When ex-associates sue their former firms, a fun time is had by all — with the possible exception of the litigants. Dirty laundry is aired, often for the amusement of onlookers. Here are some classics:

• Aaron Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell (gay associate who accused partner of directing him to “bend over”);

• Jennifer Braude v. Maron Marvel (allegations of lesbianic / girl-on-girl sexual harassment); and

• Charlene Morisseau v. DLA Piper (African-American female associate filed $250 million lawsuit against her former firm; firm accused plaintiff of rudeness and insubordination, e.g., throwing a partner out of her office).

Today’s Lawsuit of the Day, Alan Levy v. Sedgwick Detert Moran Arnold LLP (PDF), is a similar suit. Alan Levy (pictured), a former associate at Sedgwick, alleges that his employment was terminated on the basis of disability — to wit, severe depression and a breakdown, brought on in part by the abusive treatment he received at the hands of a partner, Scott Haworth.

So, what was the alleged abuse inflicted upon Levy by Haworth?

For a while we had a commenter who liked to comment “Legalize it!” on every post, with “it” referring to marijuana. This person is surely quite happy today. From the New York Times:

People who use marijuana for medical purposes and those who distribute it should not face federal prosecution, provided they act according to state law, the Justice Department said on Monday in a directive with far-reaching political and legal implications.

In a memorandum to federal prosecutors in the 14 states that make some allowance for the use of marijuana for medical purposes, the department said it was committed to the “efficient and rational use” of its resources, and that going after individuals who were in “clear and unambiguous compliance” with state laws did not meet that standard.

Puff, puff, pass. Anyone want some brownies?

Justice Dept. to Stop Pursuit of Medical Marijuana Use [New York Times]

Apologies for not getting to this story earlier. Sometimes things fall through the cracks around here. (We were offline for much of Thursday and Friday, attending Lavender Law.)

Last week, a federal magistrate judge questioned the propriety of the U.S. Attorney’s Office moving to dismiss a marijuana possession charge against Andrew Sullivan. Yes, that Andrew Sullivan — the noted political pundit, author, and blogger (and proponent of marijuana legalization).

Judge Collings issued his saucy opinion (PDF) on Thursday. Later that day, the story was broken by The Docket. The case has also been covered by Gawker, Wonkette, and the WSJ Law Blog, among other outlets (links collected below).

So we won’t rehash what you’ve probably already read. But feel free to take our reader poll and to discuss the case in the comments.

Judge angered by special treatment for Andrew Sullivan [The Docket / MLW]
United States v. Sullivan [PDF] [U.S. District Court for the District of Massachusetts]
Andrew Sullivan’s Federal Pot Favors [Gawker]
Friendly D.A. Saves Andrew Sullivan From Life Sentence In Gitmo, For Smoking Marijuana [Wonkette]
On Marijuana, a Famous Blogger, and One Skeptical Judge [WSJ Law Blog]

* Legal hiring binge? We like the sound of that! [Washington Post via ABA Journal]

* What were the odds? The Third Circuit upholds the U.S. ban on Internet gambling. [Wall Street Journal (subscription) and Las Vegas Review-Journal]

* Marijuana can make you do dumb things. [Gothamist]

* …But Maryland is kind of okay with it. [Washington Post]

* This guy looks like the type to slap a stranger’s child. He looks like Tom Wilkinson’s evil doppelganger. [CNN]

* Maine voters will get to weigh in on same-sex marriage. [Associated Press]

* Polls close tonight in the ATL Douche Madness Final Four. [Above The Law]

Can you imagine rolling on your parents in an attempt to get out of a drug conviction? What if your parents were both attorneys? According to the Boston Globe, one kid attempted to throw his cool sounding parents right under the bus:

Two prominent attorneys are under police scrutiny after their son, arrested on charges he was dealing marijuana from home, told investigators his parents knew what he was doing. Police found a small smoking pipe, scale and baggies in their bedroom.

Jonathon Cook, 20, said his stepfather, Suffolk University law professor Timothy Wilton, helped him build a place to grow marijuana in exchange for some of the profits and also smoked it in the house, according to a police report.

He said that his mother, Kathy Jo Cook — the former president of the Women’s Bar Association of Massachusetts — also knew about the drug activity and frequently complained that her husband’s smoking left the house smelling like marijuana, authorities said.

