Non-Sequiturs

  • I am John, and I speak for the billables.

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.10.15

    * The slashing of the Quinn Emanuel summer program gets the Dr. Seuss (a great legal inspiration in his own right) treatment. And from what we hear, John Quinn likes this cartoon so much he wants to buy the image. [The Recorder] * Prosecutors subpoena a 3 month old girl to testify. When informed of […]

    18 Comments / / Jul 10, 2015 at 6:00 PM
  • taylor-swift

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.09.15

    * If Taylor Swift doesn’t like a photographer she just shakes it off… and then roughs him up according to her contract. [Gawker]

    * Bankers commit crimes for the dumbest reasons. [Dealbreaker]

    * Chadbourne closes its Beijing office, leaving the firm with no more boots on the ground in Asia. It’s like the Asian Pivot… but backward. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

    * The Florida Supreme Court just ordered the legislature to redraw some of the state’s congressional districts before 2016. All that hard gerrymandering work for nothing, huh? [Reuters via Yahoo News]

    * Richard Hsu of Shearman & Sterling and the host of the Hsu Untied podcast finds himself on the other side of this interview. [One-400]

    * Massively underpaying lawyers. It’s not just for Massachusetts any more. [Legal Cheek]

    * Katten Muchin is back in hot water after the Seventh Circuit revived a malpractice suit. [Law 360]

    * Judge Rakoff relishes an opportunity to sit by designation on the Second Circuit. [Dealbreaker]

    * A reminder that Bloomberg BNA is hosting its inaugural Big Law Business Summit next week to hear from in-house counsel about the evolving relationship between Biglaw and its clients. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

    2 Comments / / Jul 9, 2015 at 5:25 PM
  • Time Warner is on both lines.

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.08.15

    * Time Warner Cable owes $229,500 for incessantly calling a woman after she demanded that they stop. Hm. Maybe this isn’t the right time to launch my new “Happy Dude” scam. [Reuters]

    * Tom Selleck in hot water for allegedly stealing truckloads of H2O in the midst of California’s drought. Claims he’s just the caretaker and the authorities really need to check out Robin Masters. [LA Times]

    * In the wake of Judge Kopf’s comments on Sen. Ted Cruz, Professor Kerr has found actual precedent involving Second Circuit Judge Guido Calabresi discussing George W. Bush. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

    * Law firm tax practice rankings are here! [TaxProf Blog]

    * Is your website optimized to sell your firm? [Law and More]

    * Have you ever invoked Rule 27 of the FRCP? Do you even know what it says? [What About Clients?]

    * Studying for the bar exam in GIF form. [Thought Catalog]

    * In case you missed our recent Weed Law symposium, you can now listen to the entire presentation here. [Legal Talk Network]

    3 Comments / / Jul 8, 2015 at 5:05 PM
  • Sandwich with unblemished record when it comes to FBI kiddie porn raids.

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.07.15

    * Police raided the home of Subway’s Jared Fogle. The media presumes the raid is linked to the ongoing investigation into a colleague of Fogle’s who may have aspired to introduce kids to his $5 footlong. [CNN]

    * Sex addiction is not a defense at your disciplinary hearing. [Legal Profession Blog]

    * Donald Trump sued Scotland. Apparently Prima Nocta hasn’t existed since Braveheart. [Lowering the Bar]

    * An ode to Partner Emeritus. [What About Clients?]

    * A legal secretary is suing Winston & Strawn pro se for discrimination. That should work well. [Cook County Record]

    * If you’re attending the ABA Annual Meeting in a few weeks, swing by and see Lat, Judge Posner, Laura Caldwell, William Landay, and Talmage Boston talk about writing and the law. [American Bar Association]

    * Defendant farts in open court. You’ll entirely believe what happens next. [The Lad Bible]

    15 Comments / / Jul 7, 2015 at 6:14 PM
  • Apple-Computer-Apple-Computers-Inc

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.06.15

    * Is Apple Music an antitrust violation, a second-rate streaming music provider, or both. Probably both. [Dorf on Law]

    * Former Goldman employee Sergey Aleynikov acquitted… again. Who would have thought Cyrus Vance’s trumped up show trial would fail so thoroughly? [Dealbreaker]

