Guantanamo Bay

Morning Docket 1.13.08

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* If you don’t have hooters you can’t work there. Hooters discriminates against men by refusing to hire them, a class action argues. Get over it sissies, and grow some boobs. [Courthouse News Service]

* In less pressing news…President-elect Barack Obama will issue an executive order to close Guantanamo within days of entering the White House according to senior advisors. [BBC News]

* Annoyed by your loud neighbors? At least you don’t live on 64th and Lexington next to Berny Madoff (well actually you probably do, I bet those apts. are sweet) His neighbors are incensed by yesterday’s decision to keep Madoff out on bail. Meanwhile, Fairfield Greenwhich has been sued three times by Madoff investors. [Bloomberg.com]

* I served my country, and all I got was special judicial help. An Illinois county is launching a special court to try veterans who commit non-violent crimes. [The Associated Press]

* Obama asked Congress for the second-half of the bailout money so he can stabilize the economy. [The International Herald Tribune]

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Morning Docket 1.2.09

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* London-based law firm Linklaters was the leading law firm in mergers and acquisitions this year, taking the number 1 title from Sullivan and Cromwell. [Bloomberg]

* Former UK attorney general Lord Goldsmith says the UK should take in prisoners from the Guantanamo Bay prison camp if it will help the U.S. close the prison. [BBC News] Australia is not likely to take any prisoners says prime minister Kevin Rudd. The U.S. has asked a 100 countries to help clear the prison. [BBC News]

* Guinea pigs may smell bad but should you go to jail for owning one? Probationers in California could end up in jail for failing to report owning harmless pets like hamsters or goldfish thanks to a ruling by the California Supreme Court. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* A chinese court convicted 11 people for running a counterfeiting ring that “manufactured and distributed pirated Microsoft software throughout the world.” [The New York Times]

* Associates were not the only people in the legal community that were displeased with compensation this year. Federal judges lost their request to Congress for a pay raise to account for inflation. Chief Justice John Roberts says the frightfully low pay for judges threatens the quality of the court. [The Los Angeles Times]

* Life at law firms is not looking good for 2009, sorry to say. Lay-offs and lower bonuses will likely continue in the New Year. On the bright side–less work could help you meet that New Year’s resolution to go to the gym. [The Chicago Tribune]

Morning Docket 12.03.08

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small joy stick.jpg* Barack Obama has promised to close Guantanamo Bay, but what is going to happen to the most dangerous inmates? Should they be released anyway? What legal basis can the U.S. use to keep them captive? [Bloomberg.com]

* Roman Polanski — the Academy Award-winning director of Rosemary’s Baby, who admitted to having sex with a 13-year-old girl in Jack Nicolson’s house in 1977 — has asked a judge to dismiss his case. Polanski fled to London 30 years ago to avoid a prison sentence and has been a fugitive ever since. [Los Angeles Times]

* The Republican victory in Georgia of Senate incumbent Saxby Chambliss means that the Democrats will not have a flibibuster-proof majority of 60 in the Senate. The Democrats now hold 58 of the 100 senate seats. The Minnesota senate race is still undecided. [The Guardian]

* A Massachusetts couple’s suit over their public school’s response to their five-year old’s complaint of sexual harassment on her school bus has raised some interesting constitutional questions for the U.S. Supreme Court. [New York Times]

* The SCOTUS also sent a murder case back to the Ninth Circuit for reconsideration. The case involved a 16-year-old robber who killed a gas station attendant in a robbery that garnered him $150. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* For love of the law…and video games. A 26-year-old lawyer at Sheppard Mullin manages a 20-person team that deal with mergers, licensing contracts, and other legal transactions that fuel the game industry. Imagine how fun it would be to crash one of their office parties — there is nothing sexier than a lawyer who loves video games. [Los Angeles Times]

Morning Docket 11.21.08

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Muskasey alert and talking.JPG* Mukasey is going to be okay. He’s telling jokes and talking to the President. A GW doctor said “”The attorney general is conscious, conversant and alert.” [CNN]

* Do you feel sorry for sex offenders? The California 4th district court does. They ruled that Jessica’s law, a law that prohibits sex offenders from living within 2,000 feel of a school or park constitutes “banishment under another name.” [San Francisco Chronicle]

* “A U.S.-triggered spate of global carmaker-bailout proposals may spark trade disputes over whether the Americans are unfairly trying to subsidize their industry or just making up for state aid foreign rivals already enjoy.”[Bloomberg]

