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Elizabeth Wurtzel

* Elizabeth Wurtzel: “I am a lawyer. The first rule of law: All the promises will be broken. Attorneys could not be in business if people did not fail to do what they agreed to do all the time — and lawyers are very busy.” [Nerve.com]

* Laura Ingraham clerked for SCOTUS, so presumably she knows that Puerto Ricans are American citizens — right? [Media Matters]

* Chief Judge Alex Kozinski, known for zero tolerance of prosecutorial misconduct, has written the foreword to a new book on the subject. [Facebook]

* In addition to the one we mentioned yesterday, here’s another petition for the Obama Administration that’s aimed at addressing the student debt crisis. [WhiteHouse.gov]

* Thomson Reuters Concourse keeps getting bigger and better. [Thomson Reuters]

* Appellate law? In California? What’s not to like? Check out these job openings in the California SG’s office. [California Department of Justice; California Department of Justice]

* Want to know the backstory behind the awesome Jamie Casino Super Bowl ad? Keep reading….

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Is there really a value to recruiting home-grown associates based on 1L grades? Is there a negative connotation to not competing with the top-tier firms for law school talent? Can firms only fill their “real” needs by looking across the market for lawyers 3 or 4 years into their careers?

There are pros and cons to recruiting associates (and partners) through either method. Let’s take a look at how to build a law firm….

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Amanda Knox

* Quinn Emanuel got a pretty harsh benchslap from Judge Paul Grewal over its litigation strategy in the Apple / Samsung case, calling it “650 lawyers wide and one lawyer deep.” Sick burn, Judge. [Courthouse News Service]

* At Cardozo Law, Jordan Belfort’s former lawyer says that the movie Wolf of Wall Street “played down the sex and drugs.” Dear Lord, if that’s the case, Leo’s muse should be happy he’s alive. [DealBook / New York Times]

* “I’ve been around the block. And I’ve never seen an attorney general sanctioned.” Ahh, the rarest rose. Nevada’s AG was sanctioned for failing to provide evidence in a fraud case against a mortgage lender. [Forbes]

* Eighteen people were arrested for their alleged attempts to market and sell Super Bowl “party packs” to football fans. It’s pretty sick, but you’d got to admit that hookers and blow beat wings any day of the week. [Bloomberg]

* Law schools in the Southeast closed their doors because their states were “unequipped for dealing with the roadways.” Send them up here, we’ve got school when there’s a foot of snow. [National Law Journal]

* A recent grad of a “good school” wanted to know how to get a job, so she asked an advice columnist. Here are five of the suggested jobs she probably already applied to and was rejected from. [Fortune]

* The third time’s apparently the charm in Italy: Amanda Knox was convicted of murder, again. Foxy Knoxy must be pissed that her case has turned into an extradition question on an international law exam. [CNN]

Jodi Arias

* Which Supreme Court justices missed out on the State of the Union address last night? Three of the usual suspects (Scalia, Thomas, and Alito), plus Justice Sonia Sotomayor. RBG was there most of the time, except for nap time. [Legal Times]

* You’re doin’ fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma O.K.! The Tenth Circuit announced it’s going to fast-track Oklahoma’s same-sex marriage appeal, and it’ll be heard by the same panel of judges presiding over a very similar appeal from Utah. [News OK]

* The American Legal Institute just named Ricky Revesz, the former dean of NYU Law School, as its new director. He’ll be “clarifying, modernizing and improving the law,” just like he kind of / sort of did with NYU’s 3L curriculum, but not really. [National Law Journal]

* Law students, say hello to the Immigrant Justice Corps, a job opportunity brought to you by Chief Justice Robert Katzmann of the Second Circuit. Hey, the pay is pretty decent for public interest. [New York Times]

* The results of the latest Law School Survey of Student Engagement reveal to us 1Ls are morons. Seventy percent of them are thrilled with career services, but only 45% of 3Ls feel the same way. [WSJ Law Blog]

* She’s no George Zimmerman: Jodi Arias has a racked up a legal tab of more than $2 million, but because her artwork isn’t as hot as she is, the bill will be footed by Arizona taxpayers. [Associated Press]

Each year, U.S. News and World Report comes out with a ranking of the 100 best jobs in the nation, based on important factors like the number of expected openings, advancement opportunities, career fulfillment, and salary expectations. With criteria like that, it makes sense that each year, the job of “Lawyer” sinks lower and lower in the rankings.

For example, in 2013, U.S. News ranked Lawyer as No. 35 on its 100 Best Jobs ranking, and as No. 4 on its ranking of the “5 Dream Jobs That Aren’t So Dreamy.” Just one year later, in 2014, Lawyer isn’t even ranked in the top 50 of the U.S. News list. Being a lawyer is now a second-tier career. How embarrassing.

