It doesn’t always feel like it, but the legal profession is actually very recession proof. Deal work may be drying up, but the Good Book says “Whenever Hank Paulson closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.”
Of course, open windows are pretty dangerous if you work in a Manhattan skyscraper these days, but the National Law Journal peers through the looking glass anyway:
“A year ago we were writing deals, figuring out how to grow businesses and expand products; now the markets are trying to figure out when the next shoe drops,” said Michael Missal, head of the global financial markets group that K&L Gates unveiled on Monday in Washington.
Despite its neutral name, K&L cited the “global economic crisis” as the reason for launching the group.
It’s amazing what clients will pay for. Can you imagine being a Global Economic Crisis attorney and pitching your services to a client?
CLIENT: We’re broke. We can’t get any credit. I’m going to effing kill Nancy Pelosi and her Mr. Slave.
GEC Partner: Well our firm can offer you the latest counsel on how to navigate through these trying times.
CLIENT: Really? So, how do I get a line of credit right now?
GEC PARTNER: I don’t know.
CLIENT: Well, how can I get around this communist era short-selling ban so I can at least make some money on the side?
GEC PARTNER: I have no idea
CLIENT: Well, what can you tell me?
GEC PARTNER: Here we have this wonderful, interactive map. It clearly indicates where you are AND where Nancy Pelosi is at all times. We’ve marked out various firearms shops along the way.
CLIENT: Isn’t this from Grand Theft Auto IV?
GEC PARTNER: That’ll be $700 please.
Bracewell & Giuliani at least calls a spade a spade after the jump.