Morning Docket

  • Morning Docket: 03.13.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.13.24

    * “The fate of billable hours is in the hands of artificial intelligence.” I thought the intelligence behind the billable hour has been artificial for years! Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. [ABA Journal]

    * Lawyer seeks to overturn Ghislaine Maxwell conviction based on Jeffrey Epstein’s non-pros because she was a third-party beneficiary. How many mob bosses which they’d thought of that one! [New York Law Journal]

    * Lawmakers unwilling to pass useful legislation in an election year are going to posture about a constitutionally doomed TikTok ban instead. America! [Law360]

    * Elon Musk hires Trump’s old tax firm to represent him in executive pay suit.[Bloomberg Law News]

    * Donald Trump isn’t going to blame his lawyers in hush money suit. How nice of him. [Reuters]

    * Former U.S. Attorney loses law license. [NBC]

    * After a career spanning Biglaw, the White House, and leading in-house legal, this lawyer has transitioned to music. [PBS]

  • Morning Docket: 03.12.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.12.24

    * Robert Hur set to testify about why his report was roughly 1 page of “no crime” and 50 pages of “Joe Biden is so old (How old is he?) He’s so old that he remembers the first Lochner era” [CNN]

    * WilmerHale’s Harvard ties subject to ethics complaint though there’s no apparent ethical problem but we all have to talk about it because outlets like the New York Post are going to bleat about it. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Ranchers tried tampering with government equipment to get more subsidies… and somehow there’s a prison break and a dead body involved. [CBS News]

    * Freshfields standardizes offices to one-size fits all. That ought to get the partners on board with working from home. [American Lawyer]

    * Miami Law burning through deans like Apprentice contestants. [Daily Business Review]

    * Final client who refused identifying themselves as victim of the Covington hack has caved. [Law360]

    * First time bar passage rates are up. It’s still a stupid test. [Reuters]

  • Morning Docket: 03.11.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.11.24

    * Legal industry adds 2700 jobs last month. And all of them are already regretting it. [Law360]

    * Federal Circuit says their pocket impeachment of Judge Pauline Newman is totally constitutional. It’s apparently written right next to the part where the drafters wrote “just kidding” after the insurrection clause [Reuters]

    * Companies rethinking deals based on “head spinning changes to antitrust enforcement.” And be “head spinning” we mean “actually occasionally enforcing the law.” [Corporate Counsel]

    * Polygraph tests… still bad. [ABA Journal]

    * Pentagon says it finds no evidence of alien technology. But they WOULD say that wouldn’t they? [Courthouse News Service]

    * Legal-minded AI vendor Harvey hiring “all sorts” of lawyers. [Bloomberg Law News]

  • Morning Docket: 03.08.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.08.24

    * Joe Biden stares down Supreme Court while ripping nonsense jurisprudence. Brett Kavanaugh probably too many beers in to even notice. [HuffPo]

    * Firm leaders want lawyers to spend more time in the office but with less space. Please be in your office 4 days a week and also your office is now this stack of milk crates in the corner. [American Lawyer]

    * Banks leaning into cartoon villain role and sue government over capping how many imaginary fees they can charge. [Law360]

    * Corporate boards hate lawyers. Because corporate boards like taking part in a company’s successes and not its responsibilities. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Trump tries to bring immunity claim into classified documents case and prosecutors tell Aileen Cannon to kick it to the curb. She won’t. [Reuters]

    * Who amongst us lawyers hasn’t gotten drunk and punched a referee? [Roll on Friday]

    * Wells Fargo’s cavalier attitude blamed for lawyer fraud. [ABA Journal]

  • Morning Docket: 03.07.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.07.24

    * Law firm growth for the sake of growth might be good… Dewey know where we’ve heard that before? [American Lawyer]

    * Supreme Court pushes Trump immunity case to the last possible moment — a move that makes sense if the Court has no interest in the substance and is solely concerned with delay. [Reuters]

    * Newly leaked details reveal Penn also wanted Amy Wax courses to be videoed and taught off campus. Literally anything to avoid just firing her. [Inquirer]

