Nude Dancing

An Update on Aquagirl: Things Are Going Swimmingly

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aquagirl cleary gottlieb summer associate Above the Law aquagirl.JPGYesterday we told you the tale of Aquagirl — the Clearly Goatlips Cleary Gottlieb summer associate who stripped down to her underwear and dove into the Hudson River. At a summer associate event. At night. At Chelsea Piers. Seriously.
In the comments, some of you updated us on Aquagirl’s fate. Now we’re happy to bring you this very detailed report:

I worked with [Aquagirl] at Arnold & Porter this summer. On our first day as summers, we were taken to lunch at a nearby restaurant. We were seated at round tables, with at least one partner and one associate at every table. During the lunch, one of the partners asked each of the summers to tell her something funny that had happened to us while we were working at a previous job.

After a few people told their silly, harmless stories, [Aquagirl] was up. She announced to all of us that she was the girl at Cleary that everyone had talked about last summer. She said she hoped no one would hold it against her, and that she could have a fresh start.

Um, talk about uncomfortable situation? I mean, what do you say to that?

What do you say to that? How about “You go, girl!” In a single evening, Aquagirl transformed herself from some random summer associate into a mini-celebrity of the legal profession. And instead of trying to conceal her scandalousness, she OWNED it. Magnificent!!!
One of yesterday’s commenters stated that Arnold & Porter “didn’t realize her Hudson-jumping proclivities.” But our correspondent begs to differ:

[T]he people who interviewed her at Arnold & Porter DID know about what happened to [Aquagirl] at Cleary, and decided to hire her anyway. (Although summer gossip was that she wasn’t allowed to participate in alcohol-related afterhours activities; it may very well be that she did not attend events because she was at bar review class.)

I was told that all the summers at A&P got an offer to come back, but she hasn’t responded to our email chain about her plans for next year (she’s clerking now).

Anyway, we’re glad to hear that everything worked out for Aquagirl. Fitzgerald — F. Scott, not Patrick J. — famously observed that “there are no second acts in American lives.” But, based on Aquagirl’s post-scandal success — an offer from Arnold & Porter, a prestigious federal appellate court clerkship — it seems there ARE second acts in American law.
Earlier: The Cautionary Tale of Aquagirl

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Scuttlebutt Central: Legal Gossip Blogs

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no swimming sign no diving Aquagirl Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgIf you haven’t already done so, we recommend that you read this article (and not just ’cause we’re featured in it). It’s entitled Scuttlebutt Central, by Stephanie Francis Ward, and it’s from the November 2006 issue of the ABA Journal.
The piece is a fun and interesting read; check it out for yourself. We’ll just comment on one passage that caught our eye:

A Washington, D.C., corporate associate who asked to remain anonymous admits to reading legal gossip blogs daily — a habit he says isn’t unusual among his peers.

“There’s an allure of some of these stories — like the summer associate in New York who took off her clothes and jumped into the Hudson River — so there’s sort of a universal appeal,” he says.

Allow us to supplement the record. According to various reports, the summer associate in question was at the venerable firm of Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton. The incident took place at a charity benefit held at the Chelsea Piers sports and entertainment complex. It turned out to be a fairly big deal because the SA had to be fished out of the river (either by the Coast Guard or an NYPD police boat).
We’re not sure if she ended up getting an offer. But given what a summer associate has to do NOT to get an offer — e.g., first- or second-degree murder (manslaughter, no big deal) — we wouldn’t be surprised if she did.
More juicy details here and here.
Scuttlebutt Central: Legal gossip blogs appeal to a nation of associates hungry for the local scoop [ABA Journal]
Summer Stories [What's Up With Wake Law?]
Summer Associates [CU bLAWg]

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Fashion Victims Unit: The Canadian Supreme Court

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canada canadian flag.gifWe’ve been on a bit of a Canada kick here at ATL. What can we say, those Canadians are teh funny.
Check out this story (robe swish: Paul Horwitz of PrawfsBlawg):

Some [Canadian] Supreme Court judges seek relief from work stress in the comfort of their families. Others love nothing more than to curl up with a good book. And could it be, for at least one of them, a nude romp on the high seas was just the ticket?

The anonymous judge’s alleged unconventional vacation choice — a nude cruise — came to light in a San Francisco Chronicle travel article in the spring. It quoted a co-owner of the Bare Necessities cruise line, Nancy Tiemann, as saying that its clientele include: “actors, bus drivers, Fortune 500 CEOs, soccer moms, doctors, teachers, priests and at least one Canadian Supreme Court justice.” * * * * *

The story came to the attention of Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin, who swiftly launched an investigation into which, if any, of her eight colleagues was the alleged unrobed sailor.