    * Landmark cases reimagined as movie posters. [Res Ipsa Law Poster]

    * If you missed it, here’s the New York Times Editorial about the “Activist Roberts Court” that everyone was talking about over the weekend. [New York Times]

    * In her defense, Sarah Palin may not be the dumbest person from Wasilla. [Legal Juice]

    * In the wake of Obergefell, will some holdout religious schools lose their tax-exempt status? [Tax Prof Blog]

    * Susman Godfrey’s Steve Susman chats with Richard Hsu about distance cycling. [Hsu Untied]

    25 Comments / / Jul 6, 2015 at 5:13 PM
  • US-Flag-Grouping

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.02.15

    Ed. note: Above the Law will have a reduced publishing schedule today and we’re off on Friday, July 3, in observance of whipping those English wankers a couple centuries ago.

    * After the German robot ran amok and killed a worker in a VW plant, prosecutors are struggling to figure out whom to charge in this violation of Asimov’s First Law. [Josh Blackman’s Blog]

    * Dean Erwin Chemerinsky thinks Ted Cruz is right about the Supreme Court. [The New Republic]

    * In the wake of Obergefell, Bloomberg chats with Margaret H. Marshall, the former chief justice of the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, who wrote the opinion making that state the first to legalize same-sex marriage. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

    * California February bar exam results. A couple of schools got a 100 percent passage rate. Stanford was not one of them. [Bar Exam Stats]

    * Love wins. The Chamber of Commerce wins more. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

    * A not-entirely-partisan argument that Justice Scalia should retire. He may be slipping into William O. Douglas circa 1975 territory. [Dorf on Law]

    * Did you know that David Lat was supposed to play Quentin Tarantino’s role in Pulp Fiction? I didn’t either until I saw this video (at 0:48). [ClickHole]

    47 Comments / / Jul 2, 2015 at 2:57 PM
  • A federal appellate judge trying to listen to iTunes.

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 07.01.15

    * “Sixty-year-old lawyers are out of touch with technology and today’s legal market.” ::nod:: [Chicago Lawyer Magazine]

    * Lawyer suspended with no possibility of reinstatement for at least 120 days after skipping the country during a client’s trial. And lying about it. She’s actually ended up in our pages before. [Legal Profession Blog]

    * Today, President Obama started smacking around for-profit schools, a group of people that, on a scale of 1 to ISIS rank about a 9. [Politico]

    * The economics of a solo practice are collapsing. Maybe lawyers should just change their mindset. Shhhh. That would really fuss with ATL’s editorial plan. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * Everyone’s talking about what was done to reach the marriage equality decision. What about what wasn’t done to get here? [Slate]

    * More exposition of the famous 12 Rules of Client Service, and a chance to give credit where credit is due. Today, “Rule 4: Deliver work that changes the way clients think about lawyers.” Or convincing them that you may be a human parasite, but you’re their human parasite. [What About Clients?]

    13 Comments / / Jul 1, 2015 at 5:07 PM
  • Official Photograph of Justice Anthony Kennedy

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.30.15

    * Justice Kennedy’s writing style… maybe it’s a little over the top. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * If you’re looking for representation at the Supreme Court, go small. [Law360 (sub. req.)]

    * Marriage equality is only one more step for activists. Next up, fair housing and overall equality. Perhaps on the housing case, we’ll get to hear Justice Thomas make some tone-deaf claim about how there’s no need for protection from housing discrimination because gays are overrepresented on Bravo. [RH Reality Check]

    * Don’t like the Supreme Court’s ruling in Obergefell? Why propose a constitutional amendment when you can propose a new constitutional convention? Runaway Con-Con! [Ab Initio]

    * A linguistic analysis of jiggery-pokery and the prose of Antonin Scalia. [The Chronicle of Higher Education]

    * A jury cleared the University of Iowa College of Law of “political discrimination” when it passed over conservative Teresa Manning’s application to join the faculty.[Associated Press via ABC News]

    * Everyone in New York received an Amber Alert over their phones earlier today. Did anyone crash their cars when their phone started screeching with sounds it had never blared before? [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