    * Lawyer says Blank Rome is trying to financially ruin her. [ABA Journal]

    * Dartmouth athletes unionize, prompting Senator Tuberville to angrily blast the students because they are not “employees” moments before he told the interviewer that “It’s a full-time job being an athlete.” Tommy Tuberville is not what we would call “smart.” [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Another bias suit for the companies run by Elon Musk. [Law360]

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  • Morning Docket: 03.06.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.06.24

    * The Supreme Court majority tried to micromanage the insurrection clause and only succeeded in sowing more confusion. [Slate]

    * Biden launches bid to crack down on profiteering by setting up a brand new strike force that sounds… exactly like the FTC. [Law360]

    * Amidst alienating return to office policies, some firms have decided to take advantage of the hybrid life to lower overhead. [New York Law Journal]

    * RNC couldn’t muster enough support to get a ban on Trump using party funds to pay legal bills. [The Hill]

    * Attorney forfeits license amid allegations of spying on Muslim co-workers. [ABA Journal]

    * Hot on the heels of clowning the New York Times in a motion to dismiss, OpenAI announced that it will move to dismiss Elon Musk’s lawsuit claiming that OpenAI violated its own mission by creating a for-profit wing. [Reuters]

    * EU imposing measures to govern AI uses, presumably dragging the US to follow suit. [Bloomberg Law News]

  • Morning Docket: 03.05.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.05.24

    * Supreme Court seeks funds to beef up security around the justices. This would be an excellent opportunity for the Senate and President to ask for an enforceable ethics code. [Reuters]

    * Boeing hiring number of law firms after string of negative stories really sucked the air out of the room. [National Law Journal]

    * The NY Times claims ChatGPT pilfers its articles. And while that could just be because the NY Times writes vapid, banal takes, OpenAI and its lawyers also say some shenanigans went on — up to and including the Times may having loaded articles in first. [Coingeek]

    * Former Twitter executives sue Elon for their contractual severance packages. [Guardian]

    * Biden administration finalizing rule capping extra credit card late fees at $8. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito are mad that the Supreme Court won’t make a moot, advisory decision about a university anti-discrimination policy that the school disbanded a year ago. [Law360]

    * The justices did a lot of reaching to get Trump back on the ballot. [Dorf on Law]

    * New trend: board directors resigning and throwing public fits over “wokeness” to bolster their profile. [Corporate Counsel]

  • Morning Docket: 03.04.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.04.24

    * Supreme Court planning to phone in rulings today and while there’s no hint as to what it is, the Colorado primary is tomorrow and they’d probably like to know who’s on that ballot. [CNN]

    * Attorneys in Elon Musk executive compensation suit want to be paid in Tesla stock. On the one hand, the company is stronger for their work, on the other hand… after all they’ve learned about Musk’s management, how do they think this is a good deal for them? [Law360]

    * Teens fulfill associates’ lifelong dream and set law firm on fire. [Memphis Action News]

    * Canadian judge orders attorney to pay opposing fees after citing hallucinated cases. I assume they realized the cases were fake because they didn’t misspell a bunch of words by adding unnecessary “u”s. [Law.com]

    * A deep dive into a massive — and potentially civilly or criminally punishable — business flop. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * A third of Brits would quit their jobs to become lawyers proving that society has failed to properly convey the life of a lawyer. [LegalCheek]

    * Law firm was told two years ago to disclose that its partner was sleeping with a bankruptcy judge while still taking cases into that courtroom. [Reuters]

  • Morning Docket: 03.01.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 03.01.24

    * Lawyer fired after complaining about kittens. [Roll on Friday]

    * REAGAN judge shuts down Texas border law as a reminder that conservative jurists used to understand the Constitution. Don’t worry, the inevitable Fifth Circuit appeal will return our opinion of judges to normalcy. [Law360]

    * Law firms discover natural light. Not the beverage, the architectural design element. [ABA Journal]

    * Regional markets are all the rage in Biglaw. [American Lawyer]

    * Trump seeks trial delay arguing that he can’t answer why he stole all those highly classified documents while he’s busy phoning in a presidential campaign. [Reuters]

