Lindsay Lohan

Julian Assange

* A British court ruled that Julian Assange should be extradited to Sweden. [Reuters]

* Governor Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii signed into law a bill legalizing same-sex civil unions. Men, barbecue, I like you, I like you too dawg, let’s get… civil unioned? [Honolulu Star-Advertiser]

* Seems like Betty Boop was passed around like a two-bit whore. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Lindsay! Lindsay Lohan! Who are you wearing? [Entertainment Weekly]

Lindsay Lohan

* More than 100 law professors are lobbying Congress to apply an ethics code to the Supreme Court. In related news, Clarence Thomas continues to troll the f**k out of a bunch of law professors. [ABA Journal]

* Arizona might have a host of new anti-immigration laws. The state hasn’t been this welcoming since The Brothers Brothers were working for their tourism commission. [New York Times]

* “Teachers accused of steamy lesbian romp fire back at city with $2M suit.” [New York Post]

* If the Muslim Brotherhood gains power in Egypt, they will impose sharia law. Just like Oklahoma! [ABC Online]

* Lindsay Lohan took to Twitter to announce that she “was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal.” Well, nature it is. [msnbc.com]

* Arizona is suing the federal government over the porous border. Mr. Obama, build us a wall! [Reuters]

* Barry Bonds, he of the enormous dome piece, had the number of felony charges against him dropped to five. Hauling that gargantuan cranium about. I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik. [ESPN]

* Mario will mediate the Madoff / Mets mess. [New York Post]

* How to fix the criminal justice system? I say gulags. Mostly because I like the word gulags. [The BLT via WSJ Law Blog]

* Hospitals have begun turning away job applicants who smoke. This guy thinks hospitals are acting like a bunch of weiners. [New York Times]

Lindsay Lohan

* The House failed to extend key provisions of the Patriot Act yesterday. Terrorists are unable to create jobs in such an uncertain regulatory environment. [Washington Post]

* A conservative legal group, the Pacific Legal Foundation, is fighting the application of Title IX to high schools. At issue is whether throwing like a girl is something to be celebrated. [New York Times]

* Two former employees of SAC Capital are hit with insider trading charges. [Dealbreaker]

* Lindsay Lohan will be arraigned today for allegedly ganking a necklace. Your assignment is to finish this blurb, preferably with a pearl necklace reference. [Los Angeles Times]

Mark Sanchez

* Technology and global competition threaten to change the legal profession for the worse. In the future, all lawyers will be South Korean robots able to review documents, file motions, deliver closing arguments, and hit on my mom. Wait, sorry. That was actually from my dream journal. I have really vivid nightmares. [New York Law Journal]

* There was a panel discussion at NYU Law yesterday on whether federal courts are biased towards business interests. I like money. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Deadspin dropped the hammer on Dirty Sanchez yesterday. Nothing too shocking, you know? [Deadspin]

If you’re like most people who have an important drug test coming up — say, for a new law firm job or for probation (kind of the same thing) — you probably prepare by doing things such as guzzling water, sucking pennies, or ladling your roommate’s urine into a pocket flask.

A somewhat less effective way to prepare involves going on a cocaine and amphetamine binge hours before your drug test and hoping for the best. But that didn’t stop Lindsay Lohan from trying last week:

Lindsay Lohan’s probation has been revoked and a bench warrant issued for her arrest…. Although the bench warrant was issued, it’s being held — i.e., on hold — until Friday at 8:30 AM, when Lindsay is ordered to appear in court.

The move by Judge Elden Fox comes after Lindsay failed two drug tests recently … one showed the presence of cocaine and another showed amphetamines.

Under the terms of her probation, Lindsay could get 60 days for her latest misstep, and the bench warrant comes just weeks after Lindsay completed a 14-day jail stint and 23 days in UCLA’s in-patient celebrity-enabling sanctuary rehab for another parole violation.

As an occasional taxpayer (albeit in a different state), I’m annoyed California has to waste precious time and resources monitoring and jailing Lindsay, when they could be doing something useful, like banning Jay Leno. As a lawyer, I’m itching to blame someone or something(s) for her downward spiral, and I have found the proximate clause: her boobs.

Let’s take a closer look…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fame Brief: Lindsay Lohan and Breast Implants, the Gateway Drug”

Aaron Biber Gray Plant Mooty.jpg* Century Regional Detention Facility is sentenced to Lindsay Lohan. Watch out, she looks a little menacing in her mug shot. [People]

* Fellow legal blogger and prominent immigration lawyer Lavi Soloway opines on the intersection of immigration reform, evangelicals, and same-sex marriage. [Politico]

* Why BP oil leak victims might want to look to Faegre & Benson for help. [Forbes]

* This would take all of the fun out of intra-firm email. [Lifehacker]

* Gawker jumps on the you’re-stupid-for-pursuing-a-law-degree bandwagon. [Gawker]

* Advice for lawyers who decide to make a career shift into private investigation, from lawyer-turned-investigator Philip Segal. [Charles Griffin]

* Were you thinking that the lawyer in the Non-Sequiturs photo today looks a little like a pedophile? [Bad Lawyer]

* No hooters allowed on this South Carolina island at night. [Lowering the Bar]

Lindsay Lohan claims her fingernails were not sending a message to the court.

