Jury Duty
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Craigslist, Football, iPhone, Jury Duty, Law Schools, Lawrence Lessig, Non-Sequiturs, Pro Se Litigants, Technology, United Kingdom / Great Britain
Non-Sequiturs: 09.25.13
* Apple gave the iPhone 5 fingerprint database to the NSA. This would be a gross invasion of privacy but Tim Cook masterminded this, so the NSA got the Ecce Homo of fingerprint image captures. [Hackers News Bulletin] * Charlie Sheen got dismissed from jury duty after only one day. #winning [TMZ] * Gordon from Sesame Street lost his palimony case. That’s because he was trying to duck out on the woman who mothered his “1… 2… 3… 4 kids! [thunderclap] Ah… ah… ah!” [Jezebel] * Remember the early days of Twitter? Legal Cheek went back and found some of the earliest Tweets from British legal luminaries. It’s just funnier when you imagine an English accent saying, “I appear to be on Twitter… why, I have no idea.” [Legal Cheek] * If you saw last week’s post on crazy people who claim that no court can try them because of maritime law, check out this epic opinion from Canada. Identifying those folks, like the maritime gang from last week, as Organized Pseudolegal Commercial Argument (“OPCA”) litigants, the opinion is 180 pages seeking “to uncover, expose, collate, and publish the tactics employed by the OPCA community.” [Alberta Courts] * Police crack down on a motorized bar stool. That’s fair, because if there’s one motor vehicle that you’re likely to fall off… [Lowering the Bar] * Professor Ilya Somin is touring the country and coming to a law school near you promoting his new book Democracy and Political Ignorance: Why Smaller Government Is Smarter (affiliate link). Small government does usually smart, as in “cause a sharp, stinging pain.” [The Volokh Conspiracy] * An HLS grad working for the World Bank was rescued from the Kenyan mall hostage crisis. We wish her the best. [Daily Mail] * Senator Elizabeth Warren and Professor Lawrence Lessig are going to be speaking at an event called “The Founders v. The Roberts Court: Corruption, Campaign Finance, and McCutcheon v. FEC” tomorrow at noon Eastern. The event will be livestreamed at the link. [Constitutional Accountability Center] * Craigslist is suing Craigstruck, a company that specializes in delivering items ordered off of Craigslist. It’s how all those $5/hour attorneys get from place to place. Anyway, the owner of Craigstruck proposed to settle the legal dispute via football wager with Craigslist. If only all disputes could be settled this way. Video wager after the jump… -
American Constitution Society (ACS), Crime, DUI / DWI, Elizabeth Wurtzel, Jury Duty, Music, Non-Sequiturs, Religion, SCOTUS, Supreme Court
Non-Sequiturs: 09.13.13
* A lawyer fresh out of law school botched a domestic violence case by gushing all over Tom Hanks… who was serving as a juror. Which, in fairness, was awfully Big of him. [TMZ] * Federal prosecutors are seeking at least 27 years in prison for a Massachusetts man who authorities say plotted to kill and eat his children based on a search of his home and car, which is presumably a Saturn. As one law professor observed, “Perhaps the lawyer will make a free exercise argument and claim that eating children is a requirement of his religion.” [CNN] * If you’re going to drink and drive, be sure to toss a few back with the judge first. [KVUE] * A criminal defense lawyer who begins every cross by making the cop look more humane and respectable. I thought the public defender from My Cousin Vinny was the lowest criminal defense could go in the comical incompetence department. [Katz Justice] * Putin crony claims 100 percent of profits in a “public” oil company by flat ignoring minority shareholders. Shhhh! Stop giving Exxon ideas. [Breaking Energy] * Elizabeth Wurtzel knows music (a subject she covered for the New Yorker for New York Magazine). In this article, she writes about The Replacements (something Wurtzel has made her past employers, including Boies Schiller, become familiar with). [The Daily Beast] * On Monday, the American Constitution Society will host a preview of the upcoming Supreme Court session. Panelists include Pamela Harris, Randy Barnett, Joshua Civin, Andrew Pincus, and David Strauss. [American Constitution Society] * Then next Tuesday, The Cato Institute’s Center for Constitutional Studies will host a symposium titled “The Supreme Court: Past and Prologue: A Look at the October 2012 and 2013 Terms.” Panelists include Tom Goldstein, Marcia Coyle, and Howard Bashman. [How Appealing] - Sponsored
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Antonin Scalia, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Jury Duty, Law Professors, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Musical Chairs, New Jersey, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, SCOTUS, State Judges, Supreme Court, Television, Women's Issues
Morning Docket: 09.09.13
