Television jurist Judith Sheindlin, aka "Judge Judy," is one tough customer. No matter what you do, don't pee on her leg and tell her it's raining.

But it seems that there's a real-life "Judge Judy" who may be similarly difficult. From the ABA Journal:

A Seattle-area judge has been accused of routinely interrupting litigants and lawyers and addressing them in a manner that is "angry, disdainful, condescending and/or demeaning."

The state Commission on Judicial Conduct claims in a statement of charges (PDF) that Judge Judith Eiler treated lawyers and self-represented litigants in a way that is "rude, impatient, undignified and intimidating," the Tacoma News Tribune reports.

Eiler underwent behavior therapy with an emphasis on sensitivity training after she received a reprimand in 2005 for impatient and rude behavior, the story says.

It seems that Her Honor may be something of a rudeness recidivist. Is this proof that "sensitivity training" is just a big old waste of time? Or is Judge Eiler just auditioning for a TV judge gig of her own?

P.S. Compliments to the crew at Wired on their photoshop skills, which you can see by comparing the two photos at right.

Judge Who Had Sensitivity Training Is Accused Again of Rudeness [ABA Journal]
Judge on the hot seat again [Tacoma News-Tribune]
Judge: Spam Exempt From Law When Sender Names Self [Wired]
Judge Judith R. Eiler bio [King County District Court]

Despite her attractiveness, Judge Cheryl Aleman is not our favorite Floridian judge. That honor would have to go to Judge Mary Barzee Flores (with Judge Ursula Ungaro a close second).

But Judge Aleman still sounds pretty delish. Tomorrow she goes on trial before the state’s judicial ethics commission. From the Daily Business Review:

In February, the JQC [Judicial Qualifications Commission] filed formal charges against Judge Aleman for incidents when she:

• Threatened to hold two assistant public defenders in contempt in a first-degree murder case for not filing a motion quickly enough.

• Held a contempt hearing for a defense attorney when she knew he was out of town, and then sentenced him to 60 days in jail for missing two hearings.

• Refused to release a man allegedly dying of AIDS from jail and then issued an order releasing him once a negative article was published about the incident.

• Served on cases involving a defense attorney with whom she had conflicts.

A little bit more, after the jump.

How have we not heard of her before? She's fabulous! And for reasons that will soon become obvious, a Pennsylvania state court jurist, Luzerne County Judge Ann Lokuta, is today's Judge of the Day.

From the Citizens Voice:

A former intern of Luzerne County Judge Ann Lokuta testified tonight the jurist called her a tramp for wearing a sleeveless shirt to work.

Rebecca Sammon took the stand in Lokuta's misconduct trial and described another incident where Lokuta yelled at her for being nice on the phone.

Awesome. And there's more:

Prothonotory Jill Moran testified lawyers got yelled at for clicking pens or writing too loudly in Lokuta's courtroom. Prothonotary clerk Maura Cusick said Lokuta was either a good judge or a wicked judge.

A dichotomy couldn't be more false: a wicked judge IS a good judge. The Honorable Ann Lokuta is a delicious judicial diva.

[Ed. note: Yes, we just learned what "prothonotary" means too. See here.]

More obscure terms for judicial staff members, after the jump.

Up until this point, we had perhaps shaky evidence that Nina Totenberg, legal affairs correspondent for NPR, is a diva.

There was the (now closed) ATL reader poll, in which 30 percent of you declared La Totenberg to be a true diva. There were various stories of diva-like behavior. There was her recent, diva-licious appearance on NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, in which she gave Scooter Libby prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald a piece of her mind. (Click here, select "Not My Job: Patrick Fitzgerald," and skip ahead to the 7:30 mark.)

But now it's official: Nina Totenberg really IS a diva, narrowly defined as "[a] female opera star of great rank or pretension." Click here, and listen to her operatically trill the four finalists for a new "All Things Considered" jingle.

Although some of the notes in Nina's upper register sound a little thin, on the whole she's in fine voice. We're very impressed!

