If you’re going to have a little afternoon delight with a stripper, why not head to the local cemetery? We applaud South Carolina deputy assistant attorney general and former legislator Roland Corning for really getting into the Halloween spirit this week by getting his jollies at the graveyard.

Unfortunately, his Monday lunch treat got tricky when a police officer happened by. From CBS News:

Deputy assistant attorney general Roland Corning said he was on his lunch break when a police officer found him with a stripper, a Viagra pill, and sex toys in his sports utility vehicle, according to Corning’s boss.

Let’s learn a bit more about the stripper, shall we?

Chris Rock said that the primary job of a father was to keep his daughter off of the stripper pole. The father of ReAnna M. Hedrick must be very sad today. Not only did his daughter stray onto the pole, she managed to injure herself while dancing. The Arizona Republic reports:

An ill-fated stint as an amateur pole dancer left a woman bleeding at an East Mesa sports bar and the owners of a Famous Sam’s facing a lawsuit.

While attending a “Ladies Night” on Sept. 3, 2008, ReAnna M. Hedrick of Mesa watched other women take a spin around a dance pole that had been installed for the event and decided to give it a whirl.

The last thing Hedrick, 28, expected was that the pole would collapse, causing her to crash to the floor, according to a lawsuit filed on Oct. 16 in Maricopa County Superior Court.

One would think that Hedrick would be so ashamed that she wouldn’t want to memorialize her erotic failure in a lawsuit. But she hurt her finger, and now she needs money from the club. Boy, I hope she didn’t break a nail.

Details after the jump.

By day, Jarriette Richie was a legal secretary. By night, she was one of the small business entrepreneurs who are so important to the vitality of the American economy. Not only that, Richie’s business provided services to a critically underserved community. Richie was the proprietor of Show ‘N Tell Entertainment — which arranged erotic male dancers for ladies exclusively.

But you know how difficult it is to get credit in this economy. And Richie needed to fly dancers and guests down to Puerto Rico for an “event.” So, she had to improvise.

The Washington Post picks up the narrative, after the jump.

Summer associates have landed at offices across the nation. They’re working harder this year, even if some of the work is fake, and they’re eating out less often. But the Biglaw recruits are still having fun — sometimes too much fun.

We’ve been asking you about the big events for this year’s summers — concerts, movie previews, booze cruises, etc. Look out for contest finalists soon!

Cadwalader may have already established itself as a front runner in the competition. Last week, the firm took its summers to see a Mets game. Afterwards, some of the attorneys and summers went from Shea to shady. [FN1] From a knowledgeable source:

After the game, some of the male associates took some of the male summers out for some “after-event” bonding. The problem with this bonding is that it was a trip to the strip club. I’m not sure if the firm knew about the afterparty event or if it was sanctioned by or expensed to the firm, but this certainly seems to send a message of exclusion to women; or at least — even if any female summers attended (which none did) — that the firm not only tolerated but supported the objectification / degradation of women that occurs at these venues.

The firm was aware of the outing, but it doesn’t support these Cadwalader cads. The official response, after the jump.

This summer associate (or “vacation schemer”) story comes to us from across the pond. An attorney in the London office of Shearman & Sterling had an interesting take on appropriate summer associate events.

Legal Week reports that a bunch of Shearman partners and attorneys took the “trainees” out to the bars one Friday last month. As the night wound down, one of the attorneys decided to take a female summer to The Windmill (NSFW). Not a wise decision:

Shearman & Sterling has dismissed an associate in its London office after a vacation scheme student made a formal complaint about his behaviour during a night out.

The student, who has subsequently accepted a training contract position with another firm, lodged a formal complaint to Shearman alleging that she was taken to Soho strip club The Windmill by the associate last month.

An internal investigation at Shearman has resulted in the associate in question being dismissed for bringing the firm into disrepute.

The attorney in question should have done more to defend himself. He could have cast this as a highly reputable outing… or at least a little bit reputable. The Windmill is not just any old strip club; it’s an historic strip club. From its (NSFW) website:

Great Windmill Street in London’s Soho… where Laura Henderson was to create her world famous theatre staging the first nude stage shows in London in 1931….

