* The House failed to extend key provisions of the Patriot Act yesterday. Terrorists are unable to create jobs in such an uncertain regulatory environment. [Washington Post]
* A conservative legal group, the Pacific Legal Foundation, is fighting the application of Title IX to high schools. At issue is whether throwing like a girl is something to be celebrated. [New York Times]
* Two former employees of SAC Capital are hit with insider trading charges. [Dealbreaker]
* Lindsay Lohan will be arraigned today for allegedly ganking a necklace. Your assignment is to finish this blurb, preferably with a pearl necklace reference. [Los Angeles Times]
* Technology and global competition threaten to change the legal profession for the worse. In the future, all lawyers will be South Korean robots able to review documents, file motions, deliver closing arguments, and hit on my mom. Wait, sorry. That was actually from my dream journal. I have really vivid nightmares. [New York Law Journal]
* There was a panel discussion at NYU Law yesterday on whether federal courts are biased towards business interests. I like money. [WSJ Law Blog]
If you’re like most people who have an important drug test coming up — say, for a new law firm job or for probation (kind of the same thing) — you probably prepare by doing things such as guzzling water, sucking pennies, or ladling your roommate’s urine into a pocket flask.
A somewhat less effective way to prepare involves going on a cocaine and amphetamine binge hours before your drug test and hoping for the best. But that didn’t stop Lindsay Lohan from trying last week:
Lindsay Lohan’s probation has been revoked and a bench warrant issued for her arrest…. Although the bench warrant was issued, it’s being held — i.e., on hold — until Friday at 8:30 AM, when Lindsay is ordered to appear in court.
The move by Judge Elden Fox comes after Lindsay failed two drug tests recently … one showed the presence of cocaine and another showed amphetamines.
Under the terms of her probation, Lindsay could get 60 days for her latest misstep, and the bench warrant comes just weeks after Lindsay completed a 14-day jail stint and 23 days in UCLA’s in-patient celebrity-enabling sanctuary rehab for another parole violation.
As an occasional taxpayer (albeit in a different state), I’m annoyed California has to waste precious time and resources monitoring and jailing Lindsay, when they could be doing something useful, like banning Jay Leno. As a lawyer, I’m itching to blame someone or something(s) for her downward spiral, and I have found the proximate clause: her boobs.
Lindsay Lohan claims her fingernails were not sending a message to the court.
When actress Lindsay Lohan was sentenced earlier this week to 90 days in jail for probation violations, she showed up in court with fabulous fingernails. If you’d like to learn about how to get the same look for your own nails, check out our sister site, Fashionista.
The tie-dye effect on LiLo’s nails was très cute — the profanity, not so much. After a photographic close-up showed “F**K U” stenciled on her nails, observers wondered if the message was directed at the judge — and whether it might constitute contempt of court. Lohan clarified, via Twitter, that the “F.U.” was not directed at Judge Marsha Revel. (For the record, though, Lohan does think Judge Revel is a “f**king bitch.”)
Still, it probably wasn’t advisable for Lohan to show up in court with profanity printed on her fingernails. Didn’t her attorney — or her former attorney, veteran litigatrix Shawn Chapman Holley, who recently quit the case — advise the actress about courtroom appearance and demeanor?
UPDATE: For the time being, Holley is still Lohan’s lawyer. Page Six reports that Judge Revel won’t allow Holley to leave the case until a substitution of counsel has been filed with the court.
In fairness to Lohan, she probably didn’t expect that the words on her fingernails would be seen. After all, they were only shown to the world thanks to extreme close-up shots by high-definition cameras — cameras that also captured her handwritten courthouse notes. (John Steele of Legal Ethics Forum wonders if this raises privilege issues.)
And perhaps Lindsay Lohan views herself as above the law — and the lawyers. As analysis of the starlet’s Twitter feed reveals, Lohan considers herself to be quite the legal eagle….
Was Lindsay Lohan's fingernail sending a message to the judge?
* A 22-year-old soldier accused of downloading classified information and providing some of it to Wikileaks has been formally charged. [New York Times]
* Talk about a Mean Girl: Judge Marsha Revel sentences Lindsay Lohan to 90 days in jail, plus 90 days in a locked-down rehab center, for multiple probation violations. [Los Angeles Times; ABC News (fingernail photo)]
* Ginni Thomas, the wife of Justice Clarence Thomas, has raised $550,000 for Liberty Central, her conservative think tank. Who are her donors? [Politico]
* Magic Circle law firms suffer disappearing revenues. [Am Law Daily]
* But transatlantic unions are still popular, contributing to an increase in law firm merger activity. [Washington Post]
* Second Circuit rules that pharmaceutical sales reps are entitled to overtime pay under the FLSA if they work more than 40 hours per week. [How Appealing]
Lindsay Lohan has slapped E-Trade with a $100 million lawsuit for using her name and likeness without her permission, reports the New York Post.
The offending ad debuted on Super Bowl Sunday, featuring the preternaturally stock-savvy E-Trade baby and his milkaholic mistress “Lindsay”:
Lohan claims that the slurring baby named Lindsay in the video is modeled on her:
Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna. “Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said…
Ovadia wants an injunction to force the spot off the air, and the Lindsay camp wants every last copy of the commercial.
Lindsay, you’re no Madonna, but the baby does kind of look like you…
Here’s a quick update on the “celebrity justice” beat. There has been a rash of break-ins in Los Angeles, targeting the homes of various stars. Is there a vigilante group of Robin Hoods lashing out at ostentatious displays of wealth during the recession? Not quite. Our sister site Fashionista reports:
While this is not surprising in itself, given that there would likely be some very nice goods found in any of the above, what is surprising is the news of who allegedly committed the crimes and why–a band of teenage girls obsessed with clothing and jewelry.
* Vick counsel divided over plea. [CBS 46]
* Crooked NBA ref may also plead. [SportsLine.com; SI.com]
* Rutgers player sues Imus for defamation. [MSNBC]
* While passenger sues Lohan in alleged angry car chase. [CNN]
* Interesting article on “De-Criminalizing Mental Illness” in courts, legislature, and streets. [Time]
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The holiday season is upon us, and yet again, you have no idea what to get for the fickle lawyer in your life. We’re here to help. Even if your bonus check hasn’t arrived yet, any one of the gifts we’ve highlighted here could be a worthy substitute until your employer decides to make it rain.
We’ve got an eclectic selection for you to choose from, so settle in by that stack of documents yet to be reviewed and dig in…
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