Do NOT go in there.
Well, you don’t see this every day. “This” meaning a substantive legal debate over the privacy implications of watching porn inside an adult video store.
The stimulating (hem hem) opinion comes (why does everything suddenly sound so dirty?) to us courtesy of the New York County Supreme Court. A man arrested in Times Square for selling narcotics appealed his arrest, saying police who burst in on him (for crying out loud, I can’t stop the puns) conducted an illegal search and seizure.
I should not write this story, because I know it will only encourage more BikeDude commenter jokes, but here goes….
Continue reading “Just in Case You Were Wondering, Porn Store Video Booths Do Carry the Expectation of Privacy”
And no, we’re not talking about the guy who sits in the front row of Federal Jurisdiction and always has his hand in the air.
We’re speaking more literally — about a man with his hand not up in the air, but down in his pants….
Continue reading “Watch Out: There’s a Wanker in the Library!”
Aaron Tobey
* A judge will soon rule in the Aaron Tobey case. If you don’t remember, he’s the kid who stripped at the airport to protest the TSA. Because that wasn’t going to cause a scene. [Washington Post]
* Diallo plans to introduce evidence of DSK’s alleged global history of sexual assaults at trial. The man’s got money — he can’t help it if he’s got hoes in different area codes. [Thomson Reuters]
* And speaking of hoes, if you’re convicted of soliciting backdoor deals in Louisiana, you’ll have to register as a sex offender. Is that constitutional? [Beaumont Enterprise]
* Louboutin is seeing red after losing to YSL. I guess I can stop hoping to own a pair of Louboutins, since everyone and their mother will have red-soled shoes in the future. [Hollywood Reporter]
Warren Jeffs
* Zàijiàn, Aggarwal! K&L Gates is suing a former partner, Navin Kumar Aggarwal, for breach of trust after he was arrested for theft and forgery. [Bloomberg]
* Widener Law Professor Lawrence Connell will be suing the school for $1.8M over a psych evaluation. He must be crazy for daring to defend himself in an email to students. [NBC Philadelphia]
* God gave him life, and so did the jury. Poor Warren Jeffs must be bored in jail. This polygamist pedo has been beating the bishop up to 15 times a day. Ouch. [The Daily]
Ed. note: This post is by Will Meyerhofer, a former Sullivan & Cromwell attorney turned psychotherapist. He holds degrees from Harvard, NYU Law, and The Hunter College School of Social Work, and he blogs at The People’s Therapist. His new book, Life is a Brief Opportunity for Joy, is available on Amazon (affiliate link).
My client’s concise estimate of her second year at a big law firm:
“Meh.”
For months, the “career” consisted of one-third idleness, one-third word-processing, and one-third pointless research. That morphed over time into “managing” doc review, which morphed into doing doc review, which translated into odious hours staring at odious documents on a computer and clicking “responsive/relevant” or “privileged” or some euphemism for “embarrassing.” According to rumors at her firm, there’s juicy stuff squirreled away in electronic nooks and crannies – most notoriously, emails from execs’ hiring hookers. To date, my client’s experience of “doing doc review” has matched the edge-of-your-seat excitement of watching drywall compound discharge moisture.
“There are days I want to scream, ‘Who are we fooling?!’” she remonstrated. (Granted, there wasn’t much use remonstrating with me, since I’m her therapist. Sometimes you just need to remonstrate – to demonstrate you can remonstrate.) “This isn’t a career – it isn’t even a job. It’s a joke. Every day I think about quitting.”
But she doesn’t.
Why?
Continue reading “Dancing The Pole”
Are you familiar with the website Post Secret? If not, you should check it out. It describes itself as “an ongoing community art project, where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.”
The secret-spilling postcards are then posted to the web. One of the entries from this past weekend gives a great shout-out to a leading law firm….
Continue reading “Career Alternatives: Massage Therapist?”
Are we good if this is my default photo for anything involving Brazil?
UPDATE (5:30 PM): Please note that the veracity of this story has been called into question. For more, see the note at the end of this post. (Or ignore the note and pretend that the story is real; life’s more fun that way.)
Fair warning: I will not succeed in writing this post like an adult.
A Brazilian woman who in the past needed to masturbate up to 47 times a day has won the right to masturbate at work. The woman suffers from severe anxiety and “hypersexuality,” which is apparently a real thing and not just as something that’s been invented for the porn industry.
