Above the Law

Recent Headlines from Above the Law

 

This is pretty archaic.

* Being a mass murderer wouldn’t be any fun if you couldn’t play video games. Also, let’s Upworthy this: Elie tells a story about himself dancing naked… you won’t believe what happens next. [ATL Redline]

* Ted Wells of Paul Weiss finally got off his duff and issued his report on the harassment situation in the Miami Dolphins locker room. [Deadspin]

* ♫Rubber Duckie, you’re the one, you make state legislative sessions drafting complicated statutes allowing gambling on racing you so much fun!♫ [Lowering the Bar]

* From the “dick moves” file, this guy put up a Craigslist ad pimping out his neighbor without her knowledge or consent. From the f**king idiot files, this guy had no idea how easy it would be for the authorities to track him down. [IT-Lex]

* Is the aggressive lateral partner recruitment strategy bringing results? [Adam Smith, Esq.]

* There’s pretty much nothing OK with the new gay segregation law in Kansas. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* The Virginia decision legalizing gay marriage made one slight misstatement. “Our Constitution declares that ‘all men’ are created equal.” Really? Does it now? [Josh Blackman's Blog; WSJ Law Blog]

* Intelligence Squared held a debate last night between Pentagon Papers whistleblower Daniel Ellsberg and the ACLU’s Ben Wizner against former prosecutor (not Weekend at Bernie’s star) Andrew McCarthy and former CIA Director R. James Woolsey on the question: Snowden Was Justified. The video is embedded after the jump…. [Intelligence Squared]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 02.14.14″

Bradley Cooper: a very handsome man, but sadly not a lawyer.

Seemingly random small-firm lawyers from Alabama weren’t the only legal types in attendance at the White House State Dinner on Tuesday evening. Indeed, as we’ve previously noted, numerous legal celebrities attended the festivities as well.

Sure, there were some “celebrity celebrities” at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue that night. The guest list included such boldface names as J.J. Abrams, Stephen Colbert, Bradley Cooper, Mindy Kaling, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

But who cares about Hollywood? Above the Law readers are more interested in the government lawyers, federal judges, Biglaw partners and law professors who attended this major social event….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “18 Legal Celebrities At The White House State Dinner”

* Kentucky joins all those other liberal bastions in recognizing gay marriages. [The Courier-Journal (Louisville)]

* Brilliant… especially the last line. [The Onion]

* Legal luminaries at last night’s White House State Dinner included Justice Elena Kagan, Secretary Jeh Johnson, and ATL’s reigning Lawyer of the Year, Roberta Kaplan. [White House]

* An EMT-trained judge came to the rescue of a criminal defendant critically injured in a car accident. She was assisted by several other criminal defendants due to appear before her that day. When they finally made it to court, she sentenced him to death row. Just kidding, but admit it, that would have been the better ending. [Albuquerque Journal]

* A tipster asks if this guy is the most embarrassing HLS grad. Isn’t Ted Cruz still around? [Associated Press via ABC15]

* Judge Victor Marerro is none too pleased to have to do this whole MF Global case. [Dealbreaker]

* The winter weather in Minnesota is continuing to make lawyers crazy. This time the bug allegedly bit Frank Schulte, who is accused of freaking out at the “mere sight of a car parked too far from the curb for his liking,” battering the car, punching the driver, and hurling racial epithets. Just as warm and fuzzy as the Mary Tyler Moore show made it seem. [CityPages]

* What courts could learn from AA meetings. [Law and More]

* A few events coming up for sports law fans in New York. This Friday, Fordham is hosting its 18th Annual Sports Law Symposium covering issues from the Redskins to Jay-Z. Then a week later, New York Law School is hosting an event on doping, the NCAA, and getting into the sports business on February 21. [Sports Agent Blog]


Richie Incognito, the Miami Dolphins football player under scrutiny after allegedly bullying teammate Jonathan Martin, in an annoyed tweet directed towards Ted Wells, a partner at Paul Weiss who was appointed by the NFL to lead the investigation as to workplace misconduct. The firm says Wells’s report won’t be ready “for another week or two.”

Microsoft General Counsel Brad Smith

* Microsoft’s General Counsel was once asked to help police stop a serial killer because he’s Batman. [Business Insider]

* Former Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood is joining DLA Piper. A transportation expert is exactly what you need for a firm that doesn’t know where its offices are. [Chicago Tribune]

* The legal fallout of the fight between Nick Saban’s daughter and her friend is now sitting in front of an Alabama judge. One thing is certain: this case would get dismissed if somebody could’ve avoid a 100 yard FG return for a touchdown. [ABC News]

* Congratulations to Paul Weiss on winning “Securities Litigation Department of the Year.” The award could also be called, “Wow, you helped Citi get out of a lot of jams this year!” [The American Lawyer]

* A KU law grad is donating $1 million to provide scholarships to a new generation of Jayhawk lawyers to run their firm’s March Madness brackets. [Topeka Capital-Journal]

This is the latest in a new series of ATL infographics — visual representations of our own proprietary data, relevant third-party data, “anecdata,” or just plain jokes. This infographic is brought to you by our friends at Prestige Legal Search. Earn another $5,000 to $50,000 with their Rewards Program.

