Non-Sequiturs

* Yale Law School Dean Heather Gerken argues that free speech is safe on law school campuses, because law students are better prepared to hear controversial arguments. It’s a nice thought. It’s also the early leader in the “famous last words” clubhouse. [TIME]

* By quoting Martin Luther King Jr., Jeff Sessions mocks him. [Jezebel]

* The right way to protest the anti-choice crowd. [Daily Mail]

* I like smacking around Donald Trump Jr. as much as the next guy — well, unless the next guy is his father. But I’m keeping my eye on the real prize, Jared Kushner. [Vox]

* Airbnb host was fined $5,000 for cancelling a reservation because the guest was Asian. Trump has made white people bold, man. [Business Insider]

* Obviously the biggest news this weekend is that Game of Thrones is back. [The Root]

* Over on the Alt-Right, they’re starting to eat themselves over healthcare. The smartest possible thing for them to do would be to repeal “Obamacare” and replace it with exactly the same thing as Obamacare, but call it “White Pride Care” and be done with it. But they still haven’t figured that out. [Breitbart]

* A look at how Marc Kasowitz’s firm does business. [Big Law Business]

* The TRUE story behind what it’s like to be a lawyer in Trumpland. [McSweeney’s]

* Even Marc Kasowitz is shocked — SHOCKED! — over the reality. [Politico]

* Your daily reminder that you really should give money to the ACLU. [The Slot]

* Playing the “What Coulda Been” game with Chris Christie’s career. [Law and More]

* Dems are gunning for Jared Kushner’s security clearance. [Huffington Post]

* Being versatile increases your value as an M&A lawyer, as Forrest Alogna and William Savitt explain. [American Bar Association]

* It’s like he has no idea how the law or politics or… anything works. [CNBC]

* Above the Law turns 11 next month, and David Lat explains to Karl Florida of Thomson Reuters how it all began. [Legal Current]

* The allegations about Marc Kasowitz’s drinking problem might be salacious, but the issue of alcohol abuse by lawyers is serious. [Law.com]

* Fun for legal nerds everywhere: Chief Judge Diane Wood benchslaps parties for shoddy jurisdictional statements! [On the Case / Alison Frankel via How Appealing]

* And more fodder for #appellatetwitter types: Adam Feldman ranks the most-cited justices of the last Supreme Court Term. [Empirical SCOTUS]

* Chris Geidner wonders whether another shoe will drop concerning the emails of Donald Trump Jr. [BuzzFeed]

* The trial judge in this defamation case ought to read this analysis by Professor Eugene Volokh — or at least watch The Big Lebwoski (“For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.”). [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Professor Paul Horwitz comes to the defense of the latest controversial comments by the artist formerly known as Judge Richard Posner. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Chuck Schumer wants Donald Trump Jr. to testify under oath. Given DTJ’s contempt for anyone not named Trump, this promises to be appointment viewing. [The Hill]

* The Gawker case is keeping the heat on litigation finance. [Law360]

* What you need to know if you have a law firm as a client. [Law and More]

* In case you need more sources to point out the obvious. [Huffington Post]

* Your most important question about Spider-Man: Homecoming, answered. [Slate]

* I know you want to hear Elie Mystal arguing over Kelo v. City of New London, I just know it. [The Greenspace]

* Have you ever ridden a bike? Are you interested in a scholarship? Check out this law firm’s application. [Utah Advocates]

* The biggest Biglaw story today is that New York’s “summer of hell” has started. Amtrak promises that Penn Station will be fixed by Labor Day. But if the repairs linger into the fall, I promise you the extra commute will be the straw that breaks the back of Manhattan lawyers who live outside the five boroughs. [NPR]

* I’m really conflicted about America’s response to the “opioid crisis.” On the one hand, treating drug addiction like a sickness instead of a crime is clearly the right way to go. This first of its kind “Opioid Court” in Buffalo is a fantastic idea. On the other hand, black people have been suffering from addiction for years, and far from caring about it, white people have used drugs as an excuse to murder us and incarcerate us. NOW that some white girls are hooked, y’all want to give a crap? Can it be a really laudable evolution if it’s covered in racist hypocrisy? [NBC News]

