She didn’t apologize. She started laughing. I was on my hands and knees picking up bone fragments. I couldn’t pick up all, everything that was lost. I mean, there was a long line behind me.
– Indianapolis resident John Gross, who says an Orlando TSA agent opened the jar containing his grandfather’s ashes — in violation of the TSA’s official policies — and spilled it on the airport floor.
We’ve all had bad flying experiences. It is just part of life in modern America. My colleague Elie has been groped by the TSA, everyone has to deal with humorless flight crews, and even the lead singer from Green Day has been kicked off a plane for not pulling his pants up high enough. The list goes on.
Still, our Lawyer of the Day created quite a stir on a Continental flight from Los Angeles to Houston, even by today’s standards. Let’s meet the Mile-High Flasher, who also happens to be (for now) a lawyer in good standing in California and a graduate of Loyola Law School in New Orleans…
Continue reading “Lawyer of the Day: No, a Man Cannot Just Have ‘His Fly Undone’”
It has been some time since we’ve had a good old fashioned law school lunch fight. But it was only a matter of time until cafeteria tempers at one law school or another boiled over once again.
This time, it’s not only tempers, but various illnesses and maladies apparently spreading across the angsty University of Michigan Law School cafeteria.
Let’s get our hands dirty….
Continue reading “Law School Lunch Fights Revisited: Biological Warfare”
This community service stinks.
Ahh, “sh*t law.” In case you aren’t familiar with the term, it’s what some lawyers rudely and condescendingly call legal practice outside of Biglaw. From traffic tickets to personal injury, you name it, and it’s apparently a derivative of “sh*t law.”
Back in March, we brought you a story about Joseph Neal Jr., the apparent king of one of these so-called “sh*t law” practices in Augusta, Georgia. Neal, a prominent personal injury attorney, earned our Lawyer of the Day title after he and his ex-wife racked up criminal charges for allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting the family babysitter. Neal later went on to earn 21% of the vote in our March Lawyer of the Month competition.
Now, just a few short months later, Neal has been sentenced after accepting the terms of a plea bargain. The deal reduced a felony rape charge to two misdemeanors. Neal will serve three years of supervised probation, and he’ll also commit to a term of community service that some would call a bit of poetic justice….
No, noooooooo!
SPOILER ALERT! This post is significantly more scary than anything that happened in Prometheus.
Here’s a question for all you fantasy tort lawyers out there: what do you do if you own a possessed urinal? Is your duty of care lessened if you can established that your property is demonically possessed? Seriously, at what point does an evil toilet become an intervening factor that supersedes any alleged negligence on the part of a defendant?
All these questions and more might be answered in the case of Dejoie v. Arby’s. Kenneth Dejoie claims that a urinal at a Colorado Arby’s burned his genitals. Frankly, that’s at least as scary as an alien that has acid for blood….
On these pages, we cover a fair number of lawsuits relating to female anatomy. Suits about women who say they were fired from their jobs for their stunning beauty (or, depending on your level of cynicism, their other intimidating feminine assets). But we less frequently write about lawsuits stemming from the male anatomy.
Today, we’re making up for lost time. This afternoon we have two stories about men who allegedly have trouble with properly managing their personal packages, thus causing varying degrees of trauma to themselves and people around them.
Are these suits sexy? NO. Are they crazy? Uh, yup. Salacious? Check. And no matter how one discusses these suits, it will sound like an awkward conversation with Tobias Fünke.
So, let’s check out our Lawsuits of the Day. And watch your step…
Continue reading “Lawsuits of the Day: Ewwww. OMG, OMG. Gross.”
It is the dream of many a young attorney to appear in front of the Supreme Court of the United States and argue the most important legal cases of the day.
To achieve career success like that of, say, Carter Phillips, who has argued dozens of cases in front of the nine, is a lofty aspiration, to say the least.
But there are other ways of appearing in front of a Supreme Court justice that might leave you with the bitter taste of bile in your mouth. At least one law student knows what we mean by that, quite literally….
An actual greyhound wouldn't have been so destructive.
Hey, don’t look at me, I spent my weekend planting Mountain Fire andromedas in my garden.
A man in Nashville allegedly went on an epic rampage, and he used somebody’s desk at a local law office as a restroom.
Like a boss….
Continue reading “Man Breaks Into Office, Smears Feces on Law Degrees”
It’s springtime, and you know what that means: the Above the Law tips inbox has started overflowing with lurid tales of Barrister’s Ball debauchery. To start the season off on the right foot, we’ve got story for you from a law school that’s been on our watch list before for alcohol-related offenses.
Apparently students at this Massachusetts law school don’t know how to hold their liquor, much less how to properly budget for a such boozy extravaganza. This event is rumored to have cost the Student Bar Association more than $20,000, with overbudget expenses alleged to have reached the $8,000 mark.
Not too shabby for an affair where various bodily fluids were spilled. The ensuing drama all played out on the school’s online forum, where the following message appeared:
Can we all make a pact not to post this to ATL like someone did with those crazy booze swilling alcoholic 1Ls (now 2Ls)?
Alas, it seems that the kids at this school aren’t good at holding their secrets, either….
I feel queasy just looking at this photo of Nutriloaf.
Deliberate withholding of nutritious food or substitution of tainted or otherwise sickening food, with the effect of causing substantial weight loss, vomiting, stomach pains, and maybe an anal fissure (which is no fun at all, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_fissure (visited March 15, 2012)), or other severe hardship, would violate the Eighth Amendment.
– Judge Richard Posner, in Tuesday’s ruling in Prude v. Clarke. The Seventh Circuit reinstated a lawsuit filed by a prisoner who alleged that being fed nutriloaf (a.k.a. Nutraloaf) in the Milwaukee County Jail amounted to cruel and unusual punishment.
(Judge Posner had more strong words to say about nutriloaf, as well an in-depth analysis to answer this crucial question: what the heck is nutriloaf?)
Continue reading “Quote of the Day: Hopefully He Doesn’t Know From Personal Experience”
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Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: asia@kinneyrecruiting.com.
Deal flow has clearly picked recently up for most US associates, counsels and partners in Hong Kong/China and Singapore. We are on the phone with a lot of these folks on a daily basis, many of whom we have known for years. Further, the head of our Asia team, Evan Jowers, and Kinney’s founder and president, Robert Kinney, frequently meet in person with leading US partners in Asia to assess their needs and keep on top of the inside scoop at as many firms as possible. The need for legal recruiting help in Asia from experienced recruiters appears to be live and well. In March, Evan and Robert were in Beijing at such meetings, in April, Evan was in Hong Kong, and for half of June Evan will be in Shanghai and Hong Kong. Thus its pretty easy for us to tell when there has been an across-the-market pick up in capital markets and corporate work.
On an average day in Asia when Evan and Robert visit firms, they typically have 5 to 9 meetings a day, mostly with US partners in the market. The reason they have these meetings is not simply because Kinney makes a lot of US attorney placements in Asia and that a particular firm may have openings; instead these are just visits with friends. After years of working together as business partners, the folks at Kinney are actually these peoples’ friends. The firms Kinney work closely with in Asia (which is just about every law firm – call us if you want to know the one firm in the world we will never place anyone with again, ever, and why) look forward to the visits, or at least act like they do. After seven years in the market, many of the client partners are former associate candidates. Also, these US partners see Kinney as a very good source of market information as well, because they know how deep their contacts are in the market and how frequently they are speaking to counterparts at peer firms.
Keep reading »
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