Cellphone beat-downs are back in the news. Last week, New York Times tech writer David Pogue allegedly attacked his wife with an iPhone (if it wasn’t an iPhone 4, his career is over). And now the Grande Dame of Smartphone Assaults, supermodel Naomi Campbell, is threatening to throw her bloodthirsty Blackberry at Cadbury, the chocolate manufacturer, over using her name without permission in an ad she finds racist.
The docile model, who has lived peaceably since beating police officers in 2008, has a big problem with this:
Naomi contends that ad offensively likens her to chocolate: “It’s upsetting to be described as chocolate, not just for me, but for all black women and black people. I do not find any humour in this. It is insulting and hurtful.” Cadbury maintains that the ad was meant to be “a light-hearted take on the social pretensions of Cadbury Dairy Milk Bliss,” but has since pulled it.
Meanwhile, Campbell continues to pursue “every option available” to her, including a possible lawsuit — and maybe a fist fight…
Unless required to do so as part of court-ordered community service. But even when scrubbing toilets, she still looks like a million bucks. From the NYT:
First there was a cry, then a murmur, and finally a swoon. Naomi Campbell, the millionaire fashion model, emerged yesterday from a grimy Department of Sanitation garage in a floor-length evening gown, marking the end of her court-ordered community service.
She waved with her right hand, pulled up the shimmering silver gown with her left, smiled for the cameras and then ducked into her Rolls-Royce limousine, a silver Phantom costing at least $340,000. She did not say a word.
This runway girl was definitely “working it” — with a broom:
From 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., she swept, mopped and wiped at the garage, which has garbage and recycling facilities. She received no preferential treatment, [Sanitation Department officiall Albert] Durrell said. Ms. Campbell ate pizza from Grimaldi’s in Brooklyn, like the others in her work crew.
Yes, Mr. Durrell acknowledged, Ms. Campbell did clean toilets. No, he said, she did not have to be taught how to use a mop or broom. Ms. Campbell “was on her hands and knees at some point cleaning the walls and floors on the second floor,” he said.
* Is he a journalist? Well, he’s done the time, so let’s give him credit for the crime. [Washington Post via How Appealing]
* It’s for a slightly different reason this time, but the U.S. still self-righteously refuses to run for seat on the UN Human Rights Council. [Jurist]
* I’m not sure I’d even put a mop in her hand; this woman is dangerous. [CNN]
* Hagel to announce ’08 plans. [AP via Yahoo!]
* I’ve heard of someone getting “killed” in court, but it’s usually a metaphor. [WSJ Law Blog]
We loooove successful, strong, African-American females. Like the Justice Department’s Shanetta Cutlar, who demands respect from everyone who works for her. Or supermodel Naomi Campbell, who similarly doesn’t take s*** from underlings — even if it requires hurling the occasional cellphone in their direction.
Here’s a report on the latest Naomi Campbell assault case. From the AP:
Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault Tuesday for hitting her maid with a cell phone over a pair of missing jeans.
“I threw a cell phone in the apartment. The cell phone hit Ana,” Campbell told Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Robert Mandelbaum. “This was an accident because I did not intend to hit her.”
Perjury, anyone? Eh, whatever.
Campbell, 36, hit Ana Scolavino in the back of the head with the phone in the supermodel’s Manhattan apartment last March. Scolavino was treated for a head injury.
In exchange for her guilty plea, Campbell must pay Scolavino’s medical expenses of $363, do five days of community service and attend a two-day anger management program.
Community service? Here’s our suggestion. Place Naomi Campbell inside a dunking booth. For a fee, a player gets to throw a cell phone at a target. If the cell phone hits the target, SPLASH! Into the water she goes.
Proceeds from the Naomi Campbell Dunk Tank will go to an appropriate charity (e.g., an organization for battered women). Great idea, eh? Naomi Campbell Pleads Guilty to Assault [Associated Press] Earlier: Naomi Campbell: Supermodel or “Superbigot”?
How do you solve a problem like Naomi — besides deporting her skinny black ass?
Repeated brushes with the law have not deterred the British-born beauty from beating the crap out of the hired help. Here’s the latest:
Naomi Campbell might be spending more time in courtrooms than on catwalks these days. The supermodel was due in a New York court Wednesday to face charges of assaulting a housekeeper — one in a series of former employees who have said the supermodel is striking in more ways than one.
“Striking in more ways than one” — we love it. Who says wire reporters have no fun?
In Campbell’s latest legal woes, Gibson’s new lawsuit says ”Campbell either kicked or punched the back of Gibson’s head … while yelling discriminatory comments” as the maid searched the closet for the model’s jeans.
In Campbell’s defense, those were no ordinary jeans. They were Stella McCartney jeans.
And here’s the basis for the allegations of bigotry:
Gibson worked for Campbell from November 2005 through January 2006. Her court papers call Campbell a ”violent super-bigot” who disparaged her maid by saying, ”You are not in the Third World any more, stupid,” and ”Romanians are not usually as dumb as you.”
Bigotry? Come now — let’s give credit where credit is due. Campbell should be commended for the artful, almost lawyerly wording of her insult: “Romanians are NOT usually as dumb as you” (emphasis added). Naomi Campbell Sued Again by Ex – Employee [Associated Press]
We love supermodels around here. Based on their fabulosity, we’d let them get away with murder.
Okay, not literally — which is why something must be done about Naomi Campbell.
Past brushes with the law have not deterred the ebony-skinned beauty. She has moved beyond the point of being entertaining Page Six fodder; she now poses a danger to public safety. The latest news:
Supermodel Naomi Campbell has been released on bail after being arrested in London on suspicion of assault….
Campbell was arrested yesterday afternoon after a woman walked into a central London police station and made an allegation of assault.
The Sun newspaper reported that Campbell attacked her drug counsellor. The paper claimed the therapist made a complaint after she was “scratched all over her face” by the catwalk model.
A spokesman for Campbell said he believed there had been a “misunderstanding.”
Ah, another “misunderstanding” — like this one:
Campbell is subject to to an ongoing assault case in New York. She is alleged to have thrown a mobile phone at her housekeeper’s head in a row at her Manhattan apartment. She failed to turn up to a hearing in September and the case was adjourned until November 15.
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The last time I flapped my wings your way, I tried to make at least enough noise about your mobile phone to make you more than a little bit uncomfortable. I hope I did. If enough of us become anxious enough about the known and unknown unknowns and knowns in our mobile phones, then we can start making wise decisions about how to manage that information and its resultant investigations.
Today, I’d like to put a finer point on the last installment’s topic by asking a question that seemed to catch most attendees off-guard at a conference panel that I moderated last week: is there discoverable personal information in a mobile app? Our panelists’ answer was a uniform “yes” with one stating that, if he had to choose only one type of data that he could discover from a mobile phone, he’d choose app data. Why? Because there’s simply so much of it and because almost all of it is objective – not just user-created like an email – but machine-tracked like GPS, usage duration, log in and log out times, browsed web addresses, browsed actual addresses. Also, most of us seem to have the idea that data doesn’t actually “stick” to our mobile devices the way it “sticks” to our hard drives. Maybe there’s a disconnect based on the fact that our phones are mobile so we assume the data is mobile to?
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