Fact: Eliot Spitzer had sex with prostitutes.
Fact: Eliot Spitzer is a hypocrite.
Fact: David Paterson has been a horrible Governor.
Conclusion: Having sex with prostitutes and being a total hypocrite isn’t the worst thing in the world?

And so, the rehabilitation of Eliot Spitzer continues. He’s on T.V., he’s writing, he’s teaching a class. I think the lesson here is supposed to be that a man’s inability to keep it in his pants doesn’t mean that he can’t be a useful voice about the economic crisis and regulatory reform.

So it’s not entirely surprising that Spitzer has been invited to speak at Harvard University by HLS professor Lawrence Lessig. The ABA Journal reports on the focus of the talk:

Spitzer’s lecture apparently will focus on law and policy: It is titled “From Ayn Rand to Ken Feinberg—How Quickly the Paradigm Shifts. What Should Be the Rationale for Government Participation in the Market?” according to a Harvard website listing for the free public talk.

Fair enough, but Professor Lessig is the director of Harvard’s Edmond J. Safra Foundation Center for Ethics. And it’s the Center for Ethics that will be hosting the event.

Ethics + Eliot = Ewww.

You know things are off when a pimp is writing to a Harvard Law School professor to complain. That is precisely what is happening here, according to the Daily News. Details after the jump.

Warning: The penis-to-vagina ratio in this week’s column is quite high. If you’re already on the mailing list for Rick Santorum 2012, you may want to avert your eyes — or go make fun of sissy-boy John Kerry for helping plan his daughter’s wedding.

Our fabulous finalist couples:

1. Sebastian Dungan and Lavi Soloway

2. Adam Levine and Janson Wu

3. Alisha Bhagat and Mark Egerman

Read more about these newlyweds, after the jump.

There has been quite a bit of coverage on how the recession is affecting the august Harvard University. For example, the undergraduates aren’t getting hot breakfast anymore.

Meanwhile, over at Harvard Law School, things have gotten so bad that HLS is looking to sell off some naming rights to wealthy donors. Tax Prof Blog reports:

The following list provides a representative sample of named gift opportunities. In addition, several naming opportunities exist in the Law School’s Northwest Corner building project currently under construction.

* $25,000,000: International Graduate Student Fellowship Program, The Low Income Protection Plan Program
* $10,000,000: The Harvard Law Library Reading Room, Research Program (Academic/Clinical)
* $5,000,000: Combined Professorship and Research Fund
* $4,000,000: Professorship
* $2,000,000: Visiting Professorship
* $1,000,000: Research Fund
* $250,000: Scholarship/Fellowship Fund
* $100,000: Financial Aid Fund
* $10,000: Revolving Loan Fund

Remember, Harvard is only called “Harvard” because John Harvard had a nice library.

Maybe graduates of Harvard Business School can still afford to make lavish $25,000,000 gifts; alas, graduates of Harvard Law School probably don’t have that kind of flow anymore. But why should they be iced out of the naming game?

After the jump, let me suggest some low-cost naming rights that HLS could sell.

Commenters often complain that we feature too many Biglaw associates in this space — uninspiring young people who’ve drifted through college and law school and are now drones at soulless firms. We’re delighted that this week, Biglaw associates make up only one-third of our couples. Rounding out the field are a soulless-drone partner and a former associate who abandoned Biglaw for the classic refuge of the disillusioned JD: law teaching. Enjoy this foray into the unexpected!

Our couples:

1. Caroline Dougherty and Marc Packer

2. Patricia Wencelblat and Richard Cooper

3. Tania Tetlow and Gordon Stewart

Get the details on these newlyweds and vote for your favorite couple, after the jump.

The stalk-and-eventually-marry-your-doorman phenomenon continues to enthrall the NYT weddings editors. This week they shine the spotlight on yet another bride — this time a producer at CNN — who found love in the lobby. LEWW encourages female Biglaw associates to embrace this trend. You’re in and out of office buildings all day, ladies — open your eyes to the lusciousness perched behind those security desks!

And now, this week’s finalist couples:

1. Monique Mendez and Graham O’Donoghue

2. Ashlee Conley and Andrew Veit

3. Anne Claiborne and Andrew Grotto

Read all about these newlyweds, after the jump.

Law firm mass emails can be a bitter pill to swallow. Nobody wants to be publicly accused of, say, taking craps on the bathroom floor. In that instance, a simple multiple-choice survey on bathroom habits followed by a marksmanship competition would have sufficed. One legal administrator recently learned the hard way that sending inflammatory mass emails is rarely the route to popularity or success. Or is it?