From one tipster: "Can I suggest a barbershop quartet, consisting of Nina Totenberg, Joan Biskupic, Jan Crawford Greenburg, and Linda Greenhouse?" Or maybe a sing-off between Nina Totenberg and Judge Marjorie Rendell (3d Cir.), another diva in the figurative and literal senses of the word?

Now if only we can get Nina Totenberg to sing Everyone's A Winner at Nixon Peabody...

Vote for 'All Things Considered' Theme Song Lyrics [NPR]
Not My Job: Patrick Fitzgerald (around 7:30 mark) [Wait Wait Don't Tell Me / NPR]

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Nina Totenberg (scroll down)

Last week we described the Honorable Marian Shelton, of Bronx Family Court, as "a true judicial diva." Here's more about her, from the New York Post:

A Bronx judge had a court clerk's wife handcuffed and tossed in a cell for contempt - because she whispered "a**hole" after her husband was kept late at work, a state panel has charged.

Family Court Judge Marian Shelton screamed at the woman, "He'll leave when he's finished his work, not when you tell him!" before ordering court officers to take her to a holding cell for the weekend....

Pretty awesome. Should we be surprised to learn that Judge Shelton's wedding was presided over by another colorful and cantankerous New Yorker, then-Mayor Rudolph Giuliani?

Interesting enough, Judge Shelton is being eyed for elevation -- but not to an appellate court. Details after the jump.

Okay, she looks like a cross between Chelsea Clinton and your fourth-grade English teacher. But make no mistake about it: Judge Marian Shelton is a true judicial diva, and not to be messed with.

From the New York Daily News:

Bronx Family Court Judge Marian Shelton allegedly yelled at a lawyer to "shut up," tossed a woman from court for wearing "inappropriate" clothing, told a Caribbean man to "take those stupid things out of your hair" and said a lawyer had "mental health issues."...

"Go to therapy, but don't act out in my courtroom," Shelton allegedly snapped at one law guardian in a 2005 case.

In another instance, she allegedly mocked the accent of lawyer Mariana Toledo-Hermina.

"How is Toledo-Hermina an attorney when you cannot understand what she is saying?" Shelton allegedly said.

But Judge Shelton has her defenders. Like her husband:

In May, anticipating the [disciplinary] charges, Shelton's husband, wealthy former Proskauer Rose lawyer Saul Cohen, took out a full-page ad in The New York Times to bash the commission.

Full-page NYT ads aren't cheap. But then again, neither is chivalry.

Bronx judge scorn to be wild? [New York Daily News via Gothamist]

(And if you're REALLY good, we'll reward you with more Nina Totenberg stories. Ask and you shall receive!)

Another day, another blog post about Chambermaid, the controversial clerkship novel by lawyer-turned-writer Saira Rao. The latest post is by Professor Scott Burris, who clerked for Third Circuit Judge Dolores K. Sloviter -- Rao's former boss, widely rumored to be the basis for the central villain of Chambermaid, the tyrannical Judge Helga Friedman.

But Burris -- unlike, say, fellow law prof and ex-Sloviter clerk Mike Rappaport -- takes issue with the scuttlebutt equating Sloviter and Friedman:

What I really object to in the whole affair is the way Rao and some of her blogging readers have negotiated the delicate question of Judge Friedman’s correspondence with Judge Sloviter, and the rationale offered in several quarters for “outing” mean judicial bosses....

Aside from a couple of tics, Helga Friendman is not a portrait, nor even a recognizable caricature, of Dolores Sloviter. Hell, I didn’t even recognize Rao’s Center City Philadelphia.

Additional discussion -- if this issue doesn't interest you, just stop reading here -- appears after the jump.