When actress Lindsay Lohan was sentenced earlier this week to 90 days in jail for probation violations, she showed up in court with fabulous fingernails. If you’d like to learn about how to get the same look for your own nails, check out our sister site, Fashionista.

The tie-dye effect on LiLo’s nails was très cute — the profanity, not so much. After a photographic close-up showed “F**K U” stenciled on her nails, observers wondered if the message was directed at the judge — and whether it might constitute contempt of court. Lohan clarified, via Twitter, that the “F.U.” was not directed at Judge Marsha Revel. (For the record, though, Lohan does think Judge Revel is a “f**king bitch.”)

Still, it probably wasn’t advisable for Lohan to show up in court with profanity printed on her fingernails. Didn’t her attorney — or her former attorney, veteran litigatrix Shawn Chapman Holley, who recently quit the case — advise the actress about courtroom appearance and demeanor?

UPDATE: For the time being, Holley is still Lohan’s lawyer. Page Six reports that Judge Revel won’t allow Holley to leave the case until a substitution of counsel has been filed with the court.

In fairness to Lohan, she probably didn’t expect that the words on her fingernails would be seen. After all, they were only shown to the world thanks to extreme close-up shots by high-definition cameras — cameras that also captured her handwritten courthouse notes. (John Steele of Legal Ethics Forum wonders if this raises privilege issues.)

And perhaps Lindsay Lohan views herself as above the law — and the lawyers. As analysis of the starlet’s Twitter feed reveals, Lohan considers herself to be quite the legal eagle….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Should Lindsay Lohan Go To Law School?”

* Appeals Court shuts down Obama, kind of like how LeBron just shut down Cleveland. [New York Times]

* The great spy swap is happening. Too bad we can’t send LeBron to Soviet Russia. [CNN]

* LiLo’s new lawyer is very inexperienced. But at least she passed the bar. “King” James has never won a freaking thing. [THR, Esq.]

* Pro se litigant beats Toyota at the Ninth Circuit. It’s kind of like what’s going to happen when Cleveland beats Miami in the playoffs. [Law.com]

* Shooting unarmed men in the back is still cool. Just ask LeBron. [Daily News]

* New Florida bar rules manage to anger the ACLU and the FTC. Kind of like how the new Florida basketball team will unite the country in anger. [ABA Journal]

* Also, screw you LeBron James. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

* Don’t abuse the temp help. Contract lawyer Moshe Koplowitz is suing New York firm Labaton Sucharow for overtime pay. [New York Times]

* Lawyers say spy swap will happen soon. [Associated Press; New York Times]

* You can clear your court record but not your Google record. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* No foul play suspected in the Metro death of William & Mary 3L Joseph Doyle. [Washington Post]

* Lindsay Lohan’s fingernail message was not directed at the judge. [Los Angeles Times]

* Gun advocates fire off another 2nd Amendment lawsuit in Chicago. [Associated Press]

* Everybody wants Lebron James on their team right now, including an SEC lawyer who claims to be his father. [TMZ]

Was Lindsay Lohan's fingernail sending a message to the judge?

* A 22-year-old soldier accused of downloading classified information and providing some of it to Wikileaks has been formally charged. [New York Times]

* Talk about a Mean Girl: Judge Marsha Revel sentences Lindsay Lohan to 90 days in jail, plus 90 days in a locked-down rehab center, for multiple probation violations. [Los Angeles Times; ABC News (fingernail photo)]

* Ginni Thomas, the wife of Justice Clarence Thomas, has raised $550,000 for Liberty Central, her conservative think tank. Who are her donors? [Politico]

* Magic Circle law firms suffer disappearing revenues. [Am Law Daily]

* But transatlantic unions are still popular, contributing to an increase in law firm merger activity. [Washington Post]

* Second Circuit rules that pharmaceutical sales reps are entitled to overtime pay under the FLSA if they work more than 40 hours per week. [How Appealing]

mature lindsay lohan etrade baby.jpgLindsay Lohan has slapped E-Trade with a $100 million lawsuit for using her name and likeness without her permission, reports the New York Post.

The offending ad debuted on Super Bowl Sunday, featuring the preternaturally stock-savvy E-Trade baby and his milkaholic mistress “Lindsay”:

Lohan claims that the slurring baby named Lindsay in the video is modeled on her:

Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna. “Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said…
Ovadia wants an injunction to force the spot off the air, and the Lindsay camp wants every last copy of the commercial.

Lindsay, you’re no Madonna, but the baby does kind of look like you…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: Lindsay Lohan Gets Litigious”

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