* I learned a new racial epithet, courtesy of the Brexit people. [Independent]

* When the headline reads “Lawyer is reprimanded over penis amputation suit” I have to include it. Because I am a grown man and not a ten-year-old. [ABA Journal]

* The Miami Marlins are suing season ticket holders who renege on long term contracts. I say again, the Marlins are suing their own fans. The fact that this franchise has won two championships in the last 20 years is all the proof I need that God does not give a f**k about sports. [Miami New Times]

* In other sports news, Chris Christie is auditioning to fill Mike Francesca’s sports talking spot this week on WFAN. Christie will be GREAT at: framing every athletic competition in terms of moral struggle, secretly schilling for the interests of billionaire owners over the rights of their employees, and belittling and humiliating people who call in to express their opinion. Christie will be better at this than anything he’s done before. [Deadspin]

* Louisiana police officer is suing… #BlackLivesMatter over the police ambush that left three officers dead. It should be noted that the person who shot the police officers was brought to swift and brutal justice, while the officers who shot and killed: Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Walter Scott, Kieth Lamont Scot, Jamar Clark, Jordan Davis, Philando Castille, Laquan McDonald, Terence Crutcher, and Alton Sterling are still running around here free to sue whoever they want. [CNN]

* I try to bother you with Alt-Right news only on Friday, but I had to check in with how they’re handling the Don Trump Jr. “of course I tried to collude with the Russians” revelation. Here, the New York Post calls the story a “yawn,” because apparently everybody would naturally try to collude with a foreign government if they promise dirt on political opponents. So the Post says they were just talking about the Magnitsky Act and Russian adoptions. Thing is, Russia’s adoption policy was retaliation for sanctions against it contained in the Magnitsky Act. So by talking “adoptions” they really were talking “sanctions,” WHICH THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO DO. [New York Post]

* Indiana Jones v. Hobby Lobby. JUSTICE ALITO delivered the opinion of the court. [Held] As applied to closely held corporations, regulations prohibiting the purchase of stolen antiquities violate the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which clearly states the Christian companies like Hobby Lobby can indirectly fund ISIS should the black market or stolen artifacts have relevance to their deeply held beliefs. Petitioners’ claim that it belongs in a museum is denied. [NBC News]

* The Supreme Court lifted the injunction against Wisconsin’s “cocaine mom” law, which allows the state to send expectant mothers to jail because it claims jurisdiction over the unborn fetus. It just goes to show that it’s better to be unborn in Wisconsin than actually having to live there. [ABA Journal]

* States are suing because Betsy DeVos is delaying Obama regulations designed to protect students from for profit colleges. Given that the head of one of these “universities” is now the President of the United States, I do wonder what good a few regulations are going to do. The fox is already in the hen house, do I really care if he opens the gate for the rest of his friends? At this point, I blame the dumb ass chickens for being such easy prey anyway. [U.S. News]

* Man arrested for assaulting his roommate during an argument about Star Wars vs. Star Trek. We don’t know what side he was on, but I’d like to point out that the alleged assailant is black. Dear everybody who called me “oreo” in middle school: this brother here was willing to go to jail over Trek v. Wars. He grabbed the blade end of a knife with his bare hands. Please, go tell him he’s not black enough because he has a deeply held opinion about science fiction. Report back how that goes for you. [The Root]

* Penn State football is being counter-sued by a coach who claims that there were “intolerable” working conditions. I know nothing about the veracity of the coach’s claims, but I’m pretty sure they could have forced him to diagram plays in his own blood and that wouldn’t make the top ten “intolerable things that have happened in the Penn State locker room.” [Deadspin]

* Obviously, the big Alt-Right story this week was the CNN blackmail letter. The Alt-Right pot caught the kettle being black as night with CNN’s veiled doxxing threat. The thing that’s weird about the Alt-Right’s obsession with CNN is: they seem to be the only ones watching the network. Like, this story details CNN’s recent ratings struggles, but who is really surprised by that? CNN is not a #resistance network, and it’s not a white supremacist network. Running a network for “moderates who like to be screamed at by partisans from both sides,” seems like a good idea to who? CNN is not balanced: it just gives equal airtime to both extremes, creating a dystopian false equivalency that venerates Don Lemon’s ability to make every thoughtful person on the planet hate his guts. If CNN is the great scalp the Alt-Right wants to take, they can have it. Wake me up when they come for the NewsHour. [Breitbart]

