Money

Ugh, not worth it, girl. You can’t even get rich from that anymore.

– A prospective law student overheard on the train this morning. Her seatmate later told her not to even think about dating a lawyer — “they’re all so, so poor… it’s kind of sad, you know?”

On Monday, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this picture:

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and vote on the finalists…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Finalists: Biglaw Bonus Blues? Drink Up!”

The white-shoe firm of Davis Polk might have been displaced by Paul Weiss as home of the hottest attorneys, but there’s still much to recommend DPW. As you can see from its ATL Career Center profile, it gets high grades both from the lawyers who work there and in terms of industry reputation.

You know what would make Davis Polk an even more appealing workplace? Above-market bonuses….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Davis Polk”

He lived a life prior to becoming a justice. We can’t say you have to give it all up once you are on the bench.

– Professor Bert Kritzer of the University of Minnesota Law School, commenting on the fact that one of Minnesota’s Supreme Court justices, Alan Page, made almost $50,000 in extrajudicial compensation in 2013. Justice Page is a former defensive tackle with the Minnesota Vikings.

If you still need to do holiday shopping for a lawyer or law student in your life, we’ve got you covered. Just check out our ATL Holiday Gift Guide (sponsored).

What about holiday gifts for secretaries or administrative assistants? In the past week or so, our lawyer readers have been writing to us seeking guidance.

With all due respect to Marin’s hilarious list, secretaries do not want “scented candles, Josh Groban CDs, or Cirque du Soleil tickets.” They want straight cash, homey.

But how much cash should you give? And what, if anything, should you give to paralegals and other support staff you work with? Let’s discuss, then take a few polls at the end….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Holiday Gifts for Your Secretary / Administrative Staff: Open Thread”

Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of attending the New York holiday party of Susman Godfrey, one of the nation’s most impressive — and most feared — litigation boutiques. The mood was celebratory (and not just because of the delicious food, provided by celebrated chef Daniel Boulud, and free-flowing drink).

The associates I spoke with — who all enjoy their own private offices, no small perk in the New York law firm world — exhibited a great esprit de corps. Unlike so many other associates I meet, they seemed genuinely glad to be at their firm and enthusiastic about their work.

The fact that bonuses were just around the corner surely helped. We’ve covered Susman Godfrey’s generous bonuses in the past, and they never disappoint.

I recently chatted with founding partner Stephen Susman about what he described as his firm’s “unique approach” to bonuses. Here’s what we discussed — including how big his firm’s bonuses are this year….

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The past few months have been good ones for Morrison & Foerster. The firm, which secured an impressive victory for longtime client Apple in the smartphone wars, could end up getting part of its $60 million in fees paid by the losing party, Samsung. MoFo has also been adding new talent at a good clip, including D.C. securities partners Martin Dunn and Scott Lesmes (formerly of O’Melveny & Myers), London restructuring partner Howard Morris (formerly of SNR Denton), and a slew of partners (formerly of Hogan Lovells) who opened MoFo’s new Berlin office.

So the news about lateral partners at Morrison & Foerster is exciting. Can the same be said about associate bonuses in the New York office, the first MoFo outpost to announce?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Morrison & Foerster (New York)”

Some guy on Twitter was complaining that Above the Law focuses too much on the negative side of going to law school. Apparently this person mistakes us for a law school admissions office — people who ignore facts when they don’t fit their happy-clappy narrative. We do bring you some law school success stories when we hear of good ones. Do you know why those stories are “news”? Because law schools are so effective at leading people down a path of career frustration and financial ruin that when somebody beats the odds, it’s mildly noteworthy.

Law school is a good investment for some, and a terrible one for many. We say that all the time. The problem is that law schools do not give people enough information to assess whether or not they should go. The problem is that some law schools actively mislead people who are trying to make a sound decision. The problem is that even when law school “works out,” the tuition charged often vastly outstrips the value of the degree.

Sure, some people will succeed despite the high cost, misleading information, and weak job market. Law schools want you to think that those successful people are the norm, but really they are the outliers. (And, given the events of today, I guess I have to say that the folks who contemplate suicide are also outliers.)

This guy who recently bared his underachieving soul to Business Insider is the norm. This guy making $45,000 while carrying $200,000 of law school debt has the kind of life law students should prepare themselves for, regardless of what the admissions brochures and the guy on Twitter who made everything work out will tell you….

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Bonus season is upon us, but some people aren’t satisfied with the extra wad of cash they’ve received. In the eyes of disgruntled associates, these are the same bonuses that were handed out last year — only this time around, they’re stale and being served cold.

The angry associates will trudge along to their Biglaw holiday parties, muttering under their breath about the five-figure sum the partners have low-balled them with this year. The name Cravath will be grunted with disdain and paired with an eye roll, and whispers of “Why didn’t I choose Boies Schiller during OCI?” will be followed by mournful sighs.

Cheer up, everyone. There’s a very obvious solution waiting for you just inside the doors of the party you didn’t want to attend….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest: Biglaw Bonus Blues? Drink Up!”

Retiring to a stately manor in the countryside and spending your remaining days drinking scotch and smoking cigars. A quaint life away from it all, secluded from the hustle and bustle of all those people in the big city. That sounds like a lovely retirement plan. Or the ambition of an Austen protagonist. In any event, one young lawyer out there wants this retirement to become his reality, and he’s taken to the Internet seeking donations to fund his early retirement. He’s only seeking $5 million. That’s some expensive scotch.

If you want to help out this lawyer with a small donation, I guess there’s just one more tidbit of pertinent information you should know:

He has kinda run a designated hate group before….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawyer Seeks Handouts To Help Him Retire. There’s Just One Teensy Thing From His Past You Might Want To Know.”

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