[A] host of great British comedians began their careers at the Windmill. Among them were Peter Sellers….

[T]he story of Mrs. Henderson has been made into a hugely successful film starring dame Judi Dench, nominated for Hollywood’s presige’s [sic] Oscar.”

We’d think that mentioning the names ‘Peter Sellers’ and ‘dame Judi Dench’ in England would lead to all being forgiven.

Perhaps it would have been wiser to take a male summer, who could have better appreciated the “historic nature” of the club. But hey, you never know. Some female summer associates, far from having a problem with strip clubs, actually enjoy performing at them.

Shearman sacks associate after student strip club complaint [Legal Week]

Earlier: Summer Associate of the Day: Girl Gone Wild

Whatever happened to asking your paralegal to make some binders? Or asking your secretary for some photocopying, or to fill out your expense report? When it comes to support staff, why are lawyers getting so demanding all of a sudden?

First this. Now this, via the Tampa Tribune:

A former legal assistant in Pinellas-Pasco Public Defender Bob Dillinger’s office has filed a federal lawsuit against him, alleging she was retaliated against after complaining that male lawyers had made sexually degrading remarks to her.

Jessica A. Schwartz filed the lawsuit Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Tampa….

[Schwartz’s boss Alan] Bulnes and another lawyer, Brett Berger, [allegedly] had a conversation with Schwartz in which they suggested she pole dance in her office like a stripper, the lawsuit states.

We bet those colored post-it flags would make great pasties.

Ex-Legal Assistant Sues Pinellas-Pasco Public Defender [Tampa Tribune]

Earlier: Paralegal: Will Collate, Will Not Fellate

[Ed. note: This post is by ARNIE BECKER, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the “reality blogging” competition that will determine ATL’s next editor. It is marked with Arnie Becker’s avatar (at right).]

Fremont County judge Timothy O’Grady has been called on to determine the legal difference, in Iowa, between a strip club and a performing arts center. In Iowa strip clubs are illegal, however, there is a loophole which exempts performing art centers, theaters and concert halls from some state obscenity laws — including nude dancing.

As reported by the Associated Press:

The case pending before a Fremont County judge effects only one business in Hamburg, but if he agrees with the prosecutor, it could eventually threaten the legal standing of nude dancing clubs across the state.

Clarence Judy, owner of the establishment Shotgun Geniez Plaza “Hamburg Theater for the Performing Arts” (WARNING, art aside, the site is NFWS), is facing three charges of public indecent exposure involving a minor.

The facts of the case, as reported in the Omaha World-Herald, are as follows:

The charges were brought in connection with a July 21, 2007, incident. A 17-year-old Hamburg girl, the niece of Fremont County Sheriff Steve MacDonald, danced nude onstage at the club.

It was a typical summer night, the Hamburg High School graduate testified Thursday. She and four girlfriends were drinking at a friend’s house when they decided to meet up with three boys at Shotgun Geniez. She had already had six drinks when she got there. As the group of eight walked in, two of them proffered their driver’s licenses, but Judy, who was working the door, did not ask for the identification of the underage girl, several people testified Thursday.

Once inside, the girl said she drank another beer - given to her by a “stripper” - and then lay down on the stage with a dollar in her bra. The dancer pulled the girl’s shirt and her bra up, exposing her breasts, before taking the dollar.

Later, a dancer pulled the girl onstage, where she helped her disrobe. She danced to one song while fully nude.

She put her clothes back on and drank another beer given to her by a dancer, she said. Later, she took the stage and danced nude again.

Judy has argued that his establishment is not a strip club because it has posters and prints on the wall, offers its patrons sketch pads, and only charges for parking or entry onto the property.

Judge O’Grady is expected to make his ruling on the “sketch pad defense” sometime this week.

Now would probably be a good time for Mr. Judy to take his establishment’s listing off of the Iowa Strip Clubs website (WARNING again, NFWS). Probably just an oversite - like letting a 17 year old inebriated girl walk into his “art center” on a typical summer night.

