Law Reviews

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Above the Law has a new program to highlight student scholarship. Get yourself in the pages of Above the Law with none of the public humiliation.

There's a thief at Harvard Law School -- you don't have to hide your valuables, just your work.

Aspiring law students will do the stupidest things to convince law schools to love them.

Perhaps even the Buckeyes’ main law journal rolls harder than the Tide.

* Law students (and prospective law students)! Figure out your expected class rank with this handy calculator. [Witnesseth]

* Elie wonders if law students are getting dumber. [Redline]

* Great law review article, or greatest law review article? Judge M. Margaret McKeown’s “Culinary Ambiguity: A Canonical Approach To Deciphering Menus.” [Harvard Law Review]

* Remember the lawyer caught billing 29-hour days? The guy pleaded his case to the Ohio Supreme Court and they won’t give him the time of day. [Ohio Supreme Court]

* Veterans Day seems like the right time to remember the Feres Doctrine, which bars armed forces personnel from suing the government for negligence. How ridiculous is the Feres Doctrine? Justice Scalia thinks we need to allow more negligence suits! [Legal Funding Central]

* A sad story of a married partner romancing a married young associate that ends in her death. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly]

* If you support Obamacare, is there any reason for optimism in King v. Burwell? [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* In case you were ever interested in eminent domain in a galaxy far, far away. [The Legal Geeks]

* Casino sends promotions to “compulsive gamblers” on a voluntary opt-out list. The casino calls it a “software issue.” What are the odds on that? [Ars Technica]

* A former Texas judge earned a reprimand for violating the state constitution and seven ethical canons in three years. Gauntlet thrown, judges aspiring to enter our pages. [Houston Chronicle]

* Eric Holder gave millions to Nazis! Or at least that’s how Darrell Issa will put it. But seriously, the Department of Justice has a long-standing policy of allowing Nazi war criminals to collect Social Security payments if they agree to get the hell out of the U.S. [Associated Press via New Europe] * A Cleveland attorney, Peter Pattakos, is not worried about contracting Ebola, even though he was in a room with a current Ebola patient, because Pattakos is neither a crazy person nor a cable news producer and realizes that he never exchanged bodily fluids with the patient. As he points out, “I’m much more likely to be mistakenly killed by a police officer in this country than to be killed by Ebola, even if you were in the same bridal shop.” [Cleveland.com] * Chanel is suing What About Yves for trademark infringement. The question Professor Colman asks is whether “we really want a trademark ‘protection’ regime in which mark ‘owners’ can prevent creative, non-confusing uses of ‘their property.'” [Law of Fashion] * One for the career alternatives file: Miami lawyer who ranks local restaurants opens his own restaurant. At ATL we rank law schools, maybe we should open our own law school. [Southern District of Florida Blog] * Academic publishers fighting the war on common sense by charging an arm and a leg for access to research that is written and peer reviewed by other people for free scored a victory on Friday when the Eleventh Circuit rejected the lower court’s articulation of educational fair use in the digital age. [The Chronicle of Higher Education] * Balancing parenthood and the “jealous mistress” that is the practice of law. [Jed Cain] * An amazing symposium on campaign finance reform from the NYU Law Review and the Brennan Center for Justice. It’s a wealth of content. [NYU Law Review] * Josh Gilliland from The Legal Geeks gave a presentation on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Law at the San Diego Comic Fest, which sounds much more fun than any “and the Law” class I ever took. He’s provided his slideshow presentation…

* Congratulations (and good luck) to our nation’s new ebola czar — who happens to be a high-profile lawyer. [ATL Redline] * An update on the Charleston Law/InfiLaw drama. [Post and Courier] * If they had only taken the pink underwear off the patient before he woke up, he wouldn’t have his panties in a bunch. [Huffington Post] * Getting people to read law review articles is hard enough; why put them behind a wall? [TaxProf Blog] * It’s funny that Floridian lawyers are having such a bad reaction to Bad Judge, since the show could actually be reality TV down there. [Daily Business Review (sub. req.)] * Career advice: if you aspire to the federal judiciary, try to avoid writing blog posts about biting girls in the butt. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly (sub. req.)] * Congrats to lawyer Lisa Smith on winning the Pitch Week book competition at the When Words Count Retreat! [Street Insider]

What kind of silver bullet could kill this venerable institution?

* Because it’s been such a long time since the NFL has had a scandal, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is accused of sexual assault in a new suit. The Cowboys claim the suit is nothing but a money grab. No one knows a money grab like a franchise owner milking a new stadium partially financed by taxpayers. [USAToday] * Dean Frank Wu explains why Hastings will survive the end of law schools. [SF Weekly] * A pair of IP litigators, James W. Dabney and Stephen S. Rabinowitz, have jumped from Fried Frank to Hughes Hubbard. Will others be following Dabney & Rabinowitz out of Fried Frank? [Hughes Hubbard] * “Lawyer’s ‘Torture Porn’ Past Pops Up in Pa. Governor’s Race.” OK, let’s see what you’ve got here. [Greedy Associates / FindLaw] * An interesting breakdown of the legal scholars with the widest network of co-authors. Think of these as the most promiscuous scholars around. Actually, no. Don’t think that. [Ryan Whalen] * Etsy sides with the USPTO and bans sales of anything branded “Redskins” on its platform. I’m not sure how smart this is since the economic teeth of the USPTO decision was to allow sites like Etsy to sell massive quantities of otherwise trademark-infringing stuff until Washington relented and opted for a new trademark-protectable name. [Etsy] * Don’t throw peanut butter in my neighborhood (though I don’t understand the blotter… there’s no Bodega at that location). [Legal Juice] * Lest you think law school is reasonably priced: “New IBR and PSLF provide benefits large enough that high earnings still result in nearly $100,000 in loan forgiveness for typical levels of debt for law school graduates. A lawyer earning at the 50th percentile with that debt level stands to have $147,282 forgiven, which is more than he borrowed…” [New America Education Policy Program] * Keeping in touch with your inner child to relate to witnesses as humans. [Katz Justice] * Closing out this football-heavy NS, friend of the blog Mitchell Epner discusses why Roger Goodell won’t (and shouldn’t) survive the fallout of the Ray Rice scandal. Check out the video after the jump… [CNBC]

