A high school principal in Indiana doesn’t want slutty-seeming students playing sports, reports Courthouse News Service.

Two sophomores attended a summer slumber party with other girls from Churubusco High School. They did what all high school girls do at slumber parties (at least in the imagination of high school boys). From their complaint [PDF]:

During the sleepover the girls took pictures of themselves pretending to kiss or lick a large multi-colored novelty lollipop shaped phallus that they had purchased as well as pictures of themselves in lingerie with dollar bills stuck in their clothes as well as other pictures.

Ed. note: See this comment. Should that read “phallus-shaped lollipop”?

The girls later posted these photos on MySpace. Someone among their MySpace “friends” printed the pics and gave them to the principal. The principal decided the girls had violated the school’s code of conduct and suspended them from all extracurricular activities, including athletics, for the entire school year.

The ACLU thinks the principal is a sucker, and has stepped in to help the girls sue their school.

For long-time readers of Above The Law, Herman Thomas is a familiar name. He’s the former Alabama state court judge who allegedly enjoyed spanking male prisoners, traded favorable treatment for sexual favors, and improperly interfered on behalf of a cousin in legal trouble.

He gave up the paddle gavel two years ago. Now he’s headed to trial.

From the Associated Press:

Chief Assistant District Attorney Nicki Patterson said authorities began looking at Thomas after he changed a jail sentence in 2006 for his cousin, former Mobile County school commissioner David Thomas, even though the case was being handled by another judge. Other cases that Thomas had taken over from other judges without their approval soon surfaced, she said.

And what happened to the prisoners in the cases commandeered by Thomas?

Here’s an interesting question. How do we know that animals involved in bestiality don’t actually like it?

This question was recently on the mind of one New Jersey jurist. From the Philadelphia Daily News:

During a bizarre hearing [in Burlington County, NJ], a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn’t infer whether the cows had been “tormented” or “puzzled” by the situation or even irritated that they’d been duped out of a meal.

“If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, ‘Where’s the milk? I’m not getting any milk,’ ” Judge James J. Morley asked.

Got milk? Or milky discharge?

Children, Morley said, seemed “comforted” when given pacifiers, but there’s no way to know what bovine minds thought of Robert Melia Jr. substituting his member for a cow’s teat.

“They [children] enjoy the act of suckling,” the judge said. “Cows may be of a different disposition.”

In its weirdness, this is all very Ally McBeal-ish (although too explicit for that show).

So, how did the prosecutor feel about all of this?

Here at Above the Law, we’ve reviewed a lot of employment discrimination complaints over the years. But this one is special.

The firm (like it matters):

Maron Marvel Bradley & Anderson.

The plaintiff:

Jennifer Braude.

Why you care:

Do I have your attention? Click after the jump for more details, plus Maron Marvel’s response.

When we first got a tip that a Florida lawyer had been disbarred for making a client pay her fees with sexual favors, we thought, “Ho hum. Another crazy Florida lawyer.” Then we Googled the pro boner attorney, James Harvey Tipler, and found out that the low-life lawyer has a sterling Stanford degree.

According to his Justia profile and his listing on the California Bar Association website, Tipler is a graduate of Yale University and Stanford Law School. We hope this doesn’t make Stanford fall even lower in the U.S. News rankings.

Tipler is not the first Stanford Law graduate to get mixed up in sex work. But making an 18-year-old client pay for legal work on her parental custody case with sexual favors is a new low.

From the Florida Supreme Court order disbarring Tipler:

Tipler charged his client a fee of $2,300 and entered into a fee agreement with her that allowed a “credit of $200 for each time she engaged in sex with Respondent” and a “$400 credit if she arranged for other females to have sex with him.” For his misdeeds, Tipler was charged with racketeering and four counts of prostitution. He ultimately pleaded guilty to one count of solicitation of prostitution.

Fellatio in exchange for filings was not Tipler’s only offense. He’s gotten into trouble in many other ways, and not just in Florida. He’s got a record in California and Alabama, and we suspect he may be trying to set up shop in South Carolina now. More after the jump.

For about a year now, ever since he took a mysterious leave of absence in August 2007, we’ve been following the troubles of Judge Samuel B. Kent (S.D. Tex.). A suspension from the Fifth Circuit, allegations of breastfeeding and BJ requests — it hasn’t been pretty.