* Neil Gorsuch has already changed the Supreme Court for forever. [Rewire]

* Which attorneys/firms racked up the most SCOTUS wins in 2016? [Empirical SCOTUS]

* One small step back for Trump’s EPA, one giant step forward for breathing. [Ars Technica]

* Yes, it is a message to Donald Trump. No, he won’t listen. [Huffington Post]

* If only we had a system of laws that would prevent a company from buying their largest competitor and thereby decreasing competition in the market. [NPR]

* Scandals might change the media landscape. [Law and More]

* In every good lawyer there’s a little bit of Wonder Woman. [TaxProf Blog]

* Now that the Supreme Court Term is over, it’s time to take stock of SCOTUS. Writing in the Wall Street Journal, law professors Sai Prakash and John Yoo posit that the staunchly originalist Justice Thomas “might have found a fellow traveler in Justice Gorsuch.” [How Appealing]

* Speaking of the Journal, it’s the end of an era: the beloved WSJ Law Blog is no more (but note that the Journal’s stellar legal coverage will remain in the newspaper and online). [WSJ Law Blog]

* There’s an embarrassment of riches hen it comes to SCOTUS Term wrap-ups. The MoloLamken overview is always one of the best — and one of the most useful, for the many Above the Law readers representing big business as lawyers in Biglaw. [MoloLamken]

* And if you like your Supreme Court reviews live, check out this one tomorrow night at the 92nd Street Y here in New York, featuring an all-star cast of commentators: Dan Abrams of ABC News, Joan Biskupic of CNN, Dean Trevor Morrison and Professor Kenji Yoshino of NYU Law, and moderator Thane Rosenbaum, director of NYU’s Forum on Law, Culture & Society. [FOLCS]

* Will Chief Justice John Roberts’s recent speech at his son’s graduation go down in history as one of the best commencement addresses ever? [Jane Genova — Speechwriter-Ghostwriter]

* And where is the Chief Justice spending the summer? Like many of his colleagues on the Court, JGR is leaving the country (and given what D.C. is like in the summer, you can’t blame him). [The Economist]

* A piece by NPR’s Nina Totenberg over the long weekend reignited the Justice Kennedy retirement rumors (which I’ve thrown cold water on last year and again last week — but even I admit that AMK might retire around this time next year). [Daily Intelligencer / New York Magazine]

Ed. note: Early wishes for a happy July 4th weekend! We’ll be back on Wednesday, July 5 (barring unforeseen news).

* I don’t know that free speech is under cultural attack, as this post argues. But I do think people are using lawsuits to bash speech they don’t like. Instead of lecturing people about the sacred right of Nazis to intimidate people on Twitter, I’d rather the First Amendment crowd came up with a real regime of sanctions for people who bring lawsuits against clearly protected speech. I just don’t know that the Deplorable fanboys would recognize that as a sufficient way to fight for their freedom to talk out of their asses. [Popehat]

* The Fifth Circuit has now conferred qualified immunity on expert witnesses, deployed to spout whatever nonsense the government thinks will help them gain a conviction. The Democrat who runs on a criminal justice reform platform that included changing the rules around qualified immunity would probably get my vote. Instead they’ll probably run a Goldman executive with an innovative plan to retrain bigoted hill people for the hi-tech jobs of the future. [Simple Justice]

* What Trump is actually trying to do with his voter fraud investigation is horrifying. But Professor Rick Hasen says it won’t work, and I’m going to trust him because I do not want to get pissed off about a whole new thing this close to a long weekend. [Slate]

* Texas isn’t sure that same-sex marriage means that same-sex couples get marriage benefits. Sigh. Look, Texas is going to lose its fight against gay people, eventually. YOU HEAR THAT YOU HAT WEARIN’ COWBOYS? Gay people are going to kick your ass and have sex in your Alamo. [Texas Tribune]

