Non-Sequiturs

* Lawyer grabbing drinks in hotel bar accused of being a prostitute by security guards. In fairness, she probably said, “I bill out at $600/hour!” a little too loudly. [The Root]

* In finance, interns are only there for sex. Probably not how the law will see it. [Dealbreaker]

* Judge Kozinski found his way into another Atlas Shrugged movie. The true accomplishment of the mega-industrialists is funding two sequels of the first putridly reviewed movie. [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* Are you sick and tired of reading about the 10 books that your Facebook friends think will most impress you most influenced them? Here’s a much better question: the 10 Rock Songs that most influenced you… [What About Clients?]

* New Jersey has a new alimony law. So before you leave your wife for your goomah, check it out capische. [Larry the New Jersey Lawyer's Cogitations]

* Meant to write this up as a full post yesterday, but time got away from us. In any event, Geuaxjudge is Geauxone. Judge Michael Maggio, best known for launching racist and sexist comments about Charlize Theron’s adoption, has been fired by order of the Arkansas Supreme Court. [CNN]

* Following up on this afternoon’s piece about lawyering from home, maybe one overlooked factor is meeting your clients, at least once, in an office. [Law and More]

* This Friday, the CBLA and the Fordham IP Institute are hosting a visiting high-level legal delegation from China, including multiple judges from the Supreme Court of the PRC, multiple members of the Ministry of Commerce. If you’re interested, RSVP. [Chinese Business Lawyers Association]

* Mexican drug cartels are moving beyond shipping cocaine and are starting to grow the stuff too. As long as they stop hijacking lime shipments and driving up margarita prices. [Vocativ]

* The prosecutor who admitted Ray Rice into a pre-trial intervention program (and there are pros and cons to that decision) specifically denied the same option to a working single mother of two who didn’t realize her out of state gun permit wasn’t accepted. She was offered a 3+ year prison deal. Because, you know… prosecutors. [Huffington Post]

* If you’re planning on getting arrested in New Orleans — and who isn’t? — don’t get arrested at night. [The Times-Picayune]

* A federal judge is accused of sexual misconduct with a clerk. I had to check twice to make sure this wasn’t just a plot point in David’s upcoming book (affiliate link). [Waco Tribune-Herald]

* Defense lawyer allegedly drives drunk… to the courthouse. [Indianapolis Star]

* The complex legal tapestry of sandwiches. [The Atlantic]

* “Mathew Martoma’s Parents Raise Some Good, Less Good Points.” [Dealbreaker]

* If you were interested in the mélange of issues surrounding privilege, whistleblowing, and litigation finance, here’s a primer. [LFC360]

* Jimmy Kimmel asked some New York Fashion Week attendees about Justice Scalia. Hilarity ensues. Video embedded below… [YouTube]

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* Our columnist Steve Dykstra opines that Roger Goodell is not going to get fired over the Ray Rice investigation/non-investigation. But what we really want to know from Dykstra is his opinion on how badly the West is going to beat the East in this year’s Grey Cup. [Steven Dykstra]

* Apparently, we’ve been banned by Reddit. I think as editors we’ve posted on Reddit maybe 3 times in the last year, so it certainly isn’t our fault. Reddit notes “above the law will no longer be receiving traffic or page views from here,” which I guess is supposed to be a threat. Hey, don’t fault us just because our content is so good. *cue unimaginative trolling* [Reddit]

* A discussion of gutless women. [The Careerist / The American Lawyer]

* MGM might lose the rights to a pair of Clint Eastwood classics. Specifically, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, For a Few Dollars More, and Last Tango in Paris. [Hollywood, Esq. / Hollywood Reporter]

* The winner of the Hofstra Law School Mystery Short Story Contest is “A Prisoner of Time” by Lucian E. Dervan. That sounds like a 1980s Doctor Who episode. [Mulholland Books]

* Beau Brindley pleads not guilty to telling a witness to lie. So, that case is moving right along. [My Fox Chicago]

* Vermont Law School cites children’s story books. [Law School Lemmings]

* D.C. lawyer Jacob McDermott is climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro to raise money for LiveStrong. Check out his donation site. [LiveStrong]

* Because it’s been such a long time since the NFL has had a scandal, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is accused of sexual assault in a new suit. The Cowboys claim the suit is nothing but a money grab. No one knows a money grab like a franchise owner milking a new stadium partially financed by taxpayers. [USAToday]