Jordan Reid (née Berkow) is your typical NYC born and bred jerkhat. She went to Dalton private school and then moved on to Harvard, where she got her undergrad degree in cognitive neuroscience. (Ed. note: that’s in the psychology department, nice try.)

Perhaps prompted by her voice coach and by a successful run in a summer camp production of “The Pajama Game,” Jordan went to L.A. to seek fame and fortune. After a few small roles and the requisite appearance on Law & Order, she abandoned ship and returned to NYC, where her she lived in an apartment partially paid for by her parents. As a matter of course, her mom, who worked in a law firm, hooked her up with a job as a legal administrator there. It’s not clear exactly where she worked, but Jordan describes the firm as “a fairly depressing” place, where she sobbed at her desk. If this sounds like your office, join the club email us at tips.

A flip-flop and an email, after the jump.

The Harvard Law Record reports that HLS will be cutting back on perks:

On September 4, an email by Dean of Students Ellen Cosgrove detailed the reduction in perks students would begin to notice at HLS, where, under the tenure of former Dean (and now Solicitor General) Elena Kagan ‘86, free food for events and even some classes had become common, free coffee abounded from morning until noon, and a logo-emblazoned skating rink animated Jarvis Field during the cold winter months.

The lifestyle changes students face are not stark: the free coffee has not been completely cut, as was rumored, but will be served in fewer locations, and is expected to last only until 10:15. A survey later sent to the student body by Cosgrove asked whether students would share in cost-cutting efforts by providing their own mugs rather than relying on the paper cups the school now buys. Likewise, free food will be rarer at events, and the hours of the dining facilities at Harkness Commons will be reduced depending on demand.

Everybody needs to tighten their belts during the recession. And this new “only limited free coffee” policy should better prepare Harvard Law grads for the rough and tumble employment environment that they’ll face after graduation.

Conference cutbacks are on the way too.

Oh, how times have changed. Back in May 2008, Massachusetts was contemplating an excise tax on university endowments. This proposed tax law change would have imposed a 2.5% annual assessment on Massachusetts colleges with endowments over $1 billion. (Cough cough, Harvard.)

Alas, Harvard doesn’t need any help from the government when it comes to dissipating its endowment. For the fiscal year ended in June, it’s looking at a decline in its endowment of about 30 percent.

The university — home to the legendary Harvard Law School, arguably the nation’s finest law school — isn’t taking these losses sitting down. Instead, it’s bringing in new talent to help manage its money.

Read more, and discuss, over at Dealbreaker.

He Was Wearing My Harvard Tie. Can You Believe It? [Dealbreaker]

What’s better than a Boston cop emailing a newspaper specifically to call a black man a “banana eating jungle monkey”? Well when that same cop turns around and sues the police department for a civil rights violation. The Boston Globe reports:

Justin Barrett, the Boston police officer suspended from the force for his e-mail likening Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr., to a “banana-eating jungle monkey,” has filed a lawsuit against the Police Department, police commissioner, and mayor, saying the city violated his civil and due process rights.

You know what would make this story perfect? If the cop who used racist slurs against Henry Louis Gates Jr. turned around and claimed intentional infliction of emotion distress:

The 18-page lawsuit accuses the three parties of “conspiring to intentionally inflict emotional distress and conspiring to intentionally interfere with the property rights, due process rights, and civil rights of the plaintiff.”

I. Just. Love. America.

Let me gather myself after the jump.

At a press conference today, Lucia Whalen spoke out about her 9-1-1 call and her role in the Gatesgate fiasco.

She said that she supports the Cambridge police and respects Professor Gates. She’s happy that the police released the actual tapes of her call to the police.

She also clarified that she only spoke to Sergeant Crowley briefly at the scene. While she wouldn’t speak about the police report specifically, she indicated that she did not say the “black males … with backpacks” line that was in Crowley’s police report.

As I said Monday, I feel bad for this woman. Her voice was shaking and she’s clearly been traumatized by the scrutiny of her actions. I totally apologize for jumping to conclusions about this woman based on the police report.

I just hope that Crowley feels bad for her too.

911 caller in Gates case speaks publicly [MSNBC.com]
Gatesgate: Let’s Go To The Audio Tape [True/Slant]

Earlier: Gatesgate: Caller Disputes the Police Report

The current online front page of the NYT weddings section is worth a click. The head blurb leads with “Despite their differences in age … ” underneath a picture of a 20-something bride embracing a “groom” who appears to be about nine years old. “Differences in age,” indeed. Somebody alert Morality in Media! (Of course, when you click on the link, you learn that the real groom is 40-something. Still yucky, but not illegal.)

