* Too soon, Daily Princetonian, too soon. And what’s more, you budding SNL-writers are so completely unfunny that you might consider law school instead. Dewey Ballantine would probably hire you. [IvyGate Blog]
* Retiree sick of junk mail claims that (literal) poo-slinging is constitutionally protected. [AP via Forbes]
* If only Jason were just a tad younger, they’d be just another couple of happy, teenage parents. [Sheboygan Press]
* But we’ll always have YouTube. [ValleyWag]
* Want to do more than just blog? Ernie is looking for a freelance legal researcher. Sounds like a great gig if you like that kind of thing. (I obviously don’t, or I wouldn’t be putting this out for all of you to see.) [Ernie the Attorney]
Old People
- Asians, Blogging, Crime, Dewey Ballantine, Education / Schools, Free Speech, Job Searches, Kids, Non-Sequiturs, Old People, Politics, Racism, Rank Stupidity, Romance and Dating, Sex
Non-Sequiturs: 1.19.07
By Stella Q- Fashion, Gerald Ford, Jan Crawford Greenburg, John Paul Stevens, Media and Journalism, Old People, SCOTUS, Supreme Court
Justice John Paul Stevens: And He’s Telling You He’s Not Going
By David Lat
Well, not in so many words. But in his interview last night with Jan Crawford Greenburg of ABC News — his first television appearance network television interview ever — Justice John Paul Stevens seemed healthy, lucid, and far from death’s door.
(Our apologies to the ConfirmThem crew. We hate to be the bearers of bad news.)
We did catch the interview last night. Twice, actually — we watched the excerpt on World News Tonight, then the full version on Nightline. You can access a video clip of an abridged version by clicking here.
Our thoughts on the interview:
1. Justice Stevens gets style points for the turquoise paisley bowtie. Paisley is a fashion cliche here in D.C.; but JPS wears it in a “I don’t care what you think” sort of way, which is great.
2. Negative style points for the brown plastic eyeglasses. Justice Stevens, you can do better. We know the Chief is always bitching about how little you guys get paid. But your most recent financial disclosure forms reveal that you’re a millionaire. You can afford wire-framed glasses.
3. Throughout the interview, Justice Stevens is articulate and alert. Yes, his head is permanently stuck in a slight rightward tilt. But that’s par for the course for old people. (JPS is 86 years old, turning 87 on April 20 of this year.)
4. Jan Crawford Greenburg is still a hottie. The reddish brown hair — is that its natural color? — is simply faboo. (Click here, then scroll down, for our exclusive photos of her.)
5. Justice Stevens reminisces about his late friend, President Gerald R. Ford, who appointed him to the Supreme Court. JPS describes Ford as “a fine lawyer” and ” the kind of person I would really like to have as a friend, because you like him right away.”
6. Greenburg asks whether President Ford was surprised by how Justice Stevens turned out as a SCOTUS jurist. Ford was a Republican, and JPS has turned out to be one of the Court’s most liberal members.
Justice Stevens: Ford may have been surprised by “some of my decisions.” But “over the years, I gather he was not unhappy with the results on the whole.”
7. Greenburg questions JPS further about his ideology and jurisprudence. She notes that President Ford’s attorney general, Edward Levi, described Justice Stevens as “a moderative conservative.” She asks the justice: How do you see yourself today?
Justice Stevens says that he sees himself as a “moderate conservative.” He adds: “I don’t think I’ve really changed. I think there has been a lot of change on the Court.”
8. The coup de grâce: near the end of the interview, Justice Stevens says: “I see myself as a conservative, to tell you the truth.”
Okay, maybe the old man is losing it — just a little bit.
Update: Orin Kerr’s thoughts on point #8 appear here. Can Justice Stevens perhaps consider himself a “judicial conservative” (even if he’s not a political conservative)?
Justice John Paul Stevens: The Silent Justice [ABC News (video)]
Justice Appointed By Ford Remembers the Late President [ABC News]
Is Justice Stevens a Judicial Conservative? [Volokh Conspiracy]
From a recent NYT piece about mandatory retirement policies at law firms:
Unlike corporate America, which, for the most part, dropped mandatory retirement ages decades ago, many big law firm partnerships are keeping up the practice of pushing out older lawyers to make room for new blood.
In a survey last year of 46 law firms with 100 or more lawyers, about 57 percent of them reported a mandatory retirement age, ranging from 65 to 72….
The article focuses on A. Paul Victor, the former Weil Gotshal antitrust partner who recently moved to Dewey Ballantine, after hitting Weil’s mandatory retirement age of 68.