* Once again, Justice Ginsburg offers us some perspective on behind the scenes action at the Supreme Court. We bet you didn’t know that “Get over it” is one of Justice Scalia’s favorite expressions. [Politico]
* The chief justice of Delaware’s Supreme Court turned in his resignation papers on Friday, and rumor has it that the legendary Leo Strine will try to replace him. Best of luck, Chancellor! [Reuters]
* “I wasn’t looking for a job.” Paul Aguggia, the chairman of Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton, will step down to cash in as the CEO of a New Jersey bank where he served as outside counsel. [American Banker]
* This is what it’s like when bankruptcies collide: AMR Corp. is now disputing Dewey’s billables, including 1,646 hours of contractually prohibited work completed by first-year associates. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]
* Bank of America is bleeding money in settlement payments. A $39 million payout in a Merrill Lynch gender bias case brings the total to about $200 million in under two weeks. [DealBook / New York Times]
* GW Law starts its dean search next month, and whoever takes the position needs to be good at raising funds, because the school has struggled in that department ever since Dean Berman left. [GW Hatchet]
* An Ivy League law professor tells us the third year of law school is a “crucial resource” to ensure lawyers are well-trained, so classes like “Understanding Obama” must be social imperatives. [Washington Post]
* It seems to me that the only jurors who might be influenced by the depiction of the legal system on Law & Order are the ones who were too dim to figure out how to get out of jury duty. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
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Jury Duty, Labor / Employment, Minority Issues, Racism, Rudeness, Trials
Jury Rules That Black People Shouldn't Say The N-Word Either
Being professional is simpler than a black or white question. -
Craigslist, Defamation, Eminent Domain, Facebook, Free Speech, Job Searches, Jury Duty, Movies, Non-Sequiturs, Technology, Trusts and Estates, Twittering
Non-Sequiturs: 08.15.13
* The Washington Post’s website was hacked by supporters of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad in what was apparently supposed to be a coordinated attack on Western media outlets. This marks the second time in 10 days that the Post has been brutally taken over by Internet geeks. [Washington Post] * An 18-year-old girl took to Facebook to suggest that a 15-year-old girl has herpes. She was convicted of harassment. Putting aside all the hand-wringing over cyberbullying and the First Amendment, what kind of loser Senior is feeling threatened by a Sophomore? [IT-Lex] * New Mexico’s Supreme Court would like to remind everybody that “not speaking English” is not an acceptable method of escaping jury duty. So stop practicing Klingon to get out of your jury summons. [FedSoc Blog] * The Eminent Domain issues surrounding building a giant wall to keep out the giant inter-dimensional monsters from Pacific Rim. I’ll be damned if they obstruct the view from my beach house just because a 10-story hellbeast is sauntering out of the water! [Law and the Multiverse] * Screwing around on a laptop during class can lead to as much as an 11 percent decline in attentiveness. It was so much easier to pay attention when we just had pen and paper and spent the whole class playing Dots and Boxes. [PrawfsBlawg] * Mississippi police are on the hunt for someone managing a parody Twitter account mocking a couple of local politicians. Congratulations Mississippi! You’ve solved all the other crime problems and can turn to stroking the egos of butthurt politicians. [The Daily Dolt] * Are you interested in being a trusts & estates lawyer in the Bay Area? Are you interested in making about $5/hr? Then we’ve got the firm for you! Screenshot after the jump in case this link gets taken down… -
In-House Counsel, Jury Duty, Litigators, Trials
Never Tell A Small Child Not To Stick Peanuts Up His Nose
In-house columnist Mark Herrmann shares 3 aphorisms every litigator should know. -
Attorney Misconduct, Benchslaps, Judge of the Day, Jury Duty, Legal Ethics, State Judges
When Judges Attack! Judge Rips Jury For Not Guilty Verdict
A judge could face disciplinary charges after castigating a jury. And this isn't even her first questionable act. -
Books, Copyright, Intellectual Property, John Marshall Law School, Jury Duty, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Patents, State Attorneys General
Non-Sequiturs: 08.05.13