* Can you invoke the Fifth Amendment if you're a juror being voir dired? [Southern District of Florida Blog]

* When it comes to the administrative state, you can run but you can't hide. [DealBreaker]

* The Elizabeth Halverson saga rolls on -- and social studies teachers are grateful for the judicial soap opera: “My high school students have never read the newspaper with such genuine excitement before... So please, let Judge Halverson stay on the bench, just a little bit longer.” [ABA Journal]

* Who's up for an Italian sausage grinder? [New York Post]

Today is our lucky day in terms of media coverage. In addition to the great WaPo shout-out, Above the Law is also mentioned in the Philadelphia Inquirer (front page, above the fold).

The article, by Inquirer book critic Carlin Romano, is all about Chambermaid, the highly entertaining debut novel of Saira Rao, loosely based on her clerkship for Judge Dolores Sloviter of the Third Circuit. You've probably already read tons of blog posts and articles about this buzz-generating book.

But this piece is different. It includes some choice comments from Judge Sloviter herself -- who, until now, has remained silent about her former clerk's literary endeavors (as far as we know).

More discussion, after the jump.

Check out the woman at right. She is the Honorable Dolores K. Sloviter, and she sits on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit.

Judge Sloviter seems like a kindly old lady, doesn't she? We've seen her on the bench, at multiple oral arguments. Based on her grandmotherly appearance, we once quipped to a colleague: "She seems so nice! When is she going to descend from the bench and feed us homemade cookies?"

Answer: not anytime soon (unless the cookies are laced with arsenic). From one of Judge Sloviter's former clerks, Professor Mike Rappaport:

In 1985, having just graduated from law school, I arrived for my first day of work as a law clerk to Dolores K. Sloviter of the Third Circuit....

My two co-clerks, who had arrived a week earlier, took me to lunch. I asked how things were going, and they looked kind of uncomfortable. They explained that on their first day, a week earlier, they had gone to lunch with the holdover clerk, and had asked her, almost making small talk, how her year had been. [T]hey listened as she spent the next hour and a half detailing the horrors of the experience, and how she wasn't sure how she had gotten through it.

That law clerk's year of hell turned out to be quite similar to our year....

(That's just an excerpt. You can read the entire post by clicking here.)

But should any of this come as a surprise? As regular ATL readers surely recall, Dolores Sloviter is the alleged inspiration for the nightmarish Judge Helga Friedman, central villain of Saira Rao's delightful new novel, Chambermaid.

Additional thoughts on hellacious clerkships, plus a call for reader tips, after the jump.

The front page of today's Washington Post has an interesting article about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's dissent yesterday in Ledbetter v. Goodyear:

The court ruled 5 to 4 that Lilly Ledbetter, the lone female supervisor at a tire plant in Gadsden, Ala., did not file her lawsuit against Goodyear Tire and Rubber Co. in the timely manner specified by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

The decision moved Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to read a dissent from the bench, a usually rare practice that she has now employed twice in the past six weeks to criticize the majority for opinions that she said undermine women's rights.

Speaking for the three other dissenting justices, Ginsburg's voice was as precise and emotionless as if she were reading a banking decision, but the words were stinging.

Justice Ginsburg's style of delivery should come as no surprise to regular visitors to the Court. She's generally regarded as the most soporific when it comes to reading opinions from the bench.

But Justice Ginsburg's decision to dissent from the bench is interesting. A number of more hard-core liberals -- e.g., Judge Stephen Reinhardt, of the Ninth Circuit -- view RBG as insufficiently liberal (or insufficiently outspoken in defense of her liberal views). They see her as something of a disappointment on the SCOTUS, given her pre-robescent background as a crusading lawyer for the ACLU and feminist legal scholar.

But RBG's vociferous dissents in Ledbetter and in Gonzalez v. Carhart, the partial-birth abortion case from earlier in the Term, raise a question: Could Justice Ginsburg finally be flowering as liberal leader of the Supreme Court?

P.S. To be sure, "flowering" is not a term usually applied to Justice Ginsburg. But you know what we mean.

P.P.S. Among the federal appeals courts, we'd say the Eleventh Circuit has the greatest track record of producing liberal lionesses. E.g., Rosemary Barkett; Phyllis Kravitch.