* Based on the settlement data, The Root came up with a methodology to calculate the worth of a black life. Ballpark, the state pays about $3,364,875 per family for the right to kill us without criminal accountability. If you’ve got thoughts about how the state spends too much money in settlements, keep them to yourself. [The Root]

* Stay safe out there this long weekend. The Texas Law Hawk has some fireworks safety tips. [Texas Law Hawk]

* Checking in with the Alt-Right, I could go with all the stories about how people have called Kellyanne Conway “ugly,” which is apparently the Alt-Right defense for the president mocking Mika Brzezinski? But this headline is just too good: “Germany Surrenders to Trump, Waters Down G20 Climate Plan #Winning” They’re making water puns, y’all. They are defiant. You can’t even blame the Earth for trying to kill all of us. [Breitbart]

* Everything you need to know about Biglaw jargon. [Big Law Business]

* Assistant Attorney General Jeffrey Wood and the burgeoning environmental racism scandal. [The Root]

* Fascinating podcast about negotiating a career as a woman in the law. [Legal Executive Institute]

* On the buying and selling of FCPA enforcement officials. [FCPA Professor]

* Do you even want to get into a T-14 law school? [Law and More]

* Well, this is an awful idea. [Huffington Post]

* Zillow’s C&D letter against a popular blog. [Jezebel]

* Very interesting piece by Mark Joseph Stern on Justice Neil M. Gorsuch’s dissent in Pavan v. Smith (aka the “LGBT parents on birth certificates” case). It seems to me that Justice Gorsuch’s statement is technically correct — the Arkansas Department of Health (1) was okay with giving the named plaintiffs their birth certificates and (2) conceded that in the artificial-insemination context, gay couples can’t be treated differently than straight couples (see the Arkansas Supreme Court opinion, footnote 1 and page 18) — but it’s either confusing, at best, or misleading and disingenuous, at worst (the view of Shannon Minter of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, counsel to the plaintiffs). [Slate]

* Speaking of Justice Gorsuch, Adam Feldman makes some predictions about what we can expect from him in the future, based on his first few opinions. [Empirical SCOTUS]

* Professor Rick Hasen has made up his mind on this: “Gorsuch is the new Scalia, just as Trump promised.” [Los Angeles Times]

* The VC welcomes a new co-conspirator: Professor Sai Prakash, a top scholar of constitutional law and executive power. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Now that Harvard Law School will accept GRE scores in lieu of LSAT scores, what do law school applicants need to know about the two tests? [Law School HQ]

* And what do Snapchat users need to know about the app’s new “Snap Map” feature? Cyberspace lawyer Drew Rossow flags potential privacy problems. [WFAA]

* Antitrust laws are going strong... in the EU. [Huffington Post] * And antitrust might just be getting a little boost right here at home. [The Hill] * Trolling journos is a great way to kill democracy. [Forward] * Confused by the travel ban ruling? You're not alone. [Slate] * Marilyn Mosby is under attack. [The Root] * Trump could be hurting the perception of the American legal system. [Law and More] * Liz Warren is out in front on health care. [Salon]

* Maybe the news outside of the Supreme Court is a little more positive today? Oh, looks like the CBO scored the GOP healthcare bill and figured out that 22 more people will be… uninsured. Wait, that can’t be right. That’s not what Trump promised and we know that he never, ever lies. [CNN]

* Donald Trump is now accusing Barack Obama of colluding with the Russians to help Hillary Clinton. Lately, I’ve been really trying to think back to kindergarten to try to remember what precisely I said when a kid said “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.” And I realize, I didn’t have a response. I didn’t have a strategy or polemic designed to blunt the effectiveness of that argument. Kids just, you know, grew up and stopped saying it. … I worry about our future. [NBC News]

* Note to self: challenging white people on white people television is dangerous for my career. Note from every black intellectual ever: Duh. [The Root]

* Middletown, Ohio councilman suggests that EMS should stop immediately responding to overdose emergencies to save money. I wish I could be there when the final cost of the wrongful death lawsuit is put into the Middletown budget. Like, it’d almost be worth one of his constituents dying just to see his crying, stupid face when the jury awards damages. [NY Daily News]

