Holiday presents.JPG* What should you get for your assistant this holiday season? It’s a good question assuming your firm hasn’t already fired all of the assistants. [Corporette]

* Should the government revoke the tax exempt status of churches that financially supported Prop. 8? [TaxProf Blog]

* How about this solution: Bush won’t pardon all his war-on-terror minions, Obama won’t prosecute them, and politics can stay out of the courtroom? I feel like there is a whole constitutional article designed to make this happen. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* … Speaking of pardons, Ted Stevens is ready for his closeup. [WSJ Law Blog]

* I wish the concept of lawyer recall “far fetched” as opposed to “tremendously insightful.” [The Onion via Supreme Dicta]

* Don’t forget, ATL’s Meet the Editors is scheduled for tonight from 6:30 to 11:30 at Professor Thoms’. I’ll be there with Lat, Kash, Marin, and Eliza. We hope to see you there. [Above The Law]

Yummy turkey.JPG* I gave a brief interview to the LexisHub BBLP people. If you have questions that you’d like to ask, or simply want to hear more about my unified theory of everything, you’ll have your chance tomorrow December 2nd at Professor Thoms’ starting at 6:30. [LexisHub via BBLP]

* So far we’ve gotten a good number of responses to our Courtship Connections service, including many people who have self-identified as “women.” But more people will result in better matches, so fill out the survey and meet a fellow ATL reader. [Above The Law: Courtship Connections]

* Here is collection of blogs “officially sanctioned” by Biglaw firms. [3 Geeks and a Law Blog]

* … Speaking of popular law blogs, Above The Law has made the ABA Journal’s top websites for lawyers list. [ABA Journal]

* I’m unfamiliar with the concept of sending flowers to women after you’ve had sex with them, but I’m married. I’m very familiar with the concept of sending flowers to women after spending 10 hours in the warm embrace of the National Football League. [Sweet Hot Justice]

* If you like Blawg Review you should check out this week’s offering. If you like turkey you should also check it out. If you like offering injured turkeys up to the Gods of Blawg Review, then this link is a no-brainer. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog via Blawg Review]

pyramid scheme capstone small.jpg[Ed. Note: We'll be posting here and there over Thanksgiving. So check back in with us once Dad and Uncle Tommy start fighting over why we lost in 'Nam. Happy Thanksgiving!]

* The great Biglaw Pyramid is collapsing. Some people are actually pretty happy about this. [The Greatest American Lawyer]

* The firm United, States & America is still hiring. Here are some tips for landing the government job you could have scored straight out of law school. [BBLP via LexisHub]

* Blawg Review’s upcoming blue ribbon lineup. There’s not a turkey in sight.

[Blawg Review]

* Lawyers get laughs from the SCOTUS gallery. I bet there’s no bonus for that either. [Holy Hullabaloos]

* Outsourcing of legal work isn’t slowing down. I feel sorry for this year’s 1Ls. Next year’s 1Ls are just being silly. [WSJ Law Blog]

Robot associate can no longer afford clothes.JPG* Brian Leiter corrects the record about Richard Epstein. [Law School Reports]

* Did you know that there was a Proposition 9 in California? With all these voter referendums, could somebody please explain again why California even bothers to have a state legislature? [Johnny California]

* A clients caring (about bonuses) roundup. [f/k/a]

* There’s an argument that law firms should double the bonuses from what were given last year. It’s not a good argument. But hey, until some firm steps up to stop the bleeding (please save us S&C) I choose to grasp at the elusive straw. [Law and More]

* How nerdy do you have to be to refer to lawyers as “non-nerdy?” I mean, at that point are you rolling at 1d10 to see if you can “score” with that woman at the bar? [Topless Robot]

The world we live in.JPG* “Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from. Which is why the Matrix was redesigned to this: the peak of your civilization.” Just take a look at Cravath’s bonus memo from last year and read the happy comments. [Above The Law]