Yesterday things got even worse for Judge Kent. From the Houston Chronicle:

U.S. District Judge Samuel Kent was indicted Thursday on charges of abusive sexual contact and attempted aggravated sexual abuse of a female employee, making him the first federal judge to be charged with federal sex crimes and the first in Texas indicted in recent history.

Congratulations, Your Honor? It’s a privilege to be FIRST.

The alleged victim — Judge Kent’s former case manager, Cathy McBroom — issued a statement after the indictment came down:

“After a very difficult 17 months, I feel like I have finally been validated. I have listened and read with horror as Judge Kent’s lawyer suggested that what happened to me was ‘enthusiastically consensual,’ ” wrote McBroom, who remains a federal court employee. “I am relieved to find that even federal judges are not above the law, and that sexual abuse in the workplace is never acceptable, no matter the status of the offender.”

Thanks for the shout-out, Cathy!

A little bit more, below the fold.

[UPDATE on 04.03.09: Case dismissed.]

Paralegal-ing is a rough gig. Paralegals tend to get the legal drudgery similar to that done by first year associates, without the six-figure paycheck. And if you’re a paralegal for Richard Laminack, a titan of the Texas plaintiffs’ bar, you may also be asked to receive unwanted advances, fellate expert witnesses, and help defraud clients.

The American Lawyer reports on paralegal Angela Robinson’s complaint (PDF), filed against Laminack and the two firms at which she worked for him. (We have to wonder why she followed him to the second firm despite the workplace horrors. Cf. Anita Hill.)

Here’s a choice excerpt, available in full after the jump:

That is certainly above and beyond the paralegal call of duty.

The website of Laminack, Pirtle & Martines says that it’s their “honor and priveledge [sic]” to represent clients. And defraud them? According to Robinson’s complaint, Laminack “ordered checks on non-existent medical records for Fen-Phen clients and then docked the cost of the records checks from the clients’ settlement shares.”

(What is it with Fen-Phen lawyers and cheating clients? The WSJ Law Blog had extensive coverage of the Kentucky attorneys accused of bilking their Fen-Phen clients out of millions.)

Robinson put up with the sexual harassment for years; she alleges she was terminated when she confronted Laminack about the Fen-Phen scheme. She wants $55,000 for wrongful termination and back pay. A longer version of the salacious bits of her complaint, after the jump.

If you asked people to name sexually liberated Greek islands, many might pick Lesbos. Over the objections of some Lesbos residents, who have even filed a lawsuit over the matter, the name of their beloved island is inextricably linked with lesbian romance (and girl-on-girl action).

But we think Zakynthos also deserves some love, in light of this bizarre crime story. From Reuters:

Nine British women were facing prostitution charges after being arrested at the weekend for taking part in an oral sex competition in the Greek holiday island of Zakynthos, police said on Monday.

Six British and six Greek men, including two bar owners, were also charged in the incident, which took place at Laganas beach in the south of the Ionian island, which lies off the west coast of mainland Greece, police said.

The women, who came to the popular resort on holiday, had been paid to take part in the competition, which was video recorded and was to be posted on the Internet, police said.

Interesting that the women were charged with prostitution. When we previously wrote about a concubine-seeking Craigslister, one commenter wondered:

I’ve never understood why people don’t offer prostitutes an oral contract (no pun intended) to appear in a porno movie and then throw a camera next the bed during whatever acts go down (pun intended). Technically, the john isn’t paying for sex. Instead it’s art!

Alas, based on the charges in this case, that defense probably wouldn’t fly on Zakynthos. Paying women to have sex with you, then claiming when caught that you’re just filming an X-rated version of Mamma Mia! — by the way, the non-explicit version opens this weekend (yay Meryl!) — is unlikely to get you off, literally or figuratively.

More mildly raunchy discussion — if your sensibilities are delicate, stop reading here — after the jump.

Curvaceous beauty Monica Lewinsky, who will go down in history as the world’s most famous intern, once joked about going to law school. Instead she went to the prestigious London School of Economics, from which she graduated with a master’s degree in social psychology.

Interestingly enough, Lewinsky wrote a law-related thesis: “In Search of the Impartial Juror: An Exploration of the Third Person Effect and Pre-Trial Publicity.” So maybe she’s leaving the door open to law school at a later point in time.

