Immigration

When in need of a pic of a T.V. cheerleader, am I right to go with Minka Kelly over Hayden Panettiere? Can we get some kind of ruling on this?

* Is it possible that in South Dakota you have to go through a shorter waiting period to buy a gun and shoot someone who is already alive than you have to go through in order to have an abortion? Could somebody check on that? [MSNBC]

* Did you see this chart showing that law professors make more than all other professors at the college level? I think I forgot to mention it because when my brain sees such horrible atrocities it enacts self-defense protocols and deletes the knowledge from my… Did you see this chart showing that law professors… [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Same-sex couple gets deportation put on hold to pursue marriage-based immigration case. I think we’re all safer when Homeland Security isn’t run by Leviticus. [Stop the Deportations]

* If cheerleading were a real sport, this lawsuit might be really interesting. [Jezebel]

* If you think our coolest law firm bracket is dorky (don’t forget, voting ends tonight at midnight), you should check out what the bankruptcy people at Weil are up to. [Bankruptcy Blog]

* Once you get off the legal treadmill, do you ever have the urge to go back? “… That’s pride f**king with you. F**k pride.” [Law and More]

* If you think about it, pay raises should really come in the spring, when everything is new and happy, instead of the middle of winter, when everything is cold and dead. [What About Clients?]

* An obituary for Warren Christopher, former O’Melveny partner (and secretary of state, too). [Huffington Post]

Lindsay Lohan

* Obama has created an indefinite detention system for prisoners held at Guantanamo Bay. Because he’s too soft on terrorism to make it definite. [Washington Post]

* Utah’s new immigration laws will create a legal storm. El Niño! Spanish for The… Niño! [USA Today]

* Lilo finally starred in another movie, and former wet poodle perm enthusiast Marcia Clark is here to break it down for you. [Entertainment Tonight News]

* Hiring partners have entered the U.S. News rankings fray. Number 1? Yep, Cooley. [U.S. News & World Report]

Charlie Sheen

* Some New Yorkers are suing over a bike lane in Brooklyn. Four wheels good, two wheels bad! [New York Times]

* “Pow! Appeals court upholds comic con’s guilty plea.” [New York Post]

* Charlie Sheen’s attorney isn’t wasting any time fighting Tiger Blood’s dismissal from that show he starred in with Duckie and the lumpy kid. [Hollywood Reporter; New York City Employment Lawyer]

* Yesterday, the Supreme Court agreed to decide whether Congress may take works out of the public domain and slap a copyright on them. I’m never going to fill this Zune up if I can’t score some free Stravinsky. [Wired News]

Julian Assange

* A British court ruled that Julian Assange should be extradited to Sweden. [Reuters]

* Governor Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii signed into law a bill legalizing same-sex civil unions. Men, barbecue, I like you, I like you too dawg, let’s get… civil unioned? [Honolulu Star-Advertiser]

* Seems like Betty Boop was passed around like a two-bit whore. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Lindsay! Lindsay Lohan! Who are you wearing? [Entertainment Weekly]

Lindsay Lohan

* More than 100 law professors are lobbying Congress to apply an ethics code to the Supreme Court. In related news, Clarence Thomas continues to troll the f**k out of a bunch of law professors. [ABA Journal]

* Arizona might have a host of new anti-immigration laws. The state hasn’t been this welcoming since The Brothers Brothers were working for their tourism commission. [New York Times]

* “Teachers accused of steamy lesbian romp fire back at city with $2M suit.” [New York Post]


* A “barroom brawl” between law firm partners results in one partner leaving the firm. WEAK. Men should be able to beat the crap out of each other, shake hands when they’re finished, and still be able to do business together. [ABA Journal]

* A public defender got a TRO against a judge who allegedly slammed her to the ground. WEAK. Women should be able to get body slammed by enraged judges, receive treatment for their injuries, and go back to work without needing a TRO. (Dude, that’s the last time I try this “intellectual consistency” BS; it just makes me sound stupid.) [Penn Live]

* Why should I even try to be intellectually consistent when South Dakotans are so addled that they can’t see the flaw with caring about the sanctity of human life so much that they’re willing to kill innocent people to protect it? [Mother Jones]

* Thankfully we did not deport one member of a loving couple on Valentine’s Day. [Metro Weekly via Stop the Deportations]

* According to a recent survey, way too many of you are hooking up with people you work with. When two of you end up plastered all over ATL, go on and cry in your coffee, but don’t come bitching to me. [Vault]

* Protip for law profs: creating hypotheticals that involve killing your dean is probably not a good idea (even if it might be protected academic freedom). [Althouse]

* For those playing along at home, putting cocaine extract in your soft drink is okay. But putting alcohol in your soft drinks constitutes a grave danger to young people all across the country. [Gizmodo]

* A Turkish company wins the public vote to make the new yellow cab for New York City. They’re the only ones where every cab will be handicap accessible. You like free markets? Then don’t complain when young Turks are just better. [Alt Transport]

