As if you needed it, here’s proof that billing 3000 hours a year is NOT the ultimate aphrodisiac:

And if you’re hoping to spice things up by stuffing a sex toy in your S.O.’s stocking, please confirm that your gift is not illegal under state or local law.
Sex toys still banned in Alabama, guns okay [Boing Boing]
Earlier: ATL Reader Poll: Are You Happy With Your Sex Life?
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This case summary, from CourtBriefs, was emailed to us with the following subject line: “Why I saw this and thought of ATL, I have no idea.”
Regardless of your views on abortion — and we’ll just say, for the record, that we are not unsympathetic to the pro-life cause — this lawsuit should strike you as a bit dubious:

This is like suing a bear for failure to warn that he might attack. A bear is as a bear does; and so is Planned Parenthood.*
Here’s our favorite part of the Doe v. Planned Parenthood summary:
As a result of the counseling, assertions and representations of the Planned Parenthood personnel and various Defendants, [Doe] underwent an abortion that day. Her unborn infant, Michael Doe, died as a result of the abortion procedure.
That tends to happen when you get AN ABORTION, dear.
(In all seriousness, even pro-lifers — or pro-choicers who, like Bill Clinton, believe abortion should be “safe, legal and rare” — should not support a lawsuit like this. Awarding money damages to women for undergoing abortions seems like unwise public policy.)
Doe v. Planned Parenthood [Court Briefs (subscription)]
* We’re setting aside all the other problems, including jurisdictional ones, with suing a bear.
The five-year-old had a better excuse.
(In all seriousness, we have nothing against solo practitioners. And one could argue that, if anything, Biglaw attorneys are more likely to engage in sexual harassment than solo practitioners.)
School accuses 5-year-old of sex harassment [Herald-Mail]
Attorney Censured for Pinching Secretary [New York Law Journal via ATL]
- 2nd Circuit, Blogging, Book Deals, Books, Carter Phillips, Contests, Education / Schools, Eugene Volokh, FCC, Howard Bashman, Intellectual Property, Money, Morning Docket, Music, O.J. Simpson
Morning Docket: 12.21.06
By Billy Merck* The Volokh Conspiracy wins Best Law Blog. Congrats to the VC crew! [The Weblog Awards 2006 via 2nd Place Winner How Appealing]
* F&@% you, FCC!. [CNN.com]
* And in my-home-state-is-not-completely-backward news… [Jurist]
* If he sold it, Ron Goldman wants the money. [AP via FindLaw]
* Internet illiterate NY Mom, who doesn’t know “a kazaa from a kazoo,” is dropped from recording industry’s suit against her children. [AP via lexisONE]
- Bill Clinton, Brett Kavanaugh, Hotties, Jury Duty, Kenneth Starr, Monica Lewinsky, Oral Sex / Blow Jobs, Politics, Sex, Sex Scandals
Congratulations to Ms. Monica Lewinsky!
By David Lat
America’s SweeTart just graduated from the London School of Economics with an M.S. in Social Psychology. Interestingly enough, her LSE master’s thesis was law-oriented: an examination of the effect of pretrial publicity on jury selection.
(Monica: Please don’t treat that rolled-up diploma like a cigar. Thank you.)
Lewinsky graduates from London School of Economics [Reuters via Drudge Report]
In Search of the Impartial Juror: The third person effect and pretrial publicity [London School of Economics (Psychology Dept.)]
Nature of President Clinton’s Relationship with Monica Lewinsky [Starr Report]
Now Here’s an Oral Sex Scandal for You [Volokh Conspiracy]
In case you missed it, yesterday we profiled the four current clerks to Justice Samuel Alito. Click here to read that post.
Moving up the seniority chain brings us to Justice Stephen G. Breyer. According to Wikipedia, these are Justice Breyer’s four law clerks for October Term 2006 (please notify us of any errors you see):
1. Jaren Casazza (Columbia ’04 / Jacobs / Wood(S.D.N.Y.))
2. Tacy Flint (Chicago ’04 / Posner)
3. Stephen Shackleford (Harvard ’05 / Boudin)
4. Thiru Vignarajah (Harvard ’05 / Calabresi)
To profile the SGB crew, we need a little help from you. Please send us interesting tidbits, fun facts, or amusing anecdotes about these members of the Elect, by email. We also welcome any photographs you might have. Please be sure to include the clerk’s full name somewhere in your message (because we often locate messages relevant to drafting a specific post by running searches in our inbox).
We note that Amber Taylor has already profiled this foursome. We therefore implore you to send us information that is especially salacious and scandalous quirky, so we don’t simply repeat what’s in her write-ups. Thanks!
List of law clerks of the Supreme Court of the United States [Wikipedia]
The Breyer Clerks [Prettier Than Napoleon]
A Law Clerk Hiring Update: Alito’s Experienced Hands, Breyer’s Hires, and More [Underneath Their Robes]
Earlier: Justice Alito’s OT 2006 Law Clerks
* I have been remiss in not updating you on the legal woes of the blogger everyone loves to hate. And if you still think
* Professor Volokh expresses his indignation at an entire generation of selfish bastards. Holla. Also cf: this for proof that academics may have too much time on their hands. [Volokh Conspiracy]
