Judge G. Thomas Porteous (E.D. La.), the only Judge of the Day Hall of Fame honoree who is still actually a judge, may soon join Edward Nottingham, Samuel Kent and Elizabeth Halverson as a former judge.

From the New Orleans Times-Picayune:

The House Judiciary Committee today unanimously approved four articles of impeachment against U.S. District Judge Thomas Porteous. The panel, consisting of 23 Democrats and 16 Republicans, sent the articles to the full House of Representatives.

A vote by a majority of the 435-member House to impeach Porteous, 63, would result in a Senate trial on whether to remove the New Orleans judge, a 1994 appointee of President Bill Clinton, from office. It takes a two-thirds vote in the Senate to remove a judge from what otherwise is a lifetime appointment.

So what were the impeachment articles based on?

When Judge Donald Jackson enters a courtroom, the bailiffs may ask that “all kneel” instead of rise. The Texas county judge has been found guilty of offering to help a woman accused of DWI if she was willing to serve time in the bedroom.

From the Dallas Morning News:

A 28-year-old woman charged with driving while intoxicated accused Jackson of offering her a better court-appointed attorney if she’d agree to a romantic relationship. A jury found Jackson guilty Friday of official oppression.

Photos of the criminal temptress in a video after the jump.

Judge Mark Kent Ellis told Jackson, “We are all tarnished by your stupidity.” Then Judge Ellis gave him a sentence that he “wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy.” What’s that?

Earlier this year, Kansas lawyer Kimberly Ireland filed a lawsuit against state judge Kevin Moriarty, accusing him of masturbating while overseeing her divorce mediation. After we wrote about it, her ex-husband came to Judge Moriarty’s defense, saying his wife’s accusations were limp.

Ireland is now recanting her claims as well, issuing a public apology.

Excerpt and links, after the jump.

How many people out there are mainlining Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2? I’m not. Apparently, I need to practice for my upcoming Soul Calibur demolition of ATL commenters. But I’ll probably pick COD2 for the holiday season.

A British judge didn’t have my sense of patience:

Now, as the story has it, a county judge in Britain with 15 years of service (who will remain anonymous) went out and waited an hour in-line for the midnight launch of Modern Warfare 2. The 48-year-old said he was “like Charlie waiting outside the chocolate factory”. That’s a pretty intense statement from a district county judge with a wife and two kids at home.

When he finally got his copy, he did what any other 14-year-old person would do, he played it. All night long.

Obviously, that made showing up for work the next day a little bit difficult.

Many ‘08 law school grads are about to take a step up to second year associate level at Biglaw firms across the land. You’re feeling pretty proud? And lucky to have a Biglaw gig these days, right?

Well, eat your hearts out. Michael Edwards, Georgetown Law ‘08 grad, has already been appointed a judge. He took his seat on the bench in Indiana City Court on Tuesday. From WTHI TV:

The Indiana Supreme Court appointed a new attorney to become a temporary judge in a southern Indiana City Court. Michael Edwards is a Naval Academy graduate, former Marine, and now the city court judge in Bicknell.

A Georgetown classmate tipped us off to the news:

This is one of my friends from GULC’s class of 2008. Already a judge! Ridiculous!

So how’d Edwards come to the attention of the Indiana Supreme Court? Judge Edwards’ ascension to the bench is a result of malfeasance by a prior judge, but was also due in part to a pushed back start date at a Chicago Biglaw firm.

Portland, Tennessee high school math teach Sandy Binkley was convicted of statutory rape back in September. The 37-year-old woman had sex with a 17-year-old student in a locker room.

Binkley argued that the 17-year-old student raped her. She gave an interview to Tennessee News Channel 5 before her trial:

“There was one incident with one student - who was a month away from being 18. He was bigger than me and he forced himself on me,” said Binkley. “He came into the room and forced himself upon me.”

The jury didn’t buy it.

On Friday, Binkley was sentenced. And man, the judge essentially put her behind bars and threw away the key. The Tennessean reports:

A former Portland High School teacher convicted of having sex with her underage teacher’s aide has been sentenced to 12 years in prison.

District Attorney Ray Whitley said Sandy Binkley “got what she had coming to her.”

“(Judge Dee Gay) gave her the maximum sentence and that’s what she deserved,” Whitley said.

The woman got 12 years — the maximum sentence — for having sex with a 17-year-old? Really? Does that make sense to everybody here?

Binkley’s lawyers (obviously) feel the judge went a little overboard. Details after the jump.

