Hotties

This is why we shouldn’t let people under the age of 18 speak in public. Ever.

The new Miss America, Teresa Scanlan, is just 17 years old. Why we live in a society that regularly parades minors out in public to be ogled (whether for their beauty or dunking prowess or whatever) is a subject for another blog post.

As you know, beauty pageant winners are often asked about their life ambitions — as if staying “off the pole” wouldn’t be a major accomplishment in itself. Scanlan’s ambitions are particularly funny, more like the stuff you’d expect to hear from a 7-year-old girl instead of a young woman of 17.

Under normal circumstances, the public wouldn’t be a party to these particular ramblings. But since her parents decided to allow Scanlan to be thrust into the public spotlight, everybody gets to chuckle…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Miss America 2011 Wants a Law Degree, and Then an Appointment to SCOTUS, and Then Election to POTUS”

Being a federal prosecutor is a great legal job, but it has its downsides. One of them, at least for me, was the anonymity. In your work as an assistant U.S. attorney, it’s not about you; it’s about the merits of the cases, and seeing that justice is done. That’s public-spirited and all, but it’s not very fabulous (at least not to a shameless attention-seeker like myself).

Given the relative anonymity of being an AUSA, it’s not normal for the New York Post to cover the hiring of any single one. But Tali Farhadian, who’s joining the U.S. Attorney’s Office in the Eastern District of New York (Brooklyn), isn’t your normal AUSA.

How many federal prosecutors are as brilliant, as beautiful, and as filthy rich as Farhadian? And how many are as controversial?

Let’s learn why this lush Persian beauty is so celebrated in some quarters, and so loathed in others. And see some photos, too…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Musical Chairs: A Brooklyn-Bound Beauty”

In today’s New York Times, there’s an interesting profile of Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, who replaced Senatrix Hillary Clinton in the U.S. Senate. To be honest, despite my weakness for high-powered women with gold-plated credentials — Gillibrand’s résumé features Dartmouth, UCLA Law, a Second Circuit clerkship, Davis Polk, and Boies Schiller (where she was a partner) — I’m not a huge Gillibrand fan.

If you’ve ever heard Gillibrand speak, you can understand why her congressional peers nicknamed her Tracy Flick. She sounds like a super-perky high school president, not a United States Senator. She has no gravitas. She occupies the Senate seat once held by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, but Kirsten Gillibrand is not fit to kneel down and remove Hillary’s kitten heels.

Anyway, enough ranting. The NYT profile of Gillibrand, despite its occasionally fawning tone, is worth reading, due to some fun tidbits about Gilliband’s stint as an associate at Davis Polk….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Kirsten Gillibrand: ‘This One Time, at Band Camp Davis Polk…’”

This experience has been both profound and humbling. I have been able to reflect on my relationship with the universe and despite the physical incarceration of the past year, it has been incredibly emancipating for all other aspects of my being. Everything I have learned, seen, and lived I regard as invaluable in the journey of my life. I embrace this entire experience as a necessary one in the fulfillment of my future and destiny.

Kumari Fulbright, Arizona law student and beauty queen turned convicted felon, in a letter to Judge Michael Miller (who sentenced her last week).

Brandy Kuentzel, laid-off K&E lawyer turned reality TV star.

Apologies for this very belated coverage of the season finale of The Apprentice, which aired last week. Alas, no member of Team ATL — not even Marin, our resident reality TV addict — actually watched the show. The final episode was a bit like the proverbial tree falling in the forest without anyone around to hear it.

But it seems numerous ATL readers tuned in, even though ratings for the show are down 75 percent since the premiere season. So here’s a post, triggered by your many email pleas for coverage.

We extend warm congratulations to Brandy Kuentzel, the Chicago Law alumna and laid-off Kirkland & Ellis associate who emerged victorious in the reality TV competition. In the finale, Kuentzel defeated a fellow lawyer, Clint — a 40-year-old SMU Law grad described in his NBC bio as “living off of credit” — for the opportunity to work for Donald Trump.

One Brandy fan gave us some background on her: “She went to University of Chicago, started at Kirkland SF as transactional associate. After she got laid off, she started a mobile truck cupcake business.” (Digression: Why is driving a cupcake truck such a popular fallback option for lawyers? See also Kate Carrara, of Philadelphia, and Lev Ekster, of New York.)