Can Canadian judges, like our federal judges, be impeached for violating the norms of “good behavior”? Because we agree with Ann Althouse: “[A] naked cruise? It’s just so perfectly awful.”
Alas, the Chief Justice’s investigation ended inconclusively:

Speaking to an audience at the University of Toronto law school last week, [Justice Marshall] Rothstein read a tongue-in-cheek memo which Chief Justice McLachlin circulated to her Supreme Court colleagues on May 12.

Entitled “Re. Nude Cruising,” the memo said: “I made inquiries into the identity of the judge, but was rebuffed [by the article writer] on a claim of journalistic privilege. . . . All this is to say, that our secret is safe.”

Judge Rothstein assured his audience that, having been appointed only in March, he cannot be considered a serious suspect in the nude-cruise inquiry.

If the justice who likes to vacation in the buff is ever discovered, we can’t really blame him or her for wanting to go au naturel. Here’s what Canadian justices look like in their ceremonial robes (also via PrawfsBlawg):
canadian supreme court canada supreme court merry christmas.jpg
In case you’re wondering, the robes are “of bright scarlet, trimmed with Canadian white mink.”
Your Honors: Eager to supplement your judicial incomes? The West Edmonton Mall is still interviewing Santa Claus candidates. And the Salvation Army is looking for sidewalk fundraisers right now. Christmas is less than two months away!
Underneath Their Robes? The Justices of the Supreme Court of Canada [PrawfsBlawg]
Which Supreme Court Justice went on a nude cruise? [Althouse]
Did Supreme Court judge throw away briefs? [Toronto Globe and Mail]
Finally, the Naked Truth Aboot Nude Cruises [San Francisco Chronicle via How Appealing]
Aboot the Court [Supreme Court of Canada]
Earlier: Law and Order: Fashion Victims Unit
Prior ATL coverage of Canada (scroll down)

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.30.06

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* The German court is right — long distance relationships are a bitch. [Reuters]
* Blonde Justice shares her views of the new legal drama Shark. James Woods is pretty universally acknowledged as a horndog / lucky bastard, but despite his stellar Dirty Old Man credentials, how can we watch him in anything anymore without thinking about his latest and creepy-even-for-him escapade? [Blonde Justice]
* I think it essentially boils down to this: Surfing for porn will get you into trouble, and keep that Social Security number safe. [Legal Theory Blog]
* She did this to deter a 14-year-old boy from playing basketball outside? And he told his parents to get her to stop? I am so confused. [Associated Press via Feminist Law Professors]

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Stripper’s Remorse: That Cat Is Way Out of the Bag

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breasts cleavage angelina jolie jennifer aniston topless nude breasts.jpgLook, if you’re going to be an exhibitionist, you need to OWN THAT S**T. No regrets; no looking back. And absolutely no lawsuits:

Once again, second thoughts prove unavailing after modesty is cast to the winds:

“A magazine that published a photograph of a woman baring her breasts at a pig roast for motorcycle enthusiasts did not intrude on her privacy, a federal judge has ruled. Tonya Barnhart sued Paisano Publications LLC, publisher of Easyriders magazine, after it ran the picture of her in its March 2005 issue, claiming unreasonable intrusion, false light invasion of privacy and appropriation of her likeness.”

But U.S. District Judge J. Frederick Motz of Maryland* ruled against Barnhart on summary judgment. Her behavior “cannot reasonably be said to have constituted a private act,” Motz wrote. “She exposed herself at an outdoor fundraising event open to any members of the public who purchased a ticket.”

Yes, “Tonya” with an “o.” Are you honestly surprised?
Judge Motz rejected Barnhart’s other claims as well:

Her claim that the image presented her in a false light also failed because she never claimed that the picture distorted “her true appearance,” but only that it created the impression she was the sort of person who would consent to posing topless for a magazine, Motz ruled.

