Tajudeen Oladiran is an Arizona attorney who is currently of counsel at Aguilera International Counsel. A Biglaw refugee, he spent a year at Greenberg Traurig, as well as a year working for the Arizona Attorney General’s Office.

Given those credentials, we were surprised that he would file one of the craziest motions we’ve come across here at Above The Law.

From the U.S. District Court of Arizona:

It is a motion in a case that Tajudeen Oladiran and his wife filed against Suntrust Bank for racketeering. We gather from the motion that Oladiran was not pleased with the ruling by “the Dishonorable Susan R. Bolton” (as she’s identified in the caption). Oladiran wrote: “I just read your Order and I am very disappointed in the fact that a brainless coward like you is a federal judge.”

A lesson on how not to address the court, after the jump.

We’re now into the back half of the brand new Vault law firm rankings. Just like last year, we worry about a proliferation of “TTT” accusations in the comment threads. But such terms of art can miss the positives of many of the firms in this section of the Vault rankings. Here’s the list:

51. Fulbright & Jaworski
52. Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati
53. Morgan Lewis & Bockius
54. McDermott Will & Emery
55. Alston & Bird
56. Bingham McCutchen
57. Fish & Richardson
58. Dechert
59. Greenberg Traurig
60. Cadwalader Wickersham & Taft

We have already extensively talked about the Morgan Lewis situation. Let’s move on to other firms after the jump.

The number of law firms canceling their 2010 summer associate programs continues to climb. Here are the latest additions to the growing list:

1. McCarter & English: Managing partner Eric Wiechmann confirmed to ATL that the firm will not be holding a summer associate program in 2010. In addition, he confirmed that incoming associates won’t be starting until December 1, 2009 (which, all things considered, is pretty good).

(Before some of you say you’ve never heard of McCarter, please note that it’s one of the largest firms in New Jersey — a sizable legal market. In addition to its main office in Newark, the firm also has offices in Boston, Hartford, Stamford, New York City, Philadelphia and Wilmington. Recently it made news by hiring Harley Lewin, a leading IP lawyer and trademark guardian, from Greenberg Traurig.)

2. McGuire Woods: This is a firm that needs no introduction. It’s quite sizable, with 900 lawyers across 18 offices worldwide, and it’s #61 on the Am Law 100 list.

A spokesperson for McGuire Woods confirmed what we’ve heard from various law student tipsters: the firm is “likely to reduce the number of offices in which we have our summer programs.” It has not, however, made a final decision on which offices won’t be hosting summers. (One reader predicts the firm won’t have summer associates outside of Richmond, Charlotte, and Chicago.)

But there’s some additional interesting backstory here.

Based on a Washington Post article profiling the Five O’Clock Club, an outplacement and career coaching company, we constructed a Biglaw blind item:

Which New York law firm, having already completed two rounds of layoffs, has hired the Five O’Clock Club to help it carry out additional layoffs (in August, October, and November)?

After we ran the item, several firms came forward to declare they’re not the firm in question. And now they’re joined by one more: Morgan, Lewis & Bockius.

A spokesperson for Morgan Lewis contacted ATL to say that it isn’t the firm with layoffs in the works. In fact, Morgan Lewis claims that it shouldn’t even be on the shortlist of contenders.

Read why — and check out the list of the Five O’Clock Club’s clients, including some very prestigious law firms that haven’t publicly admitted to layoffs — after the jump.

It has taken us a while, but Above the Law is now able to confirm that Greenberg Traurig has decided to cut salaries of its summer and first year associates.

As with McGuire Woods and Allen Matkins, first year associates are looking at a 10% pay cut. A Greenberg spokesperson characterized the news in this statement to Above the Law:

First-year associates will start between September and January depending on the city and the practice area.

We have made changes to our summer associate and first-year compensation structure that emphasize our focus on the needs of our clients, performance, and that are appropriate in the current business environment. Any changes are specific to local markets and confidential.

As in any other year, our focus is to provide top quality legal service to our clients and support the career development of our associates.

After the jump, we look at other Greenberg cost cutting measures.

A few weeks ago, we heard Greenberg Traurig was losing IP partners in Orange County. Obviously, this is not the time to be losing IP partners. As one tipster put it:

Greenberg Traurig’s Orange County office lost its Intellectual Property practice last week when Mark Krietzman and Peter Gluck jumped ship to join Luce Forward and took their associates with them. Their practice was the only profitable practice in GT’s OC office for fiscal ‘08 and fiscal ‘09.