Our spotlighted weddings this week feature couples who are well-matched not only in age, but in accomplishments. Here they are:

1. Robyn Maslynsky and Paul Goldschmid

2. Stacy Humes-Schulz and Matthew Frazier

3. Courtney Dankworth and Russell Capone Jr.

Read more about these couples, after the jump.

All the attention recently showered upon Harvard celebrity professor Henry Louis Gates since his arrest earlier this month has resulted in the discovery of tax problems at a foundation he created and oversees.

Read more and comment over at Going Concern.

Henry Louis Gates Can’t Catch a Break [Going Concern]

The Cabbed Caller, who reported Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. to the police, now disputes the police report about what she told them in her 9-1-1 call. Instead, the caller — who has now been repeatedly identified as Lucia Whalen — contends that she did not know the race of the two people attempting to enter the house. According to the Boston Globe:

Lucia Whalen, saw the backs of both men and did not know their race when she called 911, said Wendy J. Murphy, a Boston lawyer from New England School of Law. Whalen phoned police, Murphy said, because she was aware of recent break-ins in the area.

Well, I guess I was wrong. On Friday, I questioned whether or not the woman acted appropriately in sicking the Cambridge police on Professor Gates while he was attempting to enter his house. Previously, I questioned whether Gates’s blackness prevented this woman from assessing the situation rationally.

Assuming the woman is telling the truth, then you can’t really fault her. You can fault the Cambridge police, for injecting race into a call where race wasn’t even mentioned.

More from Whalen’s side of the story, plus the 9-1-1 tape, after the jump.

Elie here. On Wednesday, I took a closer look at the woman who called the Cambridge police on Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. I wondered if she could be held liable under a good Samaritan statute, and asked if we should hold good Samaritans to a higher standard.

Most readers felt that the woman was beyond reproach. She saw “two black males with backpacks” attempting to enter a house, and most people — including Professor Gates and President Obama — felt she acted appropriately when she called the police.

Legal Blog Watch has published a great analysis suggesting that Gates’s arrest was unwarranted. Even if you take the police officer’s word about what happened inside the house, it was unlikely that a prosecution against Gates for disorderly conduct could have survived (at least based on the evidence we have now; there are rumors of tapes).

I understand that I am hanging far out on a thin limb, but I remain far from convinced that the woman acted appropriately. I do think, hypothetically, that there is a cognizable legal claim Professor Gates could have against the woman who turned him in. Here is the applicable Massachusetts “good Samaritan” statute:

Chapter 258C: Section 13. “Good Samaritans”; liability

Section 13. No person who, in good faith, provides or obtains, or attempts to provide or obtain, assistance for a victim of a crime as defined in section one, shall be liable in a civil suit for damages as a result of any acts or omissions in providing or obtaining, or attempting to provide or obtain, such assistance unless such acts or omissions constitute willful, wanton or reckless conduct.

On Wednesday, I suggested that the standard for liability was reasonableness, as opposed to “willful, wanton or reckless conduct.” Obviously, a recklessness standard is much more difficult to prove.

But after the jump, I make my case. And then Mr. David Lat slaps me upside the head makes his case … that I need to be Rule 11-ed right back to Tolerance 101.

This morning, we mentioned that Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. talked to the Washington Post about his arrest (the charges have already been dropped). But there is a lot of chatter around the web about this instance of racial profiling — or honest mistake, depending on your point of view.

Writing for the Daily Beast, Professor Gates’s daughter, Elizabeth Gates, conducted an interview with her father.

Meanwhile, Touré — who you might recognize from the wall-to-wall Michael Jackson coverage — channels Malcolm X when he asks, “What do you call a black man with a Ph.D.?”

Of course, I have my own take. But instead of focusing on the arresting police officers, I’m interested in the white lady who called the cops in the first place, and whether she’d be found liable under various theories of good Samaritan laws. I don’t think she met the “reasonable person” standard, but I’m also the guy who thought the person who took Madlyn Primoff’s children to an ice cream shop in the Kaye Scholer Mommy of the Day case was an idiot. At least I’m consistent.

Should we hold so-called “good Samaritans” to a higher standard?

Gatesgate: Racism 101 [True/Slant]
My Daddy, the Jailbird [Daily Beast]
Skip’s Racist Wakeup Call [Daily Beast]
Scholar Says Arrest Will Lead Him To Explore Race in Criminal Justice [Washington Post]

Earlier: Mommy of the Day Madlyn Primoff Gets Conditional Discharge

Last week, prominent African-American studies scholar Henry Louis Gates, Jr. was arrested for disorderly conduct after police confronted him for trying to break into his own home. There are accusations of racial profiling. Harvard Law School professor Charles Olgetree is representing Gates. The media are all over the story; even TMZ is covering it (and picking up on “yo’ mama” jokes from the police report). We’ve dubbed it Gatesgate,.and we gave you a full write-up of the incident this morning.