What’s even more embarrassing? The list of jobs that are supposedly better than being a lawyer. Why did you spend all of that money on a law degree when you could’ve just gone to beauty school?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The 2014 U.S. News Job Rankings: Being A Lawyer Is Worse Than Being A Nail Technician”

Law schools believe that if you start making people give to your program early, you increase the chances of turning them into lifelong alumni donors. That’s why schools try to start their alumni giving campaigns while students are still on campus. It’s not that your law school thinks they’ll make a lot of money off of graduating 3Ls. But they believe that a $20 pledge while students are on campus is the gateway drug to a $200,000 donation in twenty years.

It all makes a lot of sense for the law school, but what do the graduating students get out of it? A lot of students will be paying off their law school tuition for decades, and many will have to start making those repayments before they get a good legal job. Law schools spend money on a slick alumni giving team, with the law school dean serving in the role of “fundraiser-in-chief.” But 3Ls need their schools to focus on “job-raising” instead of fundraising.

To the extent that 3L giving is a reflection of the services rendered by the law school over three years of expensive education, you’d expect a lot of law schools to get squat out of their 3L giving campaigns. That is exactly what one law student is suggesting to his fellow classmates.

The fun thing is that this 3L is on the committee for 3L fundraising…

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Got a pedigree problem?

* The Supreme Court isn’t sure how to address restitution in this child pornography case, but the justices agreed that they didn’t like the “50 percent fudge factor” offered by a government attorney. [New York Times]

* No, stupid, you can’t strike a juror just because he’s gay. By expanding juror protections to sexual orientation, the Ninth Circuit recently added a new notch on the gay rights bedpost. Progress! [Los Angeles Times]

* The Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board says the NSA’s domestic surveillance program is illegal and should be stopped. Sorry, Edward Snowden beat you to the punch on that one. [New York Times]

* While Blank Rome was busy denying a possible merger with Nixon Peabody, it picked up 21 attorneys from two small firms in California to open a San Francisco office. Sneaky. [Philadelphia Business Journal]

* Dennis T. O’Riordan, the ex-Paul Hastings partner who faked his credentials, was disbarred — not in New York, where he claimed he was admitted, but across the pond in the United Kingdom. [Am Law Daily]

* The ABA Journal wants to know if your law firm considers law school pedigree during its hiring process. Please consider the law schools your firm shuts out from OCI, and respond accordingly. [ABA Journal]

* Word on the street is UALR School of Law is trying to push an affirmative action program that’s “likely unconstitutional.” It might also be insulting to prospective minority students, so there’s that. [Daily Caller]

Congratulations on joining the lost generation of attorneys!

Life can be strange sometimes. When I started writing this column I had a few expectations of what I might encounter. A few gossipy scandals, some crazy tales from document review projects, and one or two commenters encouraging me to commit suicide. Nothing out of the ordinary, at least not for the pages of ATL.

But I never planned on being an advice columnist. Dear Abby I am not. However, years of being a contract attorney have taught me to roll with the punches. And if a reader emails in looking for advice, then dispense advice I will.

So how do you get started as a contract attorney?

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* Dewey think you should’ve signed up for the partnership contribution plan? That probably would’ve been wise. One of Dewey & LeBoeuf’s ex-service partners has been forced into Chapter 7 bankruptcy thanks to a clawback suit. [Am Law Daily]

* As long as the job market for new attorneys remains laughable, law schools will continue to make moves when it comes to deep tuition cuts. Say hello to a $30K drop in sticker price, Roger Williams University Law students. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* Syracuse Law’s class sizes keep getting smaller, but it was “strategically managed” — just like the new law building was financially strategically managed on the backs of alumni and their tuition. [Daily Orange]

* A trial date was set for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s friends who allegedly tried to cover up his role in the Boston bombings. No word yet on whether any stupid girls have set up fan clubs for them. [National Law Journal]

* The curtains are finally closing on the King of Pop’s life: Lloyd’s of London settled its insurance suit with Michael Jackson’s estate, and Conrad Murray’s involuntary manslaughter conviction was upheld. [AP]

[Andrew] Meyer is very mature, he’s very focused, and he’s very professional. He wants to take his life to another level. He plans on taking the bar exam at the end of February. He wants to get licensed and he wants to help people. That’s what our website is all about.

Carlos Miller, of Photography is Not a Crime, a First Amendment blog, offering high praise for his latest hire, full-time staff writer Andrew Meyer. Meyer recently graduated from FIU Law, and his fruitless pleas of “don’t tase me, bro” will live forever in internet infamy.

(Don’t remember the 2007 tasing incident? See the video below.)

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