* “Our graduates have a history of going to small firms, DAs and public defenders’ offices. We don’t have the employment swings that big law schools have because their graduates are focused on more elite firms,” says the dean of law school that costs $185,214 to attend. Certainly all of those students at the District Attorney’s office are making enough bank to pay that off. [Daily Report] * Looking to avoid jury duty? Practice some F-Bombs. [Lowering the Bar] * Copyright carries with it a substantial weakness — most publishers would rather reprint public domain works than deal with authors. [The Atlantic] * 75 percent of IP counsel are either litigating with patent trolls or expect to in the next 12 months. The other 25 percent just represent really sh**ty products. [Consero] * A former attorney is aiming to crowdfund her invention, a 3-in-1 kitchen tool. [Gambas and Grits] * Several State Attorneys General want to make it easier to go after bloggers because narrowly tailored laws are for suckers. [Popehat] * A tipster sent us this from Facebook. This is the best tattoo of Lady Justice ever. Picture after the jump… By the way, if you have pics of other great legally-themed tats, send them to us and we’ll see about crafting a full mash-up post. - Sponsored
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Goldman Sachs, Jury Duty, Quote of the Day, Securities and Exchange Commission, Securities Law, Trials, Wall Street
Jurors Don't Have 'Fabulous' Things To Say About Fabrice
Fabrice Tourre is not-so fabulous in the minds of his jurors. -
9th Circuit, Biglaw, Cozen O'Connor, Divorce Train Wrecks, Gay, Gay Marriage, Job Searches, Jury Duty, Law Schools, Lesbians, Litigators, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Women's Issues
Morning Docket: 07.30.13
* The number of women arguing before the Supreme Court is still small, but most of its appellate practitioners follow sage advice like this: “Clerk, work, and don’t be a jerk.” [National Law Journal]
* If you were curious about whether gays and lesbians could be excluded from juries on the basis of their sexual orientation, the Ninth Circuit is about to lay down the law. [New York Times]
* Now that the Supreme Court has ruled in Windsor, Cozen O’Connor will be forced to give a deceased partner’s profit-sharing benefits to her wife, and not her parents. [Legal Intelligencer]
* Who are Biglaw’s top innovators of the last 50 years? There are many familiar names, but one of them is near and dear to our own hearts at Above the Law: It’s our managing editor, David Lat. Congratulations! [Am Law Daily]
* If you’re making a career change to go to law school, you should think about why the the hell you’d do such a thing right now — or try to leverage it in applications. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
* In a surprise move, Wendi Murdoch, better known as Rupert Murdoch’s soon-to-be ex-wife, has hired William Zabel to represent her in the divorce. This is going to get very, very messy. [New York Times]
* “Why you mad, bro?” Brian Zulberti, the man with the muscles, is trying to make the most of his 15 minutes of fame. He’s lined up several job interviews, so wish him good luck. [Delaware News Journal]
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Biglaw, Crime, Death Penalty, Department of Justice, Eric Holder, Federal Government, General Counsel, Google / Search Engines, In-House Counsel, Jury Duty, Law Professors, Law Schools, Money, Morning Docket, Politics, Small Law Firms, Technology, Wall Street
Morning Docket: 07.29.13
* When it comes to the U.S. Congress — especially the current one, said to be the least productive and least popular in history — and federal lawmaking, “action isn’t the same as accomplishment.” [Boston Globe]
* The Department of Justice won’t seek the death penalty against Edward Snowden, but only because the crime he’s charged with doesn’t carry that kind of punishment as an option. But oh, Eric Holder can wish. [CNN]
* Sorry to burst your bubble, but Biglaw as we know it is on a respirator, so be prepared to recite its last rites. The New Republic’s Noam Scheiber responds to the critics of last week’s hard-hitting piece. [New Republic]
* The grass isn’t greener on the other side right now. Revenue per lawyer rose at Biglaw firms in 2012 (up 8.5 percent), but small firms struggled (with RPL down 8.1 percent). Ouch. [National Law Journal]
* Let me Google that for you: Hot new technology startups have been looking to lawyers who hail from the innovative internet company’s ranks when staffing their own legal departments. [The Recorder]
* If you’re wondering why more financial crimes haven’t been prosecuted since the Wall Street meltdown of 2008, it’s probably because they’re too just difficult for most juries to understand. Comforting. [NPR]
* In a recent interview having to do with all of the problems that law schools are currently facing, from shrinkage to joblessness, Professor Paul Campos sat down to politely say, “Told ya so.” [Denver Post]
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Books, Guns / Firearms, Jury Duty, Trials
The Rise and Fall of Juror B37 and How Verdicts Are Made
Juror B37 has had a crazy couple of days, and her story tells us a lot about how juries behave. -
Crime, Jury Duty, Minority Issues, O.J. Simpson, Racism, Trials, Violence
Will George Zimmerman Join O.J. Simpson In The Hunt For Real Killers?
As George Zimmerman walks free, who is happy about it?