I like it when judges show a sense of humor. It gives me metaphysical joy when judges refuse to act like legal automatons, and it makes my job easier.

Hennepin County District Judge Stephen Aldrich is a man who understands that court proceedings need not be devoid of the occasional one-liner:

Three weeks ago in family court, reviewing a domestic violence order for protection, a transcript shows Judge Aldrich telling the husband and wife, “I’ve been married 45 years. We’ve never considered divorce, a few times murder, maybe.”

As Chris Rock says, you haven’t been in love unless you’ve considered killing your spouse “and the only thing that stops you is an episode of CSI.”

I think Judge Aldrich should be applauded for his humor. But we live in America, the land of perpetually bunched panties. So it’s not so surprising that some people are calling for Judge Aldrich to resign.

Details after the jump.

Way back in the day — I’m thinking circa 1,000 AD — most problems could be solved through an exchange of food. It was a simpler time when disputes were settled without interrogatories, and transgressors made restitution with meat and mead.

With that in mind, I applaud Joliet Judge Robert Livas and his truly old-school sentence. The Chicago Tribune reports:

The local legal community has been abuzz since Associate Judge Robert Livas accepted the Jamaican-style chicken from Darrius Logan this month over an objection from a prosecutor. Logan, 24, pleaded guilty last year to misdemeanor battery and criminal trespass charges after an incident in Joliet.

Yumyumyum.

Rivas now claims he didn’t intend to convert Logan’s community service sentence into a chicken run. But I bet his court staffers are happy with the result.

More details after the jump.

Last month, we linked to a story in Courthouse News Service about Kansas Judge Kevin Moriarty. Kansas attorney Kimberly Ireland filed a lawsuit against Judge Moriarty, alleging that he had used inappropriate language and masturbated during her divorce mediation.

In her suit, she said that her ex-husband supported her and had testified about the judge’s inappropriate behavior at the mediation during their divorce trial.

After the post went up, her ex, Kevin Ireland, reached out to us to set the record straight:

First off, I am not in support of this lawsuit. I never had issue with anything the judge did during our mediation.

There may have been some bad language, but there was no beating of the honorable gavel, says Ireland.

For long-time readers of Above The Law, Herman Thomas is a familiar name. He’s the former Alabama state court judge who allegedly enjoyed spanking male prisoners, traded favorable treatment for sexual favors, and improperly interfered on behalf of a cousin in legal trouble.

He gave up the paddle gavel two years ago. Now he’s headed to trial.

From the Associated Press:

Chief Assistant District Attorney Nicki Patterson said authorities began looking at Thomas after he changed a jail sentence in 2006 for his cousin, former Mobile County school commissioner David Thomas, even though the case was being handled by another judge. Other cases that Thomas had taken over from other judges without their approval soon surfaced, she said.

And what happened to the prisoners in the cases commandeered by Thomas?

Kimberly and Kevin Ireland, of Kansas, decided in 2007 to file for a divorce. Their case was mediated by state judge Kevin Moriarty. Things did not go well from there.

From a pro se complaint [PDF] against Moriarty posted at Courthouse News Service:

Defendant Moriarty used the word “f*&%” during the mediation… Defendant Moriarty discussed plaintiff Ireland’s female undergarments and referred to the same as “panties” during the mediation… Defendant Moriarty discussed plaintiff Ireland’s sex life during the mediation.

According to Kathy Ireland, none of this was relevant to the mediation. But Moriarty thought it was important. And exciting:

Defendant Moriarty appeared to be masturbating during the mediation.

It all sounds pretty crazy, right? But Ireland’s ex-husband is actually backing her up on this.

Federal judges have been complaining about their salaries for years now, but all they’ve managed to get recently is a small cost of living increase.

Federal judge Stephen Larson of the Central District of California is taking a stand on the issue — by quitting. From the National Law Journal:

U.S. District Judge Stephen G. Larson of the Los Angeles-based Central District of California said in a prepared statement on Sept. 15 that the failure by Congress to increase judicial salaries made it impossible to support his seven children, all under age 18.

“The costs associated with raising our family are increasing significantly, while our salary remains stagnant and, in terms of purchasing power, is actually declining,” he said. “The short of it is that I know I must place my family’s interest, particularly the future of my children, ahead of my own fervent desire to remain a federal judge.”

We can see where he’s coming from. Larson, 44, hasn’t seen big(law) money since 1991, when he was a second-year associate at O’Melveny & Myers. Since then he’s been in public service, as an assistant U.S. attorney and a judge.

We have so many questions!