But there are some noteworthy liberal judicial divas on other circuit courts. E.g., that New England ice queen, Sandra Lynch, of the First Circuit; that luscious Latina, Sonia Sotomayor, of the Second Circuit; the frighteningly brilliant Diane Wood, of the Seventh Circuit; the ancient yet energetic Betty Fletcher, of the Ninth Circuit; and the magically delicious Marsha Berzon, also of the Ninth Circuit.

Over Ginsburg's Dissent, Court Limits Bias Suits [Washington Post]

Yes, we did catch Judge Marjorie O. Rendell on the Food Network earlier this week (see screenshot above). As we previously mentioned, she recently appeared on Dinner: Impossible, in her capacity as First Lady of Pennsylvania.

Chef Robert Invine was given a challenging task. He was directed "to prepare a stately array of hors d'oeuvres," to be served at the Inaugural Ball of Judge Rendell's husband, Pennsylvania Governor Edward Rendell.

The number of guests: 4,000. The amount of time available to him: 24 hours. Despite the difficulty of the project, Chef Irvine completed his mission.

But we were a little disappointed with the episode, for a number of reasons. We list them after the jump.

If the answer is no, that's about to change, as of tonight. A culinarily-minded tipster alerts us:

Tonight at 10:30 EST, the fabulous Judge Midge Rendell will appear on the Food Network. Check out tonight's episode of Dinner: Impossible:

"Chef Robert Irvine faces his most daunting assignment yet. In a surprise meeting, the governor of Pennsylvania [Ed Rendell] challenges Robert to prepare a stately array of hors d'oeuvres for his Inaugural Ball. In just 24 hours Robert has to create and prepare Pennsylvania delicacies to feed 4,000 attendees!"

Television commercials reveal that Judge Rendell will appear on the show. I suspect that it will be diva-licious!

We agree. And perhaps Judge Rendell, who has given musical guidance to Jon Bon Jovi, can teach Irvine a thing or two about cooking.

If you need to be reminded of this judicial diva's prowess in the kitchen, we direct you to her nomination blurb as a Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary:

By day, Judge Marjorie O. Rendell of the Third Circuit develops groundbreaking precedents affecting fundamental constitutional rights. By night, First Lady Marjorie "Midge" Rendell of the Governor's Mansion develops... recipes!

Yes, now you too can whip up a feast consisting of Judge Rendell's Savory Meatloaf, Broccoli-Chicken Casserole (yummy but fattening -- that's a lot of cream cheese!), Stuffed Mushrooms, and Lowfat Raspberry Souffle. Your Honor, this is delish!

Have any of you -- maybe there are some former Rendell clerks among you -- sampled Judge Rendell's cuisine? If so, we'd love to get your firsthand report.

P.S. If you're such a huge Judge Rendell groupie that you want to see her in person as well as on television, check out this event, taking place in Philadelphia on Sunday afternoon. It sounds fantastic.

We would have loved to watch the legendary Miguel Estrada and David Rudovsky argue before a star-studded bench. But when we called yesterday to reserve a seat, we were informed that seats are no longer available.

If you hang around outside the entrance, though, maybe you can catch a glimpse of judicial hottie Rendell as she enters or exits the building. Good luck!

Dinner: Impossible [Food Network]
Peter Jennings Project: Law and Order in 2015: A Case Set in the Future [National Constitution Center]
Judge Marjorie O. Rendell bio [FJC]

Earlier: Judge Rendell: She Gives Love a Bad Name

Some time ago, we posted an anecdote about the family travel mishaps of Judge Marsha Berzon, of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit.

Many ATL readers enjoyed the story. But Judge Berzon's colleague, Judge Alex Kozinski -- one of the federal judiciary's most brilliant thinkers and talented writers -- was less pleased. He sent us an open letter criticizing the story and our decision to publish it.

We posted Judge Kozinski's letter here, and we promised a more detailed response.