In Flint, Michigan, they’ve launched a crackdown (hehe) on low-slung trousers. For an informative graphic and commentary, see here.

Someone please notify this guy. Thanks.

Best Newspaper Graphic Ever! [Supreme Dicta]

We don’t usually get lots of “news from Israel” tips, but we have this week. Okay, we received two links to stories from Israel, but that seems like a lot compared to the usual zero.

The first story speaks to the dangers of Facebook. Sweet, seductive Facebook, you get us into trouble by making us want to constantly update our status message, addicting us to Scrabulous, and tempting us to post inappropriate photos that compromise national security:

A soldier from the elite Intelligence Corps unit “8200” was sentenced to 19 days in prison for uploading photos taken on his base without approval to the popular social networking site Facebook.

This is the first time the Israel Defense Forces has sentenced a soldier to military jail for an offense of this sort.

Maybe it’s time to confiscate cameras from military personnel. Photos seem to get these folks into trouble. E.g., Abu Ghraib.

On to the second story. Beyond the Israeli link, there’s really nothing in common. So let’s just move on to the nudity.

Our tipster sums this story up well:

I’m not sure if you are aware of the Passover legal hubbub that occurred in Israel earlier this month, but it caused quite a stir among all Israelis and many American Jews. There was a long-standing ban against selling non-kosher-for-Passover food (“hametz,” or leavened bread) on Passover in public places, which meant all supermarkets and restaurants. A couple weeks ago, the Israeli Supreme Court, which in my opinion is way too activist for its own good, did away with the law completely by taking away its only application: it ruled that supermarkets and restaurants are not public places.

All this is only mildly newsworthy to the general public, not necessarily ATL material.

But yesterday, some (arguably) legally savvy protester pulled a brilliant and hilarious move to get the attention of the courts. He stripped naked in a supermarket (wearing only a strategically placed sock) and called the police on himself and demanded they arrest him for indecent exposure. He wants this to go to court and he already has his argument: according to the Israeli court, supermarkets are not public places.

Happy Passover! Enjoy the matzah!

IDF soldier jailed for posting sensitive photos on Facebook [Haaretz]
Man strips in protest of bread sale during Passover [YnetNews]
Israeli Orthodox Jews angered over Passover ruling [Reuters]

Remember how victims of alleged sexual harassment by Bill Clinton claimed that inspection of the Article II member would confirm the truth of their claims, due to the presidential penis’s distinctive appearance? We were reminded of those entertaining days, when the political was just so darn personal, by this story:

Graphic photographs of two defendants will be allowed as evidence in a rape trial Wednesday. The defense team argued to prevent evidence that includes photographs of their clients’ anatomies out of the courtroom. Defense attorney Robert Jenkins said his client and another man might have to expose themselves during trial.

“They say it helps the case because, allegedly, one perp is circumcised and one not circumcised,” Jenkins said.

If the foreskin has been slit, you must acquit.

Update: A reader submitted this alternative, by email: “If he had no bris, you must dismiss.” (But we don’t know if the defendants are Jewish.)

Court To Scrutinize Defendants’ Genitals [WDSU.com]

As Justice Holmes famously wrote in his Lochner dissent, “The Fourteenth Amendment does not enact Mr. Herbert Spencer’s Social Statics.” But does it enact, say, Mr. Alan Flusser’s Dressing the Man?

This doesn’t affect us, since we usually don’t put on pants before 5 p.m. But for those of you who do get dressed and leave home in the morning, check out this story:

Pine Lawn, a mostly black municipality outside St. Louis, is among a growing number of U.S. cities enacting laws that ban low-slung pants.

Critics say the bans amount to government attacks on youthful fashion that some find offensive. And constitutional scholars say they may not be lawful.

“People have a right to express their identity through speech and action,” said Neil Richards, a First Amendment expert at Washington University in St. Louis. “On the other hand, municipalities have a vague power to control the health, safety and welfare of citizens.

Discussion continues, after the jump.