Let me get this straight. Instead of beating you like a red-headed step child your stepdad actually helps you grow weed. Your mom isn’t happy about it but allows it to continue. And you — snot-nosed 20-year-old asshole that you are — rat them out for it? What kind of world are we living in?

His parents deny all of the allegations.

It is of course entirely possible that Jonathon Cook simply made this all up, which makes him a bad son and a terrible liar.

I hope you all enjoyed your bar exam day one morning session. For your lunch break, I have a real-life legal question I just picked up off of the street, standing in front of the Breaking Media offices in Nolita:

You are standing outside your office on a crowded street. Construction workers, residents, and even some clergymen regularly pass by. While smoking a cigarette and minding your own business, a local walks by and asks you for a light. You are about to comply with the request, but the object the local presses to his lips does not appear to be a store-bought cigarette; rather, it appears to be a joint.

You sheepishly ask, “Is that a hand-rolled cigarette?” The local replies “Naw man, it’s the good s***. You wanna hit?”

You shake your head “no,” then scan the street for police officers, but all you see are six-foot blonds entering the casting agency next to your building. Eventually, the local asks again for your lighter.

Should you give it to him? Why or why not? Could you be subject to criminal liability for doing so?

I’m interested to hear what you think. Check back here later — this post will be updated — for my solution.

UPDATE on my solution, after the jump.

Here’s a story that might interest the “legalize cannabis” crowd. From our friends at Fashionista:

This is turning into the summer of the fashion crowd running into trouble with the law.

Last week, a major drug bust went down in Ralph Lauren’s tony New Canaan, CT store. The stock manager, 34-year-old Ricky Sullins, was arrested for accepting a FedEx package loaded with 14 pounds of marijuana. FedEx contacted the police before delivering the package since they could smell the drugs through the box and an undercover cop posed as the delivery man.

Fourteen pounds is enough to get an entire polo team high — including the horses. Since it involved a large quantity of pot moving through the state of Connecticut, we wonder if U. Conn. law student John Belanger was involved.

If Sullins is looking for representation, might we suggest Allison Margolin, aka L.A.’s Dopest Attorney? She’s a California attorney, but perhaps she can get admitted pro hac.

To read more and comment, click on the link below.

Pot and Polos [Fashionista]

John Belanger, who appears to be a rising 3L at the University of Connecticut, will likely be deferring his third year of law school. He has some bigger legal issues to deal with.

Belanger, 27, was arrested last week for his role in running an international drug ring. From the Watertown Daily Times:

Federal authorities have charged more than 45 people nationwide over their alleged roles in an international drug-smuggling operation that moved $1 billion worth of marijuana.

The two-year investigation exposed a pipeline moving thousands of pounds of marijuana each month from the north country to numerous U.S. cities, including Boston, New York and Miami, prosecutors said. The crime syndicate is alleged to have moved the marijuana, which came from Canada through the St. Regis Mohawk Reservation in Franklin County and near Churubusco in Clinton County, over the past four years….

Zachary Gouchie, 24, of Montreal, Edward Kener, 31, of Weston, Fla., and John Belanger, 27, of Hartford, Conn., were accused of recruiting people and directing the movement of the marijuana along the East Coast.

Given that this allegedly started four years ago, perhaps Belanger decided to go to law school to give legal advice to the drug cartel. Those with knowledge of Belanger tell us about his exploits at U. Conn. and his special interest in American Indian law, after the jump.

How should the federal and state governments deal with their depleted coffers? Here’s one idea, from Nick Gillespie of Reason.com, in yesterday’s New York Times:

Legalize drugs and then tax sales of them. And while we’re at it, welcome all forms of gambling (rather than just the few currently and arbitrarily allowed) and let prostitution go legit too. All of these vices, involving billions of dollars and consenting adults, already take place. They just take place beyond the taxman’s reach.

Legalizing the world’s oldest profession probably wasn’t what Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff, meant when he said that we should never allow a crisis to go to waste. But turning America into a Sin City on a Hill could help President Obama pay for his ambitious plans to overhaul health care and invest in green energy. More taxed vices would certainly lead to significant new revenue streams at every level. That’s one of the reasons 52 percent of voters in a recent Zogby poll said they support legalizing, taxing and regulating the growth and sale of marijuana.