We intended to publish a response much earlier. But having to respond to a benchslapping at the hands of a brilliant federal judge tends to induce "writer's block." Who'd have thunk it?

Anyway, we finally got over our writer's block. Our response appears after the jump.

Until recently, Justice Emily Goodman was probably our favorite member of the New York Supreme Court -- mainly 'cause she was nice enough to write to us.

But Justice Goodman has been displaced; we've found a new object for our affections. From Judicial Reports:

Is Carol Berkman the least popular Supreme Court Justice in Manhattan? We know a slew of attorneys who have put her at the top — or perhaps that's the bottom — of their lists.

To say that Acting Supreme Court Justice Carol Berkman of Manhattan is unpopular among litigators would be an understatement. More than a dozen lawyers recently cited her penchant for extraordinary verbal abuse of counsel.

One called her “ornery.” Another said “nasty.” Still another opined that she was “vindictive.”

In 1999 the Legal Aid Society took the highly unusual step of publicly petitioning against Berkman’s reappointment to Criminal Court. The society wrote a letter to the Mayor’s Committee on the Judiciary that accused the justice of “systematic rudeness and mistreatment of both defense and prosecution lawyers and defendants (and occasionally even belittlement of other judges).”

We love Justice Berkman: she's smart, and she's tough. On the smarts front, note her impressive resume, including Cornell and Harvard Law; her low reversal rate (5.4 percent); and the attorney testimonials in the Judicial Reports piece, noting her intelligence.

The Judicial Reports article also contains ample evidence of Judge Berkman's tougheness -- especially with respect to her handling of psychiatric evidence she perceives to be dubious. You can read the report in its entirety by clicking on the link below.

Wielding a Mean Gavel [Judicial Reports]

Yesterday brought some good news for Connecticut state court judge Vanessa Lynne Bryant, nominated to the federal district court for Connecticut.

From the Hartford Courant (via How Appealing):

The influential judicial screening committee of the American Bar Association has reversed itself on the nomination of Superior Court Judge Vanessa L. Bryant to the federal bench, concluding that the judge it found not qualified a year ago is now qualified.

The chairman of the association's Standing Committee on the Federal Judiciary said Tuesday that the new evaluation is the result of a routine re-examination of Bryant's qualifications. That was triggered when Bryant's nomination was resubmitted in January by President Bush after Congress adjourned last year without acting on it.

So Judge Bryant's confirmation -- which was never seriously in doubt, even back when she was deemed "unqualified," due to the political support she enjoyed on both sides of the aisle -- is now just a formality.

To refresh your memory, here's some discussion of Judge Bryant's earlier "not qualified" rating:

In confidential interviews, [ABA investigator Doreen] Dodson wrote, judges and lawyers described Bryant as "domineering and exasperated with lawyers," "arrogant and unreasonable," and "contentious and short-tempered." Some also said she seemed overwhelmed by complex issues and wrote opinions that were hard to decipher. Dodson added that such complaints appeared consistently through her years on the bench.

Hmm... This description calls to mind a certain other jurist named Vanessa: Judge Vanessa D. Gilmore (at right), appointed by President Clinton in 1994, and recently discussed here.

Now, we harbor a healthy skepticism of the ABA ratings process. And we do acknowledge the concerns that have been raised concerning the anonymous nature of the earlier criticisms of Judge Bryant, which hampered her ability to respond to them at her Judiciary Committee hearings.*

But here's a question on our mind, which we'll just toss out there for all of you to debate:

If confirmed to the federal bench, might Judge Vanessa Bryant someday end up looking like the northeastern, Republican version of Judge Vanessa Gilmore?

* Speaking of anonymous criticism of judges, yes, we know: we are delinquent with our response to Judge Alex Kozinski's open letter. Look for it tomorrow.