Finally, Motz held that Barnhart’s claim for appropriation of her likeness failed because her image has no commercial value.**

No commercial value? That’s way harsh, Tai. Guess they’re real, but not so spectacular.**
* Judge Motz, by the way, is married to Fourth Circuit Judge Diana Motz. Overheard at the Motz house: “Honey, please take out the trash. Don’t make me mandamus you.”
** Yeah, we know: “Maryland courts have held that someone whose picture is taken in a public place at a newsworthy event does not have an appropriation claim.”
So Judge Motz’s ruling does not reflect in any way upon the size or quality of Barnhart’s breasts. And there was no in camera examination of the plaintiff.
Another flasher’s-remorse case loses [Overlawyered]
Judge: Photo of woman baring her breasts didn’t violate privacy [Associated Press

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ATL Week in Review: October 15, 2006

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yale law school.jpg* Our Law School Dean hotties contest is now underway. Vote on the women here, the men here, and the alternate male candidates here.
* Do you know anyone who is currently clerking for Justice Alito? If so, we’d like to hear from you.
* If you’re in law for the money, we recommend Korean transactional practice, at a big firm. You’ll probably make more than you would as a solo practioner or small firm lawyer.
* If money is your top priority, then don’t bother with the law; go work for Goldman Sachs . Partners there take home an average of $7 million a year. And still find time to beat up on small businessmen.
* ATL readers: Not as rich as Goldman Sachs partners. But pretty damn smart.
* Creative ways to get yourself criminally charged: (1) walk around your office buck naked; or (2) walk out of a restaurant without paying (after concluding that your seafood pasta dish was short on the seafood).
* But protesting while topless, that’s okay.
* Lori Alvino and Matthew McGill: We are not worthy. The happy couple tied the knot earlier this month. Their wedding guests included two sitting Supreme Court justices, the chief judge of the D.C. Circuit, and two SCOTUS short-listers. (Yes, we’ve categorized this under Nauseating Things.)
* Some dispatches from the New Yorker Festival: Justice Breyer, with Jeffrey Toobin; legendary criminal defense lawyer Gerald Shargel, along with other experts on the Mafia; and some guy named Jon Stewart.
* There’s a new kid on the ATL block: Meet Stella Q. Welcome, Stella!

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The First Amendment Is a Beautiful Thing

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lady godiva naked horseback.jpgConventional wisdom holds that civil rights and civil liberties “don’t poll well.” Court decisions vindicating them are often wildly unpopular with the public.
We suspect, however, that this ruling by a Florida appeals court may be enthusiastically received:

A woman who was arrested when she exposed her breasts, to protest laws that bar women from publicly going bare breasted, can demonstrate topless as part of a legitimate political protest, an appeals court has ruled.

The 7th Judicial Circuit Court of Appeals on Oct. 5 upheld a Volusia County judge’s opinion that Elizabeth Book could protest while topless on the city’s Main Street Bridge.

Now prosecutor Scott Blauvelt just needs to figure out what he was “protesting” while walking around his office in the buff.
Fla. Court Upholds Topless Protest [Associated Press via How Appealing]
Earlier: Scott Blauvelt Needs a New Office Chair
The Case of the Naked Prosecutor, and A Brief Note on Owning It
If We Ever Get Arrested, Our One Phone Call Will Be to Orin Kerr

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If We Ever Get Arrested, Our One Phone Call Will Be to Orin Kerr

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naked man with keyboard.JPGWe’ve blogged a fair amount about Scott Blauvelt, the Ohio prosecutor charged with public indecency for walking around his office in the nude. His lawyer, Michael Gmoser, seems to be laying the groundwork for an insanity defense. In a statement issued yesterday, Gmoser said that his client was seriously injured in a 2005 car accident, suffers from mental illness, and is “an American with a disability.”*
But Orin Kerr, blogger and criminal law professor extraordinaire, offers a more persuasive defense:

Was Blauvelt’s conduct actually a crime? Let’s assume Blauvelt was conscious and not having some sort of seizure that might raise voluntary act or mens rea issues. Here’s what I gather is the relevant text of the Ohio public indency statute, R.C. § 2907.09(a):

No person shall recklessly do any of the following, under circumstances in which the person’s conduct is likely to be viewed by and affront others who are in the person’s physical proximity and who are not members of the person’s household . . . Expose his or her private parts.

There are some interesting ambiguities in the statute, but it seems to me that the key question is whether Blauvelt was naked “under circumstances in which the person’s conduct is likely to be viewed by and affront others who are in the person’s physical proximity.”

We don’t know a lot of the facts here, but based on the story it doesn’t seem like this element has been satisfied. As best we know, the only person who saw Blauvelt was the security guard, who saw him at night via a remote security camera. If the courthouse was closed and no one else was expected to be physically nearby, I would think that the statute probably wasn’t violated.