Finally, we wonder: are federal judges underpaid? Find out how much judges make, and vote in our poll as to whether they’re underpaid, after the jump.

Let’s be honest. Whether it was that gunner in your 1L section, some douche from UVA Law, or Elie in his True/Slant race rants, we have all wanted to bind and gag someone at some point. But most of us understand that this practice is best left to consenting adults. In the bedroom. With a safe word.

Judge Stephen Belden from the Municipal Court in Canton, OH is not like most of us. Growing tired of a disrespectful defendant during a preliminary hearing last week, Judge Belden ordered the bailiff to duct tape the defendant’s mouth shut.

The Repository reports:

At the start of the hearing, [Defendant Harry] Brown told Belden that he wasn’t happy with his public defender, who he claimed hadn’t done enough work on the case.

Belden said he wasn’t going to appoint a different attorney. If Brown didn’t want the public defender, he could represent himself, although he would be a fool to do so, the judge said.

Brown and Belden went back and forth for about four minutes, at times talking over each other, until Belden told his bailiff, Jeffrey Smith, to get the duct tape.

“I’m gonna get some duct tape. If you keep interrupting me, I’m gonna have Mr. Smith put it over your mouth, OK?”

Brown said he would go back to the holding area for prisoners.

“No, you can’t go back there and sit. You’re staying right here,” Belden said.

Brown kept talking.

“All right, duct tape. Duct tape the defendant,” Belden said.

There are just… so many questions. Only a few of them are answered after the jump.

Speaking of judges with tempers… From the Washington Post:

A Charles County judge is under investigation for allegedly letting the air out of the tire of a car belonging to a woman who works as a part-time cleaning worker at the courthouse, according to the car owner and sources familiar with the incident.

Two county sheriff’s jail officers said they saw Circuit Court Judge Robert C. Nalley letting the air out of the back right tire of a 2004 Toyota Corolla parked just outside the La Plata courthouse about 3:45 p.m. Monday, according to the two sources.

Apparently, the woman had taken Nalley’s spot:

Jean Washington, the owner of the Toyota, said in an interview that she had just entered the courthouse for her work shift when a sheriff’s deputy alerted her, “Jean, you need to move your car. Judge Nalley’s going to let the air out of it.”

Washington, 51, said she rushed out and moved her car to a different parking lot, farther from the courthouse. When she pulled into another parking spot, another sheriff’s deputy told her that her rear passenger tire was flat, Washington said.

Judge Nalley, we kind of love you. That’s what you get for taking a judge’s parking spot, cleaner lady!

Unfortunately, Nalley may not be entitled to his parking spot righteousness.

Jeffrey L. Marcuzzo is a Nebraska county judge with a temper. Leigh Jones at the National Law Journal reports that Marcuzzo’s corn got husked when a prosecutor rescheduled a matter before him back in October 2007. Marcuzzo called and left a vulgar message on the prosecutor’s voicemail:

“I did not appreciate that one f**king bit. And if I find out you ever did that again to me or any other members of the county court bench, I’ll shove it up your a** so f**king far it will make your throat hurt.”

The Supreme Court of Nebraska has disciplined the judge for violating judicial disciplinary rules and sentenced him to a 120-day suspension without pay.

We were curious: How did the prosecutor react to the profane message?

Speaking about whether or not judges should be empathetic, try this one on for size. A homeless man in Georgia has been jailed for over a year for failure to pay child support for a kid. He is not the biological parent and the judge knew he wasn’t the biological parent at the time he sent the man to jail.

Excuse me, I need to quickly sign my papers demanding support from Tavis Smiley.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports:

In the 1980s, Hatley had a relationship with Essie Lee Morrison, who became pregnant, had a baby boy and told [homeless man Frank Hatley] the child was his, according to court records. The couple never married and split up shortly after Travon was born in 1987….

But in 2000, DNA samples from Hatley and Travon showed the two were not related, according to a court records.

With the help of a Georgia Legal Services lawyer, Hatley went to court and was relieved of his responsibility to pay future child support. But he still had to deal with being a deadbeat dad when it was assumed that he was really the dad.

Notwithstanding the fact that he was not the biological father, Hatley paid child support for years. More details after the jump.

Judge Timothy Ellender may be a Louisianian but he lacks a certain sense of Southern charm or diplomacy. A few years back, he got in trouble for wearing blackface and a jail jumpsuit to a Halloween party. That earned the racially-insensitive judge a six-month suspension.