* A Houston based law firm is getting Miley Cyrus to perform at their holiday party. Yes, “harvest” should be even better next year. [Legal Blog Watch]

* A lawyer found a job! Sure, it was Paul Clement, and the job was at King & Spalding. But hey, a job’s a job. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Janet Jackson. Boob. Court. Holy crap did you guys see that Skadden is paying double bonuses compared to Cravath? [SCOTUSblog]

Spitzer's bane at beach.jpg* The ABA Journal bans a commenter and she immediately starts her own blog. I ban a commenter and he immediately sends me emails suggesting that I have an inappropriate relationship with my mother, but the grammar is perfect. Banned ATL commenters 1, banned ABA commenters 0. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Wow. I expect this from partners, but apparently clients also think that associates are fatted sacks of meat that are only good when they’ve been sliced, grilled, and served with a nice chianti. And that was before Skadden announced bonuses. [What About Clients?]

* Woman thinks women should stop acting like girls. [Law and More]

* Apple wins. ( /nods in silent deference.) [Legal Pad]

* Spitzer! Hooker! Talking! [Gawker]

carnivorous nightmare.jpg* Are you a lawyer and a vegan? If you’re not too weak, click on the link. [Professional Vegan]

* It turns out that the guy who started this company used to be a lawyer in Dallas. [World Beer Company]

* I can’t wait until Wendy Savage gets to play Wendy Savage in the Wendy Savage Story that is sure to be coming to a theater near you. [f/k/a]

* International tax rates on individuals are falling, in case Republicans are looking for some exit options before Obama takes office. [TaxProf Blog]

* There are many sides to the SEC v. Mark Cuban case. It’s not our place to judge, we just bring the popcorn. [The Cuban Revolution]

cartman stops family guy.JPG* The Pittsburgh Steelers owners supported Barack Obama. Now they’re trying to sell before the tax rates rise. Steelers pwns Bills. [TaxProf Blog]

* Finally, somebody is offering Nervous T-10 1L a job. [Legal Antics]

* A few tips for older people being pushed around by their law firms. [Law and More]

* I don’t see Prozac Nation author Elizabeth Wurtzel’s name on the NY BOLE website either. That makes me sad. [Gawker]

* Yes. To your friend Lat, you listen. [BBPL via Lexis Hub]

* Justice Antonin Scalia in, The Deer Hunter. [Tex Parte Blog]

* Twitter was invented by manatees who live in a tank full of idea balls. Trust me, I’ve met them. [Res Ipsa Blog via Blawg Review]

Max Shreck Biglaw partner.JPG* Okay, restaurant workers are suing their employers. Do you hear that Biglaw associates? I want everybody to stand up, go to the window, and scream … (Oh who am I kidding? If we try to blackmail them, they’ll just push us out a higher window.) [Midtown Lunch]

* Could Randy Moss become a SCOTUS justice? It depends on which one you are talking about. [Holy Hullabaloos]

* UT-Law is going to give a shout out to appellate lawyers. Perhaps Lawrence Sager will be there with a collection plate?[Tex Parte Blog]

* The irreplaceable Judge Judith Kaye will be missed. We hope she enjoys her well earned retirement. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* If Tupac were still alive, he’d know how to handle Kanye West. [Popsquire]

Lady and the tramp.JPG* The Disney-induced anthropomorphism of pets and the stunning decline in standards for law schools has come to its logical conclusion. There’s now a dog with a J.D. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Lawyers are rats! But only in Canada. [Law is Cool]

* Somebody did actual research to determine that “narcissists” lead most major law firms? Next, somebody should study whether lawyers are “risk-averse” or “risk-loving?” [ABA Journal]

* Morgan Stanley memo warning employees not to leak Morgan Stanley memos is leaked by Morgan Stanley employee to Dealbreaker. Because that’s just how Bess rolls in the 2-1-2. [Dealbreaker]

* Counteroffers are a bad idea. Just ask the experts. [Lateral Link]

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