Charles Ogletree has prepared a statement about the incident and released it to The Root, a website co-founded by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Not surprisingly, his account sounds a bit different from the police report. Here’s an excerpt:

As Professor Gates followed the officer to his own front door, he was astonished to see several police officers gathered on his front porch. Professor Gates asked the officer’s colleagues for his name and badge number. As Professor Gates stepped onto his front porch, the officer who had been inside and who had examined his identification, said to him, “Thank you for accommodating my earlier request,” and then placed Professor Gates under arrest. He was handcuffed on his own front porch.

Professor Gates was taken to the Cambridge Police Station where he remained for approximately 4 hours before being released that evening.

No overt aggression, but apparently plenty of passive aggression from the officer.

Read in full at The Root.

UPDATE (12:30 p.m.): The AP reports that the disorderly conduct charge against Gates has been dropped:

The city of Cambridge issued a statement saying the arrest “was regrettable and unfortunate” and police and Gates agreed that dropping the charge was a just resolution.

“This incident should not be viewed as one that demeans the character and reputation of professor Gates or the character of the Cambridge Police Department,” the statement said.

Too late for that.

Lawyer’s Statement on the Arrest of Henry Louis Gates Jr. [The Root]
Charges dropped against black Harvard scholar [Associated Press]
WORD OF THE DAY: Gatesgate [Transracial]

Earlier: The Gatesgate Arrest Scandal: Harvard Law Prof Charles Ogletree to Represent

We mentioned Gatesgate yesterday in Non-Sequiturs. Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., a prominent African-American studies scholar, was arrested on Thursday after a neighbor called police to report that Gates was trying to break into his own home.

The New York Times says Gates was returning from a trip to China, and that his door was jammed. He forced the door open with the help of a cab driver.

According to the police report [pdf], this led a woman passing by to call the police because she saw “two black males with backpacks… trying to force entry” into Gates’s home. At least the woman was a vigilant neighbor, even if she can’t recognize Henry Louis Gates.

When a police officer arrived, said he was investigating a break-in, and asked Gates to step outside, Gates was understandably offended. From the NYT:

Gates accused the investigating officer of being a racist and told him he had “no idea who he was messing with,” the report said.

Gates told the officer that he was being targeted because “I’m a black man in America.”

Frustrated, Gates initially refused to hand over his ID, but eventually relented, providing his Massachusetts driver’s license and his Harvard identification card. Gates had a few choice comments for the officers, including a yo’ mama joke.

Rejoice, wedding fans! We have some compelling mid-summer material for you this week: Wachtell, SCOTUS, lesbians, French nobility — read on for the details on all of that and more, as reported in the New York Times and filtered by us.

Our finalist couples:

1. Rebecca Gutner and Rodman Forter Jr.

2. Laura Hammond and Christopher Hemphill

3. Laure de Vulpillières and Vanessa Dillen

Admire these couples’ achievements, after the jump.

LEWW often hears complaints about the elitism and snobbery of the NYT’s wedding coverage (and, by extension, our coverage of the coverage). “What about all the couples who didn’t meet at Harvard?” critics cry.

In response, we’d like to point you to this Vows column from mid-June. Roughly twice a year, the NYT covers the wedding of what it presumably considers “average Americans,” seeking thereby to demonstrate that its weddings sections isn’t only for privileged Ivy Leaguers and their wealthy parents. This one, for example, features a pregnant bride and at least one electronic monitoring bracelet. Enjoy.

And now, this week’s legal eagle finalist couples (six people, six Harvard degrees, zero ankle bracelets):

1. Katherine Zeisel and Joshua Salzman

2. Maria Gambale and Zachary Taylor

3. Karen Milkosky and Patrick Curran

Check out these couples’ résumés and photos, after the jump.

Gentleman, how emasculated would you feel if your future father-in-law shuttled your bride down the aisle, and then, instead of pecking her on the cheek and handing her over, actually turned around and performed the wedding ceremony? Talk about control issues. That’s exactly what this groom endured last Sunday, as he was married by his father-in-law, United States Federal District Judge Jed S. Rakoff.

The Rakoff wedding didn’t make our final three. Neither did a couple of lesbian unions, a WGWAG, and several other worthy contenders. Here are the three who made the finals:

1. Devon Quasha and Jeffrey Thorn

2. Saralisa Brau and William Van Horne

3. Linda Cho and James Brennan

More about these impressive legal-eagle newlyweds, after the jump.