* The high school’s zero-tolerance policy for weapons may ironically save this senior (at right) from getting his ass kicked. And keep alive a glimmer of hope that he will not die a virgin. [New York Times]
* I think people who take LSAT prep classes or 1L Boot Camp before law school are lame. So you can guess what I think about law students who buy other students’ outlines, and for that matter, the students who sell their outlines (who might not be so cash-strapped had they not taken the LSAT prep classes or 1L Boot Camp in the first place). [The Conglomerate]
* I think this is funny, and rest assured, the baby is okay. But I still feel like someone is going to be sued, especially if the baby ends up growing a different set of genitals. [AP via Forbes]
We have been begging you for dirty laundry to air about the U.S. Attorney’s Office in San Francisco (Northern District of California). From what we hear, the high-profile office is in a state of turmoil. First Assistant U.S. Attorney Eumi Choi has been trying to quell a line-assistant rebellion that has been described as “the best-coordinated insurgency outside of Iraq.”
We don’t care whether you’re part of the pro-Eumi Choi or anti-Eumi Choi faction. We’re not taking sides here. We just want the inside scoop on the internal warfare, plotting and backstabbing going on over there right now. It’s for entertainment purposes only (because few things are more entertaining than workplace drama).
Thus far, you’ve been holding out on us. That’s okay; we have other sources. Like judges’ chambers:
I worked for a judge in the Northern District of California, where [U.S. Attorney] Kevin Ryan’s main office is. Although I haven’t had any personal contact with the USA [himself], I remember the AUSAs and their law externs who would appear before my judge were particularly unruly, talkative and disrespectful in the court.
A number of times, my judge would be trying to talk in court over the hum of their own personal discussions. When it got out of hand, he would stop, glare at them over his glasses, and it would be about a minute before they realized that the judge wanted them to shut up.
Other times, the judge would have to say, “Counsel!” Then the oblivious AUSAs would look up like contrite 5th graders. They also argued a lot amongst themselves in the hallways and, indeed, acted very much like children.
So it’s not just “line AUSAs vs. the front office”; the line assistants can’t even get along with each other. Not good.
We remain interested in goings-on over at the U.S. Attorney’s Office in the N.D. Cal. Please email us with any information you might have. Thanks.
Earlier: How Yummy Is Eumi?
What Part of “Fabulous” Do You Not Understand?
- Boutique Law Firms, Columbia Law School, Department of Justice, Harvard Law School, Real Estate, Weddings
Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: December 10, 2006
By David Lat
We were starved for Wedding Watch material in the weekend of December 9-10. We couldn’t even find the standard three couples in which at least one spouse is a lawyer.
So we did the next best thing — we found two couples in which a parent of a spouse is a lawyer (and a third couple of two lawyers). Here are this week’s contestants:
1. Cornelia Henning, Nicholas Van Amburg
Scores and commentary for this trio of lovebirds, after the jump.
Continue reading “Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: December 10, 2006″
Not all ATL readers live in big coastal cities. Check out this comment, by “Leona” (which we kinda loved):
I really enjoy reading Althouse, she is conversative [sic] definitely but I would like her to be more christian friendly.
She supports gay marriage which I find disgusting.
But she loves our president which is great.
Hands down, K Lo is the best though. She is the real christian that speaks the words that are in my heart. K Lo is also so smart and witty. I love some of her comments in the corner [NRO blog]. She always hits some zingers at the secular, progressives that hate America. She also has so much courage to live in NYC, which is full of all of the gays, and still be able to be strong and continue to speak her mind. I love that about her. Go K Lo.
We don’t know where “Leona” lives (except NOT New York); but we suspect she’s from the heartland. Maybe she’s a constituent of Senator Brownback?
(Or might she be this lady?)
Earlier: Vote Ann Althouse for Grande Conservative Blogress Diva
If you enjoyed the Best Notice of Appeal Ever, as well as the complaint in Ward v. Arm & Hammer, you’ll enjoy our latest pro se filing, too.
It’s an interesting challenge to jurisdiction, filed by a fellow who legally changed his name to Elmo Fred; Griffiths. (Yes, the semicolon is legally part of his name.) The case is a guardianship proceeding for Griffiths’s mother, Ruth Griffiths, brought by one of Elmo’s siblings.
Here’s the first page:

And there’s more. The rest of the document appears after the jump.
Cahill Gordon & Reindel gets with the program, per Infirmation / Greedy NY.
Was there a memo? If so, can someone please email it to us?
We’d like to add it to our growing collection of banal, boilerplate bonus memos. Thanks.
CGR just matched [Infirmation / Greedy NY]
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of bonuses (scroll down)