Opinion Reversed: Judge Is Qualified [Hartford Courant (via How Appealing)]
Dodd, Lieberman and Blumenthal endorse federal judge nominee [Associated Press]
Vanessa Lynne Bryant bio [Office of Legal Policy]

Earlier: The Honorable Vanessa Gilmore: A Delicious Judicial Diva

If you're getting tired of our stories about the DOJ's Shanetta Cutlar and S&C's Alexandra Korry, we have a new name to add to our rotation of delightfully high-powered, imperious females. Meet Judge Vanessa D. Gilmore (at right), of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Texas.

Whisper her name out loud: "Vanessa Gilmore." Doesn't it even SOUND diva-licious? If she weren't a federal judge, couldn't she be a character on "Dynasty"?

But we have reasons other than the sound of her name for declaring this rather attractive jurist to be a judicial diva. From a helpful tipster:

I'd like to bring another judicial diva to your attention: Judge Vanessa Gilmore of the Southern District of Texas. You probably have already read about Judge Gilmore's ruling in the Enron broadband case vacating Howard's conviction. I'm not sure she's a match for Shanetta Cutlar, but she's no slouch either when it comes to divadom.

[R]umors about her include:

* She has thrown her keys in open court at an attorney (I believe it might have been an AUSA) for calling her "ma'am";

* She ordered an AUSA to have John Ashcroft personally write her a letter explaining the DOJ's reasons for seeking the death penalty against one defendant but not others [the Williams case, discussed in more detail below];

* When she didn't like the particular font counsel used, she told him that she threw his motion in the trash without reading it, and then she ruled against him;

* During trial she is happy to make findings contrary to stipulations of the parties; and

* She encourages ex parte contact with the court and attempts to prevent record-making: any discovery "motions" must be way of a one-page letter to the court. She will then have a hearing which she considers an "oral motion to compel." She will happily rule without actually seeing any of the discovery propounded.

More about Judge Gilmore, including a discussion of how she got benchslapped by the Fifth Circuit, after the jump.

P.S. We welcome colorful anecdotes about strong personalities within the legal profession regardless of their race, gender, etc. It just so happens that lately we've been getting information about women. If you want to tell us about your workplace abuse at the hands of a man -- e.g., Eric Krautheimer, of Brokeback Lawfirm infamy -- we're all ears.

"I wouldn't call Harry Edwards a 'judicial divo,' per se. He's just really irritable, that's all."

This is a continuation of our earlier post about a luncheon talk by the fantabulous Judge Janice Rogers Brown. Judge Brown sits on the D.C. Circuit, the most prestigious appellate court in the country after the U.S. Supreme Court (which she may someday join). She spoke recently before the Federalist Society in Washington, a group that she said she "always enjoys spending time with -- despite all the trouble it gets [her] into."

Discussion and pictures, after the jump.

Ed. note: Fans of diversity will be pleased to note that this post has nothing to do with (1) Aaron Charney, (2) Biglaw pay raises, or (3) Shanetta Cutlar.

"I've said it once, I'll say it again: I am NOT a judicial diva!!!"

(Okay, she didn't say it quite this emphatically. But Judge Brown did repudiate the "judicial diva" label, when we asked her about it during the Q-and-A session.)

Some time ago -- we're too embarrassed to mention when -- we attended a lunch talk here in Washington with Judge Janice Rogers Brown, of the D.C. Circuit. As we've previously noted, Judge Brown is a leading judicial diva and possible Supreme Court nominee.

It was a great event, and we took lots of pictures, of the impressively poor quality that you're used to here at ATL. Our write-up, with pics, after the jump.

The story we're about to share with you is great, gossipy fun. But we must warn you that it's not for everyone. It's on the long side, and it's aimed at a rather narrow demographic.

It's most likely to entertain (1) current or former Ninth Circuit clerks and (2) people who follow the federal judiciary very, very closely. If you were a reader of Underneath Their Robes back in the day, then this story is for you.

In recognition of its "inside baseball" nature -- and so as not to inflict it upon people who just want Biglaw salary info -- we've placed the complete story after the jump.