Non-Sequiturs

Kevin Trudeau

* “How many years would you put a TV pitchman in jail? 3 years? 5 years? Don’t answer yet…” [Sentencing Law and Policy]

* So there’s a sex tape of Chris Christie. Except it isn’t him. They should have known Christie could never be a porn star. You can’t get far in the porn biz by saying, “This lane is closed.” [Gawker]

* Dolt Duped By Date Sues OKCupid. [NY Post]

* Patents are a terrible measure of innovation. Hold on, I defy you to besmirch the Anti-Drowning Hat. [Concurring Opinions]

* Wage theft in fast food shouldn’t come as a surprise, but the role played by the franchise model in creating labor law violations is intriguing. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* A gathering of business development tips, including shout outs to Anonymous Partner and Mark Herrmann. [Corporette]

* What better qualification to challenge for the Vegas DA’s job than to be prosecuted by that office days before the election? [Las Vegas Law Blog]

* A Baltimore lawyer aggressively used the habeas process to release mentally ill girls to serve as personal slaves to the wealthy. [Slate]

* Weil’s Business Finance & Restructuring team is putting together a March Madness bracket based on quotes from bankruptcy decisions. Let the excitement wash over you. Having not seen the bracket yet, I’m reserving judgment on what an awesome array of bankruptcy quotes would look like. [Bankruptcy Blog]

* Kevin O’Keefe, who presented on my panel at our Attorney@Blog conference, left all of us touched with his tribute to Above the Law. [Real Lawyers Have Blogs]

Perhaps a little less ‘undead’ than this.

* The many legal perils of being undead. [The Legal Geeks]

* A rundown of the St. Patrick’s Day crime in Chicago. Bravo. [Crime In Wrigleyville + Boystown]

* Why don’t clients do more to embarrass lawyers for billing to research mundane, obvious legal principles? [Inside Counsel]

* The real-life detective story that solved a 1407 murder. It’s like Murder, She Wrote: The Early Years. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Mmmmmm. Delicious, delicious evidence. [Lowering the Bar]

* It may not seem like it, but the Obama administration has done a pretty good job on antitrust matters. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Yes. Pay your interns. [Law and More]

* Erie Railroad is 75 and here’s a look back at its illustrious run. Well, it turned 75 last year, but it takes some time to publish a journal about it. Just pretend it’s last year and read the damn articles, all right? [The Journal of Law, Economics & Policy via the American Enterprise Institute]

* Fatwa against Fat. Wha? Saudi cleric issues Fatwa against all you can eat buffets. Old Country Buffet reeling from the blow to expansion plans. [International Business Times]

* Legislature close to disbanding speed trap town. [Lowering the Bar]

* Federal district judge who thought he was one of the Hardy Boys gets a benchslap from Judge Rakoff. [Josh Blackman's Blog]

* The dean of the DePaul College of Law, Gregory Mark, is stepping down at the end of the academic year. Administration issues are never fun, but this is better than another story about Augustus Sol Invictus. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* Respect is a two-way street. That’s why you don’t disrespectfully interrupt judges and judges shouldn’t berate lawyers for doing nothing wrong. [Katz Justice]

* The most overrated and underrated law schools. Go Ducks! [TaxProf Blog]

* Lawyer opts to wear orange prison scrubs for Lent. When you think about it, it makes a lot more sense than giving up chocolate when your religion is based on a death row inmate. [Waco Tribune]

* A profile of Bob Bennett. They compare him to Olivia Pope. Not sure about that… Bennett’s got bigger tits. [Washington Post]

* A Brooklyn lawyer reached out and grabbed his dream. Unfortunately, that dream involved the crotches of multiple unsuspecting women. [New York Post]

* George Zimmerman’s parents are suing Roseanne Barr, who apparently is still enough of a celebrity that people care to sue her. [IT-Lex]

* Married women can’t get divorced in Alabama. Look at the bright side, that means you can’t get a divorce lawyer who’ll bill you for sex. [Associated Press via WTOP]

* Play along at home with this handy tracker showing just how often the U.S. Chamber of Commerce prevails at the Supreme Court. It’s a long Supreme Court season, but based on the last couple years, the scoreboard might look disturbingly like the Super Bowl’s when all is said and done. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Hey, law schools! Looking for more students? It looks like a simple legal change can spike your applications. [Fox News]

* If you’re in D.C. next week, swing by the Race and Access to the Justice System symposium at Georgetown. [Georgetown Journal of Legal Ethics]

CIA Logo* The CIA official at the heart of accusations of intimidation made by Senator Feinstein is a lawyer. This marks the first time this guy has been called intimidating. [Al Jazeera]

* Check out these awesome graphs showing the change in the USNWR rankings of the top 50 law schools over the last six years. [LawyerWrit]

* Justin Bieber’s lawyer says his behavior in his video deposition is our fault. Of course it is. [New Day / CNN]

* “Dear Texas courthouse… We’ve been tapping your phones. Love, FBI” [San Antonio Express-News]

* Google’s getting sued for pushing addictive games with in-app purchases. [IT-Lex]

* The prosecution of Zachary Warren, who was 24 and only a few months into his job, for Dewey’s fall seems to be taking it a bit too far. [Belly of the Beast]

* A pair of lawyers are accused of tax credit fraud for going a bit too Hollywood. [The Times-Picayune]

* Lee Pacchia talks with Kent Zimmermann about the warning sent to struggling firms by the Dewey charges. Embedded after the jump… [Mimesis Law]