The story of Cordero v. Epstein — the lawsuit filed by an aspiring model against prominent Wall Street financier Jeffrey Epstein, alleging that he took advantage of her when she was underage — gets weirder by the day.

The New York Post reported that the model, Maximilia Cordero, was actually born a man — one Maximillian Cordero, b. 1983. Cordero then sued the Post, filing as an exhibit with the court a birth certificate showing she was born a female. A number of you questioned the document’s authenticity, pointing out various irregularities. And such skepticism made sense: Cordero, despite filing the birth certificate with the court, is not including the Post’s claim that she’s a transsexual in her lawsuit.

But even if it may not be the gravamen of her complaint, Cordero still wants you to know she’s not a tranny. From a statement that William Unroch, her lawyer / roommate / possible ex-boyfriend, sent to the Daily Intelligencer (via Gawker):

Ms. Cordero will be happy to attend a televised nude settlement conference or celebrity charity benefit nude tea party with Rupert Murdoch and Lucifer Carne [a reference to Post reporter Lucy Carne] if the NY Post feels this would clear up the matter. Both Ms Cordero and Mr. Murdoch can appear nude and state their positions on this matter of grave public concern.

Hmm… Time for an ATL field trip?

More insanity, after the jump.

Remember Kyla Ebbert, the comely young woman whose sexy outfit was deemed too revealing for flight by Southwest Airlines? We mentioned her story in passing back in this post (fourth link).

Well, it seems that Ms. Ebbert is back in the news — er, nude. From the AP:

A 23-year-old college student who was told by a Southwest Airlines employee that her outfit was too revealing to fly is wearing even less on Playboy’s Web site….

Kyla Ebbert appears in a series of pictures — some in lingerie, some nude — under the heading, “Legs in the Air.”

“They’re very tastefully done,” Ebbert told The Associated Press on Thursday. “I don’t see anything wrong with the female body.”

Indeed. And we’re big fans of Playboy, which we read strictly for the articles (and the ATL shout-outs).

So what does Kyla Ebbert want to do with her life?

Ebbert worked at a Hooters in San Diego but said she wants to become an attorney, and doesn’t think posing nude should get in the way of her professional aspirations.

“This was beautiful and classy. I don’t see why it would affect a professional position,” she said. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Ebbert is absolutely right — there’s a long and distinguished tradition of law students posing in various states of undress. See here.

So, when’s the application deadline for Miami Law?

Flyer told to change outfit poses nude [AP via Yahoo! News]

On some days, the posts just write themselves. From Blogonaut:

James Michael Shull is no longer a Virginia Judge, thanks to the decision of the Virginia Supreme Court that unanimously upheld his removal from the bench.

Shull’s misconduct on the bench included ordering a woman to pull down her pants in open court during a hearing—ostensibly to view a claimed injury—exposing everything not covered by a pair of g-string panties the woman was wearing.

If she was humiliated, she deserved it. What was she doing in a g-string? Everyone knows that acceptable courtroom attire is a sober black skirt suit — with granny panties underneath.

Schull also decided child custody matters by tossing a coin in the air, initiated ex-parte contact with witnesses outside the presence of the attorneys for either side in a dispute, and was discourteous to litigants.

Independent of making them strip in open court, of course.

Judge Defrocked for Deciding Cases by Coin Toss, Making Woman Pull Pants Down in Court [Blogonaut]

Okay, CLSers, so NYU Law School has surpassed you in the U.S. News rankings. But here’s some consolation: at least your law library is a zone of normalcy (as law libraries go, that is).

Late last year, NYU’s law library was taken over by a mystery smell. And now it has a new problem.

Check it out, after the jump.

Time for a quick update on a past Lawyer of the Day Weekend. From New York Newsday:

A former Legal Aid Society lawyer pleaded guilty Wednesday to illegally using a hidden videocamera to spy on female co-workers as they changed clothes in their offices.

Peter Barta, 32, of Queens, used a camera hidden in a clock to videotape five co-workers in the public defense agency’s Manhattan offices, recording at least one woman with her breasts and buttocks bared….