* Between the adventures of the City of Austin’s solid waste department and what’s going on in Fort Wayne now, you wonder how long it will take old people to figure out that letting “the internet” name things is not a very good idea. [Feedback Fort Wayne]

* If the Muslim Brotherhood gains power in Egypt, they will impose sharia law. Just like Oklahoma! [ABC Online]

* Lindsay Lohan took to Twitter to announce that she “was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal.” Well, nature it is. [msnbc.com]

* Arizona is suing the federal government over the porous border. Mr. Obama, build us a wall! [Reuters]

* Barry Bonds, he of the enormous dome piece, had the number of felony charges against him dropped to five. Hauling that gargantuan cranium about. I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik. [ESPN]

* Mario will mediate the Madoff / Mets mess. [New York Post]

* How to fix the criminal justice system? I say gulags. Mostly because I like the word gulags. [The BLT via WSJ Law Blog]

* Hospitals have begun turning away job applicants who smoke. This guy thinks hospitals are acting like a bunch of weiners. [New York Times]

I’m not a constitutional scholar, and I didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn last night. But I really struggle to find the ambiguity in this line from the Fourteenth Amendment: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”

That statement seems very, very clear to me.

Of course, I’m not an unabashed racist. Maybe if I was I’d be able to be as intellectually dishonest and willfully ignorant as State Legislators for Legal Immigration, and have the gall to argue that this section of the 14th Amendment has been misinterpreted for 150 years.

Actually, check that. Even if I woke up in the middle of the night terrified that dirty foreigners were stealing my country, I’d grab a shovel and start digging a moat around this country before I fixed my mouth to argue utter tripe like what we’re hearing from the State Legislators for Legal Immigration.

In a world full of spurious legal arguments, theirs is truly one of the stupidest things you’re ever going to hear…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Born in the U.S.A. No Longer Good Enough for Republican Lawmakers”

Heat makes people crazy. But because Arizona refuses to cut the heat by putting up trees or building an air conditioned dome over the state like I had originally suggested, it has focused its temperature-induced rage on getting rid of illegal immigrants. You’ve no doubt read about the recently enacted Gestapo-flavored law which requires all immigrants to carry proper documentation and gives the Arizona police broad authority to detain individuals suspected of being in this country illegally. But did you know that Arizona hated immigrants at least as far back as 2007?

It’s true. Three years ago, Arizona enacted a law that allows the state to shut down businesses that hire illegal, undocumented workers. And just yesterday, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments about whether the law is preempted by federal immigration law:

Attorney Carter Phillips, representing business and civil rights groups that challenged the law, and Obama administration lawyer Neal Katyal argued the three-year-old Arizona law should be struck down for infringing on federal immigration powers.

Arizona Solicitor General Mary O’Grady defended the law as part of the state’s traditional police powers to regulate employer conduct. A comprehensive 1986 federal immigration law made an exception for licensing laws like the Arizona statute, she said.

Justice Scalia, backed up in spirit by mute wingman Thomas, appeared to defend the law during arguments. But why am I talking about immigration in Fame Brief, a column about celebrites?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fame Brief: Salma Hayek Brings Heat, Boobs to SCOTUS Immigration Debate”

People used to tell me, ‘Why go to college if you can’t get a real job when you graduate.’ If I had listened to those people, I wouldn’t have done anything with my life.

Luis Perez, the first undocumented immigrant to graduate from UCLA School of Law (and the subject of a recent profile in the Los Angeles Times).

I would make Mexican food and get some beer and have everyone over for dinner.

– Retired Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, explaining how she would achieve legislative consensus among state senators in Arizona, in remarks to Cardozo law students over the weekend.

Please hire us! We're Americans! Want to see our passports and birth certificates?

It’s that time of the year again: clerkship application season. Here is the requisite open thread for discussion, where you can trade news and gossip about which courts and judges are hiring, which ones are done, which clerkships are great, and which clerkships you’ll hate.

Pursuant to the 2010 Law Clerk Hiring Plan for federal judges, applications could be received last Tuesday, September 7. Today, September 13, is the first day when judges can contact applicants to schedule interviews. The calls were allowed to go out at 10 a.m. Eastern time (sorry, Californians). Interviews can be held and offers can be made starting on Thursday, September 16, at 8 a.m. Eastern time (again, our sympathies to Californians; but think of it like Christmas morning, when waking up early brings joyful news of a gift).

Word on the street is that the Plan is starting to break down, with an increasing number of judges, including some of the most prestigious and popular ones, hiring ahead of the deadlines. Getting federal judges to follow rules isn’t easy; they’re used to making the rules, not obeying them.

Furthermore, the Plan by its terms “does not cover applicants who have graduated from law school”; these applicants may be interviewed and hired by judges at any time. More and more judges are going down this path and hiring law school graduates rather than 3Ls, which (1) gives them clerks with more experience, either in practice or in another clerkship, and (2) allows the judges to avoid the mad scramble for talent under the Plan.

How competitive will the hunt for federal judicial clerkships be this year? Let’s discuss….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Clerkship Application Season: Open Thread
(And a tricky issue re: non-citizen law clerks.)”

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