Are ATL readers more or less libertarian than the general public? In a prior poll, almost 70 percent of you voted in favor of legalizing prostitution.

We know how L.A.’s dopest attorney feels — but what’s your opinion of pot? Vote in this poll, and debate in the comments.

Paying With Our Sins [New York Times]

Earlier: A Seminal Question: Should Prostitution Be Legalized?
Adventures in Lawyer Advertising: ‘The Dopest Attorney’

Allison Margolin, whom we have written about before, is an HLS grad who practices law in Los Angeles. According to her website, she “handles all criminal cases from murder to medical marijuana.” But the latter would appear to be her passion, judging from how she wishes to be reached:

* AIG turned in the list of bonus recipients to New York’s Attorney General Andrew Cuomo yesterday—let the games begin. Just kidding, I too fear for the safety of heavily compensated AIG executives—there is nothing scarier than an angry progressive. [The Los Angeles Times]

* Dispensers of medical marijuana have room to breathe after Attorney General Eric Holder announced that federal authorities would cease raiding their operations. [The New York Times]

* Attorney General Eric Holder issued guidelines to federal agencies after The White House advised them to release their records to the public. [The Washington Post]

* A 3-judge federal appeals panel is considering whether or not to re-instate Madoff’s bail—springing him from jail until sentencing in June. [Newsday]

* Albert Hu, a Silicon Valley hedge fund manager conned clients by saying he was represented by prominent law firms like Heller Ehrman and Shaw Pittman; he was arrested in Hong Kong, and charged with defrauding millions from investors. [The National Law Journal]

* Another sad tale of an associate whose offer has been put on hold—his employer Latham & Watkins is asking incoming attorney’s to defer their start dates. [The National Law Journal]

This just in, from the AP:

A South Carolina sheriff said Monday he was not going to charge swimmer Michael Phelps after a photo of the 14-time gold medalist showed him smoking from a marijuana pipe.

Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott said he couldn’t ignore the photo but defended his investigation. “Michael Phelps is truly an American hero … but even with his star status, he is still obligated to obey the laws of our state,” Lott said.

The photo showed Phelps smoking from a marijuana pipe at a party in November when he visited the University of South Carolina.

Earlier this month, through a spokesperson, Sheriff Lott sang a different tune:

“The bottom line is, if he broke the law, and he did it in Richland County, he’s going to be charged,” [spokesman Chris] Cowan said. “And there’s no difference between Michael Phelps and several other people that we arrest for the same type of a charge everyday.”

Perhaps Sheriff Lott was deterred by talk that going after Phelps would have constituted a selective prosecution?

A reader poll and the opportunity to comment, after the jump.

* In case you are wondering, I’m in the foreground on the right in this artist’s depiction. [Courtoons]

* Are doctors now more hated than lawyers? That probably depends on how sick you are. [What About Clients?]

* Should you friend your boss on Facebook? [Corporette]

* It might be in poor taste, but Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s surgery was the opening bell on the Kagan v. Sotomayor steel cage match. [CQ Politics]

* Michael Phelps lost one of his sponsors, after being photographed smoking from what looked like a marijuana pipe. ESPN is doing 24/7 analysis about what this means for Phelps, kids, and America. I’m sure Katie Couric is going to get involved soon. Thank God I only smoke tobacco, drink alcohol and caffeine, eat red meat with lots of salt, take whatever Pfizer tells me I need, and gamble away all of my disposable income. A real role model follows the law! [Popsquire]

We expect ATL friend Mark Herrmann at Drug and Device Law to weigh in on this matter fully and with much glee. But in the meantime, we wanted to alert the more botanical subset of our readership of some breaking news: if the cops surprise you, you don’t have to drink the bong water. At least not in Minnesota … unless of course you want to.

The Minnesota Court of Appeals has decided:

Because the post-use by-product of a methamphetamine bong is created through drug use and not prepared for the purpose of drug use, sale, or manufacturing, the water contained in the post-use by-product is not a mixture as defined in § 152.01, subd. 9a.

That is very interesting news, but don’t tell the kids. Hilarity will ensue, trust me.

For instance, you might be able to get somebody to do this:

[A] police officer testified—at a contested omnibus hearing—that drug users who are indigent or who do not have a readily available source for drugs retain the water from a methamphetamine bong for future consumption either orally or by injection. The officer testified that he knew of drug users who had consumed bong water containing methamphetamine.