    12 Comments / / Jun 30, 2015 at 5:02 PM
  • Sandra_Day_O'Connor

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.29.15

    * Senator Ted Cruz describes his experience clerking for Chief Justice Rehnquist. We also learn what Justice Sandra Day O’Connor says about Internet porn. It’s not as exciting as Cruz would want you to think. Personally, I’d hoped she’d say something about “Long Dong Silver,” but alas. [POLITICO]

    * If you thought Justice Scalia was interminably grumpy before, today he exhibited some downright bizarre behavior. [Slate]

    * Lawyer disciplined for stealing wine. Lots and lots of wine. [Legal Profession Blog]

    * Has marriage equality rendered Chief Justice Roberts a footnote to history? [Reuters]

    * An in-depth look at New York’s Riker’s Island facility from the perspective of those who live and work there. And let’s not undersell the word “live,” since we have kids living there for 7 years awaiting trial. [New York Magazine]

    * Shearman & Sterling’s Doreen Lilienfeld discusses building gender balance in Biglaw. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

    * A thorough guide to Bitcoin for judges. But more importantly, a solidly academic title, “Realm of the Coin.” I see what you did there. [Fordham Journal of Corporate and Financial Law via SSRN]

    * Congratulations to former Bloomberg media attorney Charles Glasser, who will be teaching a course about investigative reporting at NYU’s Institute for Journalism. Too bad there aren’t really investigative journalism jobs anymore. Perhaps these are the kinds of classes that can bring those jobs back. [Talking Biz News]

    * The regret of every young person must be that they will never be able to duplicate this experience. [What About Clients?]

    7 Comments / / Jun 29, 2015 at 6:00 PM
  • rainbow flag court

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.26.15

    * Oh, the Onion… what would I do without you? Their take on gay marriage is masterful, as always. [Onion]

    * Conservatives, troubled with the Supreme Court’s decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, vow to move to Canada. There’s only one teeny, tiny problem with their plan… about a decade in the making. [BuzzFeed]

    * Of all the arrogant, jiggery-pokery, pure applesauce, Putsch! Find out exactly how Justice Scalia would mock you in this fun insult generator. [Slate]

    * Some Alabama counties have come up with a crackerjack way to avoid marrying same sex couples. [Vox]

    * The only way to get to today’s historical gay marriage case was to defeat the nomination of Judge Robert Bork, and Reagan aides always suspected this would happen. [Roll Call]

    * For marriage equality fans with a sweet tooth. [Ben & Jerry’s]

    * Surely you jest! Justice Scalia? Intellectually inconsistent to fit a political agenda? Pshaw. [BloombergView]

    * A handy guide to today’s landmark SCOTUS decision. [Legal IO]

    * News you can use: what is the legal status of cursing at cops? [The Marshall Project]

    36 Comments / / Jun 26, 2015 at 4:58 PM
  • Obamacare RF

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.25.15

    * Some people are very, very happy with today’s Obamacare ruling. [Constitutional Accountability Center]

    * And some people aren’t. Ah, Sesame Street conservatism: single words must be sounded out in complete isolation. Forget all those sentences and what not. [Breitbart]

    * But this is the best quip at Justice Scalia’s newly dubbed “SCOTUSCare.” [The Faculty Lounge]

    * Law student cleared of hit man murder of ex-boyfriend. [Legal Cheek]

    * What the hell is going on in Massachusetts? Bar exam passage rates are in from February: 56.6 percent overall, and only 66.7 percent for first-time takers. That’s pretty bad when you consider that last year, those numbers were 80 percent and 87 percent, respectively. [Massachusetts Court System]

    * It’s been a while since we checked in on the weird and wild “Judge Bill Pryor and Gay Porn” kerfuffle. Now there’s speculation on the man who brought the pictures to the fore. [Legal Schnauzer]

    * It’s hot out there, man. [What About Clients?]

