* Opera singer who can’t sing without farting sues for $2.5 million. She should try blaming it on the phantom. [Gawker]
* Speaking of Gawker, Elie has an article up about last night’s Grammy ceremony over at our new outpost in Gawkerville, the ATL Redline. [ATL Redline]
* Amazingly, adding Elie’s perspective wasn’t the worse thing to happen to Gawker this week: Quentin Tarantino has decided to sue them for publishing copies of his latest script, The Hateful Eight. [Grantland]
* Everyone’s favorite Harvard Law transcript forger cum insider trading defendant, Matthew Martoma, just can’t catch a break — the government is trying to get a couple of key defense experts tossed. [The Expert Institute]
* Should bloggers out pseudonymous commenters? No, because… free speech? Whatever, bloggers aren’t the government. [Ramblings on Appeal]
* The ABA’s Task Force on the Future of Legal Education thinks schools should cut costs and prepare students for legal careers. Welcome to the ATL Family! [Chronicle of Higher Education]
* It’s an old adage but it bears repeating: if you want to win a negotiation, be prepared to go to trial. [Katz Justice]
* An update on Stephen Glass, the plagiarizing journalist applying for admission to the California bar. Want to know what happened to his application? Click on….
Spoiler alert: He doesn’t get in.
Which “out of control” celebrity just got super-snarky in responding to a cease and desist letter?
Biglaw bonuses this year were insane. In an industry that usually plays “follow the leader” when it comes to associate bonuses, this year felt more like a poker tournament.For a full recap of the 2014 bonus season, fill out this brief form and receive ATL’s Biglaw Bonus Poker infographic.
The Wolf of Wall Street may be outrageous, but it’s a pretty accurate representation of white-collar practice.
Ed. note: Happy New Year! We will resume our normal publication schedule on January 2nd. See you next year.
* A guy got pantsed twice. He then secured a six-figure judgment! And now he’s appealing that judgment!?!? God, this is exactly the kind of guy who deserves a wedgie. [Lowering the Bar]
* Professor Campos takes on George Will’s claim that the team name Redskins isn’t offensive because “Oklahoma” basically translates to “Redskin” too. Hey, I could get behind banning Oklahoma. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* A pro se inmate sues the state. The reporter tries really hard to treat the complaint seriously until the very end. [Times-Picayune]
* A Las Vegas judge (and son of a former mayor) suffered head wounds indicative of an assault. When asked about why LVMPD didn’t tell marshals that a judge had been attacked, they basically said, “Why would we?” Yeah, why alert a judge’s security team about a possible, persistent threat related to his job. [Las Vegas Law Blog]
* With Netflix about to purge a number of movies off its system, this is an interesting look back at a time when Hollywood tried to ban home movie rental because they generally adhere to the “cut off your nose to spite your face” business model. [Tech Crunch]
* More on the phenomenon of judges speaking out publicly. I don’t know about all these critics, but we’re sure big fans of these judges. [Wall Street Journal]
* You can go to jail for possession, but if you actively aid and abet drug cartels, you can walk away with a fine worth 5 weeks of your income. It also helps if instead of “poor” you’re a bank. Hooray for “Too Big To Hold Accountable For Anything!!! [Rolling Stone]
* Disney has gotten fed up with “mockbusters,” films that jack the studio’s logo to confuse people into buying a different DVD. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been itching to check out this new flick September: Osage County. [Jezebel]
* Dahlia Lithwick explains that too many schools feel the cure for the trauma of school shootings is… creating more trauma. [Slate]
* Chief Judge Theodore McKee of the Third Circuit rules that the government can detain you for carrying Arabic flashcards. This doesn’t even make racist profiling sense: “bad guys” would already know how to speak Arabic, right? [The Raw Story]
* Defendants need to understand that getting an acquittal requires them to expend some personal effort, too. [Katz Justice]
* Judge William Pauley ruled that the NSA’s warrantless spying program is legal, noting that — if it had existed — the government could have predicted the 9/11 attacks. Good point, because intelligence agencies were in no position to figure out that there was an attack brewing without a Big Brother initiative. Oh… wait. [Huffington Post]
* On a related note, a cartoon from 1994 that predicted the NSA’s controversial programs. It’s really kind of scary…. [Slate]
* Britain’s clowns are furious that people are dressing up as clowns and trying to scare people. For their sake, let’s make sure they never hear about Pennywise. [Lowering the Bar]
* Professor Dave Hoffman evaluates the case for flat-rate tuition. [Concurring Opinions]
* The Wolf of Wall Street is about a criminal ripping off poor people. Bankers cheered at a recent showing. There is a lesson to be had there about what bankers would do if given an opportunity. [Business Insider]
* “Knockout,” a game where young boys cold-cock unsuspecting victims, is a serious issue. Nah, just kidding, it’s a crypto-racist overreaction. But at least one kid was stupid enough to try it and then tell a cop about it. Seriously. [Gawker]
Ed. note: Merry Christmas! We will resume our normal publication schedule on Boxing Day. We hope you have a wonderful holiday, and we thank you for your readership.
