Masturbation

  • Food, Guantanamo Bay, Masturbation, Non-Sequiturs, Perverts

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.19.07

    * Unlike batting averages, Zagat numbers are not exactly accurate to begin with. And don’t you wonder who fills out those surveys anyway? [New York Post] * You defile it, you buy it. [Morning Call] * While this does merit more than a Non-Sequitur, a show of hands of those who really care about Phil […]

    3 Comments / / Mar 19, 2007 at 4:56 PM
  • Celebrities, Masturbation, Music, Reality TV, Television

    Thankfully, No Allegations Have Been Leveled Against Paula Abdul

    It can make you go blind — AND it can cause you to be named as the defendant in a civil lawsuit: (We love how “masturbation” appears in quotation marks. We realize it’s a quotation from the Complaint, but it reads as it were placed in scare-quotes — as if it were a less technical […]

    3 Comments / / Mar 13, 2007 at 4:15 PM
  • Airplanes / Aviation, Crime, Masturbation, Nauseating Things, Perverts

    Best Way To Get an Upgrade

    What is it about being 30,000 feet in the air that makes people so horny? First this. Then this. And now, this disturbing news story: An off-duty Northwest Airlines employee was arrested after a woman on a flight from Seattle complained that the man had ejaculated on her. The FBI identified the man as Samuel […]

    6 Comments / / Mar 6, 2007 at 7:22 AM
  • Crime, Food, Masturbation, Nauseating Things

    So You Like To Swallow…

    Ranch dressing? Some news out of Wheaton, Illinois, which gives a whole new meaning to the term “creamy ranch”: A high school student is facing criminal charges after school officials say he ejaculated into the cafeteria salad dressing. Marco Castro, 17, was charged with one count each of attempted aggravated battery and disorderly conduct, both […]

    6 Comments / / Dec 16, 2006 at 6:28 PM
  • Bad Ideas, Immigration, Masturbation, Stupid Lawyer Tricks, White-Collar Crime

    Stupid Lawyer Tricks: Abusing the Autopen

    Okay, so he’s actually a law student (as a number of you nitpickers would surely point out). Anyway, here’s the story: A 26-year-old law school standout was arrested for pretending to be a New Jersey congressman, so he could obtain visas for relatives and others in his native Cameroon, said a federal prosecutor. Njock Eyong […]

    2 Comments / / Oct 18, 2006 at 2:10 PM
  • Duke Lacrosse Team Rape Case, Masturbation, Sex

    The Duke Rape Case: The DNA Evidence

    The Duke lacrosse team rape case doesn’t seem like great ATL fodder. If the accuser is telling the truth, a brutal and horrific rape took place. If the three defendants are telling the truth, three young men’s lives have been ruined, for a crime they did not commit. But the story is all over the […]

    0 Comments / / Oct 16, 2006 at 1:50 PM
  • Masturbation

    Cardozo Law Student Waxes On About Whacking Off

    Here’s an interesting story about Christopher Migliaccio, a Cardozo Law School student currently running for New York State Assembly — on a rather unorthodox platform. From the New York Daily News (which placed a hidden pun in their lede, which we made not-so-hidden in titling this post): It’s not often you hear a political candidate […]

    4 Comments / / Oct 3, 2006 at 3:17 PM