    7 Comments / / Jun 25, 2015 at 5:54 PM
  • Justice Clarence Thomas

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.24.15

    * Justice Thomas parted with his conservative brethren on the Confederate flag case, but was it a product of his experience as an African-American? Don’t bet on it. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

    * A jury awarded $500,000 to a patient after doctors mocked him while anesthetized. For example, the anesthesiologist said, “I wanted to punch you in the face and man you up a little bit.” Maybe it’s me, but if he sued over that, it sounds like he absolutely deserved that punch in the face. [MedCity News]

    * This title says it all, “I Am An Adjunct Law Professor Who Teaches Five Classes. I Earn Less Than A Pet-Sitter.” [TaxProf Blog]

    * Have you ever wondered how blind people perceive and experience race? Really interesting findings from Professor Osagie K. Obasogie of UC Hastings Law. [Buzzfeed]

    * This may come as a shock, but a report finds that prosecutors cared more about securing convictions than protecting the public. [The Times-Picayune]

    * When we say the immigration system is broken, this is what we mean: 15-year resident with a Columbia Law degree about to be deported. [Vox]

    * In honor of the anniversary of Jaws last week, an examination of Quint’s legal duties to Brody and Hooper. When you consider his potential liability, perhaps he was better off getting eaten. [The Legal Geeks]

    * Federal government paying to scour sewage in Washington state to learn about pot usage post legalization. Note to federal government: they’re the dirty hippies, not you. [Seattle Times]

    34 Comments / / Jun 24, 2015 at 5:30 PM
  • In fairness, "Laser Coldplay" sounds pretty criminal.

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.23.15

    * Government argues that lasers are “insidious instruments normally used for criminal purposes,” which is… not true outside of Bond movies. [Lowering the Bar]

    * Local judge sues neighbors after “brutal donkey attack.” I guess you’d call this legal jackassery. [Seattle Times]

    * Eagles coach Chip Kelly slapped with $80,000 in back rent. His landlord claims he moved out too quickly because apparently she has never seen Chip Kelly in action. [The Legal Intelligencer]

    * Lost in Justice Kennedy’s comments on solitary confinement, Davis v. Ayala raised some important issues about jury selection. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * Interesting post on lynching and legal realism. [The Faculty Lounge]

    * Saint Thomas More on blogging. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * RMJ, the lawyer who revolutionized attorney advertising by taking In re RMJ all the way to the Supreme Court, has died. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly]

    3 Comments / / Jun 23, 2015 at 5:19 PM
  • Amal Clooney (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.22.15

    * Amal Clooney’s firm reportedly has a lawyer working for £1.50 an hour, which in U.S. dollars is “piddly squat.” [Legal Cheek]

    * People are pretty worked up over raisins. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

    * “A video shot in court shows a lawyer tussling with bailiffs and being forcibly removed in handcuffs from a foreclosure hearing.” Go on… [Daily Business Review]

    * Maybe that outsourcing thing was a bad idea for Biglaw. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

    * Keith Lee reviews Lat’s Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). [Associate’s Mind]

    * Yahoo! General counsel Ron Bell discusses the challenges and rewards of representing the tech giant. [Hsu Untied]

    * Speaking of Yahoo!, on the eve of Obergefell, here’s a quick guide to the American government’s war on gays. [Yahoo!]

    * Elizabeth Wydra, chief counsel at the Constitutional Accountability Center, discusses the Affordable Care Act with Bob Garfield. Listen now while the ACA is still a thing. [On The Media]

    22 Comments / / Jun 22, 2015 at 5:45 PM
  • unc_logo

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.19.15

    * The North Carolina legislature’s war on UNC Law School continues. The Senate just proposed a $3 million budget cut. Tarheels adjust by ending Civ Pro right before International Shoe. [The Herald Sun]

    * U.S. District Court Judge Rosemary Collyer enjoys living dangerously. When the D.C. Circuit tells her the CIA needs to disclose more about drone policy, she… tells the CIA to keep its mouth shut. AC/DC has a song about that behavior. [Politico]

    * Most attention is, justifiably, fixed on marriage equality and health care, but there are some huge pending decisions we’re overlooking. [Slate]

    * Will Chief Justice Roberts save Obamacare again? [Mother Jones]

    * Speaking of SCOTUS, Professor Ilya Somin and Constitutional Accountability Center chief counsel Elizabeth Wydra talk Supreme Court in this podcast. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

    * Career hiccups begin with you. So, you know, stop doing that to yourself. [Corporette]

    * Why have car insurance in this case? A fair question. [Legal Juice]