* Adoption, probate, and Elf. You know what child welfare really needs to look into is leaving kids to be raised in a sweatshop; that seems like a much bigger problem than an intestate parent. [The Legal Geeks]
* Were you looking for analysis of the Supreme Court’s decision in Kansas v. Cheever, but don’t have time to commit to a full article? Here it is in Haiku. [Supreme Court Haiku]
* Man declared a “quarrelsome litigant.” What’s the threshold for that moniker? Well, he filed a case against the Dominican Republic for “bad weather.” [Lowering the Bar]
* The Top 5 arrests of guys dressed as Santa. [Legally Weird]
* Professor Barry Sullivan of Loyola-Chicago explains how A Christmas Carol shaped his legal philosophy. And yet, if one were to pick one Dickens book to prepare a young lawyer for the profession, a better bet would be Bleak House (affiliate link). [TaxProf Blog]
* Happy anniversary to the Curt Flood case! [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
Besides their good looks and fame, they’re also increasing their focus on data security. In the wake of “Celebgate,” the Sony Pictures hack, and nearly daily data breaches targeting massive corporations to individuals, law firms are finally recognizing the importance of bringing their cybersecurity policies up to speed.
Two lawsuits over Andy Warhol works manage to sum up the artist’s legacy perfectly: glittering, drama-fueled celebrity and making way too much money out of the utterly mundane.
* New Jersey continues to mint lawyers despite terrible market conditions. Lat told me I should come up with a good Jersey joke. I said that was fairly well-worn territory and I would feel a bit like #498 at the Houston 500. Lat said, “ ” [The Star-Ledger]
* The Obama uncle we mentioned earlier this week? Obama’s roommate before Harvard Law. Why won’t Obama produce his rent deposit!? [CNN]
* The men who stole parts of the Porsche Paul Walker died in were arrested yesterday. They will be charged with felony grand theft, tampering with evidence, and living perhaps too fast… too curious? [TMZ]
* Regulators are having a tough time figuring out what to do with the burgeoning bitcoin market. Numismatists are equally puzzled by this rarest of rare coin markets. [New York Times]
* Jos. A. Bank, the most prestigious clothier in the United States and/or Canada, has been subpoenaed by the Ohio Attorney General. If the Ohio AG deposes one executive, he gets to depose three additional executives for free. [Washington Post]
* A Q&A with Nelson Mandela’s lawyer. Very cool story, indeed, bro. [Aljazeera.com]
And as an added bonus, after the jump are pictures from last night’s ATL holiday party…
* Paramount is flexing its legal muscles to stop producers from making a sequel to It’s a Wonderful Life. Wait, Hollywood is trying to stop a mindless and unnecessary sequel? Where was this Paramount when they greenlit Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? [Indiewire]
* Are you a “young, outgoing lawyer and recent law school grad” looking for your big break? Because it looks like a TV show may want to talk to you. [Get Entry Level Attorney Jobs]
* Remember the woman who accused the Duke Lacrosse team of rape? She was convicted of second degree murder today. Yikes. [The Expert Institute]
* This is an awesome program: a number of lawyers are helping first responders prepare wills for free. [KEZI]
* Overzealous IT guy who tried to keep everyone at work locked out of the system because “he was the only person capable of running the network” is going to jail. If you’ve ever dealt with some form of this guy, this story is like a dream come true. [IT-Lex]
* A majority of students say that a two-year law school program would make them more likely to go to law school. This is the best argument against a two-year program ever. [Valley News Live]
* Full-time jobs will exceed the number of law school grads by 2016. Except this assumes the number of legal jobs holds steady, which is a hell of an assumption when demand for legal services is still in decline. [Tax Prof Blog]
* A company’s lawyer had secret communications with a judge and ultimately secured a multimillion dollar verdict. The Mississippi Supreme Court frowned on that behavior. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]
* For the 50th anniversary of the assassination of JFK by Fidel Castro the Mafia LBJ ALF Lee Harvey Oswald, here’s a look at just how difficult it is to kill chief executives these days. [Vocativ]
Swing low, sweet Biglaw chariot.
* A California judge sentenced a man to 53 years in prison and then officiated his wedding. So she gave him 53 years followed by a life sentence? Hey ho! [CBS News]
* Jersey Shore’s The Situation suffers the indignity of a legal defeat. I mean, if he has dignity left. [South Florida Lawyers]
* Who would make a better juror: a non-citizen or Charlie Sheen? I’d prefer to have Sheen… I don’t know if there are many crimes he wouldn’t understand. [The Atlantic]
* The results are in from Kaplan’s just completed 2013 survey of law school admissions officers. The headline is that 54 percent of law school admissions officers report cutting their entering law school classes for 2013-2014 and 25 percent plan to do so again next year. Time to build another law school! [Kaplan Test Prep]
* A comprehensive list of the crimes committed by Batman in Batman Begins. And I’m not entirely sure everything he did in his hostile takeover of Wayne Enterprises was on the up-and-up either. [Salt Lake Tribune]
* Here’s a list of online resources for new attorneys. Here’s another helpful one. [Associate’s Mind]
* An attorney bit his 3-year-old son. Hurray for bath salts! [KRQE]
* A record label threatened to sue a guy. Unfortunately for them they threatened to sue Professor Lawrence Lessig. [NPR]
* Student loan default rates are at the highest level in 20 years. Seems like a sustainable model. [Chronicle of Higher Education]
* The recycling of policy debaters into litigators brings good and bad habits to the legal profession. On the plus side, there’s the refined research skills. On the other hand, stenographers have a hard time keeping up. [Houston Law Review]
* The new song “Lady Justice” by lawyer-artist DNA (featuring Zoha). He’s already figured out that all the good songs these days have to be “featuring” someone. Song after the jump…