Word about Harvard law professor Laurence Tribe's rather odd commencement address at New York University is spreading rapidly throughout the blogosphere. It's already been picked up by Gawker and Instapundit. Here's an eyewitness account from an NYU alum:

Larry Tribe just gave a seriously weird commencement address at NYU -- especially the end, where he turns an amalgam of cosmologist / 60s love child, and tells all the grads to thank their mom and dad for screwing instead of watching TV, and thereby conceiving them....

Not to be too tough on Tribe, but I think the basic theme of the speech was that he's really, really smart and well read, and knows how to turn creative, even strange, phrases. (I thought we already knew that.)

How did Tribe get picked? Some speculation from our source:

I really think the only reason Tribe was honored, and got to speak, is that he was a key mentor to John Sexton, the president of NYU. Tribe probably recommended Sexton to be the NYU law dean, and then the NYU president, so this looks like payback.

Tribe has accomplished enough to have gotten the degree on his own merits, and I don't begrudge him it, but I'm sure the audience would have loved to have his co-recipient, Michael J. Fox, speak instead of Tribe -- Fox is vastly better known, and liked. On this point, see here.

Posted below is the "thank mom and dad for bonking" clip. A more detailed write-up from our tipster, after the jump.

No, that's not some insult hurled at the distinguished constitutional law professor by a right-wing zealot; it's a fact. From a memorandum that went out to Harvard Law School students this morning:

In order to help you plan your spring schedules, I need to let you know that Professor Laurence Tribe’s class this spring is being cancelled because he has recently been diagnosed with a brain tumor that is benign but will require medical treatment. Professor Tribe has asked me to convey this information and his regrets about this necessary decision.

We wish Professor Tribe the best of luck with his treatment regimen, as well as a speedy recovery.

From one tipster:

It's just a matter of time before knee-jerk dittohead-wannabes bust out jokes like "Isn't liberalism a form of a brain disorder?" Then again, this could end up straight out of Woody Allen's Everyone Says I Love You, if the removal of the brain tumor turns Tribe into a fire-breathing right-winger.

Professor Tribe is a public figure, and he has surely had every epithet in the book leveled at him, multiple times. Nevertheless, even if he's a big boy (who has better things to do than read blog comments), please keep the discussion civil. Thanks.

In a recent post about Peter Barta, the Legal Aid lawyer who allegedly videotaped his female colleagues as they were getting undressed, we ranked on policy debaters.

Maybe we should take it back. From a highly informative reader email:

Not all former policy debaters are creeps. Here's a list of former policy debaters who are current or future legal rock stars:

Justice Samuel Alito, Judge Merrick Garland, Larry Tribe, Louis Kaplow, Erwin Chemerinsky, NYU President John Sexton, Jonathan Massey, David Boies, Tom Goldstein, Rebecca Tushnet, Annie Kastanek (OT 2007/Kennedy), and John Hughes (OT 2005/Thomas; pictured at right, captured in mid-debate).

Former policy debaters, please accept our apologies. We did extemp and L-D debate in high school, and we generally viewed C-X debaters with suspicion. They struck us as kids who talked reallyreallyfast, warning constantly of nuclear war. But maybe we were wrong.

To paraphrase the "ignorant tipster" from the Oona O'Connell story: "We feel kind of bad that we prejudged them. Sorry to sound like an afterschool special. But you know what? Perhaps we learned a lesson today. Good on you. 'The more you know.'"

Earlier: Reading the Bartameter (Part 3): What Is Up With Those Policy Debaters?

(We're filling in today for Stella Q, who has more pressing -- and billable -- matters to attend to.)

* Super-needy partners are the worst to work for. We knew of one partner who would summon an associate from another floor to retrieve a document from her printer and bring it in to her -- because she couldn't be bothered to stand up, walk outside to her secretary's station, and get it herself. (This was after hours, and her secretary was gone.) [New York Times]

* Barack Obama draws on Tribe-al support -- from Laurence Tribe, that is, and the Harvard Law School mafia. We still feel bad for poor, betrayed Hillary. [New York Observer]

* While we're on the subject of '08, check it out: election lawyers are in demand. Who says popular specialties have to be boring? [Politico]

* ATL Public Service Announcement: If you didn't file your 2003 tax return, and are owed a refund, you need to act fast -- or kiss that money good-bye. [TaxProf Blog]

* Brokeback Lawfirm continues to get play on the other side of the pond. [TheLawyer.com]

It has been a while since our last round-up of notable moves within the legal profession. So there's a lot to report today:

Law Firm to... Prison?