    * Elon Musk sues Sam Altman for hanging out with Microsoft too much. I presume someone from Irell has looked into Rule 11, right? Because that’s a good first step before getting into a case for Elon. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Yale Law School’s Heather Gerken explains how delightfully welcomed she is as a leader in academia in an interview kicking off Women’s History Month. Liz Magill and Claudine Gay both unavailable for comment. [Law.com]

  • Morning Docket: 02.29.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.29.24

    * Harvard seeking new GC to deal with ever worsening hellstorm surrounding higher education in 2024. Good luck! [Corporate Counsel]

    * Kasowitz Benson is on a run of suing clients over unpaid fees. Having previously represented a client notorious for not paying legal bills, maybe the firm has learned a lesson about taking chances with collection? [American Lawyer]

    * “The Dopest Lawyer in town” is admittedly a great marketing move for a marijuana attorney. [San Antonio-Express News]

    * Don’t write threatening letters to judges. [Law360]

    * Republicans begin internecine war over allowing RNC funds to pay Trump’s legal bills. [Time]

    * Elon Musk is suing hate speech groups for pointing out that hate speech happens on X. [Reuters]

    * Judges transitioning to Biglaw life have to “start at the beginning.” As much as it’s “starting at the beginning” to jump immediately into earning several million dollars a year. [Bloomberg Law News]

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  • Morning Docket: 02.28.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.28.24

    * Congressional Republicans are rushing to SAY they support IVF in light of the Alabama Supreme Court ruling… so why are they actively trying to block a bill to protect IVF? [Slate]

    * SBF wants prison term under 6.5 years while prosecutors are asking for 100 years. The source of the difference is the amount of the loss in the fake money case. [Law360]

    * “Senator Kennedy’s Judicial Pop Quizzes Trip Up Nervous Nominees.” True, but they’re also mostly BS questions asked by a senator in way over his head with this job. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Trump judge declares federal spending unconstitutional based on parliamentary procedure. But he doesn’t understand basic parliamentary procedure so… it’s mostly gibberish. Too bad Senator Kennedy didn’t ask him about that! [Reuters]

    * Litigation in high demand for West Coast Biglaw. [American Lawyer]

    * Private equity coming for law firms? [Forbes]

    * Kenneth Chesebro had a secret Twitter account despite telling authorities he didn’t? Look, it’s embarrassing for all of us to still be on “X” but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. [Daily Beast]

  • Morning Docket: 02.27.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.27.24

    * Law firm offices are downplaying the personal offices and leaning into collaborative spaces. It’s the same story Above the Law had in 2017 and 2019, but it’s 2024 so the Times is now on board. [NY Times]

    * Missouri law prevents pregnant women from getting divorced. There is no domestic violence exception. [Vanity Fair]

    * FBI looking into creepy “battle of the sexes” texts sent to a number of women law professors. [Law.com]

    * Bump stock ban reaches the Supreme Court promising an illuminating lesson in the originalist understanding of colonial musket bump stocks. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Consolidating the country’s groceries under a monopoly sounds like a bad idea! And after the courts shrug and allow the merger, we’ll get another round of news articles asking “what was Lina Khan thinking to suggest that antitrust laws are real?” [Law360]

    * Speaking of antitrust, JetBlue and Spirit are back asking for their merger. The court should say it’s granting approval and then add on extra charges for the airlines to do each action required to make the merger a reality. [Reuters]

    * Weird that the only judges who don’t want to be identified by the president who nominated them are the Republican ones. [Balls and Strikes]

  • Morning Docket: 02.26.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.26.24

    * An early look at Am Law 200 financials. Spoiler: things look really good for most firms making you really wonder about the handful of firms still laying people off. [American Lawyer]

    * IPO market leaned heavily on “cornerstone investors” last year. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Florida passes social media ban, earning the state another round of costly litigation that it will lose. [Reuters]

    * NCAA lurches closer to irrelevance as court knocks down its attempt to impose NIL rules. [AP]

    * Former NRA chief Wayne LaPierre found liable in trial over mismanaged funds. Honestly, feel free to keep mismanaging funds, boys. [ABC]