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* Missouri lawyer is hauled into a disciplinary hearing about his practice of showing a picture of a naked woman to a female client. He says it wasn’t about sex and he was just showing her the kinds of pictures that come up in a divorce proceeding. That sounds like a fine explanation. I mean, every divorce involves autographed photos of strippers. He also commingled funds. That’s less easy to explain. [Inside the Ozarks]

* Hey look! They brought back Debtors’ Prison. The prison-industrial complex has gotta get paid somehow. [Bergen Dispatch]

* Federal prosecutors in Manhattan are now looking into David Samson, the chair of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey and a Christie appointee. If government agencies aren’t for petty revenge and plunder, then what are they for? [Talking Points Memo]

* Insurance company cronies threaten that insurance company may have to get out of the business because of all the lawyers winning cases making the insurance company actually pay their contractual obligations. Don’t they understand the purpose of litigation is just to collect premiums? [Legal Newsline Legal Journal]

* How ACLU attorney Ben Wizner became Snowden’s lawyer. [Forbes]

* “One of the reasons I could never imagine being a lawyer is because you have to account for your time in 15-minute increments.” Thankfully she was corrected and told that lawyers are actually more irritatingly measured in 6-minute increments. [Dear Prudence / Slate]

* With all the talk of patent law reform coming from the President, this is an excellent time to look back at eight dumb patents. [Mashable]

* Spring break is here for many students, and I know what they’re all thinking: what are the tax implications? [TaxProf Blog]

* Man files suit because his adult son is addicted to video games. Well, with games like South Park: Stick of Truth coming out, who can blame him? [IT-Lex]

* Former Sandusky attorney under investigation for misappropriation of client funds. At least he’s only alleged to have showered himself with money. [The Patriot-News]

* Here’s a lesson in the value of knowing the law: DUI charges against a Chicago judge dismissed. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say, “the value of knowing the law needed to beat the rap after you’ve been arrested for totally forgetting the law.”[Checkpoints]

* Business development needs to be everyone’s responsibility in a law firm. Well, at the very least, it needs to be somebody’s responsibility. [The RelSci Web]

* Harvard Law professor seeks help writing regulations for the legalization of marijuana in Jamaica. Wait? It’s illegal in Jamaica? [HLS Administrative Updates]

* Here’s a blast from the past: Susan B. Anthony’s indictment for voting in the 1872 election. Turns out she was a woman. Who knew? [Slate]

* The New Yorker has a cartoon that hits the current state of Biglaw right on the head. [The New Yorker]

* People arguing for Crimea’s right to secede and join Russia may want to check out how much support the pro-Russia party got the last time they voted. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Key lessons that lawyers can learn from Google. Sadly, “make your logo a cool doodle” didn’t make the list. [Adam Smith, Esq.]

* The long-serving Chief Deputy County Clerk of New York resigned after being disciplined. But what in the world was really going on over there? The web is tangled indeed. [WiseLawNY]

* Idaho considering allowing guns on campus. Because armed students can stop campus shootings. It’s not like trained professionals ever make shootings worse. Rank amateurs should be just fine. [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Matt Levine describes how Dewey & LeBoeuf LLP should have taken a lesson from its clients and not used email so much while discussing possible frauds. [Bloomberg View]

* Should we be paying law student externs? Well, yeah, we should. That’s also the conclusion of Jay Edelson and Chandler Givens. [Legal Solutions Blog / Thomson Reuters]

* Speaking of Jay Edelson, his most recent high-profile case is a class action charging the now-defunct Mt. Gox — which stood for “The Magic: The Gathering Online Exchange” — with fraud in its loss of hundred of millions of dollars worth of Bitcoins. Hopefully he’s not getting a contingency in Bitcoin… because he could end up with about 20 cents for all his trouble. [PC World]

* The Legal Geeks have a podcast analyzing the legal issues involved in the recent Agents of SHIELD episode and podcast with Judge Matthew Sciarrino. [The Legal Geeks]

* Senator Ted Cruz continues discounting the value of a Harvard Law degree. This time on the subject of voting rights. [Election Law Blog]

* The Center for Public Integrity has won the Goldsmith Prize for Investigative Reporting for its work on the black lung controversy. We previously discussed CPI’s work examining the lengths Jackson Kelly went to in fighting to deny benefits to dying victims. Congratulations on the award and the great work! [Center for Public Integrity]

* The picture after the jump is probably not an appropriate way to talk about slavery.

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* Upskirt photos not illegal in Massachusetts. The spirit of Kennedy lives on! [Mass Live]

* The investigation continues into whether Judge Mike Maggio, who might be the infamous Geauxjudge, suffers from a bad case of the Internet Crazies — but in the meantime, his campaign for the Court of Appeals took a hit. [Arkansas Times]

* Speaking of judicial ethics, Judge Kimberly Brown has been removed from the bench in Indiana. She’s only the third judge ever to be permanently removed from the job. [Indy Star]

* Wachtell Lipton partner Ricky Mason and his wife, Hoboken mayoral candidate Beth Mason, have been charged with several election-law violations. Uh-oh. [PolitickerNJ]

* Which state just ruled that you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in texting… even if you’re texting about a heroin deal? [IT-Lex]

* Dewey love the judge’s name in the Barclays suit over the dead firm’s debts? Yes. Because “Popplewell” is an awesome name. [The Lawyer]

* The data are in, and the top college grads have passed an all-important math test: they figured out law school is a bad deal. [Associate's Mind]

* Yet another Florida law school dean has stepped down. This is what happens when you take a job in a state full of retired people. [Daily Business Review]

* Obamacare has been credited — and bashed — for a lot, but are we underselling its role in reducing prison populations? [Sentencing Law and Policy]

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