Non-Sequiturs

* You’d think a tax attorney would remember to file a tax return. You’d be wrong. [SF Gate]

* You think you have difficult clients? Try representing a sovereign hellbent on making political hay by contradicting every representation you make in court. [Reuters]

* Dov Charney out at American Apparel. And he seemed like such a nice guy… [Slate]

* The Central Park Five civil rights lawsuit has settled for $40 million — or roughly $1 million for each year the accused spent in prison. [New York Times]

* It’s a bad week for everyone affiliated with the Miami Heat. Now they’re losing to bloggers. [South Florida Lawyers]

* In an unfortunate follow-up, the effort to unionize some lawyers at Bloomberg has fizzled and the primary organizer has been fired with no severance and a baby on the way. Which is surely a complete coincidence and not related to his organizing activity at all. [Fortune]

* Former Delaware Supreme Court Justice Carolyn Berger has resigned and she is not bashful that it’s all to do with being passed over as chief justice in favor of Leo Strine. [Delaware Law Weekly]

* Save the date, D.C. The 2nd Annual Go Formal for Justice gala will be held October 18. [DC Bar Foundation’s Young Lawyers Network / Facebook]

* Yale Law grad and former Senior Counsel to the World Bank, Karen Hudes, wants you to understand that JFK was killed over the gold standard and that there’s a species of coneheads in control of the Vatican. We should do a Career Alternatives on her. Video after the jump… [Starship Earth: The Big Picture]

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* Donald Sterling allegedly threatened to kill Shelly Sterling’s lawyer. Look Don, threatening to kill lawyers will certainly help your image, but you may be too far gone. [New York Daily News]

* “Tagger arrested for tagging courtroom while awaiting prosecution for tagging.” [Lowering the Bar]

* You know public law schools are more expensive today than in 1985. But just how much more expensive may absolutely shock you. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Law school tutor seems creepily excited about making students cry. [Sunshine and Potatoes]

* 17 bizarre lawsuits. I don’t know, I view the people making sure I get every delicious inch of my meatball sub as heroes. [Crime Wire]

* Dallas just threw its support behind reparations for slavery. Because obviously they didn’t bother to read the resolution. Democracy in action! [Gawker]

* J. Christian Adams misunderstands an election law. This shocks me not at all. In the past, he complained to me that Pam Karlan didn’t understand voting rights based on a panel I covered. She’s now the Deputy Assistant Attorney General for Voting Rights and Adams is still spouting off (affiliate link) about how the DOJ is bending over to service the Black Panthers. [Election Law Blog]

* Did you know the history of drones in America dates back to the Civil War? Well, now you do. And knowing is some proportion of the battle. Infographic below…. [Criminal Justice Degree Hub]

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* Donald Trump slapped with sanctions. [South Florida Lawyers]

* The very, very, very long arm of Canadian jurisdiction. [Slate]

* Alafair Burke, author of All Day and a Night (affiliate link), lists her favorite “lawyers are people too” books. In other words, fiction. [Omnivoracious]

* The latest assault on Hillary Clinton — dusting off an old story about a particularly nasty case where she served as a court-appointed attorney — is the latest in a string of political attacks on the foundation of the criminal defense system. [Washington Post]

* Tomorrow, the Family Violence Appellate Project is throwing a battle of the bands! “Banding Together To End Domestic Violence” features bands from law firms and businesses competing at San Francisco’s 1015 Folsom club. Voting is “Chicago-style,” with each vote $1. Buy tickets and submit “votes” at their website. [Family Violence Appellate Project]

* Professor Glenn Cohen of Harvard Law appeared on Rachel Maddow last night to discuss whether or not doctors should participate in executions. I guess no one would be around to complain about the six-month-old issue of People in the waiting area. Video below. [Rachel Maddow Show]

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* Law school kills brain cells. [TaxProf Blog]

* Dean Stephen C. Ferruolo takes on Justice Scalia’s recent critique of legal education. Oh, it’s on now. [Los Angeles Daily Journal]

* A look inside a mock law school admissions meeting. It’s not a Texas admissions meeting, so you’re still not going to learn the relative merits of a 128 LSAT. [Most Strongly Supported]

* Newsmax has a new cable network and it’s bringing on Professor Alan Dershowitz to offer “practical legal advice to ordinary Americans.” Hopefully he’ll be able to walk us through the legal points of Newsmax’s usual coverage of how the Black Panthers ordered Hillary to let Benghazi happen. [Digital Journal]

* PRIDE cometh before the court. [Likelihood of Confusion]

* A fourth case has been reopened in light of CPI’s expose of judges hearing cases despite financial conflicts. [Center for Public Integrity]

* Lip-sync battle starring 3L Ty Wood and Professors George Bach, Alex Ritchie, and Kevin Tu. Complete with cheesy effects! [UNM School of Law]

* Lawyer explains to court how people illegally implanted a silicon chip in her head. No word on her feelings about Mondays. [Tampa Bay Times]

* How much juice content did Coca-Cola think allowed them to market a product as juice? The answer will actually surprise you unless you really, really hate Coke. [PR Log]

* Defendants should not have access to the Internet because they could beat someone to death with an iPad. I guess. [Lowering the Bar]

* Mobile crammers settle for $10 million. The charge will appear on their next month’s phone bill. [Law and More]

* Like most things in life, the path to victory involves beginning from the KISS principle. [Katz Justice]

* Of all the over-the-top immigration control efforts in this country, arresting a couple in bed for not being “married enough” is one of the craziest. [Sun Sentinel]