* Dean Frank Wu explains why Hastings will survive the end of law schools. [SF Weekly]

* A pair of IP litigators, James W. Dabney and Stephen S. Rabinowitz, have jumped from Fried Frank to Hughes Hubbard. Will others be following Dabney & Rabinowitz out of Fried Frank? [Hughes Hubbard]

* “Lawyer’s ‘Torture Porn’ Past Pops Up in Pa. Governor’s Race.” OK, let’s see what you’ve got here. [Greedy Associates / FindLaw]

* An interesting breakdown of the legal scholars with the widest network of co-authors. Think of these as the most promiscuous scholars around. Actually, no. Don’t think that. [Ryan Whalen]

* Etsy sides with the USPTO and bans sales of anything branded “Redskins” on its platform. I’m not sure how smart this is since the economic teeth of the USPTO decision was to allow sites like Etsy to sell massive quantities of otherwise trademark-infringing stuff until Washington relented and opted for a new trademark-protectable name. [Etsy]

* Don’t throw peanut butter in my neighborhood (though I don’t understand the blotter… there’s no Bodega at that location). [Legal Juice]

* Lest you think law school is reasonably priced: “New IBR and PSLF provide benefits large enough that high earnings still result in nearly $100,000 in loan forgiveness for typical levels of debt for law school graduates. A lawyer earning at the 50th percentile with that debt level stands to have $147,282 forgiven, which is more than he borrowed…” [New America Education Policy Program]

* Keeping in touch with your inner child to relate to witnesses as humans. [Katz Justice]

* Closing out this football-heavy NS, friend of the blog Mitchell Epner discusses why Roger Goodell won’t (and shouldn’t) survive the fallout of the Ray Rice scandal. Check out the video after the jump… [CNBC]

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* A website has been set up to collect stories, videos, photos, memories, and more, to share with slain Professor Dan Markel’s young sons. His memorial is scheduled for next Tuesday. [Prawfsblawg]

* What would happen if lawyers gave out GPS directions? [Legal Cheek]

* George Mason Law is looking for a new dean. Brush off that résumé, Elie! [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Is it me, or do we need to buy Justice Kagan a new outfit? [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* The scion of a Biglaw bigwig (go ahead and guess which firm…) arrested for filming and distributing video of his sexual escapades with his girlfriend without her permission. It’s like revenge porn without the revenge element. [Law and More]

* Don’t bring creeps with you to a jury trial. [What About Clients?]

* David Letterman and CBS got smacked with the latest internship class action. To think, poor Paul Shaffer’s been working for free all those years. [Deadline]

* Class action could be on the horizon over high-frequency trading. [Wall Street Journal]

* Frankly, I don’t know what the problem is. [Washington Post]

* You may have been following the story of Justice Ginsburg’s officiating a wedding in New York this weekend. Well, if so, here’s the Times write-up. [New York Times]

* The federal courts are looking at tightening the word limits on appellate briefs. How do you feel about this move? I’m with the author that “The number of cases where attorneys think they need a word extension is greater than the number of cases that actually warrant one.” [New Mexico Appellate Law Blog]

* Scott Brown, formerly of both Massachusetts and the Senate, is threatening to sue Harvard’s Larry Lessig after Lessig labeled the Nixon Peabody “advisor on governmental affairs” a “lobbyist.” Lessig asks if the campaign preferred he write the more technical, “sold his influence to a DC lobbying firm.” Ha. [Time]

* Fordham professor Susan Scafidi, founder of the Fashion Law Institute and designer Narciso Rodriguez make the case for strong legal protection for fashion designs. [Room for Debate / New York Times]

* On Friday, Keith Lee wrote about a lawyer who billed a client for sanctions. We’ve written before about lawyers billing for the time spent boning their clients. A law professor who teaches professional responsibility asks: “Is billing for sanctions better or worse than billing for sex. I say sanctions. Can we have a survey on this?” Of course you can. Poll after the jump….

