Morning Docket

Judge Richard Posner

* A unanimous Seventh Circuit panel, in an opinion by Judge Posner, just struck down Wisconsin and Indiana’s bans on same-sex marriage. The result isn’t surprising in light of the blistering benchslaps delivered by Judge Posner at oral argument, but the timing is faster than usual (for a federal appellate opinion in a high-profile case, not for the prolific Posner). [BuzzFeed]

* Bad news for Cahill Gordon: the Third Circuit just revived a fraud case against the high-powered firm and one of its clients, a unit of BASF. [WSJ Law Blog]

* And badder news for BP: a federal judge just concluded that the oil giant was grossly negligent in connection with the 2010 Gulf of Mexico oil spill. [New York Times]

* Freshfields gets fresh talent, adding former Wachtell partner Mitchell Presser and former Skadden partner James Douglas to its ranks. [American Lawyer]

* The dean of Seton Hall Law, Patrick Hobbs, will step down from the deanship at the end of the current academic year. Congratulations to Dean Hobbs on a long and successful tenure. [South Orange Juice]

* And congratulations to John Grisham and Jason Bailey, winners of, respectively, the 2014 Harper Lee Prize for Legal Fiction and the 2014 ABA Journal/Ross Short Fiction Contest. [ABA Journal]

* Brittany McGrath, Brooklyn Law class of 2014, RIP. [TaxProf Blog]

Is the Supreme Court ready for its close-up?

* Most Americans want Supreme Court proceedings on video. Because C-SPAN is so popular. [Legal Times]

* It was bound to happen at some point. Eastern District of Louisiana Judge Martin Feldman, who you might remember from lifting the Gulf of Mexico drilling moratorium while holding thousands in oil drilling assets (which he sold the morning that he issued his decision), became the first judge since Windsor to uphold a ban on same-sex marriage as constitutional. [National Law Journal]

* Need white-collar representation? Milbank has Apps for that. Specifically, Antonia Apps, the federal prosecutor who took a leading role in the SAC Capital Advisors insider trading case, is decamping to Milbank. [Reuters]

* “What’s it like to be the lawyer for Mark Cuban or Jerry Jones? Depends if you’re winning.” I don’t know about that, Jerry Jones seems to be getting pretty used to accepting failure. [Dallas Business Journal]

* Gibson Dunn has left New York’s teacher tenure battle, leaving the job of gutting public education in the state to Kirkland & Ellis. [New York Law Journal]

* A professor carrying a concealed handgun shot himself in the foot. But remember the answer to school shootings is making sure all the teachers are armed. [TaxProf Blog]

* More Squire Patton Boggs defections: At least a dozen members of the IP group have bolted the newly-merged firm to open a D.C. office for Porzio, Bromberg & Newman. [Washington Post]

* The rare interesting case about standing. Court says hotel has no standing to sue over hackable locks that haven’t been hacked yet. [Forbes]

* Speaking of hacks, Apple says it’s not at fault for hacked celebrity nudes. As a side note, I’m already beyond annoyed at people telling me what I should or should not Google. If Googling “Kate Upton nude” was okay last week, then it’s okay this week. [Business Insider]

* Credit Suisse porn. [Dealbreaker]

* Bieber behaving badly news. At what point do we need child labor laws to regulate precocious stardom? [CNN]

* Incredibly, Cliven Bundy remains un-prosecuted. [ABA Journal]

* Scaring law students doesn’t help them learn. It does help them feel terrified though, which can be its own reward. [WSJ Law Blog]

* I think that Eric Cantor guy is going to be just fine. [Washington Post]

* The internet is being allowed to be in Iran. [New York Times]


Professor Tim Wu

* Could Columbia law professor Tim Wu become New York’s next lieutenant governor? He has a shot, according to the Times. [New York Times]

* Which same-sex-marriage case is the best vehicle for Supreme Court review? [BuzzFeed]

* A federal judge takes the wheel in steering Detroit into the future. [American Lawyer]

* Is it “shameful” of the ALS Association to attempt to trademark the phrase “ice bucket challenge”? [ABA Journal]

* Jury deliberations are expected to begin today in the corruption trial of former Virginia governor Bob McDonnell. [Washington Post]

* Voter ID laws are back on trial, this time in Texas. [New York Times]

* Speaking of Texas, the state seeks to stay a recent ruling that struck down the requirement that abortion clinics comply with standards for ambulatory surgical centers. [ABA Journal]

In honor of the Simpsons marathon, let’s introduce each of these with a Simpsons quote.

* Dr. Hibbert: And hillbillies want to be called “Sons of the Soil,” but it ain’t gonna happen. — BofA wants that $1.3 billion verdict tossed as “unreasonable.” [Law360]

* Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, I have had it, I have had it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children! — Suffolk University fired its president just days before school began. I’d like to think it was over their subway ads. In any event, the interim president seems to get the problem: “‘I don’t think there’s growth there,’ he said, referring to [law school] enrollment.” [Boston Globe]

* Homer: Barney’s movie had heart, but “Football in the Groin” had a football in the groin — College football kicked off last night (or Wednesday if we cared about Georgia State), so check in with the lawyer for the USC player who pretended he injured himself saving his nephew’s life. [Deadspin]

* Lionel Hutz: There’s the truth and… the truth! — Bracewell & Giuliani partner, Glenn A. Ballard Jr., got benchslapped in Texas for “an affront to this court, to the other parties and to judicial integrity.” Everything’s bigger in Texas. [Houston Chronicle]

