Lawyer of the Day

This girl is 1/64 Cherokee, tops.

Ever since white people arrived on this continent, we have been no end of trouble for Native Americans. You would think that after a certain point, Caucasians would give them a break. You know, after basically destroying their entire race and civilization.

But no, whitey still can’t even leave Native Americans alone to their casinos and endemic alcoholism. Which brings us to today’s Lawyers of the Day.

Which attorneys are being accused by a Florida tribe of a “secret and sophisticated scheme” to get rich off exorbitant and extraneous legal fees?

Let’s see….

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It’s time to announce the winner of February’s Lawyer of the Month competition. The slate of candidates our readers voted on was full of judicial divas, and their respective antics definitely overshadowed the rest of our competitors’ deeds (or misdeeds).

In a month where a lawyers filed a dozen class action lawsuits against law schools, you shrugged. In a month where a former Cravath associate lost his law license, you looked the other way. Instead, you opted to vote for a man who we assume to be a card-carrying member of the NRA.

Let’s take a look at February’s Lawyer of the Month. Grab your glocks when you see Tupac this judge….

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It’s time to crown February’s Lawyer of the Month. Yes, we realize that it’s a little late to be conducting a poll for February, but we’d still like to give our candidates a chance to extend their 15 minutes of fame (or infamy).

Last month, we saw some wacky antics from judges and former Biglaw associates, and some lawyering that has the potential to rock the world of legal education for the rest of time.

That being said, let’s check out our nominees for the month of February….

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It’s been quite a day here at Above the Law in terms of our coverage of lecherous lawyers, specifically those who like to leer at ladies.

For our Lawyer of the Day, we bring you yet another sordid story, this time about a prominent personal injury attorney; his young, gorgeous, allegedly abusive ex-wife; and the criminal charges they currently face for allegedly drugging and assaulting a young woman.

Whoa, that is a mouthful. Let’s sort this out, and check out some pictures of the former couple….

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Some people, once they have been defeated, simply give up and fade into the cold, dark night. But others refuse to lie down and be devoured by wolves. Like Liam Neeson, they tape broken bottles to their fingers and strap their hunting knives to their frostbitten hands and fight until there’s nothing left.

A now ex-lawyer from Maryland seems to fall under that second category. She seems to have tried every trick in the book (and several not in the book) to fight getting disbarred.

It didn’t work. And now she’s on the receiving end of an absolutely vicious benchslap.

Was our ex-lawyer of the day unethical? Perhaps. Unprofessional? Maybe. But you can’t say she didn’t try…

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It’s time to announce the winner of January’s Lawyer of the Month competition. The first month of the new year brought us new legal controversies of all varieties, from all kinds of places.

In a month where some of our competitors included those involved in an alleged Biglaw ménage à trois and a lawyerly leader who allegedly made the most out-of-touch statement imaginable, the voters were swayed by someone else’s alleged statements (and perhaps her beauty, as well).

Let’s take a look at January’s Lawyer of the Month. This time, you don’t even have to Google her….

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Yesterday, a former Cravath associate had his law license suspended for three years by a New York court. For several years now, the young former associate has been dealing with some serious legal troubles.

Michael Zulandt was a Cravath associate in New York (we mentioned the story earlier today in Morning Docket). In 2008, he pleaded guilty to third-degree misdemeanor assault charges stemming from a domestic violence incident with an ex-girlfriend. The incident sounds like it was a pretty serious fight.

Keep reading to learn more about our (suspended) Lawyer of the Day’s crime and punishment….

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The first month of the new year turned out to be a great one for lawyers, but as usual, we don’t exactly mean that in the nicest of ways. January brought us new legal controversies of all varieties, from all kinds of places.

With terroristic threats allegedly made by an associate at one Biglaw firm, and scandalous sexual allegations raised by a partner from another one, we knew that we’d have a crop of crass and sex-crazed behavior for this round of our Lawyer of the Month competition.

That being said, let’s check out our nominees for the month of January….

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[Ed. Note: Long time readers of Above the Law will remember Exley, a contestant for ATL Idol during which Lat had the ludicrous idea of letting the readers chose ATL's next editor. Exley's got a new blog called Ying-A-Ling, where she wrote this gem of a story of how she used her Biglaw skills to handle a subway situation that we thought you would like.]

So it’s Tuesday morning and the subways on the yellow line are mysteriously MIA. When an R-train finally arrives, it’s so packed that half the people on the platform give up and wait for the next one. I am about to give up too but at the last second see a tiny sliver of space and squeeze myself in just before the doors close.

Two stops into the crowded ride, I’m still congratulating myself on my urban ninja skills when the guy behind me mutters, “Don’t lean on me.”

I hadn’t been leaning on him, though I certainly could have bumped or nudged into him, given the sway of the subway car and all. But actual leaning was what the man in the full velvet suit on my left was doing to me. I was not leaning.

Two years ago, when I was new to New York, two girls had said the same thing to me on the shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square when I had accidentally touched their arms. I’m talking about two young girls, up to my shoulder in height, braces, maybe even pigtails. Nonetheless, I backed away as if they had scorched me with hot irons, and tears might have, you know, sprang to my eyes and s**t.

That was the old me. Today, I am a hardened urban f**king ninja….

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The crash of the cruise ship Costa Concordia January 13 was a real tragedy. More than a dozen people died, and more are still missing. The overturned ship is still languishing off the Mediterranean coast, like a set from an old disaster movie.

For most people, a tragedy like this might lead to feelings of empathy or shock. For many lawyers, on the other hand, the crash might conjure thought-bubbles full of dollar signs and random vocal outbursts, a la “I’m the king of the world!”

But one New York personal injury lawyer involved in helping real crash victims has become a hero of sorts for turning in a trio of Hungarian scammers allegedly hoping to cash in on the crash.

This guy is awesome. When people hate on attorneys, everyone should remember his name as a defense of the profession. So what exactly did our protagonist do to make him today’s Lawyer of the Day?

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