Barta, 32, pleaded guilty to one count of unlawful surveillance, a felony, in exchange for a conditional discharge. The case will be dismissed and sealed after he completes a year of counseling.

Barta will be automatically disbarred. But clerking doesn’t constitute the practice of law, which is why you don’t need to be admitted to the bar to do it. Maybe Peter Barta can land a clerkship with this fine jurist?

Legal Aid lawyer plead guilty in coworker voyeurism case [New York Newsday]
Voyeur lawyer pleads guilty to oogling co-workers [AP]
Inside the Apartment of a Peeping Tom [Gothamist]
‘PEEP’ LAWYER HAD KINKY TOY TROVE [New York Post]

* Mistrial in case against Muslim organization; retrial likely. [AP; New York Times]

* California wildfires lead lawyers to flee from their homes and offices… [The Recorder via Law.com]

* … and may give rise to insurance battles, too. [CNN]

* Ex-stripper convicted in “Last Seduction” trial. [MSNBC]

* White House accused of doctoring environmental testimony. [MSNBC]

* Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-CA) retracts her expressions of concern over the prosecution of an L.A. councilman. [Washington Briefs]

We understand there are various websites — websites that we won’t mention by name or link to here — in which people seeking hook-ups or other sexual encounters can meet similarly minded individuals. Site visitors typically post pictures or images of certain body parts, in order to entice other visitors into arranging an encounter.

Anyway, by clicking on the box below, you can see a funny photograph that was posted on one such site. We’re inferring that the individual depicted is (1) horny and (2) a law student (maybe even a law review editor).

Please note that this image is NOT completely safe for work. Although it probably won’t set off automated porn filters, since it’s not a link to a pornography site, you do NOT want your co-workers to be around when you access it. Be sure to do so in the privacy of your own office. If you’re in a cubicle, wait until nobody else is around.

Also, please note that this image was sent to us by a reader. We did NOT find it on our own, and we do NOT visit the website from which it was taken. Thank you. [FN1]

[FN1] Yes, we fully expect this to be received with skepticism by the peanut gallery of commenters. That’s okay; serving as a piñata for anonymous commenters is part of our job description.

Update: In response to this comment, yes, the usual rules apply: please don’t identify this individual in the comments (if, for some disturbing reason, you actually recognize him).

As many of you know, we’re guilty of federal judicial snobbery here at ATL. We frequently mock state court judges, whom we regard as “icky,” and contrast their regular misadventures — ethical lapses, brushes with the law, messy personal lives — with the generally upright lives of their counterparts on the federal bench.

But federal judges are people too — people who get themselves into highly embarrassing situations. From Colorado’s 9News.com:

Court documents obtained by 9Wants to Know show Colorado’s top federal judge was too drunk to remember how he spent more than $3,000 at a strip club in two consecutive days. He also used an Internet dating service while he was married.

Judge Edward Nottingham is the chief federal judge in Colorado and he is held to the highest standards of personal and professional conduct.

Umm, yeah, this story is all kinds of awesome. Some of Judge Nottingham’s conduct would make a drunken summer associate blush.

More after the jump.

We push forward with our series on summer associate screw-ups. If you have a tale to tell, please review our submission guidelines, and then email us.

In light of our earlier item about the bocce court at Venable, we thought this story would be apropos:

1. Superhero name: The Magnificent Mooner
2. Special power: Ability to destroy all hope for an offer in a matter of seconds.
3. Summered: Briggs & Morgan, “a few years ago”
4. Claim to fame: “Went lawn bowling (the Midwest equivalent of bocce) with the firm, after being ridiculously quiet all summer. After a day of drinking, culminating in his bowling the winning ball, he decided that the only appropriate reaction was to drop his pants in celebration.”
5. What happened to him: “[A]n offer was not in his future.”

We assume he didn’t file a lawsuit over getting no-offered. But there is precedent for an accused mooner going to court, claiming overreaction to his overexposure.

(The usual rules apply. Please don’t name the Magnificent Mooner or speculate about his identity. Thanks.)

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of summer associates (scroll down)
Lawsuit of the Day: High School Wise Ass Claims He Got a Bum Rap