The story explores the pros and cons of having a mandatory retirement age — a legitimate and interesting policy question. But our primary reaction is summed up this by these commenters at the WSJ Law Blog:
“[I]f you’re pushing 70 and you really want to trudge in to the office every day there may be something wrong with you. Mr. Victor and others, really – spend some time living life while you still can.”
“By 65, these guys have made plenty of money and should find something else to do — legal or otherwise — to keep them busy. Go teach or provide pro bono services or get reacquainted with your family. Leave some room so that the young bucks can have their day in the sun, too.”
One obvious rebuttal: many federal judges remain on the bench well into their old age. But which way does that cut? We can think of a number of judges who probably should have retired years ago.
Happy Birthday. Vacate Your Office. [New York Times]
Forcing Aging Partners to Retire: Fair or Foul? [WSJ Law Blog]
We think online advertising is fantastic. Of course, we’re biased; it’s how we pay the bills around here. For more details about how to advertise on Above the Law — which has a large, demographically desirable, and highly targeted readership — click here.
But all advertising, whether in print or online, carries risks. For example, your ad could run next to content you might not like.
In yesterday’s Non-Sequiturs, Stella Q linked to an article about a man who pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a 92-year-old nursing home patient. This morning, tipster Patrick sent us this message (with attached screencap):
After clicking on your link, I feel bad for the poor SOB who got paid to be in the ad at the bottom of the page:
We concur. For a guy who could do up to ten years in prison, he sure seems rather cheery.
(In case you’re curious, the ad in question is for adult and continuing education programs at LaSalle University. If you click through to the page and don’t see the ad at first, simply “refresh” your browser, and it may reappear — it’s a revolving ad.)
Man admits to fondling woman, 92 [PhillyBurbs.com]
The Most Happy Fella [Wikipedia]
* In Breathless, Michel (played by Jean-Paul Belmondo) remarks that the women of Sweden, despite their reputation, are pretty much like women everywhere: there are indeed many pretty ones, but most are plain or ugly. So you can understand why these two busted Swedish cops kept records of the former. [AP via MSNBC]
* Harold and Maude, the sequel — but even creepier. [PhillyBurbs.com]
* Justice really rained on this guy’s parade. [Greenville Online]
* Girls, what do you think position 13 is? (Yeah, you should watch this until the punchline.) [De Novo]
* I once innocently ordered a Strawberry Tsunami at Jamba Juice just days after the December 2004 tsunami. I’m dumb that way. Anyway, this smoothie has long been taken off the menu, but you should still proceed with caution when ordering anything with strawberries. [Los Angeles Times]
* I can’t help but use the phrase, “Who’s your Daddy?” whenever I can do so in total earnestness. [People]
In case you’re not familiar with it — and we’re guessing you’re not — check out urbancougar.com (probably safe for work, although the IT people might snicker around you). Here is the website’s mission statement:
urbancougar: it’s not a stigma, it’s a sophisticated species of female who seeks the pleasure of younger males. She avoids the entanglements of a “relationship,” in favor of the freedom of the hunt.
She has overcome the taboos related to her sexual identity, embraced her true self, and now lives her life to its fullest. Always one for adventure, she knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to get it!
This website is a celebration of the urbancougar lifestyle, the women who embody it, and the prey who love them for it!
(For those of you who don’t even know what a “cougar” is, click here for remedial slang education.)
The site has a feature called UrbanCougar of the Month. And ATL readers will be happy to learn that the current UC of the Month is a lawyer! Meet “Kelly” of Denver, Colorado:
To read Kelly’s full profile, including a Q-and-A with this cougar-licious counselor, click here.
Does anyone have more information about Kelly — including, perhaps, her place of employment? If so, please drop us a line.
(For men in search of hot female lawyers, Denver appears to be where it’s at. The Mile High City boasts at least one other high-profile hottie of the legal profession.)
urbancougar of the month: Kelly [urbancougar.com]
Cougar [Urban Dictionary]
* For those of you who prefer oral, a new service. For free. [Robert Ambrogi’s Lawsites]
* If you’ve never believed in God, now is the time to believe in Judgment Day. [The Notion]
* The very funny and talented Melissa Lafsky, aka Opinionista, will now be writing for Eat the Press, the HuffPo fiefdom of another lawyer-turned-writer, Rachel Sklar. We wish Melissa well! [Eat the Press / Huffington Post]
(And may we note Melissa’s passing resemblance to hot SVU detective, and genetically blessed daughter of Jayne Mansfield, Mariska Hargitay.)