If Lewinsky decides in favor of a legal education, she might want to consider Washington College of Law (WCL), at American University. Based on an amusing instant-messenger chat that has been making the rounds recently — we received it from half a dozen different sources, so it’s in wide circulation — it seems she’d fit right in.

If you have delicate sensibilities, stop reading now. But if not, check out the quasi-racy IM conversation, after the jump.

We previously wrote about pro se litigant Julio Mora, who asked the members of the Florida Supreme Court to “kiss his a**hole every time the justice[s] will retire going to their den.” The requested relief was denied, and Mora was sanctioned.

Everyone thinks of Canadians as darn so “nice” — but defendants up there can get saucy too. From the Halifax Chronicle-Herald:

A psychiatric assessment has been ordered for a homeless man who dropped his pants in a Halifax courtroom Friday and invited the judge to perform oral sex on him.

Motion denied. If only he had appeared before this judge.

Joel David Arseneau, 40, was being arraigned in Halifax provincial court before Judge Barbara Beach on two charges of breaching probation or court orders when he let his pants fall to the floor, displaying his underwear.

Sheriff’s deputies hustled Mr. Arseneau out of the courtroom. As they were taking him downstairs to the holding cells, they received word that Judge Beach was prepared to proceed with the arraignment as long as the defendant was willing to keep his pants up.

Glad to hear they have some standards of courtroom decorum up in Halifax.

Hopefully Mr. Arseneau was wearing boxer shorts. Briefs come perilously close to male Speedos.

Man drops his pants in court [Halifax Chronicle-Herald]

Earlier: Pro Se Litigant of the Day: Julio Mora
If the Court Has Gone Down on You, Is Recusal Required?

For the record, here’s some follow-up on two Bay State lawyers previously discussed in these pages, who have been cleared of the charges against them. At least to some extent.

First, remember Carl Stanley McGee (right), who was arrested after being accused of going down on a 15-year-old boy? Earlier this week, Florida prosecutors decided to drop the case.

Apparently the teen had trouble identifying McGee. But maybe he also learned that it’s bad form to complain about getting a BJ. Unless teeth are involved.

Second, remember the handsome Gary Zerola (below right), named a “Most Eligible Bachelor” by People magazine, and accused of rape and attempted rape by three different women? One of the cases against him went to trial, and he was acquitted (back in January; we missed the news when it came out).

A second trial is currently underway. In that case, as reported in today’s Boston Herald, Zerola’s defense team argues that the victim wanted to shakedown their client for $150,000.

The third incident, which is the one that we wrote about, has not yet gone to trial.

Sex Case Against MA Guv’s Aide Dropped [AP]
‘Most eligible bachelor’ acquitted in attempted rape case [Boston Globe]
Zerola team: Alleged victim sought $150G [Boston Herald]

Earlier: Lawyer of the Day: Carl Stanley McGee
Most Eligible Bachelor Becomes Considerably Less Eligible

The day is still young, but we already have our Lawyer of the Day — and we doubt that anyone we hear about later today can steal this honor away from him. Via the Boston Globe:

A top official in the [Gov. Deval] Patrick administration has been placed on unpaid leave because he was arrested in Florida and charged with sexually assaulting a 15-year-old male in a steam room at a $500-a-night Gulf Coast resort.

Carl Stanley McGee, 38, assistant secretary for policy and planning, is scheduled to be arraigned next week for sexual battery in Lee County, Fla…. According to police reports, McGee was arrested Dec. 28 and accused of performing oral sex on the 15-year-old, who was a guest at The Gasparilla Inn & Club, a 95-year-old hotel and championship golf course in Boca Grande.

As they like to say up in Massachusetts, “Thar he blows.”

McGee, a former Rhodes scholar and Harvard Law School graduate, was previously a corporate lawyer at the law firm WilmerHale. He was instrumental in the movement seeking to defeat efforts to overturn legalization of same-sex marriage, serving as director of the civic and business outreach efforts of the advocacy group MassEquality.

A year after same-sex marriage became legal in Massachusetts in May 2004, McGee’s wedding to John Finley IV was highlighted in the “Vows” section of The New York Times….

Known for his shock of platinum hair, McGee was named one of The Boston Globe’s 25 most stylish Bostonians in November. In the article, he described his style as “traditional, but it’s also subversive and ironic.”