Good stuff. Professor Kerr is one academic who actually knows his way around the real world of law. (This should come as no surprise. Before joining the ranks of the Elect, by clerking for Justice Kennedy, he was an Honors Program trial attorney in the Justice Department’s Computer Crime and Intellectual Property section.)
We have offered some irreverent commentary on Scott Blauvelt’s case. But for the record, we are all in favor of working in the buff. Isn’t that one of the best aspects of working from home?
* Query: Might it be a “reasonable accommodation” under the ADA to let Blauvelt walk around naked?
The Strange Case of the Naked Prosecutor [Volokh Conspiracy]
Earlier: The Case of the Naked Prosecutor, and A Brief Note on Owning It
Scott Blauvelt Needs a New Office Chair

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The Case of the Naked Prosecutor, and A Brief Note on Owning It

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scott blauvelt 2.jpgEarlier today — at 7:30 this morning, actually — we wrote about Scott Blauvelt, the Ohio prosecutor who faces criminal charges of public indecency “for walking around the Government Services Center after business hours without clothing.” Now we learn, via CNN, the explanation he’s offering for his conduct:

Blauvelt’s lawyer, Michael Gmoser, said in a statement Tuesday that his client was seriously injured in a 2005 car accident, suffers from mental illness and is on medication for seizures.

“Scott Blauvelt is an American with a disability,” he said.

Now, we are the last people to take mental illness lightly. We know all too well the havoc it can wreak in people’s lives. But Gmoser’s statement did put us in mind of this post by DealBreaker’s Bess Levin, to which we commend you. Here’s an excerpt:

In light of the rampant levels of douchebaggery (in practice and in speech) these days, we’ve got something to say: it matters not whether you are of the douche bag variety or not, only that you f***ing man-up and OWN your female cleansing product status. Mark Foley: a douche bag, yes, but doubly a douche bag because he doesn’t own it. So you IM underage pages asking them if they’re made “horny” by your presence–who cares?! You like them young and boyish and all we have to say about that is, more power to ya, sister!

But the fact that you can’t just go, “Hey, Congress, I like them young and boyish and I don’t think I have to explain myself to anyone, let alone you people,” and insist on blaming your alcoholism, menstrual cycle, etc. really gets our goat; gets us angry, if you will. So much so that we’ve been popping blood vessels all afternoon thinking about how much we want to do something about it which means we’ll probably try and drink away our rage the second we get out of the DealBreaker Janitorial Closet tonight, pass out in a gutter and render ourselves unable to do anything about it; all your fault, for not owning it.

Good stuff. Read the rest of it here.
Another person who refuses to “own it”: former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey, who refused to acknowledge his own corruption, demonstrated by his giving a sensitive government security job to his paramour. Jim McGreevey instead tried to cloud the issues by declaring himself to be “a gay American.” Indeed, Gmoser’s statement — that his client “is an American with a disability” — appears to be modeled after the McGreevey declaration.
Authorities: Naked Prosecutor Caught on Camera [CNN]
Planespotting: Owning It [DealBreaker]

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Scott Blauvelt Needs a New Office Chair

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When you’re spending long hours at work, you want to be as comfortable as possible. Late at night or on weekends, we used to pad about our law firm office in socks. Eventually we brought in a pair of white fuzzy slippers, courtesy of the Ritz-Carlton in Chicago, for this purpose.*
But this may be taking things too far:

A top law-enforcement official in Hamilton, City Prosecutor Scott Blauvelt, is accused of “walking around the Government Services Center after business hours without clothing,” the Butler County Sheriff’s Office says.

Blauvelt, 35, who was charged with two counts of public indecency, was booked into the county jail and then released. He awaits a hearing in Hamilton Municipal Court, where Blauvelt usually works, said Sheriff’s Maj. Anthony Dwyer.

Calling the situation “an odd occurrence,” Dwyer said investigators don’t know what motivated Blauvelt to disrobe. He was alone at the time.

Right now you’re wondering exactly what we we were wondering: What does this guy look like? Would we WANT to see him strolling around buck naked?
As it is for pretty much every question within the law, the answer is: It depends.
scott blauvelt naked nude.jpg
The determination turns on which of these photographs is more accurate. In the picture on the left, Blauvelt looks kinda cute. In the photo on the right, less so.
(Blauvelt’s conduct was discovered by a security guard monitoring video footage. If by some miracle we can get our hands on this, we will happily upload it to YouTube.)
* We stayed at the Ritz-Carlton Chicago back in the days before the Peninsula opened. So don’t fault us for inadequate knowledge of hotels.
Prosecutor Naked at Work [Cincinnati Enquirer via How Appealing]

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