* But not actually worth it. Philando Castile’s family settled with the city for $3 million. And it just reminds me that the cities would rather pay millions of dollars every few times their police officers murder someone, instead of doing anything to stop the murderers and hold their officers accountable. [NPR]

* Martin Shkreli’s fraud trial started today, but everyone in the jury pool obviously knows the price-gouging douche-bro. So once again we’re in a situation where we’ll need to find jurors who don’t know Shkreli, because to know him is to loathe him. [Are Technica]

* An off-duty African-American police officer responded to gunfire heard from his apartment by grabbing his service weapon and heading out to assist his fellow officers. How do you think this blurb is going to end? If you answered “I don’t have enough facts yet to know the outcome,” you are an idiot or a child. If you answered “the white officers shot him,” you are right, of course. If you answered, “the white officers detained him, realized their mistake, released him, and then a late arriving officer shot him, and the police lied about it for a day until a newspaper reported out the story,” then you somehow knew that this went down in St. Louis. [New York Daily News]

* The Fifth Circuit lifted a ban on a bill that will allow Mississippi to discriminate against the gay community. Story time: I saw this story in Morning Docket, and just now tried to Google it for comment in this column. I couldn’t remember the exact details, so I just typed in “Mississippi gay bashing bill.” Couldn’t find what I was looking for. I thought a little and then tried “Mississippi religious freedom law,” boom, Google gave me all the links. Here’s the thing: I refuse to use the language of the oppressors. This bill is not about religious freedom, it’s about gay bashing. I’m going to call it as such, I’m going to tag it as such, and I hope others will join me in reserving “religious freedom” for worshipers while telling bigots exactly what they are. [USA Today]

* Undercover police officer handcuffs three teenagers on the National Mall for… selling water without a permit. The kids were black, of course. At this point, I’m pretty sure a police officer could be dying of thirst and I could have an entire river sloshing around in my backpack and I wouldn’t tip it out so that the officer could lick the water off of my foot. BECAUSE IF I REACHED FOR THE WATER THE DESICCATED OFFICER WOULD STILL SHOOT ME AND SAY HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING FOR A GUN. [U.S. News]

* Recipients of the prestigious Rangel and Pickering fellowships, aimed at helping minority applicants get started at the State Department, have been told by Trump’s State Department that only temporary, non-career positions are available to them this year. I think I’m okay with that, insofar as I don’t want any foreigner thinking that non-white Americans have a lot to do with this embarrassment of a country. We just work here. [Independent]

* I’ve got to do some plugs in a second, so my editorial sense tells me I should link to something funny to lighten the mood. Here’s a story about a world-famous comedian who will be touring America, town-hall style, to raise awareness about sexual assault. [NPR]

* Join David Lat for a happy hour — and Supreme Court talk — in Minneapolis on Monday. [Federalist Society Events]

* I was on the Brian Lehrer Show again, this time with Kai Wright, and I broke down like seven Supreme Court cases in half an hour, including basically wetting myself when they let me lead with REAL PROPERTY in the form of the Murr v. Wisconsin decision. [Brian Lehrer Show]

* Time to check in with the Alt-Right. Breitbart has an explosive report claiming that Trump officials are quietly instructing schools to call boys and girls the pronouns of their choice. “Education Officials Quietly Push Transgender Ideology Onto Schools.” It’s their second most commented on story, behind a Nancy Pelosi hit job. “The deplorables didn’t vote for this LGBTQLMFAO nonsense. Trump wasn’t elected to continue ovomits LGBTQLMFAO PCBS legacy, Trump was elected to End it.” Calling schoolchildren something that makes them feel comfortable and accepted = “Ovomits LGBTQLMFAO PCBS legacy.” I will never give in to these people, and I don’t care how many pollsters, spinsters, or allies tell me I have to in order to “win”. [Breitbart]

* Senate Republicans take another step forward on repealing the Affordable Care Act aka Obamacare. [MedCity News]

* Shocker: President Donald Trump has no “tapes” of his conversations with James Comey. [Talking Points Memo]

