New Jersey

Chris Christie, that redundant rotundity, has taken a vicious beating this week. The party of personal responsibility has personally held him responsible for Mitt Romney’s defeat. And it’s easy to see why. Instead of traveling to Pennsylvania to stump for Romney, he stayed behind in New Jersey so he could spoon some more with President Obama. What does it profit a man who gains a friendship with Bruce Springsteen, but loses his party the presidential election? Hell if I know.

Loads of people are saying that Christie blew his chance at ever being nominated by the Republicans because of his a-hugging and a-kissing on President Obama. I don’t know about all that. The fact is, Christie has and had about as much a chance at the Republican nomination for president as Rudy 9-11 before him. Just as that lisping vampire couldn’t have won a nationwide nominating process if the excess saliva in his mouth depended on it, so too was Christie doomed. The sort of abrasive politics that Christie practices may have found its level in the New Jersey governorship. And that’s probably okay.

Let’s talk sports….

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The East Coast clean-up from Hurricane Sandy is well underway. When reached for comment, the city of New Orleans said, “Clean-up? You guys need a wet-vac and you’ll be fine.”

In all fairness, you just have to look at the news to see how Sandy hammered the Northeast, especially New Jersey. Havoc abounds, and law schools in the Garden State are not immune from the disaster…

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Is it more dangerous to jump in front of this, or to go to law school?

Would you jump onto train tracks in front of an oncoming train if you were a Seton Hall Law student?

Oh, I mean to save another person. Would you jump in front of an oncoming train to save somebody else?

Well, if you didn’t jump, you might be liable under my groundbreaking theory of Good Samaritan liability (mwahaha, making criminals of people who don’t help, or help stupidly). But if you would jump onto train tracks to save an elderly woman, you’d be as good of a person as James Baber, Seton Hall Law student and PATH train hero….

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Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Earlier this week, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our caption contest…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Winner: Spelling For Dummies Lawyers”

Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and then vote on the finalists….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Finalists: Spelling For Dummies Lawyers”

Lawyers aren’t exactly a loosey-goosey bunch when it comes to making mistakes. Sometimes they even intentionally blow small mistakes out of proportion in order to prevent goofs down the line. So what do you do when someone makes a pretty egregious mistake on the cover of a state legal guidebook? Well, as a tipster suggests, maybe “klil” yourself.

Barring such drastic measures, we recommend making jokes instead. Click thru to see the photo for our latest caption contest….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest: Spelling For Dummies Lawyers”

* To prepare for the upcoming term, the Supreme Court added six new cases to its docket. Much to our chagrin, none of them are about gay marriage. In other news, Matt Kaiser was right: this is a term only a lawyer can love. [National Law Journal]

* “We are not going to forget where we came from.” As it turns out, not everyone at this firm is a “huge [bleep]hole.” Cozen O’Connor announced this week that Michael J. Heller will step up to serve as the firm’s chief executive officer. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Apparently law school deans are “merely middle management.” Frank Wu, Chancellor and Dean of UC Hastings Law, gives an interesting insider opinion about what the view is like from the top of the ivory tower. [Huffington Post]

* “Caveat emptor makes for a lousy law school motto”: an exposition on why law schools should tell their prospective students the truth about their job prospects after graduation. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Anna Gristina, the Millionaire Madam, pleaded guilty to one count of promoting prostitution. Does this mean we’ll never find out more about the “prominent Manhattan lawyer” who was allegedly a client? [New York Post]

* New Jersey Assemblyman Ronald Dancer (ne Fist Pumper) proposed a piece of legislation called the “Snookiville Law.” If it means more cash for the towns that have to suffer wrath of reality TV, then so be it. [CNN]

Noooo, anything but that!

* The Pennsylvania Supreme Court will hear arguments today over the state’s voter ID law. But at this point, who cares? Come on, Election 2012 is probably going to be decided by a court anyway. [Bloomberg]

* Sedgwick’s New York office is relocating to Two World Financial Center. This won’t be just any office; no, it’ll be an “office of the future.” They don’t need roads where they’ll be reviewing documents. [Real Estate Weekly]

* Paul Bergrin, the Baddest Lawyer in the History of Jersey, will be tried on all 26 counts in his racketeering case in one fell swoop. Not to worry, because this badass thinks he’s going to be acquitted. [The Record]

* This year’s summer associates didn’t want to be wined and dined. They wanted to be put to work, because “[m]andatory social events can be physically and mentally taxing.” Aww, boohoo, social skills sure are tough. /sadface [Am Law Daily]

* Another day, another law school lawsuit tossed out: Team Strauss/Anziska’s case against DePaul Law was dismissed because it’s pretty hard to blame a law school for the effects of a bad economy. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Anna Gristina, the alleged Millionaire Madam, vowed that she’d never spill the beans on a mystery man from her little black book. Could it be the “prominent Manhattan lawyer” mentioned earlier? [New York Daily News]

What is wrong with Trenton?

In the chilly late night hours of Christmas 1776, General George Washington crossed the Delaware River to liberate Trenton from Hessians forces serving the British. It was a remarkable display of leadership that Trenton has not witnessed since.

Earlier this week, the New Jersey U.S. Attorney’s Office filed a 31-page criminal complaint charging Tony Mack, Mayor of Trenton, in connection with an alleged bribery scheme worth around $119,000, relating to the sale of city-owned land to private investors….

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Like this, but way, way more terrible.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to write this story because it hurts just to think about it (well, that and knowing all the BikeDude comments I’m going to get). It’s pretty straightforward, at least as far as stories about deaths allegedly caused by penis enlargement injections go.

According to law enforcement allegations, a dude wanted a penis implant, so he paid a woman — who had zero medical training — to inject silicone into his junk. It ended up in his bloodstream, and quicker than a bunny rabbit trying to make love to a balloon, he was dead. Now the woman is being prosecuted for manslaughter.

Welcome to New Jersey!

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