* The American Bar Association, fresh off loosening its accreditation standards, is actually trying to dupe kids into thinking this is the best time to attend law school. Check out this ad. And if you want to play with it in Photoshop, that would be cool too…

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* While you weren’t looking, Phil Mickelson was cleared of insider trading of Clorox options. How does Lefty get his reputation back? Shooting better than 70 at Pinehurst would help. [mitchellepner]

* Lat reviews The Good Lawyer (affiliate link) by Douglas O. Linder and Nancy Levit. [Wall Street Journal]

* Canada grants asylum to Florida sex-offender. Maybe Canada can give a hand to Crystal Metheny. [National Post]

* Lawyer charged with stealing from clients defends himself: “[Wife] had become accustomed to a lavish lifestyle that generated living expenses of $40K per month.” Well then! [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

* Can President Obama just raise taxes unilaterally? Apparently so. [DealBook / New York Times (gavel bang: TaxProf Blog)]

* So as I read this, someone who definitely bought prostitutes to influence people is accusing someone else of allegedly buying prostitutes to influence people. [Forbes]

* How to make the most of your summer associate experience and not screw up spectacularly (though if you choose to screw up spectacularly, please do it in a reportable way). Video below… [Mimesis Law]

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* Opening fire because a fast food place screwed up your burger order would be crazy. If they did it a second time? Well… [Lowering the Bar]

* McCutcheon at work in North Carolina. Yay free speech! [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Texas prosecutor compares NAACP member to white supremacist. Because those are totally the same thing. [Houston Chronicle]

* In case you’ve ever wondered who’d win a fight between DMX and Justice Frankfurter, here’s your answer. [Slate]

* Having more fun with gun nuts. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* We’ve discussed trial by combat’s past before, but is it still a real thing? Video below, including shout-outs to Professor Adam Winkler. [The Young Turks]

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* The intellectual property history of dog leashes. How long is a patent in dog years? [Slate]

* Trinity Western University, the new law school that bans gay people, just earned a thumbs down vote from thousands of area lawyers objecting to its accreditation. [CBC]

* 10 real-life laws that regulate the supernatural world. [io9]

* There’s a new bill of rights in this country and it comes from the IRS. The right to basically avoid taxes is only on the form for rich people. [TaxProf Blog]

* Mass incarceration in this country degrades citizenship. Sadly, this statement needed to be made. [Boston Review]

* After receiving an award, a young lawyer blasts legal aid cuts. [Legal Cheek]

* The Daily Show examines the ongoing effort to unionize college football with commentary by Dee Dee Benkie. She’s wrong of course — college football unions would work like professional sports unions representing players who face exactly the same workplace hazards, instead of stereotypical longshoremen — but it’s good to see even an anti-union advocate agreeing that players deserve something more than what they currently get. Video below…. [The Daily Show]

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* When you look back and see only one set of footprints, that was when Jesus was telling you, “Don’t go to law school.” [Law School Lemmings]

* Attention summers! Here’s a cavalcade of advice on not acting like an a**hole. [Corporette]

* ABA committee approves new accreditation standards allowing more students to enter without taking the bar exam. Texas breathes a sigh of relief. [LSAT Blog]

* This is the nerdiest law school final ever. Bravo. [Law and the Multiverse]

* Judge and prosecutor discuss dinosaurs. [New Yorker]

* I know a physician sending sexts while patients are under is serious, but I just can’t help but envision Dr. Nick Riviera. [Seattle Times]

* Law firms are rushing to get into the marriage equality game — but only on one side. [Reuters]

* Here’s a nice little listicle of famous female criminals. Just in time for Orange Is The New Black. [Arrest Records]

* Virginia State Senator resigns and changes the leadership of the Senate to the opposite party. Why would he do this? His daughter isn’t going to get a judgeship out of this or anything is she? [Slate]

* The Republicans are in long-term trouble. Maybe they should consider becoming the “party of innovation.” Apparently regulation is the only thing holding that back. Not investing in education, infrastructure, or having a government hostile to science. [National Review]

* Philip K. Howard, the author of The Rule of Nobody (affiliate link) sat down with Jon Stewart on The Daily Show last night. Video after the jump….

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* Jury duty is the only major civic duty that no one ever talks about. Professor Andrew Ferguson would like to change that by encouraging jurors to speak up about their experience. Enjoy learning how the sausage of justice is made! [Huffington Post]

* Verizon threatens to sue Netflix for honestly reporting how bad Verizon’s internet speeds are. [DailyTech]

* Hey, after all those threesomes, Case Western Med School is the one in court over “professionalism” concerns. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]

* Of course a case about using a chemical weapon on a mistress is named “Bond.” Let’s examine Justice Scalia’s curious concurrence, shall we? [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Dragons and isolationism. Makes sense. [The Legal Geeks]

* Cybercrime is pretty costly. [Lawfare]

* The emerging schism in the LGBT community on whether the term “Tranny” is empowering or a slur. Of course this is Legal Insurrection coverage, so the conclusion here is everyone who’s not with the straight white male program should just keep quiet, but the issue itself is interesting. [Legal Insurrection]

* Judge Kopf was asked to review Uncertain Justice by Professor Tribe and Joshua Matz. He didn’t want to do it, but thankfully he changed his mind. [Hercules and the Umpire]

* Slate Money discussed the Second Circuit’s reversal of Judge Rakoff last week and cited Above the Law specifically for the word “benchslap.” [Slate Money]

* Congratulations to UC Hastings dean and occasional ATL columnist Frank Wu on his reappointment as chancellor and dean! [UC Hastings]

* Lawyer + Cat = Internet win. Here’s the pic that’s going viral… [Imgur]

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