* Meanwhile, the EU’s antittrust chief says the EU should resist an auto-industry bailout. [Bloomberg]

* On Thursday, a federal judge ordered the release of five Algerian prisoners from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. [Los Angeles Times]

* If you’ve been following Proposition 8, you may want to watch an upcoming gay marriage case that will be coming before the Iowa Supreme Court. [Iowa City Press Citizen]

‘Tighty-Whities’ Caption Contest Winner

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A clear winner emerged from the 2499 votes on ATL’s Tighty-Whities caption contest:

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“And now my junior partner has something he’d like to say…”

The man in the photo is David Remes, a partner at Covington & Burling — but not for long, as reported by the Legal Times. From the WSJ Law Blog:

David Remes, who made Law Blog headlines last week for removing his pants at a news conference in Yemen, is leaving the firm, according to the Legal Times, which reported the news over the weekend. Remes will reportedly devote himself exclusively to human rights litigation.

Last week, we reported that Remes (Columbia, Harvard Law), who’s representing 15 Yemeni detainees at Guantanamo Bay, removed his pants at a news conference in Yemen. Remes was attempting to demonstrate what he feels are the inappropriate body searches that detainees are undergoing several times per day.

“At the press conference in Yemen — this is a society where the rule of morality is so strict — I wanted to drive home the degree of humiliation that these searches cause by illustrating a typical body search,” Remes told the LB.

Biglaw doesn’t like seeing those kinds of briefs.

Remes Resigns from Covington & Burling [BLT]
David Remes, Who Dropped His Pants in Yemen, to Leave Covington [Wall Street Journal Law Blog]

Earlier: ‘Tighty-Whities’ Caption Contest Finalists

‘Tighty-Whities’ Caption Contest Finalists

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lawyer in white briefs attorney underwear.jpgWe’re currently running a caption contest for the photo at right. We’re not the only ones with an ongoing legally-themed caption contest. If one flips to the back of the current infamous New Yorker issue, the cartoon for their caption contest (Contest #153) is set in a courtroom. We’ll keep an eye on that contest, and issue an opinion on the finalists when they are announced.

We prefer not to give you the context for caption contest photos, but the background on this one is as exposed as the lawyer in the photo. It’s up on Yahoo! News, the WSJ Law Blog, and the ABA Journal, among other places. It got more publicity over the weekend, with the news that David Remes, the pants-dropping partner in the picture, is leaving Covington & Burling (as reported by the Legal Times; see also the WSJ, via New York magazine).

We’re pushing on with the contest, since we had over 200 entries. These are our finalists:

A. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief…”
B. “Million Dollar Pants Lawsuit: Part 2″
C. “Ya know, John, I think the school board had something else in mind when they asked for an assembly on the how the penal system works.”
D. “Having been found guilty of malpractice, the lawyer literally had his pants sued off.”
E. “Another unsuccessful effort to get ‘junk’ science before the jury.”
F. “And now my junior partner has something he’d like to say…”
G. “[Y]our honor, i thought you said you wanted to take a closer look at the briefs.”
H. “You think that jury was hung?”
I. “Counsel, the phrase ‘may it please the court’ is NOT a literal request.”
J. “Other Van Winkle Law Firm partners have expressed concern that Joe represented his favorite extracurricular activity a little too enthusiastically in his ‘Meet Joe’ bio photo.”

Earlier: ATL Caption Contest: Tighty-Whities

The Guantanamo Undies: Guess We’ll Never Know

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Under Armour Under Armor underwear briefs Guantanamo Bay Above the Law blog.jpgHere’s a quick follow-up to our prior coverage of the mysterious Under Armour briefs that somehow made their way into the hands, and onto the loins, of Guantanamo Bay detainees. From Reuters:

The U.S. military has ended an inquiry into who smuggled unauthorized underwear and a bathing suit to two prisoners at Guantanamo Bay without learning the source of the contraband skivvies, an attorney said on Wednesday.

The investigators concluded more vigilance was needed to prevent contraband from entering the camp that holds 330 suspected al Qaeda operatives, said Capt. Pat McCarthy, the military’s chief lawyer for the detention operation at Guantanamo.