* Chief Wiggum: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah blah. — After Philip Seymour Hoffman’s overdose, the police actually arrested a jazz musician. He got no jail time after he hired a new lawyer, Alex Spiro, who went after the cops for taking advantage of his client. [NY Daily News]

* Jimbo: You let me down, man. Now I don’t believe in nothing no more. I’m going to law school. — Professor Campos wonders if American University law school will sue students who drop out or transfer? [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Are Apple and Samsung really still fighting? Even people who live on the West Bank are tired of this pointless conflict. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Tim Wu + New York Times = Oh, like you could pick Robert Duffy out of a lineup. [New York Times]

* Wow, a cop actually got disciplined for choking a… oh, wait, he choked a white kid. Well OBVIOUSLY you’re not supposed to do that. [Washington Post]

* Yes, but what if you beat your wife while on marijuana? What will you do then, NFL? [ESPN]

* And now for the part where Miley Cyrus ruined that homeless man’s life. [ABA Journal]

* Jeff Kessler has some experience watching the free market destroy things. [New York Times]

* Let me explain how “The Man” works. First, he takes away your leg room on the airplane. Then, he just waits for somebody to try to recline his seat, and waits for the plebeians to kill themselves. The recliner is not your enemy. The airlines are… also the jackass recliners. [The Upshot / New York Times]

Burger King bounty for Biglaw.

* Judge Posner dished out a whole lot of benchslaps at yesterday’s Seventh Circuit arguments over Indiana and Wisconsin’s bans on same-sex marriage. [BuzzFeed]

* Major U.S. and Canadian law firms chow down on Burger King’s whopper of a deal with Tim Hortons. [Am Law Daily]

* A recent Delaware court ruling on attorney-client privilege might allow in-house lawyers to speak more freely about wrongdoing at their companies, according to Professor Steven Davidoff Solomon. [DealBook / New York Times]

* The corruption trial of former Virginia governor continues; yesterday Bob McDonnell’s sister took the stand. [Washington Post]

* A favorable evidentiary ruling for Aaron Hernandez. [Fox Sports]

* And good news for Zephyr Teachout and Tim Wu, the two law professors running for governor and lieutenant governor of New York: the Times dissed their opponent, Andrew Cuomo, with a non-endorsement. [New York Times]

* I recently spoke with one of my cousins Joao Atienza of the Cebu Sun Star, about Above the Law and the world of legal blogging. [Cebu Sun Star]

* Congratulations to California Attorney General Kamala Harris who just got married last week to Venable’s Douglas Emhoff. [KCRA]

* Wishing a speedy recovery to former FBI Director Louis Freeh who suffered serious injuries in a car accident last night. [Associated Press via Philly.com]

* McDonald’s faces lawsuit over serving a serrated spear with their orange juice, which would be the most dangerous thing McDonald’s has served since McSpaghetti. [TMZ]

* Florida State begins classes without Dan Markel. [WCTV]

* The government’s $5 billion lawsuit against S&P has nothing to do with retaliating against S&P’s downgrade of the United States’ credit rating. At least according to the U.S. government. [Reuters]

* John Boehner is paying BakerHostetler $500/hour in taxpayer money to pursue this stupid Obama lawsuit. So much for fiscal responsibility. [NBC News]

* You don’t hear the word barratry very often, but when you do, it’s best when accompanied by “murder-for-hire.” [Texas Lawyer]

* New Yorkers, having been put to shame by the people in Ferguson, Missouri, marched in protest of the police killing of Eric Garner in Staten Island. [Wall Street Journal]

* Suge Knight was shot the morning before the MTV Video Music Awards. Okay, here’s a version of that sentence that will blow your mind: Suge Knight was shot the morning before the VMA’s, again. [New York Times]

* Don’t worry, outside counsel for American banks. Even after the Bank of America settlement, there will still be plenty of work defending these clients against world governments. [Am Law Daily]

* Burger King + Tim Hortons = Donut Whopper + Low Taxes. [CNN Money]

* Dzhokhar Tsarnaev wants his indictment tossed because he claims the Massachusetts jury selection process was flawed. Let’s file away the public reaction to this so we can compare later. [National Law Journal]

* More like Iceland’s Super LOLcano. Zing! Can I go back to bed now? [Associated Press]

Kim Kardashian

* First things first, she’s the realest: In light of the ongoing situation in Ferguson, Missouri, of course Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg acknowledged that we have a “real racial problem” in America. [National Law Journal]

* Cooley Law has experienced legal troubles over its job stats for the past few years, and a great deal of it has been handled by Miller Canfield. It raked in almost $1M from the school from 2011 to 2012. [Am Law Daily]

* Yesterday, a federal judge in Florida struck down the state’s ban on gay marriage as unconstitutional. The latest opinion is one of nineteen in favor of marriage equality. The decision was stayed, but yay for Flori-duh! [CNN]

* Half of Concordia Law’s third-year class will not be returning to school this fall because they’d rather wait to receive word on whether the school will be accredited than waste more of their time there. [Boise State Public Radio]

* Thanks to JudgmentMarketplace.com, a dentist was finally able to collect on a a years-old default judgment against Kim Kardashian — but only because a lawyer bought it from him. [WSJ Law Blog]

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