While Greenberg declined to comment for this story, Luce Forward did confirm hiring these partners.

We imagine Luce Forward could use the shot in the arm. The firm recently laid off 27 people and canceled its 2009 summer program. But adding this practice group should help.

But what does this mean for Greenberg? Some interesting reports after the jump.

Greenberg Traurig is trying to tighten up their administrative ship. The kind of normal, everyday instances of over clocking that many administrative assistants engage in are being directly addressed by management. Secretaries and administrative assistants received the following memo earlier this week.

The per attorney cost for overtime in the Chicago office is higher than the firm average and significantly higher than some offices. You may think that working an extra 15 -30 minutes per week is not significant. It is. We have to reduce our number and we are instituting the following guidelines. The guidelines are simply stated and easy to achieve. If you have questions, we are happy to discuss them with you.

In normal times, the guidelines (printed in full after the jump) would seem a bit petty. Here’s one example:

Take your full lunch hour and clock out BEFORE you go to pick up or purchase your lunch.

Yes, everybody knows that people should do that, but normally it wouldn’t be such a huge deal that you have to issue an entire memo about it. At least you shouldn’t have to use the excessively formal “All-Caps” method of communication.

But in these times of significant economic stress, 15-30 minutes of pay a day could literally save jobs. Everybody really should be looking for ways they can become more cost efficient.

Read the full firm memo after the jump.

In this economic climate, bankruptcy partners are worth their weight in gold. Expect to see more lateral movement in the bankruptcy bar, as marquee names get courted by firms seeking greater presence in the area.

Here’s what could be the start of a trend: Bruce Zirinsky (pictured), co-chair of the financial restructuring department at Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft, is moving from CWT to Greenberg Traurig. Joining him is fellow bankruptcy partner John Bae.

In response to inquiries from ATL, spokespersons at Cadwalader and Greenberg Traurig issued this joint statement:

We can confirm that Bruce Zirinsky and John Bae have tendered their resignation at Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft and have accepted offers to join Greenberg Traurig shortly.

Congrats to Greenberg Traurig on their new hires. GT seems to be growing despite the downturn, as reflected in their most recent press releases.

As for Cadwalader, all’s fair in love and lateral moves. The firm is losing two bankruptcy partners, at a time when they’re in high demand. But recall that, back in March 2007, CWT raided another firm for Chapter 11 champs of its own: George Davis, Deryck Palmer, John Rapisardi and Andrew Troop, who left the storied bankruptcy group of Weil Gotshal for Cadwalader.

Reflections on what the Zirinsky and Bae defections mean for CWT, after the jump.

Here’s some (more terrible) news that we don’t want to get passed over just because it’s late on a Friday.

We are hearing reports that a number of associates will be laid off from Greenberg Traurig today. As we understand it, the layoffs are focused in the New York office and are being conducted right now. They hope to be finished before the close of business today.

The firm declined to respond to an immediate request for comment, but our tipsters report that the Real Estate practice group is going to be hit the hardest. The numbers are too varied from our sources to be able to confirm how many associates are being let go today.

In terms of severance, tipsters have confirmed that the laid off associates will receive a two month package.

The new firm motto of Greenberg is: “We’re Built for Change.” We hope the same can be said of their former real estate associates.

Oh the irony, after the jump.

Something is going on over at Thacher Proffitt & Wood.

This summer, the firm had to deny a rumor of possible dissolution. The word is that the firm took an especially tough beating when the bottom fell out of the housing and credit markets. In September, just a week after Lehman Brothers collapsed, we reported that Thacher Proffitt was looking for a white knight to save them (King & Spalding).

Today brings word that Thacher Protfitt abruptly closed their office in White Plains, New York. The firm declined to comment on the closing, but this picture was on the door of the firm’s (former) White Plains office (thumbnail image; click to enlarge):

A tipster reports:

Presently, there are no attorneys or support staff anywhere in the office — just boxes, empty ones being filled, and filled ones being shipped out.

Update: Back in April, we passed along a rumor that the White Plains office would be closing. The firm denied this, but the closing has now come to pass.

Where did all the cowboys go? After the jump.

Judging from our traffic, readers are enjoying this rundown of the Vault 100. We do aim to please here at ATL. We appreciate those who have offered insights about firms in the comments.