    * “This Isn’t MTV Unplugged” identifying yet another thing more entertaining than court. [Law360]

  • Morning Docket: 02.23.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.23.24

    * Supreme Court tells Boy Scouts to Be Prepared to go through with sex abuse settlement. [Law360]

    * Former White House lawyer takes over HR at Boeing. If only every glaring hole at Boeing could be patched up that quickly. [Seattle Times]

    * Trump’s new sneakers have red soles. Intellectual property lawyers know what’s up here. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Transnational law firm structure creating conflicts. Well, that’s very, verein interesting. [American Lawyer]

    * Baldwin case kicks off with actor and armorer pointing fingers. Let’s make sure not to let either of them point anything else. [Reuters]

    * Naked lawyer case ends with another attorney earning discipline too. [CBS News]

    * Court upholds Texas punishment for Black student’s dreadlocks in case you’re wondering how broken that state is. [ABC News]

  • Morning Docket: 02.22.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.22.24

    * California ban on abnormally dangerous guns struck down as likely unconstitutional… but NOT because of any tortured reading of the Second Amendment. The dormant commerce clause has entered the chat! [Reuters]

    * Pharmacy can’t dismiss lawsuit over screening applicants with an AI lie detector. The particulars of the motion are more complicated but… at a time when AI continues to hallucinate like a romantic poet on a laudanum bender some company actually thought “let’s use this to see if applicants are lying!” [Law.com]

    * As expected, Alabama fertility providers are shutting off access to hopeful families after court ruling. [NPR]

    * Oklahoma’s legal attacks on Trans folks back in focus after child’s death. [New York Times]

    * Biden administration relieves more debt officially continuing the most successful Supreme Court loss ever. [ABA Journal]

    * Pro gamers file suit challenging Activision’s efforts to control Call of Duty esports. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Trial begins in claim of stole Eagles lyrics. Who would steal those? [Law360]

  • Morning Docket: 02.21.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.21.24

    * Law students file ABA complaint after law school admits it sorta winged it after losing all the exam grades. The class: legal ethics. Chef’s kiss. [Law.com]

    * Speaking of legal ethics, here’s a hypo: Sam Bankman-Fried’s lawyer also represents the founder of Celsius. But SBF used stolen funds to pay Celsius. [Reuters]

    * So the Hunter Biden “evidence” that we all said was faked by Russian intelligence… was faked by Russian intelligence. Shocking. [Axios]

    * Courts provide guidance for corporations moving out of Delaware. So now Elon Musk can move to Texas and see if those courts are kinder to the prospect of a company squandering billions in shareholder funds to pay the CEO to cover the cash he wasted running Twitter into the ground. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * The bankruptcy court just told Rudy Giuliani that he can challenge the jury award that drove him broke if he wants, but he can’t deplete any of his estate assets to do it. [Law360]

    * “Wachtell and S&C Broker Largest M&A Deal Yet of 2024.” It’s February, gang. Maybe hold our horses until we’re at least a couple quarters in. [American Lawyer]

    * Wayne Rooney applied to study law. [LegalCheek]

  • Morning Docket: 02.20.24
    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.20.24

    * Today, the Supreme Court will indulge the argument that the statute of limitations on challenging a regulation doesn’t apply to companies founded years after the fact. Who needs settled law, huh? [Reuters]

    * “Concerns grow that legal losses could make Trump desperate, even more open to corruption.” Oh. Well better stop trying to address corruption if it makes him do corruption! [MSNBC]

    * NY backs down from pledge to steal $100M from poor litigants. Perhaps kicking puppies can make up the shortfall. [National Law Journal]

    * Federal judge warns Harvard lawyers that they sound ridiculous pretending like they’re normal people in front of juries. [Law360]

    * George Santos sues Jimmy Kimmel for paying him to say ridiculous stuff on platform where he asks people to pay him money to say ridiculous stuff. [Bloomberg Law News]

    * Julian Assange extradition battle enters final stages. [NPR]

    * Seventh Circuit decides that if parents dump their kids’ DNA into Ancestry.com, the children aren’t bound by the arbitration clause. [Law.com]