* Our own Elie Mystal breaks down this morning’s Supreme Court decisions, in conversation with Brian Lehrer of WNYC. [WNYC]

* And if you want to read the SCOTUS rulings for yourself, Howard Bashman has links to all of them. [How Appealing]

* Professor Ilya Somin explains how zoning and other land use controls exacerbate the affordable housing crisis. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Professor Richard Re argues that Bivens isn’t dead — at least not yet. [PrawfsBlawg]

* A great profile of a great rainmaker: Bill Carmody of Susman Godfrey. [Lawdragon]

* A Thomson Reuters tool that takes torture out of timekeeping. [LawSites]

* “Trump’s Most Lasting Legacy? America’s courts.” [The Atlantic via How Appealing]

* Speaking of the Supreme Court, which justice is most frequently first out of the gate when it comes to questioning at oral argument? Adam Feldman runs the numbers. [Empirical SCOTUS]

* Floyd Abrams, celebrated First Amendment lawyer and author (affiliate link), laments the sad state of freedom of speech on college campuses today. [Concurring Opinions]

* Well, this is interesting: DOJ Pride, the Justice Department’s group for LGBT employees, will honor Gavin Grimm this year, as Chris Geidner reports. [BuzzFeed]

* Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who’s not exactly a Donald Trump fan, thinks the Donald has a better than even chance of winning reelection in 2020. [Instapundit]

* And he’s not alone, as Ann Althouse’s round-up of reactions to Jon Ossoff’s failed congressional run suggests. [Althouse]

* Justice Thomas wants the Court to reconsider qualified immunity. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Stephen Colbert roasts Donald Trump’s new lawyer. [Huffington Post]

* Get your damn story straight already. [Slate]

* This is just a lawsuit waiting to happen. [Lowering the Bar]

* A deep look at the gerrymandering case, with Professor Rick Hasen. [Bloomberg Law Radio]

* Rachel’s choice. [Salon]

* Dealing with debt. [Law and More]

* I’m bringing up the Carrie Fisher story just to say that it would have been nice if people called for this kind of respect in the face of drug use after Whitney Houston died. [Variety] * This is a very good breakdown of what’s at stake when the Supreme Court looks at partisan gerrymandering […]

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* Cop found not guilty for killing Philando Castile because it’s simply not illegal for cops to kill black men. Maybe this will just sag, like a heavy load. Or maybe explode. [NPR]

* Professor Orin Kerr thinks that self-driving cars will change police strategies. Maybe, but cops will still find a way to murder unarmed black men for automated “menacing” driving or something. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Hero Pop shows these men of will what will really is. And Trumpsters are “heartbroken.”

https://twitter.com/JackPosobiec/status/875592455365599234

* David Lat was on The Takeaway today to talk about the Avengers-level team of witch hunters Robert Mueller has assembled. [The Takeaway]

* Dreamers can stay, their parents must go. This passes for a “victory” in these times. [ABA Journal]

* There’s a scene in Star Trek 3 where Captain Kirk asks Klingon Christopher Lloyd to beam up teenage Spock. The Klingon says no, Kirk asks why, and Lloyd says, “Because you wish it!” Trump’s Cuba reversal, and general political strategy, seems to follow the same logic as Klingon Christopher Lloyd. If Captain Obama wished it, the Trump does not do it. [New York Times]

* Breitbart is covering and promoting a protest in response to the Congressional shooting. A protest of — I’m not making this up — a protest of CNN. Guns don’t kill people, fact-based journalism kills people. [Breitbart]

* CNN is suing to get a hold of Comey’s Trump memos. [CNN]

* Exactly whose ass is Sessions covering? [Slate]

* Gunning for Mueller. [Huffington Post]

* Jeh Johnson is the latest attorney offering public testimony in the Russia probe. [Politico]

* Intense confrontation on the courthouse steps at the Cosby trial. [Jezebel]

* Trump is being sued a bunch over emoluments — here’s what it all means. [Law Newz]

* The role of Trump’s anger in the Russia investigation. [Law and More]

* Has the legal scholarship bubble burst? [TaxProf Blog]