Moving on to the next group (with prestige scores in parentheses):

61. Cahill Gordon & Reindel LLP (5.608)
62. Sonnenschein Nath & Rosenthal LLP (5.583)
63. Bingham McCutchen LLP (5.583)
64. Greenberg Traurig, LLP (5.478)
65. Holland & Knight LLP (5.416)
66. Heller Ehrman LLP (5.346)
67. Foley & Lardner LLP (5.266)
68. Steptoe & Johnson LLP (5.252)
69. K&L Gates LLP (5.242)
70. Kaye Scholer LLP (5.230)

As we move down the Vault list, “notable perks” are becoming less elaborate. This group is dominated by tales of free food, from endless soda at Greenberg Traurig to weekend doughnuts and muffins at Foley. And it appears that Pillsbury lacks a monopoly on cookie benefits; over at Cahill, lawyers are plied with “twice daily cookie trays.”

We note this food-related perk at Bingham: “If any lawyer takes out a more junior lawyer for drinks/dinner, he/she can submit the expense to the mentoring budget AND the senior person can get creditable hours.” Can you expense the roofies?

We invite you to compare and contrast these firms’ work, lifestyle, benefits… and cookies, in the comments.

Earlier: Vault 100 Open Threads - 2009

Congratulations to Keira Driansky and David Simon, chosen by ATL readers over Kristy Hong and Jonas Blank III as April’s Legal Eagle Couple of the Month.

Now for the next set of entrants, and it’s a crowded field. We think this week’s column sets a record for total number of Ivy League JDs. Here’s our latest crop of outstanding newlyweds:

1. Deborah Adler and Brian Sutherland

2. Rachel Hannaford and Justin Lerer

3. Zoe Segal-Reichlin and Daniel Garodnick

4. Alison Franklin and Shane Milam

Read up on their pedigrees and passions, after the jump.

The bad news continues to roll in. Becker & Poliakoff, which just announced across-the-board pay cuts for its lawyers, isn’t the only Florida firm that’s hurting.

From a report by Julie Kay, for the upcoming issue of the National Law Journal:

In another sign of the hard times facing the legal industry, particularly in real-estate heavy South Florida, two local law firms — Holland & Knight and Shutts & Bowen — have laid off non-lawyer staffers.

On a day that could be dubbed Black Friday in South Florida legal circles, Tampa-based Holland & Knight, one of Florida’s largest and most venerable firms with 1,150 lawyers, laid off 70 staffers Friday, including legal secretaries, IT and accounting staff. No lawyers were laid off.

The layoffs of about four employees in each of Holland’s 17 offices represented 5% of Holland’s non-lawyer workforce.

Shutts & Bowen, a 200-lawyer, Miami-based firm, Friday laid off nine people, all entry level file clerks or paralegal clerks. No lawyers or legal secretaries were affected.

Holland & Knight spokeswoman Susan Bass told the Daily Business Review that the firm “had some redundancies and inefficiencies.” Seventy staffers is a whole lot of redundancies.

Read more — about prior layoffs at H&K, and the situation over at Greenberg Traurig — below the fold.

Troubles continue for Greenberg Traurig, the former home of disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. The firm itself has just been indicted on Abramoff-related allegations. Sure, it’s in Guam, but still — an indictment is an indictment (and an indictment of the firm, not just current or former employees). See links below for more details.

In addition, we’ve been hearing interesting things about Paul Alter, a former co-managing partner of the firm, based in the New York office. His bio has been pulled from the Greenberg Traurig website, and nobody has seen him around the office lately.

There are all sorts of juicy rumors going around about the reasons for his departure. We have an inquiry into the firm but have not yet heard back from them. If you have information, please email us. Thanks.

Miami law firm indicted in Guam [Miami Herald]
Greenberg Traurig Indicted in Guam [ABA Journal]

Some of you may be tired of our little Miami blackout caption contest. But we agree with the commenters who suggested that a contest with 20 entries was unwieldy. We’d like to get it right this time.

Here’s what we’ve done. We’ve taken the top five vote getters — there was a clear drop-off after #5, with all other choices polling under 10 percent — and pitted them against each other in a final round.

If you feel like it, you can review the contenders, and vote for your favorite, after the jump.

We have not forgotten last week’s promise of an ATL caption contest. To refresh your recollection, here’s the photo:

Here’s the actual caption:

Lawyers, from the left, Alan Lash, Justin Fienberg, and Alex Mendez, not lawyer, working on a project at Greenberg Traurig, on 27th floor of 1221 Brickell, went to lunch and found the building out of power.