Excuse me, I need a minute to ask God why I don’t get to work with the Brazilian nympho woman who has to masturbate at work…
Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: Woman Allowed To Relieve Pressures Via Masturbation At Work”
[M]asturbation is a form of “sexual activity” in the ordinary-language sense of the term, which judges use on occasion just as laypersons do. Masturbation is also a “sexual act” in that sense, but not in the statutory sense.
– Judge Richard Posner, doing his best to take all the fun out of jerking off (via Josh Blackman).
I used to race home to have sex with my wife. Now I leave work a half-hour early so I can get home before she does and masturbate to porn.
— “Perry,” a 41-year-old lawyer, quoted in a recent New York magazine article on pornography’s effect on the male libido.
* Apparently more senators need to listen to Lady Gaga — and we’re not talking about her music. The attempt to repeal “don’t ask don’t tell” just failed in the Senate. [Metro Weekly]
* Chanel apparently does not think that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. [Fashionista]
* Supermodel Stephanie Seymour and billionaire Peter Brant go to court… to reaffirm their marriage, ending some very ugly divorce proceedings. Good luck to the happy couple. [New York Observer]
* Is masturbation against God’s law? Or — more practically speaking, since we know you’re going to do it anyway — how can you tell if you’ve been masturbating too much? [Bloggenheimer]
* “[I]f this were China in Mao Zedong’s reign, Professor Henderson would now be in a re-education camp.” [Law and More]
* It would be really lovely if one of you were to nominate Above the Law for the Blawg 100…. [ABA Journal]
Earlier this year, Kansas lawyer Kimberly Ireland filed a lawsuit against state judge Kevin Moriarty, accusing him of masturbating while overseeing her divorce mediation. After we wrote about it, her ex-husband came to Judge Moriarty’s defense, saying his wife’s accusations were limp.
Ireland is now recanting her claims as well, issuing a public apology.
Excerpt and links, after the jump.
Continue reading “Judge Kevin Moriarty Did Not Beat the Honorable Gavel”
Last month, we linked to a story in Courthouse News Service about Kansas Judge Kevin Moriarty. Kansas attorney Kimberly Ireland filed a lawsuit against Judge Moriarty, alleging that he had used inappropriate language and masturbated during her divorce mediation.
In her suit, she said that her ex-husband supported her and had testified about the judge’s inappropriate behavior at the mediation during their divorce trial.
After the post went up, her ex, Kevin Ireland, reached out to us to set the record straight:
First off, I am not in support of this lawsuit. I never had issue with anything the judge did during our mediation.
There may have been some bad language, but there was no beating of the honorable gavel, says Ireland.
Continue reading “Coming to the Defense of Judge Kevin P. Moriarty”
A female law student at American University – Washington College of Law had an unpleasant Yom Kippur. First, she was at the library at 11 p.m. on a Monday night.
Second, she had some unexpected company.
From an e-mail that went out to WCL students earlier this week:
TO ALL STUDENTS, FACULTY & STAFF
INCIDENT REPORT
Incident:
On Monday, September 28, at approximately 11:00 pm, a male visitor to the Pence Library exposed himself to a WCL female student while in the quiet reading room of the library. The male then ran out of the library and although chased by WCL students across Mass Ave was able to avoid getting caught. During the chase he dropped a bag containing personal papers possible indicating his name but no address.
They say hell has no fury like a women scorned. But the fury of Jezebel over bloggerly treatment of female harassment might be worse. So when one of my male co-editors responded to this tip with, “This is AWESOME. Who wants to do the honors?”, I realized I better handle this one.
At Duke, masturbatory attacks on unsuspecting female students in the Perkins Library stacks happened with some regularity. I thought this was the case at university libraries across the land, but my co-editors tell me such incidents did not occur at their alma maters. Apparently Duke has more in common with AU than with Harvard and Yale.
More on the Attack of the Stack Whacker, after the jump.
Continue reading “Attack of the Stack Whacker at American University – Washington College of Law”
Kimberly and Kevin Ireland, of Kansas, decided in 2007 to file for a divorce. Their case was mediated by state judge Kevin Moriarty. Things did not go well from there.
From a pro se complaint [PDF] against Moriarty posted at Courthouse News Service:
Defendant Moriarty used the word “f*&%” during the mediation… Defendant Moriarty discussed plaintiff Ireland’s female undergarments and referred to the same as “panties” during the mediation… Defendant Moriarty discussed plaintiff Ireland’s sex life during the mediation.