“Traditional,” but “subversive.” Sort of like married men engaging in steam-room hook-ups?

Good thing Carl McGee isn’t running for office. We’re reminded of the famous quotation by former Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards, who once boasted that he couldn’t lose an upcoming election unless he was “caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.”

Update: Just a reminder that these are obviously mere allegations. Sources mentioned in the Globe article said they “were stunned by the news of McGee’s arrest and said they do not believe the charges.” One colleague of McGee told the paper, “I know it didn’t happen.”

Further Update: Best comment thus far, from an observant, Spanish-speaking reader: “He was arrested for blowing a 15 year old in… huhuhuh… Boca Grande…”

Key aide to Patrick accused of sex assault [Boston Globe]
John Finley IV and Stan McGee [New York Times]

This next story is not new; it was reported last year by CBS. But we have an update to bring you, via YouTube, which is why we’re revisiting it.

For those of you who missed it, here’s a quick recap:

[A] woman was referred to a lawyer to represent her in a car accident case. But what she experienced in the meetings with that 72-year-old attorney later led her to file a formal criminal complaint with the NYPD….

The 47-year old woman — who has asked CBS 2 not to reveal her identity — claims that during her initial visit to lawyer Allen Isaac, he asked her for oral sex as part of his fee for taking her personal injury case.

“He said I’m going to want oral sex from you. I’m going to want it twice before the case begins, then I’m going to want it every week after if I get you a very good result,” she said.

Now that’s what we call a “success fee.”

More discussion, plus the recently uploaded YouTube clip, after the jump.

As regular ATL readers will recall, Judge Samuel B. Kent (S.D. Texas) is currently on leave from the bench (although still collecting his $165,200 salary). The Fifth Circuit suspended him after allegations of what it described as sexual harassment.

But Judge Kent’s troubles may not be over yet. From the Galveston County Daily News (via How Appealing):

A woman who has accused U.S. District Judge Samuel Kent of unwanted sexual touching will have her case reheard by a disciplinary panel of the 5th Judicial Circuit, her attorney, Rusty Hardin, said late Monday.

Late that afternoon, Hardin gave the panel summaries of interviews his team did of 20 people who have had contact with Kent. Hardin claims those interviews show that Kent has misbehaved toward women since shortly after he was named to the federal bench in Galveston in the early 1990s.

Hardin said he and his client are asking that the panel refer the matter to the Judicial Council of the United States with a recommendation that Kent be impeached.

Additional discussion, plus a reader poll, after the jump.

In our earlier post about the recusal motion filed by one Robert Seitz — a Florida pro se litigant seeking recusal of Judge Mary Barzee Flores, claiming that he once received a pre-judicial BJ from Her Honor — we noted that his claims were mere allegations.

We expressly disclaimed any independent knowledge of his claims. We were simply passing along allegations made in a publicly filed court document — which, by the way, has circulated widely via email. (It was forwarded to us by maybe half a dozen different tipsters.)

Now we bring you Judge Barzee Flores’s side of the story. From an omnibus order filed in the case, denying Seitz’s motion to recuse:

You can read the full order, after the jump.

Earlier: Legal Ethics Question of the Day: If the Court Has Gone Down on You, Is Recusal Required?

We reiterate what we observed yesterday: “When it comes to generating ATL material, the University of Miami School of Law tops the rankings.”

It appears that the undergraduate school at UM also sees its fair share of shenanigans. Check out this motion to recuse (PDF), which has been making the rounds by email. It involves one UM alumnus seeking the recusal of a former college classmate, now on the state bench.

Pro se plaintiff Robert Seitz asks Judge Mary Barzee Flores (at right), of Florida’s Eleventh Judicial Circuit, to recuse herself from hearing his case. The grounds for recusal are, er, interesting. Here’s what he alleges (alleges — we’ve undertaken no independent investigation of his claims):

You can read the entire motion by clicking here (PDF).

Update: For Judge Barzee Flores’s response to these allegations, in her ruling on the motion to recuse, click here.

Seitz v. Bareille: Motion to Recuse [PDF]

Judge Samuel B. Kent (S.D. Texas) joins Judge Elizabeth Halverson and Chief Judge Edward Nottingham in our Judge of the Day Hall of Fame. He will no longer be eligible for recognition as a Judge of the Day, having transcended this award.