* Former Milberg Weiss name partner Steven Schulman resigned from the firm to pursue “new ventures.” The most important of these "ventures" will surely be fighting federal charges of making illegal payments to plaintiffs in past cases.

Law Firms to In-House:

* Securities lawyer Stephen Cutler is leaving his partnership at WilmerHale to become general counsel of J.P. Morgan Chase & Co., the banking giant. From a tipster who works in securities law: "This is a big deal."

Colleagues of Cutler described the JP Morgan gig to the WSJ Law Blog as a "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity. Translation: Who wouldn't want to make mid- instead of low-seven-figures?

* Another WilmerHale departure: J. Kevin McCarthy is taking over as top lawyer of the Cowen Group, an investment bank.

Government to Private Sector:

* Former New Jersey Chief Justice Deborah Poritz joins the Princeton office of Drinker Biddle & Reath, as of counsel. She stepped down from the New Jersey Supreme Court in October, after reaching the mandatory retirement age.

Government Promotion:

* David Nocenti, current counsel to New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, will become counsel to the governor effective January 1.

Academia-Biglaw Alliance:

* Harvard Law School Professor Laurence Tribe, the renowned constitutional scholar and SCOTUS litigator, is entering into a consulting arrangement with Akin Gump.

Akin Gump is developing a Supreme Court practice. Earlier this year, they added young SCOTUS superstar Tom Goldstein to their line-up.

Lateral Moves:

* Securities-enforcement lawyer Chuck Davidow, to Paul Weiss (DC), from WilmerHale.

Another loss for WilmerHale -- on top of the previously reported departure of Paul Eckert for the White House Counsel's Office.

Why are so many partners leaving WilmerHale? A Hillary Clinton administration is still two years away.

* IP lawyer Joseph Gioconda, to DLA Piper (New York), from Kirkland & Ellis.

* Corporate lawyer Eric Lerner, to Kramer Levin, from Katten Muchin Rosenman.

* Tax lawyer Thomas Giegerich, to McDermott Will & Emery (NY), from Dewey Ballantine (about to merge with Orrick to form Dewy Orifice).

New Partners:

* Bryan Cave: Eleven new partners. Names here.

Due to the sheer number of links today, we've placed them after the jump.

Professor Laurence Tribe of Harvard Law School is one of the country's most distinguished constitutional scholars and Supreme Court advocates. Having argued before the Court numerous times, Professor Tribe has no fear of the coutroom.

So why did Professor Tribe flee from the Ames Courtroom of Harvard Law School last Thursday? He was scheduled to judge a moot court for Meredith v. Jefferson County Board of Education, the school desegregation case that the Supreme Court will hear next month. But before the arguments began, Professor Tribe bolted from the coutroom, leaving an empty swivel chair on the bench.

From The Harvard Crimson:

Laurence H. Tribe ’62, the Loeb University professor at Harvard, was scheduled to judge the moot court but had to leave upon notice that his dog, Chloe, had been found “shaking like a leaf” on the streets. The traumatized Chloe had fled the sound of a fire alarm in Tribe’s house, jumped a fence, and raced down Brattle Street, where a passerby waited with her while Tribe dashed the mile to the rescue.

Chloe was fine, if “badly-shaken,” said Tribe.

What set off the fire alarm in Larry Tribe's house? A bonfire of Scalia opinions?

(Gavel bang: How Appealing.)

Desegration Case Argued at Law School [Harvard Crimson]

* None of this really sounds all that bad, but "Christmas bonuses" makes a good headline. [CNN]

* When this goes to court, will "Vaughnifer" be an official legal entity? [MSNBC]

* Can't argue with a 99-page decision. Or read one. [New York Times]

* Wait, so he DIDN'T defraud investors out of millions of dollars? This would be the "deny, appeal, and decease" defense. [NYT]

* "'The book is for those who are more right-brain than left-brain,' says Tribe, often considered to be the brains of the legal left." [Harvard Crimson]

Tune in for legal tidbits AND fantasy football advice tomorrow.