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Crime, Jury Duty, Minority Issues, Racism, Trials, Violence
George Zimmerman: NOT GUILTY
George Zimmerman has been found not guilty. UPDATE (10:16 p.m.): Here are more details and commentary on the Zimmerman trial verdict. -
B for Beauty, Conferences / Symposia, Constitutional Law, Eric Holder, Jury Duty, Law Professors, Law Schools, Media and Journalism, Murder, Non-Sequiturs, Weddings
Non-Sequiturs: 06.20.13
* If you thought Stephen Kaplitt’s epic cease-and-desist response was awesome, then you’ll love this work of parody in response to the response, courtesy of New York Law School. [Legal As She Is Spoke] * Eric Holder comes clean on his involvement with the James Rosen search warrant, and to the chagrin of many, he isn’t plotting the death of journalism. That, or he’s a big liar. You pick. [Volokh Conspiracy] * George Zimmerman is going to be staring down an all-female jury for the next few weeks in his murder trial. And let me tell you, that’s going to be so much fun when everyone’s cycles start to sync up. [CNN] * It’s amazing that the Framers’ intentions can be applied to true love. Best wishes to Ilya Shapiro on his new marriage. Professor Josh Blackman is one hell of a wedding speaker. [CATO @ Liberty] * Is there an appropriate way to deal with cosmetic surgery — like a breast enlargement, breast reduction, or a nose job — in the office? Just be ready for people to talk about you. [Corporette] * Former Above the Law columnist Jay Shepherd offers up the secret to lawyer happiness in just six minutes, while taking shots at the world’s largest law firm and the world’s shortest movie star. [jayshep] -
Guns / Firearms, Jury Duty
Judge Makes Obvious Rulings In Trayvon Martin Case
Defense lawyers exhibit an ulterior motive in pushing for prejudicial evidence. -
Celebrities, Crime, Drinking, Jury Duty, Quote of the Day
Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild Calls Jurors 'Retards'
This Girls Gone Wild mogul has some rather choice words for the jurors who convicted him. -
Death Penalty, Gambling, Gambling / Gaming, Jury Duty, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Religion, Sentencing Law, State Attorneys General, Tax Law, Videos
Morning Docket: 05.23.13
* Online gambling wants to come back to the U.S. after the government cracked down last year. Anybody want odds on whether this works? [Wall Street Journal]
* In news that only affects those who want to dress like whores, Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister may systematically mistreat the disabled. [Fox News]
* Post-disaster price gouging is sad, but inevitable. Oklahoma’s Attorney General E. Scott Pruitt is having none of it. [The National Law Journal]
* Obama will address drone policy and Gitmo in a security speech today because, after the last couple weeks of scandal, he’s hoping to introduce fodder for another round of withering criticism. [Huffington Post]
* The Daily Caller is all over the idea that Michelle Obama may have dated the Inspector General of the IRS at Harvard Law. Which proves… actually I have no idea if the Daily Caller even knows why this might be significant. [Daily Caller]
* U.S. and Chinese law schools are collaborating more. American law schools are really desperate to open themselves to more students, aren’t they? [China Daily]
* The Jodi Arias jury may not be able to make a decision on sentencing. If you cared about this story at all, you’ve already heard Nancy Grace’s opinion. [NBC News]
* Elie argues with folks about Greece v. Galloway and legislative prayer. Video after the jump… [Huff Post Live]
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Crime, Death Penalty, Jury Duty, Murder, Nancy Grace, Trials
Breaking: The Jodi Arias Verdict Is In
What did the jury decide? -
Intellectual Property, Jury Duty, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Movies, Non-Sequiturs, Prisons, Technology
Non-Sequiturs: 04.29.13
* The saddest thing about prisons getting rated on Yelp is owning the bar down the street with fewer stars. [Simple Justice] * Sending “LOL totes glty” is a bad idea. [IT-Lex] * The chief of the Brooklyn DA’s gang bureau probably should have spent more time with the civil rights bureau. [NY Post] * People don’t really pay attention to the U.S. News Best Intellectual Property Program rankings — though it’d help if they did. [Science to Law] * UNLV’s Nancy Rapoport thinks law schools are no better than Enron. That sounds about right. [TaxProf Blog] * When it comes to the Boston bombings, Logan Beirne answers, “What would George Washington do?” [Reuters] * Tenure has put a crimp in the ability of law schools to excel in the ranking system that considers publication. [Ramblings on Appeal] * Kickstarter plug: A progressive Yale student took a year off to make a documentary about a conservative activist group, the Tennessee 9-12 Project, to show civility and respect. [Kickstarter]