God I miss college.

Anyway, after the jump, if bong water is distinguishable from a controlled substance, what is it comparable to?

[Ed Note: Do you have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com]

Dear ATL,

As a 3L, coasting through his last year of school, I find the occasional moment to partake in a bit of “relaxation” by way of an unmentioned illegal plant.

I’m wondering though, other than a question about this on the Bar application, would I be subject to any type of drug testing for the bar or at my post-bar big law firm? Do firms ever drug test their employees?

— Panama Red.

Dear Panama Red,

If you show up to work with bags of White Castle or pester secretaries with questions about where your car’s at, firms may demand a drug test (based on boilerplate paperwork you fill out at the outset of your job permitting them to do so), and they can fire you without cause anyway. But as far as I know, no law firms routinely test associates for drugs, and neither does any bar-related process.

However, firms do prohibit associates from moonlighting or engaging in activities that would be detrimental to the business or reputation of the firm. Practically speaking this means you’ll have to get off Phish tour (editor’s note: they’re not reuniting, give up the ship) and turn in that ridiculous shell necklace from Hollister. The hemp one, too. God, this is embarrassing.

Since it would have only taken a Google search for you to have answered your own question, I’ll take your email as a cry for help and give you some actual advice. You need to lay off the weed and focus on passing the bar and keeping your job. Also, I see you didn’t get the memo about how everybody switched over to coke. Um, yeah. AWKWARD.

Your friend,

Marin

After the jump, Marin passes the blunt to Elie, who’s wearing a “Take Me Drunk I’m Home” t-shirt.

Everybody wants to be a part of a protected class. Trust me, it’s great fun (right up until the moment I try to get a cab home in the rain tonight). But unless you are a racial minority, a woman, or have suffered some sort of horrible disability, the joys of having to go through years of costly litigation to secure a job you never should have been fired from in the first place are unknown to you.

Unless you live in California. The state legislature passed a bill that would require employers to hire medical marijuana users.

Now this is a protected class that all races can get behind. It has been well established that white people like marijuana. According to leading experts:

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should [you] ever imply that people just smoke weed to get high, they do it for medical/spiritual/social reasons, etc, or that there are any negative consequences. This will likely alienate you from white people.

I’m somewhat surprised that all Californians are not united in song over this gross extension of governmental authority. Alas, Hans Bader at OpenMarkets.org writes:

The idea that the government should just stay out of the matter and leave both private employers and medical marijuana users alone is apparently beyond the comprehension of most California legislators, who think that everything permitted must be made mandatory.

Way to use logic to ruin it for everybody, Mr. Bader

Banned or Required, With Nothing In Between [OpenMarkets.org via Overlawyered]

We seem to be on a drug bust kick today. ATL says: “Just say no!”

Especially while you’re hanging out behind the courthouse on a jury break. From the Houston Chronicle:

Judge Sherman Ross tried to assemble a jury of peers for a woman accused of possession of a marijuana on trial Tuesday.

But authorities say prospective juror Cornelia Mayo might have taken that concept a bit too far after she was caught smoking a joint outside the courthouse during a break.

Give that juror a bong hit, and she will acquit.

In other drug news, Georgia has a law going into effect July 1st that bans retailers from selling marijuana-flavored candy to kids, punishable with a $500 fine. The man responsible for pushing the bill forward in the Georgia state senate? Senator Stoner.

It targets businesses that sell the candies with drug-inspired names such as “Kronic Kandy” and “Pot Suckers.” The law says the candies promote drug use.

Senator Doug Stoner pushed the bill in the senate. “I don’t think that folks are aware this is going on,” Stoner told Channel 2 in April. “It’s mainly, from what I can tell, particularly targeted to minority communities.”

Remember the good old days, when retail stores only tried to push candy cigarettes?

Prospective juror in pot trial caught smoking marijuana [Houston Chronicle]
Georgia Law Bans Retailers From Selling ‘Pot Candy’ To Minors [WSB TV]

The Drug Enforcement Administration raided fraternities at San Diego State University yesterday. They found a treasure trove of evidence: two kilograms of cocaine, 350 Ecstasy pills, marijuana, psychedelic mushrooms, hash oil, methamphetamine, illicit prescription drugs, several guns and $60,000 in cash. Those are the makings of quite a frat party.