Recently we asked you for juicy gossip about gigantic legal fees. We didn't expect to receive a response so quickly. From the WSJ Law Blog:

NYU Law School professor Burt Neuborne worked for nearly eight years to help Holocaust survivors win a $1.25 billion settlement from Swiss banks accused of helping the Nazis steal Jewish property. He then submitted a bill for $4,760,000. The rest, as they say, is controversy.

New York magazine has a feature on the fee flap. A group of Holocaust survivors are furious with Neuborne for charging so much money for his services. Many say they thought Neuborne had taken the case pro bono and that he had said so many times. The executive director of the World Jewish Congress calls the bill a “moral disgrace.” Neuborne already made $4.4 million in a similar suit against German industry.

This got us thinking about other law professors who handle litigation or serve as consultants on the side -- and get paid handsomely for it. A few examples off the top of our head: Laurence Tribe, of Harvard Law School (litigation, esp. appellate litigation); Alan Dershowitz, also of HLS (helping to get rich people out of deep doo-doo); George Priest, of Yale Law School (consulting, expert witness service); Dean Dan Fischel, of the University of Chicago (law and economics consulting).

In the comments to this post -- or by email if you prefer -- please share with us any dirt on this subject. The more specific the information -- dollar figures if you know them (or can guess) -- the better. Thanks!

The Neuborne Fee Flap Takes Center Stage [WSJ Law Blog]
Getting His Due: NYU Law Professor Burt Neuborne Was Hailed as a Hero. Then He Submitted His Bill [New York Magazine]

Earlier: Legal Fee Voyeurism: Seeking Submissions

Celebrity sighting columns are a staple of gossip magazines and gossip blogs. E.g., Gawker Stalker, Wonk'd, Judicial Sightations. So, in this spirit, we proudly present The Eyes of the Law -- your source for all the legal celebrity sightings that are fit to print (and a few that aren't).

Since we don't get out that much -- we get an electrical shock if we stray ten feet from our keyboard -- we need your help. We'll need you to make the sightings and submit them to us, by email (subject line: "Sighting"). Then we'll publish them on the internet, for all the world to enjoy. (We've already received a few; keep 'em coming!)

A few tips and guidelines to help you in your celeb-spotting:

(1) When you make a sighting, please be as observant as possible. How was the person looking -- hot, or not? What were they wearing? What kind of mood were they in? Were they alone, or with others?

(2) On a related note, digital photographs to support your sighting are especially welcome. A thousand words, etc.

(3) A true "sighting" requires seeing the personality outside of their natural habitat -- and preferably doing something that one might not expect them to be doing. So sightings of federal judges in courthouses and law school deans in the halls of their schools don't count. But we welcome sightings of judges or deans at, say, a baseball game -- or, better yet, a nudie bar.

Here are the types of people who qualify as sighting subjects in our book:

(1) any federal judge (but we're talking Article III here -- no bankruptcy or magistrate judges, ick);

(2) any member of a state's highest court;

(3) a state court judge from a lower court, but only if they're notorious for doing the kinds of things that state court judges are known for doing (e.g., using a penis pump on the bench, facilitating the escape of a violent felon, etc.);

(4) famous practicing lawyers, like David Boies, Ted Olson, Mark Geragos, or Ben Brafman (if you have to explain who they are, they're not famous);

(5) prominent law school deans, like current Yale dean Harold Koh, current Harvard dean Elena Kagan, and former Stanford dean Kathleen Sullivan;

(6) well-known law professors, like Laurence Tribe, Lawrence Lessig, Lani Guinier, or Anita Hill (no, your first-year legal writing instructor doesn't count); and

(7) law-related television personalities, like Judge Judy Sheindlin, Nancy Grace, or Jeffrey Toobin.

This list is not exhaustive; we may have overlooked certain categories of legal eagles that we'd like you to spot. But it gives you a good idea of the kinds of people we're interested in.

So enough idle chatter; get to it. Rustle up some juicy sightings, and submit them to us forthwith, by email. Much thanks!