Check out the suggested alternative captions, and vote for your favorite, after the jump.

From one of our tipsters:

Richard Rosenbaum, president of Greenburg Traurig, made the following group email faux pas. He used the company listserv to send two emails soliciting contributions for the McCain campaign, proving that law students aren’t the only bumbling souls who screw up listserv etiquette. From Rosenbaum’s first email:

“As we have said on a number of other occasions, our firm does not support any particular presidential candidates as a firm. We are a business catering to a wide range of clients and employing lawyers and staff with a wide variety of interests and preferences in the political arena…”

Blah blah blah, a bunch of politically correct qualifiers, then BANG! The money-grab:

“I have recently been named a National Co-Chair of Senator McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign. As has previously been the case, over the next several months I will be working alongside several other leaders from the American business and legal communities to personally solicit contributions and other political support for Senator McCain’s presidential campaign.”

Now, of course, Rosenbaum goes on to say that participation is voluntary, etc. But is it really appropriate for a firm President to use group email to solicit campaign funds?

More, after the jump.

Here’s a photo of lawyers affected by the south Florida blackout, from the Miami Herald:

Here’s the actual caption:

Lawyers, from the left, Alan Lash, Justin Fienberg, and Alex Mendez, not lawyer, working on a project at Greenberg Traurig, on 27th floor of 1221 Brickell, went to lunch and found the building out of power.

ATL readers, we think you can do better. We welcome your suggested alternative captions, in the comments. Assuming sufficient response, we’ll take our favorites, incorporate them into a poll, and hold a caption contest. Thanks.

Update (2/29/08, 10 AM): New entries for the caption contest are no longer being accepted. We are reviewing the current submissions and will post a poll next week. Thanks.

Update (3/3/08): You can vote on the nominees over here.

Remember the long-winded, slightly ridiculous year-end message of Cesar L. Alvarez, CEO of Greenberg Traurig? It was interpreted in some quarters as drawing a line in the sand on associate pay raises. Not surprisingly, ATL commenters had a field day with it.

The Daily Business Review, in this interesting piece by Alana Roberts, followed up with the firm about it. Here’s the money quote:

Alvarez told the Daily Business Review that the salary freeze at Miami-based Greenberg is for equity shareholders only….

Really? That seems odd, since the memo spoke in terms of controlling “costs,” and when one talks about costs, one usually thinks of associate salaries (as opposed to the firm profits that flow to shareholders or partners). But whatever.

Also, it seems Cesar Alvarez was irritated by the memo’s appearance on ATL:

Alvarez said his memo was widely distributed because of his policy of keeping everyone at the firm informed about the firm’s business and expressed some annoyance with the leak.

“It was confidential to the firm,” Alvarez said. “Somebody’s decided to send it outside the firm, but that’s the way life goes nowadays. I’m not the least embarrassed that this went out of the firm.”

He’s right: “that’s the way life goes nowadays.” So just cut out the middleman, and send your internal memos to us directly next time.

Business of Law: Greenberg Traurig braces for a tough 2008 [Daily Business Review]

Earlier: Is This A Law Firm, or the Salvation Army? Greenberg Traurig Launches ‘Collection Drive’ (and Hints at No More Pay Raises)

We have a lunch meeting today, so we’re going to be offline for a while. We’ll leave you with a food-related post to chew over while we’re gone. Hopefully it won’t cause you to lose your appetite.

Over at Keeping Up With Jonas, Jonas Karp has filed a great investigative report: a look at how various law firm cafeterias fared in unannounced annual inspections by the New York City Department of Health. If you’re hoping for a healthy dose of schadenfreude, you might be disappointed. As Karp writes, “All of the firms surveyed passed their inspections, and none had Serendipity 3-like 100 live cockroach violations.”

Darn. But as Jonas notes, “some firms did a lot better than others.”

Which ones? Read the full post to find out. As you review the results, consider this question: Is cafeteria cleanliness inversely proportional to law firm prestige? Simpson Thacher and Cravath came within a few points of failing inspection, while a perfect score was earned by… Greenberg Traurig!

Maybe GT associates won’t be getting a pay raise anytime soon. But at least their New York office has an immaculate cafeteria.

Feel free to opine on the quality of your law firm’s cafeteria, or any other Biglaw canteen that you have personally sampled, in the comments.

Law Firm Cafeterias: Inspection Results [Keeping Up With Jonas]