Lawyer of the Day

What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, but when you’re caught on camera with your pants around your ankles, you may experience some difficulty with that used-up, old cliché.

You’d think that attorneys would refrain from whipping it out in jail after learning about the guy who allegedly offered pro boner services to female inmates, but as usual, you’d be wrong. That being said, the next time you absolutely need to get off, you may want to take some advice from our Lawyer of the Day, Curtis Cannon. He’s facing up to four years in prison for allegedly dipping his Cannon balls in a jailed client’s mouth.

Because really, why bother with client service when you can get your clients to service you instead?

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While many would-be lawyers were busy taking the bar exam in July, actual lawyers (and law students) were allegedly busy behaving badly. We’ve singled out a lucky few for our Lawyer of the Month honors.

Some of our nominees have adopted unusual career alternatives, and others have allegedly adopted unusual sexual relationships. But who will come out on top in our monthly contest?

Take a look at our nominees for July’s Lawyer of the Month and find out….

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Okay, now imagine this with a shotgun.

A truly bizarre story is coming out of the woods of Indiana. An attorney, Peter Raventos, has been accused of staging his own shooting.

Police now believe that Raventos rigged a shotgun to shoot him in the back on June 25 at McCormick’s Creek State Park.

Thing is, nobody really knows why. Police haven’t released a suspected motive, and Raventos hasn’t commented on the allegations. But police have found the materials to make an elaborate booby trap that they contend Raventos set for himself.

See, this is the kind of weird ass stuff that happens to Midwesterners with too much time on their hands. I’ve lived in Indy, and there’s only so much time you can spend in the Steak ‘n Shake before you start thinking about things you can do with shotguns….

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Many of our past recipients of the Lawyer of the Day title have been accused of some pretty perverted conduct. Allegations of outrageous behavior, ranging from exposing an erection on a plane to offering “pro boner” assistance to female inmates, have spanned the great expanse of the continental United States. But we’ve never written about allegations of attorney misconduct that have made national headlines all the way from the sandy shores of the island state of Hawaii.

It would seem that one elderly attorney in Hawaii was more interested in servicing his clients than offering client service. You know you’re in trouble when a judge calls you a “dirty old man” in open court for engaging in some unwanted tongue action….

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It’s time to announce the winner of June’s Lawyer of the Month competition. Last month, we had a potpourri of lawyers allegedly behaving badly for readers to choose from. In the end, there was one clear winner, who stole almost 50 percent of the total vote (and one pair of candidates who were ROBBED of the award, but more on that later).

Let’s find out who took home the honorific of Lawyer of the Month — and while we’re at it, let’s pray that this character doesn’t sue us in some oddball filing for bestowing it upon him….

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June wasn’t exactly hot in terms of bonus payouts, but the weather sure heated up quickly. And thanks to the lawyers we’ve singled out for Lawyer of the Month candidacy, June turned into a real scorcher in terms of humorous legal antics and allegations of attorney misconduct.

While some lawyers allegedly participated in scandalous aeronautical activities, others were literally condemned to crappy community service projects. But who will come out on top in our monthly contest?

Take a look at our nominees for June’s Lawyer of the Month and find out….

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So, lawyers are people. Despite the importance of work, especially in Biglaw, sometimes personal life probably should take precedence over practicing law. Perhaps a wedding, a funeral, or maybe a particularly important religious holiday should win out.

But what about a defense attorney who wants to suspend a capital murder-for-hire trial to attend a look-alike contest for one of the greatest authors in American history? The short answer is: no dice. The slightly longer answer is a hilarious ruling from a federal judge denying the request….

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We’ve all had bad flying experiences. It is just part of life in modern America. My colleague Elie has been groped by the TSA, everyone has to deal with humorless flight crews, and even the lead singer from Green Day has been kicked off a plane for not pulling his pants up high enough. The list goes on.

Still, our Lawyer of the Day created quite a stir on a Continental flight from Los Angeles to Houston, even by today’s standards. Let’s meet the Mile-High Flasher, who also happens to be (for now) a lawyer in good standing in California and a graduate of Loyola Law School in New Orleans

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This community service stinks.

Ahh, “sh*t law.” In case you aren’t familiar with the term, it’s what some lawyers rudely and condescendingly call legal practice outside of Biglaw. From traffic tickets to personal injury, you name it, and it’s apparently a derivative of “sh*t law.”

Back in March, we brought you a story about Joseph Neal Jr., the apparent king of one of these so-called “sh*t law” practices in Augusta, Georgia. Neal, a prominent personal injury attorney, earned our Lawyer of the Day title after he and his ex-wife racked up criminal charges for allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting the family babysitter. Neal later went on to earn 21% of the vote in our March Lawyer of the Month competition.

Now, just a few short months later, Neal has been sentenced after accepting the terms of a plea bargain. The deal reduced a felony rape charge to two misdemeanors. Neal will serve three years of supervised probation, and he’ll also commit to a term of community service that some would call a bit of poetic justice….

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It’s time to announce the winner of May’s Lawyer of the Month competition. This time around, readers had five of our most entertaining lawyers to date to choose from, including allegedly outrageous emailers, super-rude letter writers, and penile picture painters. But at the end of the day, only one lawyer’s “[bleep]hole” was huge enough to get an edge over the rest of last month’s competition.

Let’s see who took home the title of Lawyer of the Month for May, an honor we certainly hope was worth losing his job over….

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