    * If you didn’t make it to see David speak with a panel of distinguished guests at the Fix the Court/Politico Supreme Court event this week, here’s the video! [Politico]

    3 Comments / / Jun 19, 2015 at 5:12 PM
  • male lawyer megaphone

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.18.15

    * It was First Amendment Day at SCOTUS this morning! Here’s a recap. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Exclusive report on the new CSOL president’s meeting with students. He explained how Infilaw had a terrible track record and offered nothing to the school. Just kidding! But he did suggest introducing “a Boy Scout-inspired ‘merit badge system’” to the school. So there’s that. [SC Lawyers Weekly]

    * Facebook made this legislator vote the wrong way on a bill. #banBoomers. [Lowering the Bar]

    * Texas became the first state to ban fracking bans. Looks like they understand hierarchical government in some situations. [Breaking Energy]

    * Allegations of political influence peddling in Orange County pot industry. I didn’t make it to the big ATL Business of Bud conference the other day, but this sounds scandalous. On the other hand, “drug trade influence peddling” used to involve fewer gavels and more Glocks, so this is a positive development. [OC Weekly]

    * Do you have strong feelings about FRCP 56(d)? You should. An excellent practice tip. [What About Clients?]

    * Tonight is the Family Violence Appellate Project’s annual Battle of the Lawyer Bands. If you want to see bands from Google, O’Melveny, Latham, Jones Day, Lieff Cabraser, and Kirkland & Ellis — and help a good cause — then you’d best be in San Francisco and head over to 1015 Folsom. Buy tickets at the link. [Family Violence Appellate Project]

    * You know who aren’t “Beliebers”? The Fourth Circuit. They swatted down Bieber and musical enabler Usher defending themselves against another artist’s copyright claim. Read the full opinion on the next page. [Fourth Circuit]

    9 Comments / / Jun 18, 2015 at 5:02 PM
  • student-loan-debt-e1414612604341

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.17.15

    * With student loan forgiveness earning public approval, the other shoe had to drop. Critics campaigning that any escape is “welfare.” If you were grasping for the proper pejorative it’s “Homecoming Queen.” [Concurring Opinions]

    * Hot mic alert! Lawyer broadcasts during recess that prosecutor is “in my pocket.” Only to the extent the prosecutor is now up your ass. [ABA Journal]

    * Maybe there’s hope for sentencing reform: 130 former judges, prosecutors and law enforcement officials sign a letter advocating for the Smarter Sentencing Act of 2015. The key is “former.” I’ll bet while they were running for office harsh sentencing was a-OK. [Sentencing Law and Policy]

    * Using the show Serial to teach good brief writing. [Legal Writing Pro]

    * Had you considered the marriage equality dimensions of Kerry v. Din? Me neither. But Professor Dorf did. [Verdict]

    * Law schools are increasingly hiring deans from within. Just another way of keeping Elie out of that dean’s job he wants so badly. [The Faculty Lounge]

    * What to do when hiring a contract attorney? Hm. Look for fear and desperation? Oh… oh, you’re being serious about ethics and stuff. [Daily Report]

    * The best description of the conservative argument in King: “the card says ‘Moops.'” [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia02fGpUQfU

    10 Comments / / Jun 17, 2015 at 5:05 PM
  • Veep-S02-720p-1080p-WEB-DL-Bluray-HDTV

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.16.15

    * The season finale of Veep offered a fun lesson in constitutional law. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * When the Supreme Court hands down Obergefell, will it punt the case by acknowledging a new layer of scrutiny? [Slate]

    * Kash Hill on Hulk Hogan’s suit against Gawker. Is a sex tape newsworthy if the guy’s bragging about his sex life on Howard Stern? [Fusion]

    * Florida and Florida State football players routinely circumvent the criminal justice system. Which… everyone kind of knew already. [ESPN]

    * Why “free IDs” are anything but. [Election Law Blog]

    * Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven? [Legal Juice]

    * Take this survey to put the time-worn law firm mantra of “collegial and collaborative” to the test. [Adam Smith, Esq.]

    * Bruce MacEwen of the aforementioned Adam Smith, Esq. breaks down the Am Law 200. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDI7okOMlYs

    12 Comments / / Jun 16, 2015 at 5:28 PM