Is the inability to solve the Riddle of the Briefs a sad commentary on the state of military intelligence? Or is this perhaps a mystery that they didn’t want to be solved?
Mystery underwear stymies Guantanamo investigators [Reuters]
Earlier: Guantanamo Bay Perk Watch: Under Armor Briefs!

Guantanamo Bay Perk Watch: Under Armor Briefs!

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Under Armour Under Armor underwear briefs Guantanamo Bay Above the Law blog.jpgLife for detainees at Guantanamo Bay, while difficult, isn’t 100 percent grim. From yesterday’s Washington Post:

Undergarments from Under Armour, the sports apparel line, offer “all-day performance, delivered in a lightweight compression fit,” at least according to the company’ s promotional material. While “unprecedented” in its ability to deliver comfort, Under Armour underwear is not standard issue for detainees at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. So when two men in detention there were found to possess the contraband briefs, the Navy attorney contacted their attorneys. One of the detainees in question is Shaker Aamer, whose release the British government wrote to request from Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in August.

But before turning to the larger question of whether Aamer will stay or go, there’s the question of what he’s wearing. And as the recent exchange between the Navy lawyer and Aamer’s attorney Clive Stafford Smith illustrates, in the legal wrangling over detention, even details on intimates can lead to contentious debate…

You read excerpts from the hilarious correspondence, which showcase the dry British wit of Clive Stafford-Smith, over here.
But for those of you who like to look at original documents — and we know that, since you’re mostly lawyers, you love yourselves some primary docs — we’re pleased to present the complete correspondence (with original letterhead, signatures, etc.). Just click here (PDF). Enjoy!
Correspondence Between Staff Judge Advocate, U.S. Navy, and Clive A. Stafford-Smith [PDF]
An Incursion of Briefs at Guantanamo [Washington Post]

The Supreme Court’s Gitmo Fake-Out

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Supreme Court 6 Above the Law blog.JPGAfter yesterday, we thought they were all done for the Term. We thought wrong.
Some notable news from the Supreme Court today. Lyle Denniston of the invaluable SCOTUSblog reports:

In a startling turn of events in the legal combat over the war on terrorism, the Supreme Court on Friday agreed to reconsider the appeals in the Guantanamo Bay detainee cases. It vacated its April 2 order denying review of the two packets of cases. The Court then granted review, consolidated the cases, and said they would be heard in a one-hour argument in the new Term starting Oct. 1.

Such a switch by the Court — from denial to rehearing and new argument and decision — may not have occurred since 1947, in Hickman v. Taylor, 329 U.S. 495, legal sources said Friday.

So they’ve changed their mind about a cert grant for the first time in 60 years. What a neat little factoid!
But hey, being a Supreme Court justice means being able to change your mind. And never having to say you’re sorry.
(For more on the likely import of this change of heart, see Orin Kerr.)
Court switches, will hear detainee cases [SCOTUSblog]
Supreme Court Agrees to Take Guantanamo Bay Cases [Volokh Conspiracy]

Morning Docket: 03.30.07

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* SCOTUS considers whether to open new Gitmo appeals. [New York Times]
* Meanwhile, Secretary of Defense Gates calls for Gitmo closure. [CNN]
* Spears and Federline have reached a divorce settlement, so no crazy litigation for now. [MSNBC]
* Sorority that allegedly kicked out unattractive members sues University for totally being not cool about it. [AP via Dispatch]
Have a good weekend, and Go Buckeyes!

Non-Sequiturs: 03.19.07

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* Unlike batting averages, Zagat numbers are not exactly accurate to begin with. And don’t you wonder who fills out those surveys anyway? [New York Post]
* You defile it, you buy it. [Morning Call]
* While this does merit more than a Non-Sequitur, a show of hands of those who really care about Phil Spector or his rip-off of William Burroughs’s “William Tell” defense. [Reuters via Yahoo! News]
* Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go… [Jurist]

Morning Docket: 02.27.07

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Anna Nicole Smith 3 Anna Nicole Smith photo photograph pic picture Above the Law Above the Law.JPG* Southern Poverty Law Center’s getting it done. [CNN]
* NLJ reports that Camp 6 at Gitmo shows little improvement for cleared prisoners. [Law.com]
* Bobby Brown has to stay downtown (until he throws down about nineteen thou’). [CNN]
* Barry Bonds won’t cooperate in steroids investigation. [Sportsline]
* Anna Nicole Smith’s mom appeals. [CNN]