It turns out the judge is also insensitive when it comes to domestic abuse issues. From WWLTV:

A Terrebonne Parish judge has been suspended for 30 days and fined $185 for violating the code of judicial conduct with inappropriate comments during a 2007 hearing on a domestic abuse case.

In transcripts from a 2007 hearing Judge Timothy Ellender, of the 32nd Judicial District Court for the Parish of Terrebonne, seemed to grow impatient with the complainant’s attempt to secure a restraining order instead of divorcing her husband.

This Cajun knocked fast food and praised knocking a child around while presiding over Eula Smith Warren’s request for a TRO. The transcript from the Louisiana Supreme Court Recommendation for Discipline [pdf] via Courthouse News Service:

THE COURT: All right. It says: “On Sunday, February 11th, we were in Subway eating.” Can’t you find a better place to eat than that? “Before we went to the parade. My daughter, Sabrina, two, was acting up in the store and didn’t want to sit down to eat. He told Sabrina if she didn’t stop he was going to bring her to the bathroom and it was going to be a bloody mess.” True?

MR. WARREN: No, sir. I told her that I was going to take her in the bathroom and whip her booty and make her booty bleed.

THE COURT: That’s good. Good for you.

More examples of Ellender’s “exhibiting improper temperament and demeanor and failing to act with patience, dignity, and courtesy,” after the jump.

A Texas judge has been indicted for keying his neighbor’s Range Rover. The Houston Chronicle reports the possible penalties for criminal mischief in Texas:

Woody Ray Densen, 69, could face 180 days to two years in a state jail and a fine of up to $10,000 if convicted. He could also be disciplined by the state Commission on Judicial Conduct.

That’s all you get for keying another man’s truck in Texas? I thought that was a capital offense down there.

Judge Densen’s alleged vandalism was caught on tape. It was worth him doing it, just to catch him doing it:

Adam Kliebert, a 40-year-old home builder, set up a surveillance camera in his Rice Village-area driveway that recorded a man he identified as Densen walking behind his 2006 Range Rover and appearing to pause and tamper with it on May 23. Kliebert has said he was frustrated that someone kept damaging his SUV, leaving him with repair bills for $3,000.

After the jump, let’s check out the video.

District Judge Thor Anderson, a trial court judge in Minnesota, could be a Judge of the Day simply on the strength of his powerful name. His dashing picture to the right — taken a long time ago, perhaps in a galaxy far, far away — would be enough to clinch the deal.

But Judge Anderson (a.k.a. Mr. Thor) also has a creative flair when he writes opinions. Last week, the judge ruled in favor of an alleged drunk driver, by granting a pretrial discovery motion. But his unhappiness with the outcome, dictated by a Minnesota Supreme Court ruling that he believes makes no sense, will shake law libraries in Minnesota like a terrifying thunderclap.

At issue was Minnesota’s source code litigation. The Minnesota Supreme Court has ruled that drunk driving defendants are entitled to the source code from their (failed) breathalyzer tests. This would be fine, if the state actually had the source code — which it doesn’t.

Judge Anderson explains the problem like this:

Notwithstanding the state’s difficulties in obtaining the source code from the Breathalyzer’s manufacturers, the Minnesota Supreme Court believes that defendants are entitled to the information.

The thunder God becomes angered, after the jump.

Two civil court judges in the Lone Star State got physical in their benchslapping yesterday, reports the Dallas Morning News Crime Blog:

It was a reported shoving match between Judge Carlos Cortez of the 44th Civil District Court and Judge Eric V. Moyé of the 14th Civil District Court. The fight occurred in Cortez’s chambers in front of a witness — a Dallas County sheriff’s deputy, according to Roger Mandel, who is Cortez’s attorney.

“Judge Cortez was physically assaulted by Judge Moye in Judge Cortez’s chambers,” Mandel said. “Judge Moye’s conduct is being investigated by the Sheriff’s Department.”

Moyé went after Cortez in Cortez’s own chambers! That’s so wrong. One tipster explains why Moyé might have had an advantage in the tangle:

I’d take Moyé in the fight… [he] is a long-time student of Aikido (see this - he’s also a top Amazon reviewer) and I think he still teaches at his dojo. In any event, the interesting question is what this would do (true or not) to Moyé’s alleged aspirations to the federal bench (he was nominated by Clinton back in the day and is rumored to have a continuing interest).

Well, we now know Moye is mighty capable of the judicial smackdown, an important part of being a federal judge. But it looks like he’s going to be the subject of a criminal investigation, which can’t be good for his aspirations.

More on this, why the judges were mixing it up, and Judge Cortez’s MySpace page, after the jump.