
The most thorough coverage appears over at TMZ. Check out these posts, which thrown together could make for quite the law school exam hypothetical (we’ve included study questions with each one):

  • Cops Pursue Warrant in Woods Case: According to TMZ, the Florida Highway Patrol (FHP) may be “obtaining a search warrant — allowing them to seize medical records from the hospital that treated Tiger Woods — in an attempt to determine if the wounds Woods sustained are consistent with a car accident or domestic violence” (allegedly perpetrated against Woods by his wife).

Is there probable cause?
More links and questions appear below.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Some Legal Angles on the Tiger Woods Story”

Borat Above the Law Legal Blog Law Gossip Borat.JPGLitigation surrounding Sacha Baron Cohen’s controversial comedy, Borat, is turning into a cottage industry for the legal profession. Here’s the latest news:

The owner of an etiquette business who was handed a plastic bag supposedly containing feces in the hit movie “Borat” says she was [falsely] told the filming would be used for a documentary in Belarus.

Cindy Streit said she filed a complaint Thursday with California Attorney General Bill Lockyer, requesting an investigation into possible violations of the California Unfair Trade Practices Act.

For those of you who haven’t the film, here’s a description of the scene in question:

Streit said she arranged in Alabama both a sit-down session with Borat, played by comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, and a dinner party with some of her friends…. Though awkward at times, the dinner went well until Borat asked to use the bathroom, Streit said.

“I had taught him to excuse himself. He did that correctly and went upstairs,” Streit told The Associated Press. “The next thing that happened is that he came down the stairs holding this plastic bag with whatever was in it.”

“My horror was that he had brought a bag of feces to my dinner table.”

Would-be Borats, consider yourselves warned: Cindy Streit doesn’t take any s**t.
Fun fact: Streit is represented by Gloria Allred, the colorful California litigatrix (and mother of Court TV anchor Lisa Bloom).
Etiquette Coach Files ‘Borat’ Complaint [Associated Press]

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