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* The Oakland Raiders have settled their cheerleader lawsuit for $1.25 million. Here’s to a season of crippling losses! [SF Gate]

* The death of law schools requires observing the 5 stages of grief. It’s DABDA right? Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Debt, AGAIN! [TaxProf Blog]

* You don’t need permission to change careers… though many law firm hiring departments are giving their implicit permission to a bunch of applicants. [Forbes]

* Justice Kagan stopped in on her old stomping grounds at Harvard Law. [Harvard Gazette]

* LexisNexis went Hollywood with a shout out in the preview for the Veronica Mars movie. Hopefully they’ll remember the little people when they make it big. [Business of Law Blog / LexisNexis]

* So, law professors, how did you spend your summer vacation? Because this Stanford Law instructor spent it finding security flaws in an online educational platform. [Slate]

* A juror who wanted none of the jury process is ordered to serve a timeout. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly]

* It’s not as exciting as his Dating Game appearance, but here is a video of Chief Judge Alex Kozinski riding a carabao. Beyond the jump… [YouTube]

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* Bob McDonnell, former governor of Virginia, guilty of 11 counts of corruption. Maureen McDonnell guilty of 8. If only they’d gotten that severance motion. [Wonkette]

* The best way to catch drunk drivers is to give them something to crash into. [Legal Juice]

* Chaumtoli Huq, a former general counsel to the New York Public Advocate, has filed a federal lawsuit alleging that NYPD officers arrested her for waiting on the sidewalk outside a restaurant. She says she was targeted for being Muslim. [Gawker]

* In somewhat related news, Prawfsblawg pointed me to this interesting Slate piece on the effect that body-worn cams — the en vogue solution to police misconduct pushed by many including Huq’s old boss — really have on policing. [Slate via Prawfsblawg]

* Google paying $19 million to settle the FTC suit over kids making in-app purchases. It was going to be a $5 million settlement, but the FTC told Google that they would let them skip level 410 in Candy Crush if they kicked in another $14 million. [Washington Post]

* Some people have a problem with duct-taping kids to force them to take naps. Kids are growing up soft these days. [Lowering the Bar]

* And guess what? The D.C. Circuit is hearing the Halbig case en banc. Nullifying any argument that the Supreme Court act immediately to resolve a circuit split. Seems like someone predicted this outcome while the mainstream media wet themselves over a Supreme Court showdown. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Adam Steinbaugh got a DMCA takedown notice for criticizing a company for… overactive DMCA takedown notices. He replies eloquently. [Adam Steinbaugh's Blog]

* As football prepares to kick off, there’s a new filing opposing the renewal of the broadcast license for Dan Snyder’s Washington-area radio station because it has a tendency to broadcast a particular racial slur over and over throughout the NFL season. [Corporate Counsel]

* If you’re a young law grad ready to give up on being a lawyer, it’s harder to move into another industry than you’d think. [Law and More]

* Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott sought an emergency stay to allow Texas to start shutting down abortion clinics despite a ruling that the law was unconstitutional. So he filed his motion at midnight on the Sunday before Labor Day. The Fifth Circuit does not brook this tripe. [Houston Chronicle]

* New research confirms deportations don’t lower crime rates. They do, however, help drive up the BS in political ads, so that’s nice. [New York Times]

* The confusing reports that Goldman Sachs was driving aluminum around Detroit to drive up the price of aluminum spawned a lawsuit. And that led to a dismissal. [Bloomberg View]

* This is why you don’t eat underwear… [Daily Mail]

* The legal battle surrounding Adam Carolla’s podcast is breaking up friendships now. [CNN]

* Lawyer busted for impersonating a Transformer. On that note, what would be the best name for a Transformer lawyer? Atticus Prime? L-Woods? Paddotron, who transforms into a clock that only measures tenths of an hour? [Jonathan Turley]

* Did you think your studying for the MBE could have used more original songs as study aids? Well, if so, you’re in luck because there’s an app called Study Songs that sets legal rules to music to help you remember. [Bar Exam Toolbox]

* New York courts are getting more and more fed up with the lack of relief available when lenders flaunt the law. [New York Law Journal]

* We’ve talked about litigation financing in the abstract before, but how can litigation financing help injured workers specifically? [LFC360]

* A former U.S. Attorney pleads guilty to not paying his taxes for years. [Las Vegas Review-Journal]

* In sad news, Sher Kung — part of the trial team that took down the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, and recently of Perkins Coie — was killed in a cycling accident on Friday. [Seattle Times]

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