random task small.jpg* The Austin Powers “Random Task” joke is too easy here. Instead, I’ll assume that this case will only provide further evidence for TSA officials demanding that we walk through nasty airports barefoot and broken. [What About Clients?]

* If you are going to comment on commenters, then ATL’s commentariat has to be part of that discussion. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Black-on-black criticism is a sign of progress. It’s good to remember that “the black community” is not a monolithic group. [On Being a Black Lawyer]

* Is Pass/Fail like an undercover police officer for prestige whores? [Legal Blog Watch]

* Blawg Review celebrates Bill of Rights Day. But do they celebrate all rights? I offer a cheers to the rights-happy Ninth Amendment … there are so many more rights just waiting to be discovered! [The Legal Satyricon via Blawg Review]

lipstick building.JPG* I was a little confused as to how Bernard Madoff’s giant ponzi scheme could have gone unnoticed for so long by authorities or investors. Then I heard that New York Mets owner Fred Wilpon was invested in Madoff. Now … everything makes sense. (This n-e-v-e-r happens to the Yankees. Ever. I’m going to short-sell K-Rod’s rotator cuff right now.) [Dealbreaker]

* Here are 11 things that Blagojevich was about to try. It’s pretty funny, but there’s no need to dog Rick Lazio (idea #3). “Strong” Island 4 Life! [Culture 11]

* There’s an etiquette for “thank you” notes? Maybe junior associates should start writing little thank you notes to their firms’ major clients. “Dear Sir/Madame: Thanks for utilizing only sound and legal business practices. I appreciate your ability to remain in business and resist the impulse to ruin my career. You’re the best!” [What About Clients?]

* A Tulsa 3L thinks that his colleagues have lost their “manliness” and as started a blog to help them find it again. Thing is, he’s married. Which means his advice — on things like carving a turkey and picking out a Christmas tree — can be summarized as “things real non-married men never, ever have to do.” I mean come on, carve a turkey? Real men don’t use “utensils.” [Legal Blog Watch]

* God Alyssa Milano is hot. No, I’m not a stalker or anything, but man. Umm … that Andy Samberg sure is funny. [Popsquire]

pregnant old lady elderly woman having baby.jpg* The fertile octogenarian: could legal fiction become reality? [Concurring Opinions]

* The twenty most popular law reviews to submit to via ExpressO. A quirky list, to say the least. [The Conglomerate]

* Has Kentucky engaged in “celestial outsourcing” of its homeland security needs? [Supreme Dicta]

* Want to teach case law to patent examiners? You might have the next Einstein in your class. [Securing Innovation]

* We’re suckers for awards and recognition, so we’re pleased as punch by this shout-out. Also, if you haven’t done so already, please vote for ATL in the Blawg 100. [Law and More]

Jessica Cutler Washingtonienne Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg* A behind the scenes look at the love story of “sex blogger” Jessica Cutler and Milbank associate Charles Rubio. The story claims she “went from slut to housewife in eight months.” The line on number of jokes from Rubio’s male friends directed at Mr. Rubio has just been taken off the board in Vegas. [Daily Beast]

* This won’t come as a galloping shock to any contract attorneys, but being a contract attorney blows. [Legal Blog Watch]

* What is a “Dreier?” How many packs of cigarettes is it worth on the inside? [Ideoblog]

* Republican SCOTUS hopefuls are very sad. In other news, Democratic SCOTUS hopefuls are battling for control of the conch. [Washingtonian]

* Remember attrition? Your firm does. They want it back. [Adam Smith Esq.]

Day without a gay.JPG* Tomorrow is scheduled to be a “Day Without A Gay.” In solidarity, tomorrow I will refuse to be spirited, happy, or carefree in any way. [Day Without A Gay]

* “Prawfsfest 4 is being hosted at the University of Miami from December 8th – December 10th. Law professors in Miami? Break out the Bengay and I think we’ll have a real party on our hands! [PrawfsBlawg]

* The New York Law Journal’s Top 100 report that we mentioned today also contained some interesting charts about the New York’s law schools. It’ll be fun to read how NYU students still claim superiority over Columbia students. But the real question is whether or not Touro can be stopped. [TaxProf Blog]

* Larry Craig lost his appeal. The lesson from Mr. Craig: Don’t plead guilty unless you mean to plead guilty … and something about proper toilet etiquette that I can’t quite remember. [Wonkette]

* The 3L market is dead. Some people see this as an opportunity. I see this as a reason to start ridiculing the class of ’12 before they even start. [Law and More]

albatross of biglaw doom.JPG* Mead and hookers. That’s what I remember from Lincoln’s Inn. [What About Clients?]