Continued our tipster: “Brandy has an insane background story. She’s from Alaska, and moved out at an early age to self-finance her education, after graduating as valedictorian of her high school. Oh, and she is insanely hot. Google her.”

As you can see from her photo, Brandy is most definitely a hottie. But, interestingly enough, Brandy Kuentzel wasn’t quite as smoking hot back in her law firm days….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Congrats to Brandy Kuentzel, Laid-Off Kirkland Lawyer Turned Apprentice Winner”

When we last discussed Kumari Fulbright, the Arizona beauty queen and law student turned felon, we mentioned that she was going to be sentenced in early 2011 for her role in the kidnapping and torture of her ex-boyfriend. Well, it looks like Christmas came early for Kumari — her sentencing hearing took place yesterday.

Fulbright was sentenced to two years in prison and six years of probation. She also has to pay $15,000 in restitution. The sentence itself wasn’t a surprise, since it was consistent with the plea agreement we previously mentioned.

Far more shocking was the truly hideous hairstyle that Kumari sported at sentencing….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Sentencing of Miss Kumari Fulbright”

More fun than document review?

I’m surprised we’re not seeing more of this. As TSA continues to scan and/or feel-up everybody who gets on a plane, raising questions under the Fourth Amendment, an Oklahoman woman stripped down to her underwear to prove a point.

According to a report by News 9 – Oklahoma, Dr. Tammy Banovac, 52, arrived at the Oklahoma City airport wearing an overcoat and in a wheelchair. When she got to security, she removed the coat, revealing her curvaceous figure — clad in nothing but a black bra and panties. She refused to go through the metal detector, so she had to be subjected to a pat-down.

Is there video? Would I be posting this if there wasn’t?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Slightly Crazy Blonde Disrobes for TSA”

Kirsten Gillibrand, junior Senator from NY and purported MILF

* This “Kirsten Gillibrand as MILF” thing makes me vaguely uncomfortable. She’s blond. Okay. And…? I’m not sure she is/was attractive enough to work at the hottie haven of Davis Polk, much less be in Vogue. [Law Shucks]

* As I tried to explain on Twitter, going shooting with Antonin Scalia sounds like a bad idea if you are a new, liberal justice. [Gawker]

* The Ninth Circuit panel reviewing Arizona’s immigration law doesn’t look very friendly to those who hate Mexicans. [Politico]

* Avoiding the “of counsel” no man’s land. [Technolawyer]

* Woman contemplates paying off $45K dental bill with a positive blog post, but then changes her mind and gets sued. If you ever see me writing a post glorifying Harvard Law School, now you know why. [ABA Journal]

* The So You Want to Go to Law School video, which we posted about ages ago (so no need to send it to us), continues to make the rounds. Now it’s the highlight of this week’s excellent Blawg Review. [An Associate's Mind via Blawg Review]

* Professor Eric Goldman has an update on the Lara Jade Coton case. Congrats to Lara Jade and her lawyer, Richard Harrison. [Technology & Marketing Law Blog]

Cosmo's Most Eligible Bachelors

Objectifying men is hot right now. The Duke F**k List, recent Duke grad Karen Owen’s candid appraisal of the various men she slept with, is burning up the internet. Here at Above the Law, we’re getting a ton of traffic to a silly little post about some hot male ass in Chicago.

This seems like good timing, then, for the arrival of Cosmopolitan magazine’s Bachelor of the Year contest. We learned about the competition, in which readers vote for their favorite from 51 bachelors (50 states + D.C.), via Going Concern (our sister site, until recently).

Caleb Newquist of Going Concern highlighted Carl Koenemann, an aspiring accountant who looks great with his shirt off. But the bachelors up for bids also include three legal eagles: two law students, and one practicing lawyer.

Perhaps you’ve met one or more of these hunks. Let’s get to know them a little better (and check out some shirtless pics), shall we?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Cosmo’s Bachelor of the Year Contest — With Hot Law Students and Lawyers”

So, where’s it at?

Which firm is harboring the most luscious buttocks in all of Biglaw?

Might it be yours?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Best Butt in Biglaw?”

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