Can you imagine what would happen if somebody who used to be an extra on Saturday Night Live tried to make a go of it as a Biglaw associate? I think it would be a spectacular failure. Law firms don’t usually reward things like “creativity” and “humor.” Biglaw values drones, and in many situations, you have to check your personality at the door.
But what if you got in on the “ground floor” of a firm that was growing into a Biglaw power? If you got lucky, you might stick, things might work out for you. And in that happy circumstance, you might end up being a partner in Biglaw who can let your personality flourish in all sorts of ways.
Today, we have a story about that kind of would-be comedian turned law firm partner. And somebody gave him an email account….
* This is why you shouldn’t feed your illegal pet monkey Frosted Flakes — or own an illegal pet monkey, I guess. [Chicago Tribune]
* In other incredible pet law news, a Rhode Island woman is not pleased that her neighbor’s cockatoo has been calling her a “f**king whore.” Awk! Polly want a restraining order? [Legal Blog Watch]
* This is a pretty good round-up of the summer’s most whacked-out legal stories. Think naked people covered in Crisco, kids destroying thousands of dollars in MacBooks — by peeing on them — and a nasty death-by-sex situation. [Legally Weird]
* Making people log in to unsubscribe from junk email isn’t only annoying as sh*t, it’s also probably illegal (as it freaking should be). [Ars Technica]
* A “Man-gina” lawsuit from Texas. I don’t need to say any more. [Houston Press]
* This dude says smoking pot made him a better dad. I somehow doubt this is part of Elie Mystal’s preparation regimen for the stork’s impending arrival. [New York Times]
* Congratulations to everyone who just passed the MPRE — you can learn your score on the MPRE website. [MPRE]
Back in April, we began covering Twitter’s aggressive litigation against alleged online spammers. The company’s decision to initiate the case made waves, as Twitter declared it was going “straight to the source” of those who provided tools to spam Twitter and worsen its users’ experiences on the site.
In the months since, the case has taken a couple interesting turns. And one of the defendants won’t go down without a fight…
About a month ago, we wrote about an interesting lawsuit that Twitter filed against the allegedly “most aggressive” Twitter spammers. The social media giant took action against companies with goofy names, such as TweetAttacks, TweetAdder, and TweetBuddy.
At least one of the defendants, Skootle, the company that developed TweetAdder, is fighting back against Twitter’s allegations. The company filed a response brief on Friday and is represented by none other than one of Above the Law’s own regular columnists.
Keep reading to see Skootle’s brief and learn which ATL columnist is helming the defense…
I know all you attorneys are a totally Tweet happy bunch. So I know you all can relate to the annoyance of every time you send a tweet about your iPhone, you immediately get seven new followers with names like iPhonemadness and iPhoneaddiction.
Okay, maybe not. But Twitter spam is a problem. It is not only annoying, but it also leads to computer viruses spread through the social media platform. That’s why, in order to avoid slowly going the way of the MySpace, the company has taken a drastic step toward stopping spammers.
Every time I get an email, I get really excited. The idea that some of my readers want to reach out and share ideas is overwhelming. Lately, the emails have taken a turn for the worse. The last email I received read like this (or a close approximation because I deleted it upon receipt for fear of catching something):
RE: Guest Post
Dear VALERIE KATZ,
I am writing because you have allowed guest bloggers to write posts on your column before. I am a regular columnist at SEXMEUP.com and think that I can write relevant material for your blog. Some column ideas I have include: My Lovely Lady Lumps and Humps, Lunchtime Quickies, How to Turn Your Office Into A Love Den or Top 10 Things You Can Do With a Stapler. All I ask in return is to be able to include a link to my blog. I think the possibility for crossover traffic is huge. Thanks, Sexy Mama.
I know what you are thinking: Katz, you better say yes to Sexy Mama since her stapler story sounds way better than your expose on office chairs at small firms. Sexy Mama did have a point about cross-over traffic: I am sure many of her readers would agree with me that Size Matters. I could not, however, agree to hand over the reigns to my column to Sexy Mama. After all, I am only interested in Lady Lumps if they relate to small firms.
I know enough not to respond to spam emails. Some other people — specifically, small firm attorneys — do not. So, I am offering them some advice….
I got home from New York last night, exhausted and ready to sleep in my own bed instead of a different couch every night. I noticed a couple things as soon as I set foot into the San Francisco airport. Everyone here wears jeans. Us Californians love our casual clothes. Also, fried food and all meat products and candy are outlawed here, so we are all in excellent shape. We have and enjoy trees, and we live in apartments large enough to have closets.
For better or worse, there are a lot of things about California that make us different and drive Newt Gingrich to say he wants to shut down our region’s federal appeals court.
One of our specialties is our penchant for unaccredited law schools. Say what you will about them — there are advantages and disadvantages — but what about an online only, unaccredited law school that spams law school students who have already enrolled at other, more prestigious institutions?
Shady? Or brilliant marketing strategy? Decide for yourself, courtesy of a generous tipster….
[T]his might be a helpful alert to lawyers who are hiring someone to try to promote their sites: It’s possible that the promotion might consist of behavior that is par for the course for purported penis enlargement products, but not really in keeping with the sort of reputation that lawyers generally seek to cultivate.
– Professor Eugene Volokh, issuing a warning to lawyers that hire outside companies to promote their law firm websites using spam blog comments.
Hey, have you read Above the Law for like one single minute in the past month? If so, you probably know that we’re having this big blogger conference on March 14th at the Yale Club. Yeah, the Yale Club. You’ll be able to recognize me: I’ll be the only big… blogger guy surreptitiously holding a can of crimson spray-paint.
Speaking of coming, you should come. We’ve got CLE and all that. Click here to buy tickets to get CLE credit for listening to bloggers scream about stuff on the internet.
To refresh your memory, details on the panel that I’m moderating — almost entirely sober, mind you — follow.
My panel is called Blogs as Agents of Change, and we’re going to talk about whether all of these spilled pixels are actually making a difference. You know my view… just ask Lawrence Mitchell, but here are the panelists:
So you spent a considerable amount of time courting, selling and maybe even doing some friendly stalking of that attractive lateral partner candidate with a sizable book. After he or she ignored your emails and didn’t return your calls, a few weeks go by and you read a press release in the legal media announcing the recent move to a competing firm.
Rats. Another one got away from you. You cringe when you consider how much time was spent in meetings that did not bear fruit. Your heart aches when recall how you were led to believe this was a marriage made in heaven.
You have been rejected.
The sting of rejection is painful, even for fancy law firms. But you need to find a way that you can turn this disappointment into a legitimate learning experience.
No, this isn’t a pre-party before we come back next fall for the real thing. This IS the real thing. Quinn Emanuel is pushing the envelope on recruiting. The party is now. This is when you meet the partners and associates face to face. This is when we begin the dance that could land you an offer for your second summer BEFORE school starts in the fall.
First: You come to the party. Second: If you like us, you send your resume after June 1, 2014. Third: If we like each other, you get an offer.
We’re not waiting for fall. We’re not doing the twenty minute thing. This party is the real thing!
We hope you’ll join us, and look forward to meeting you.
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