* Florida’s professional teams generally play in worse facilities than their college teams. Aside from the fact that I’d take the Gators (-3) over the Dolphins, Marc Edelman reports that new stadium construction is not always a good thing. [Rutgers School of Law-Camden]

* More people are going to law school (and B-School). Less people are going into Ph.D programs. No matter what Biglaw does to an associate, five more will rise to take his place. [TaxProf Blog]

* Sure, even if you have been laid off, you’re still a lawyer: a professional. But … even professionals need to pay “rent.” [Simple Justice]

* Profits per partner everywhere, but the bonuses still stink. Blawg Review tries to shoot down the albatross.

[Infamy or Praise via Blawg Review]

Palin Vogue.JPG* Take a look at these pictures and make your own decision. The world waits breathlessly for the birth(date) of Bristol Palin’s baby. [The Atlantic]

* Is the mystique gone from Biglaw? Not so long as Cravath can still pay people in prestige points. [Law and More]

* Would we be better off right now if accountants and other business professionals were part of the partnership at major law firms? [Legal Blog Watch]

* If your looking to supplement your income during these tough times, maybe you should consider being an expert witness. It was marginal for former Gawker and Jezebel writer Moe Tkacik (that’s what she said). [That's What She Said]

* A pox on your cow tax. [TaxProf Blog]

* Gary Coleman is tall enough to drive? Who knew? [Popsquire]

Indiana Law Indiana University School of Law Bloomington Above the Law blog.JPG* I believe every single IU student that reads ATL has pointed out that IU Law School changed its name to the Michael Maurer School of Law, thanks to a $35 million contribution from Mr. Maurer. Are there other BigTen schools that would be willing to sell the name of their law schools? How much do you think you’d have to pay Michigan to get it to be called the “Jim Tressel School of Law and Pansy Sweater-Vest Knitting?” [Indiana Daily Student]

* Procrastinating instead of studying for finals? You’ve got a lot of company. [The Shark]

* Is it even harder to control client costs when you are struggling to make your hours and are terrified of being fired? [What About Clients?]

* Kid Rock is getting into it with a Georgia judge. I think we’ll need more beer to settle this. [Popsquire]

* Remember Brobeck? Remember the man that ran them into the ground? He’s back … [WSJ Law Blog]

Holiday presents.JPG* What should you get for your assistant this holiday season? It’s a good question assuming your firm hasn’t already fired all of the assistants. [Corporette]

* Should the government revoke the tax exempt status of churches that financially supported Prop. 8? [TaxProf Blog]

* How about this solution: Bush won’t pardon all his war-on-terror minions, Obama won’t prosecute them, and politics can stay out of the courtroom? I feel like there is a whole constitutional article designed to make this happen. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* … Speaking of pardons, Ted Stevens is ready for his closeup. [WSJ Law Blog]

* I wish the concept of lawyer recall “far fetched” as opposed to “tremendously insightful.” [The Onion via Supreme Dicta]

* Don’t forget, ATL’s Meet the Editors is scheduled for tonight from 6:30 to 11:30 at Professor Thoms’. I’ll be there with Lat, Kash, Marin, and Eliza. We hope to see you there. [Above The Law]

Yummy turkey.JPG* I gave a brief interview to the LexisHub BBLP people. If you have questions that you’d like to ask, or simply want to hear more about my unified theory of everything, you’ll have your chance tomorrow December 2nd at Professor Thoms’ starting at 6:30. [LexisHub via BBLP]

* So far we’ve gotten a good number of responses to our Courtship Connections service, including many people who have self-identified as “women.” But more people will result in better matches, so fill out the survey and meet a fellow ATL reader. [Above The Law: Courtship Connections]

* Here is collection of blogs “officially sanctioned” by Biglaw firms. [3 Geeks and a Law Blog]

* … Speaking of popular law blogs, Above The Law has made the ABA Journal’s top websites for lawyers list. [ABA Journal]

* I’m unfamiliar with the concept of sending flowers to women after you’ve had sex with them, but I’m married. I’m very familiar with the concept of sending flowers to women after spending 10 hours in the warm embrace of the National Football League. [Sweet Hot Justice]

* If you like Blawg Review you should check out this week’s offering. If you like turkey you should also check it out. If you like offering injured turkeys up to the Gods of Blawg Review, then this link is a no-brainer. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog via Blawg Review]

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