For the most part, Biglaw associate bonuses remain stuck at last year’s levels, reflecting expectations that firm profits will be flat at best. This might seem fair, with everyone feeling the pinch of the “New Normal” and so on. But when we take a small step back and see how these bonus numbers compare as a percentage of partner profits to the bonuses of just a few years ago, these bonuses are arguably pretty measly.

The current $10,000 “market” (i.e., Cravath-following) rate for first-years is just 0.29% of Cravath’s profits per partner (according to the American Lawyer). Back in 2007, first-year bonuses equaled 1.36% of PPP. In other words, the Cravath partnership was nearly five times more generous to its associates back then.

Obviously, Cravath is among the most profitable firms in the world. What are the implications of matching Cravath’s bonus scale for those firms with much lower profit margins? Today’s infographic takes a look at how big a hit to PPP partners willingly take in order to Keep Up With The Cravathians….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “2013 Biglaw Bonuses: An ATL Infographic”

Our ten nominees for 2013 Lawyer of the Year honors were a distinguished and diverse group. They included a Supreme Court justice, a U.S. Attorney, a governor, a law school dean, and some of Biglaw’s brightest stars. They also included a plaintiffs’ lawyer accused of awful acts, a shameless self-promoter fond of letting it all hang out, and a young attorney with a problematic sideline. We cover it all here at Above the Law.

Our prior winners have come from the savory rather than salacious side of the ledger. Here are ATL’s past Lawyers of the Year:

For 2013, who will join their distinguished ranks? Let’s find out….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Above the Law’s 2013 Lawyer of the Year Competition: The Winner!”

The guy in today’s story didn’t dress up like Gumby, but it’s still an amazingly stupid disguise.

* Man tried to rob a convenience store so he could go back to prison. And he almost screwed that up… [KMOV]

* The CIA’s former lawyer explains how torture came to be a go-to national policy. According to John Rizzo, author of the forthcoming Company Man (affiliate link), George W. Bush basically had no conception of what was going on, which makes a lot of sense anyway. [The New Yorker]

* Brooklyn Law’s Dean Nick Allard makes predictions for law schools in 2014. “[P]eople will look back at 2014 and say it marked the start of the new world of law: a renaissance where the respect and reputation of lawyers and law schools began to rise by measurable benchmarks.” Go ahead and laugh, I’ll wait. [TaxProf Blog]

* Paul, Weiss picks up tax partner Scott Sontag from Weil Gotshal. (Congrats to both firms, by the way, on tying for the #9 spot in our list of top-ranked law firms for 2013.) [Paul, Weiss]

* Nooooooooooooo! Judge Richard Kopf is ending his blog. [Hercules and the Umpire]

* And the hits keep on coming. Professor Kyle Graham is also leaving the blogosphere. [Non Curat Lex]

* The Ninth Circuit will start streaming all of its oral arguments next week. If you want to help them out, tune in. No promises that the panel will excoriate any prosecutors this time. [Ninth Circuit]

In the two years that we’ve been conducting our ATL Insider Survey, we’ve amassed in excess of 15,500 responses from practicing lawyers and law students. These results have provided us with unique insights into what people really think about their employers and schools. We believe our survey information furnishes our readers with a deep resource for comparing and evaluating these organizations, whether in the form of our Law Firm and Law School Directories, or in posts that take a deeper look at such factors as practice area, compensation, or geographic location. Many thanks to those thousands of readers who have shared their experiences.

Obviously, one subject that the ATL readership is passionate about is the world of Biglaw. Whether it’s to assess a potential employer, or to simply see how one’s firm compares to its peers, apparently there’s no end to the appetite for insider information. So as this year winds down, we’ll end on a happy note and have a look at which Biglaw firms are rated most highly by their own employees…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “ATL’s 12 Top Rated Firms For 2013″

Last week, we joked about the glacial pace of the 2013 Biglaw bonus season. After all, Cravath made its announcement on December 9, and in that time, we’ve only heard from as many firms as days have passed since that time — seven.

Well, maybe things are finally heating up. Yesterday afternoon, two more firms sent out word of their associate bonuses by class.

We know Paul Weiss is looking hot, hot, hot these days, but were their bonuses just as sexy? And what about the bonuses at Bracewell & Giuliani, a firm that posted a double-digit increase in gross revenue?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Paul Weiss Lawyers Don’t Think Bonus Is So Nice
(Plus Bonus News From Bracewell & Giuliani)”

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