This law student did something pretty crazy. What in the world was he thinking?

Seriously? What was this law student thinking?

Being published in a law journal is kind of a big deal, but not as big of a deal as this law student would have you think.

That's one way to study Constitutional Law...

* The Supreme Court won’t be blocking gay marriages from occurring in Oregon pending an appeal. Maybe it’s because the request wasn’t filed by the state, or maybe it’s because Justice Kennedy is the man. [National Law Journal]

* “To err is human. To make a mistake and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge it — that’s judicial.” This Ninth Circuit judge wants his colleagues to get over themselves. Please pay attention to him, SCOTUS. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Cheerio mates! As it turns out, according to a recent stress study, lawyers at Magic Circle firms in Merry Olde England are more miserable than their American colleagues. [The Lawyer via The Careerist]

* Donald Sterling dropped his $1 billion lawsuit against the NBA and agreed to the sale of the Clippers to Steve Ballmer for $2 billion. Lawyers for Skadden have been sent back to warm the bench. [Bloomberg]

* In a surprise move, InfiLaw pulled its application for a license to run Charleston Law into the ground the day before a vote was supposed to be held. At least the opposition won this battle. [Post and Courier]

* The Yale Law School Clinic is representing a deported Army veteran seeking a pardon and humanitarian parole. Aww, look at that, experiential learning can be beneficial for everyone involved. [Hartford Courant]

* Sad day for Jonathan Lee Riches. His lawsuit over Johnny Manziel’s penis has been thrown out of court. [Black Sports Online] * Hot on the heels of yesterday’s item about SCOTUS porn parties, Professor Tribe guest blogs about his new book (affiliate link) and coercion, bribery, and influence. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * Former Brooklyn DA and aspiring TV star Charles Hynes is staring down larceny accusations. [Gothamist] * Texas basically assigns a cop to actively discourage investigate indigent parties seeking assigned counsel. [Socialist Gumshoe] * The Supreme Court doesn’t like talking about patents — its opinions on the subject are getting shorter and shorter. [Patently-O] * A lawyer is in hot water for allowing underaged drinking at a post prom party. The point was to keep the kids from driving. But no good deed goes unpunished. [Turn to 10] * An interesting profile of one of my favorite professors, Ken Feinberg, labeling him “the lawyer who decides what a life is worth.” Yikes. [KDVR] * The business strategy of just telling clients what they want to hear deflates. [Dealbreaker] * Who says no one reads law reviews? The porn industry does and they really like this student Note. [XBiz] * This is why we can’t have nice things. Second Circuit explains that if a revolving door agency of sycophants says it’s OK, it’s OK. Full opinion below…. [New York Times]

How should a law review handle its diversity issues?

* Pennsylvania’s Governor Tom Corbett, who really wants to win his reelection vote in November, won’t appeal the decision striking down the state’s ban on gay marriage, making him the third governor to concede after a major loss in court. [Bloomberg]

* Sen. Ted Kennedy finally received his diploma from UVA Law, albeit posthumously. The school’s registrar kept it for more than half a century — they didn’t have his address. Lucky guy never received donation letters, either. [National Law Journal]

* An associate is suing her former boss for six figures after he allegedly sent her erotic emails about his fantasy workplace affair. Her fantasy of loan repayment may come true if she wins this case. [Oregonian]

* Apple’s general counsel Bruce Sewell gave some pretty great advice to recent graduates at GW Law: “Be someone [your boss] can talk to, rather than someone she can give orders to.” [Corporate Counsel]

* The New Mexico Law Review is dedicating an upcoming issue to articles related to Breaking Bad, which officially makes it one of the only law reviews whose pages will be read by human beings. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Remember when I said it was a bad idea to drop off a drunk in Ireland? This is EXACTLY why. [The Independent (Dublin)] * Oh, Cooley Law School… don’t ever change. [The Faculty Lounge] * Republican tort-reform advocate settles overblown personal injury suit. Oh the irony. [The Hutchinson News] * Check that, this is even more ironic. [The Chronicle of Higher Education] * The U.S. Postal Service helped kill an innovative, anti-junk-mail startup. You could say a bloated government agency is to blame. Or you could say cutting off the Post Office and forcing them to fund themselves through Faustian deals with junk mail distributors is to blame. Either way, a great idea was smothered. [Inside Sources] * Indicted former Virginia Governor and transvaginal ultrasound enthusiast Bob McDonnell has taken a gig as a visiting professor at an ATL Worst Law School finalist, Liberty Law. Of course. [The News & Advance (Lynchburg)] * Do you need to be on a law journal to succeed? [Huffington Post] * Can you get paid for sleeping on the job? Good question. [The Spitz Law Firm]