Why is Judge Kent deserving of induction? In the Houston Chronicle, Lise Olsen offers a detailed report of the allegations against Judge Kent (which we previously discussed here and here). The money quote:

[Case manager Cathy] McBroom was summoned to the judge’s chambers on Friday, March 23, at about 3 p.m.

Her hands were full of legal papers when the judge — a former high school athlete who is more than 6 inches taller and at least 100 pounds heavier — asked for a hug.

She told him she didn’t think that was appropriate, but reluctantly approached.

The judge grabbed Mc-Broom, pulled up her blouse and her bra and put his mouth on her breast. Then, Kent forced her head down toward his crotch.

As McBroom struggled, Kent kept telling the married mother of three what he wanted to do to her in words too graphic to publish. The papers fell to the floor. The pet bulldog Kent kept in his chambers began to bark.

The incident was interrupted by the sound of footsteps from another staff member in the corridor, and the judge loosened his grip. As she left, the judge said McBroom was a good case manager and then made suggestions about engaging in a sexual act.

McBroom ran out crying.

Review additional allegations, including a claim by a different ex-employee that Judge Kent once told her he could “service me when my husband was being treated for prostate cancer,” by clicking here.

How far did this federal judge go? [Houston Chronicle]

This just in, from the AP:

The Georgia Supreme Court upheld a ruling that Genarlow Wilson’s 10-year prison sentence for having consensual oral sex with a fellow teenager is cruel and unusual, and ordered him released from prison.

Wilson was convicted of aggravated child molestation for having oral sex with a 15-year-old girl when he was 17. He has served more than two years of a mandatory 10-year sentence.

Attorney General Thurbert Baker appealed a Monroe County Superior Court judge’s decision to reduce Wilson’s felony conviction to a misdemeanor and free him from prison.

Baker said the judge overstepped his authority when he granted Wilson’s motion last month. Wilson’s attorney argued his 10-year prison sentence is cruel and unusual punishment.

Update: From an insightful tipster:

Regarding the Georgia case, it may be worth noting that the U.S. Supreme Court will be hearing argument on a related issue on October 31: whether state Supreme Court decisions must use the U.S. Supreme Court’s standard in applying criminal law decisions retroactively or instead may expand retroactive application of those decisions to a broader class of criminal defendants.

Georgia Supreme Court Rules Prison Term for Sex Crime Cruel and Unusal [AP via Fox News]

Earlier: We Sure Hope It Was Worth Two Years in Prison

When we recently wrote about the case of Cordero v. Epstein, in which model Maximilia Cordero alleges that high-profile financier Jeffrey Epstein took advantage of her when she was underage, one of you wondered: “[H]ow many of [Cordero lawyer William] Unroch’s models do you think are really trannies?”

One possible answer: at least one. Namely, Maximilia Cordero herself — who allegedly was “born Maximillian Cordero in 1983.”

Read the original Dealbreaker post, which has a wealth of other details, over here.

For What It’s Worth, Jeffrey Epstein Has Been Known To Spend A Lot Of Time In Scotland [DealBreaker]

Earlier: Lawsuit of the Day: Cordero v. Epstein

Our colleagues over at DealBreaker have been extensively covering one heck of a lawsuit. It’s our Lawsuit of the Day, but it really ought to be our Lawsuit of the Week — it’s that good.

The defendant is wealthy New York financier Jeffrey Epstein, who already stands accused, in Florida state court, of sex crimes involving underage girls. This latest case is a civil action filed in New York. Here’s a teaser:

[W]e’re knee-deep into the latest sex suit against Jeffrey Epstein, brought by a girl who, at the time, was whatever the opposite of over eighteen is. This one’s from Maximilia Cordero [at right], an aspiring model, who claims that in 2000, Epstein lured her to his Upper East Side apartment on the promise that “he and his wealthy friends would help…with her modeling career.”….

Epstein, in order to quell the girl’s fears as to what people would think of her blowing a man old enough to be her father, swore that he “wouldn’t tell anyone.” Bet he’s wishing he’d gotten her to do the same! Ah, well, hindsight.

Then he came in her mouth and requested that she return with her “14, 15, and 16 year old girlfriends next time.”

More — ‘cause you know you want it — after the jump.