* A consumer takes on a computer behometh. Today a kiosk, tomorrow the fame and fortune of the “Dude, you’re getting a Dell!” guy. [Newark Star-Ledger]
- Advertising, Crime, Death Penalty, Drinking, Drugs, Eavesdropping / Wiretapping, Free Speech, Gambling / Gaming, Jury Duty, Marijuana, Morning Docket, Old People, Politics, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, War on Terror
Morning Docket: 12.04.06
By Billy Merck* You have a right to a jury trial, whether you want it or not. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution via How Appealing]
* Santa’s big behind is gonna make kids want to drink beer?. [CNN]
* Now my case is at the Supreme Court, and I know why; because I got high, because I got high, because I got high… [WSJ Law Blog]
* It’s sad when otherwise good people get sucked into the seedy underbelly of the Arizona bingo scene. [MSNBC]
* Nice try, Jane, but a little too late to get your job on the Intelligence Committee back. [Jurist]
- 5th Circuit, Edith Jones, Federal Judges, Federalist Society, Judicial Divas, Old People, SCOTUS Potential
Judge Edith Jones: And She Brakes for Small Animals, Too
By David LatFor years we’ve been huge fans of Judith Edith H. Jones. She had a reputation as a tough, smart, conservative judge. She was known as as a badass of the bench, more than capable of eviscerating counsel or colleagues who crossed her. Her dramatic nickname — “horsewoman of the right-wing apocalypse” — pretty much said it all. (See here, hottie #3.)
(The high-powered Judge Jones was also a recurring Supreme Court short-lister — so frequent a SCOTUS mention, in fact, that Slate once dubbed her “Susan Lucci in Judicial Robes.”)
So our obsession with Judge Jones went way back. How could we not adore such a strong-willed, right-wing judicial diva? Sometimes muttering her full name under our breath — the Honorable Edith Hollan Jones — would make us shiver involuntarily.
This past weekend, at the Federalist Society conference, we actually got to meet Judge Jones. It was a thrill! And we even got to take a picture of her — so cool!
(Alas, Judge Jones forbade us from publishing it on the internet — and we don’t want to be found in contempt. So the picture will have to remain in our personal stash of federal judicial portraits. Sorry!)
In addition, we had the chance to observe Judge Jones up close, while she was in the audience of the final panel of the conference — a magnificent shouting match between social conservatives and libertarians that was nominally entitled “The Role of Government in Defining Our Culture.” (We expect to write more about this steel-cage match panel discussion later.)
We are sad to report, however, that some of these observations have changed our view of Judge Jones. We reveal what we saw, after the jump.
Continue reading “Judge Edith Jones: And She Brakes for Small Animals, Too”
If you’re like us, you spent way too much time this weekend fretting over whether Denise Richards might be in legal jeopardy over her recent laptop-hurling incident.
Despite her descent into tabloid fodder, owing to her disastrous marriage to Charlie Sheen, we’re longtime fans of Ms. Richards. Nobody can resist the starlet’s delectably campy turns in “Starship Troopers” and “Wild Things.” (Remember her infamous love scene with Neve Campbell?)
So we’re happy to report that Denise devotees can exhale now:
Denise Richards won’t face charges for throwing two laptop computers over a balcony in a tussle with paparazzi in western Canada, police said.
The actress was accused of hurling two laptops from a balcony at the River Rock Casino and Hotel on Wednesday, hitting two elderly women below.
The incident occurred after two photographers tried to snap pictures of Richards by gaining unauthorized access to the set where she’s filming a movie with actress Pamela Anderson.
Jeez. The two poor women who were injured by the falling laptops were 81 and 90 years old. Haven’t they been through enough?
On the other hand, let’s look on the bright side:
1. Things could have been worse: Richards could have thrown exploding Dell laptops at them.
2. Getting hit by celebrity-thrown laptops is WAY more fun than feeding pigeons.
3. Richards will probably cough up some cash to the old biddies, to forestall legal action and to end the bad publicity. And she’ll pay in U.S. dollars.
4. In addition to Denise’s dough, the two women got oodles of attention. And isn’t that what old people really want?
See, e.g., Justice Stevens (refusing, like Chief Justice Rehnquist before him, to retire from the Supreme Court, despite advancing age and failing health).
Police: Denise Richards won’t face charges for tossing laptops off balcony [Associated Press via Court TV]
Denise Richards’ Paparazzi Rampage Leaves Two Laptops, One Senior Injured [Defamer]
Denise Richards [IMDb]
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