Members of Theta Chi, Lambda Chi Alpha, Phi Kappa Psi, Phi Kappa Theta, Sigma Alpha Epsilon and Sigma Alpha Mu were allegedly running drug rings at the university. Seventy-five students were arrested yesterday. During finals. That sucks.

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

A member of Theta Chi sent out a mass text message to his “faithful customers” stating that he and his “associates” would be unable to sell cocaine while they were in Las Vegas for a fraternity formal, according to the Drug Enforcement Administration. The text promoted a cocaine “sale” and listed the reduced prices on bulk quantities.

“Attn faithful customers both myself and my associates will be in Vegas this coming weekend,” the 19-year-old student wrote in the text message. “So stock up, we will be back Sunday night.”

Those arrested included a student who was about to receive a criminal justice degree and another who was to receive a master’s degree in homeland security.

Criminal justice frat stud may need to change his major.

Ethan Nadelmann, founder and executive director of the Drug Policy Alliance, agrees with the title of this post. He says to ABC News that the raid will cost taxpayers millions of dollars in court and prosecutorial fees and that “anyone who has gone to college knows there were always students who would deal drugs and who subsequently went on to prestigious careers in law, law enforcement, medicine and politics.” No big deal.

6 fraternities suspended in drug probe at San Diego State U. [San Francisco Chronicle]
Critics Call College Bust ‘Ridiculous, Nonsensical Waste’ [ABC News]

At last weekend’s NFL draft, University of Michigan wide receiver Mario Manningham, who was once projected as a late first-round draft pick, saw his stock drop all the way to the third round (95th overall). This happened after he sent a letter to the 32 NFL teams admitting to having smoked marijuana in college. Only the Super Bowl champion New York Giants (incidentally owned by Fordham Law School graduate John Mara) did not become scared away from drafting the former Wolverines wide receiver.

According to published reports, Manningham, when initially asked about his past drug use in interviews, denied ever using marijuana. However, upon hiring an agent (something that Manningham had to delay based on the NFLPA’s new “junior rule”), he wrote a follow-up letter to NFL teams admitting the truth, adding that “I don’t use marijuana anymore — and I have passed tests since.”

Candor about past drug use can be tricky for certain NFL candidates. In many years, evidence of trying marijuana has been as damaging to an NFL prospect’s draft stock as it was to Douglas Ginsburg’s 1987 bid for Supreme Court nomination. In the 1995 NFL draft, for example, University of Miami defensive lineman Warren Sapp, who most had projected as the draft’s first overall pick, fell all the way to no. 11 upon news that he tested positive for marijuana at that year’s combine. Indeed, Manningham’s situation is a bit different. “Super Mario” actually passed his drug tests at the 2008 combine. He did, however, test positive for marijuana twice while at the University of Michigan.

There are some real reasons why certain NFL teams choose not to sign players who admit to having tried marijuana. First, there is the malum prohibitum argument. Marijuana is illegal in the United States. Someone that breaks the law in any capacity shows disrespect for authority. One who disrespects authority is more likely to disobey a team’s internal rules. This spells bad news, especially for disciplinarian coaches.

Then, there are the medical arguments against an athlete using marijuana, both with respect to short-term and long-term health risks. Finally, some NFL teams fear that players who test positive for marijuana in college or shortly thereafter are more likely to get suspended for marijuana use in the pros. (See, e.g., Ricky Williams).

But might there also be less valid reasons for teams to avoid pot-smoking players? Read more, after the jump.

For Monday’s Lawyer of the Day, we faced an embarrassment of riches — of embarrassment. So we nominated a quintet of contenders: a North Carolina lawyer caught reading Maxim in court, a former prosecutor who allegedly had sex with two teenage boys, an AUSA arrested on DUI charges, a Canadian lawyer/politician who allegedly overbilled an order of nuns, and a Chicago lawyer who keyed a Marine’s car. Then we had you vote on who should take the honors.

Participation was enthusiastic, with almost 1,300 votes cast. Two contenders emerged early in the voting: Beth Modica, the allegedly predatory prosecutrix, and Jay Grodner, who pleaded guilty to keying the Marine’s vehicle. Competition was fierce. But in the end, Mrs. Modica came out on top.

So congratulations, Beth Modica. You take the prize as Monday’s Lawyer of the Day!

Read more about her alleged misadventures, after the jump.