According to Kathy Ireland, none of this was relevant to the mediation. But Moriarty thought it was important. And exciting:
Defendant Moriarty appeared to be masturbating during the mediation.
It all sounds pretty crazy, right? But Ireland’s ex-husband is actually backing her up on this.
Continue reading “Judge of the Day: Kevin P. Moriarty”
To San Francisco, apparently, to clerk on the Ninth Circuit.
We hope that the author of this email is clerking for one of court’s slave-driver judges. He needs to be kept busy, so he won’t have time for any more literary endeavors.
“Pleaded” or “pled” may be a matter of personal preference. But turns of phrase like “I had to have breakfast with my unit” and “the inadequate salve of an orgasm” ought to be criminalized — even in the Ninth Circuit.
Correction: We’ve heard from the woman who received the email. As it turns out, she works for the Ninth Circuit; the sender does not (although he is an attorney, in southern California). She construes the references to the Ninth Circuit to mean “that the job he currently has is *his version* of the Ninth Circuit — that is, his dream job.”
“It Was A Risk — Dating You. Risking My Reputation. Where Was Respect For That?” [Jezebel]
* Can you invoke the Fifth Amendment if you’re a juror being voir dired? [Southern District of Florida Blog]
* When it comes to the administrative state, you can run but you can’t hide. [DealBreaker]
* The Elizabeth Halverson saga rolls on — and social studies teachers are grateful for the judicial soap opera: “My high school students have never read the newspaper with such genuine excitement before… So please, let Judge Halverson stay on the bench, just a little bit longer.” [ABA Journal]
* Who’s up for an Italian sausage grinder? [New York Post]
Well they guess it would be nice
If they could touch his body…
And soon they may have their chance.
George Michael Faces Jail: Michael ‘was on drugs’ court told [BBC News via Drudge Report]
We meant to link to this amusing story last Friday. Unfortunately, between salary coverage and entertaining visitors at our office hours, it fell through the cracks.
Anyway, to find out why H. Dewain Herring, Esq., currently on trial for murder, is ATL’s Lawyer of Last Friday, click here. You’ll be treated to the story of a prosecution featuring “salacious themes of lap dances, drug use and public nakedness.”
Herring’s defense: accidental discharge. Which, to be sure, happens all the time in strip clubs.
To pique your interest, here’s an excerpt from the trial transcript, courtesy of a source on the ground in Columbia, South Carolina:
q. and when you entered the champagne room he was masturbating, right?
a. yes, he was spanking that monkey
q. and when you entered, he saw you and kept masturbating.
a. yes, he kept on spanking that thing.
q. kept on spanking it, ok…
If he were still on the bench, and if this had happened in Oklahoma rather than South Carolina, we know the perfect judge for this trial.
Defense Stresses Lack of Intent [The State]
We’ve told you all about Adrienne, the Boston College law student who did a sexy swimsuit spread for a magazine. And we’ve been all over (hehe) Adriana, the Brooklyn Law School 3L who romped naked before the camera for Playboy TV.
But let’s set the record straight. The phenomenon of law students taking it off for the camera is nothing new.
Well before Adrienne and Adriana, there was Oona O’Connell. From a tipster:
“A first year associate at my firm told me about this… He went to U. Miami and knew a fellow law student who posed for Playboy.”
“Apparently, her name is Oona O’Connell (which could be either the name of her first pet or the street she lived on as a kid, if my porn-name generator is correct). She is a 3L at the University of Miami Law School, and she’s also a Hawaiian Tropic model. Apparently she was in the May 2006 issue of Playboy, and she may shoot a ‘feature’ for an upcoming issue.”
“The only female nudity at MY law school took place when the student ACLU girls went topless to protest a local nudity ordinance. They were not airbrushed. OY.”
More about this comely young law student, including links to her Playboy pics, after the jump.
Continue reading “A Mini-Trend: Law Students in the Nude?”
* The headline screams “Britney!” But, in fact, this plaintiff was not wearing too-long jeans and fleeing the press — he was tasered. [Houston Chronicle]
* In my college days, this kind of activity was confined to private study booths known as “weenie bins.” We respected the books. [AP via Yahoo! News]
* Are royalties drying up, or is this (PDF) a legit lawsuit? [Los Angeles Times]
* Is teamwork encouraged in law school? Well, there is no “I” in team, but there sure is one in “Order of the Coif.” [Law School Innovation]
