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Barry Bonds home run record baseball indicted Above the Law blog.jpgAs we’ve stated before, we are very ignorant about sports. We don’t know anyone more ignorant than we are. Whenever a professional athlete’s name is mentioned, our typical response is, “He plays what again?”
Fortunately, there are people around who do know about sports. Like Matt Brown, who has an excellent and edifying post about the Barry Bonds indictment over at Bugs & Cranks:

So, what’s up with these charges?

Barry Bonds is being indicted in federal court for lying to a grand jury. He has been formally charged with 4 counts of perjury, and one count of obstruction of justice.

Is that bad?

Depends on your point of view. Does Barry play for your favorite team?

He’s not on a team.

Then it’s unequivocally good. F*** Barry Bonds.

That’s just an excerpt; read the full thing here. And here’s a copy of the indictment (PDF), courtesy of the WSJ Law Blog.
Please feel free to discuss the Barry Bonds indictment in the comments. But we probably won’t read any of them, since we know jacks**t about football.
Barry Bonds indicted by grand jury [AP via Reno Gazette-Journal]
Bonds Charged With Perjury in Steroids Case [New York Times]
United v. Bonds: Indictment (PDF) [WSJ Law Blog]

* Seventh Circuit to lawyer: What is this, amateur hour? [TaxProf Blog]
* Some more full length attorney bio pics. [Groom Law Group]
* Speaking of the whole Mac-PC thing… [Choate Hall & Stewart LLP]
* Former Congressman blows by the cops while getting blown, then refuses to blow. [Times Union]
* Ah jeez, the nuns too? [New York Times]

Are you a law student in the D.C. area looking for a part-time job to help you pay for books and the “cheapest sh*t the liquor stores sell?”
Well, Skadden has a great opportunity for you. That is, so long as you don’t want to sleep. Our tipster passed along this listing from the GW Jobs Board:

Major international law firm is seeking a law student to join its overnight Legal Assistant staff. The ability to perform legal research, cite check, Blue Book, shepardize, proofread and use Lexis/Westlaw is required, in addition to providing general support to attorneys in various practice areas, as assigned. Individual must be flexible and able to work independently, follow instructions well, and have an eye for detail. A skills test will be administered. Competitive salary and excellent benefits package commensurate with experience. EOE.
The scheduled hours are: Monday night through Friday morning
Midnight – 5:00 a.m.
(20 hours per week)

We especially recommend this position for a 1L, because you might as well go balls-to-the-wall on sleep deprivation. It’s all about the experience, man. That’s what you’ll tell the grandkids about one day.

Wow. Sorry for the delay in new posts, but you guys have been going wild in the comments, and have thereby crushed our servers. We suck. Anyway, here’s some more on MacGate:
University of Kentucky law students received a memo earlier this week explaining the school’s decision to use Exam Soft (and thus impact Mac users in the same negative fashion as American University). The long and the short of it is that Exam Soft is better than the other two choices, and that putting Mac users out is a necessary evil. The other choices rejected by Kentucky were Secure Exam (the company responsible for the New York Bar Exam Laptopgate clusterf**k) and Extegrity. Extegrity works with Macs, but Kentucky memo’s description of the company makes it sound pretty fly-by-night:

The company
itself is very small, however, and has a small number of users. When
we asked the owner about addressing problems that might arise during
the administration of exams, he suggested that he would give us his
cell phone number and we could just call him on the west coast.

So what have we learned? First, if you’re going to law school, it’s probably going to be easier on you if you have a PC laptop instead of a Mac one (also, you might consider remembering how to use pen and paper; we did it for all of our law school exams and the bar exam). Second, some real company needs to write a program for taking exams on laptops that is compatible with Macs.
The full memo after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “MacGate Update: An Explanation from the University of Kentucky”


“Hello, I’m a Mac.”
“And I’m a PC. I may not be great at making newfangled new media graphics, but at least I won’t cost you extra when you’re taking law school exams at American University.”

Apparently American University is not the best place to go law school if you plan on using a Mac laptop. From a tipster:

My sister is a 2L and was told before she went to the school that a Macintosh would be compatible for test-taking. Turns out this is not the case and the students with Macs must either pay $200-300 to download the software to take exams or rent a non-Mac to take the exam. In essense, students with Macs must pay to take their exams.
This is an appalling situation as I am told that at least 1/3 of the students there have Macs. Also, when I called the Student Tech Support Analyst at the school and told them that I was a potential incoming student and was looking to buy a PC, they initially told me that as long as the Mac has XP, that exam taking would be fine.

Is this a huge injustice to Mac users, or should the Mac users just man up and pay, or take the exams on paper?
We’ve got a portion of an email exchange between an angry Mac student and a dean of the school after the jump to help you decide.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “American University MacGate”

Evans.jpgWhile we anxiously await word of new associate bonus announcements, it is in the meantime a quite slow news day. For those of you tired of talking about the New York Bar Exam Results, here is a brief diversion in the form of full-length attorney bio photos from the firm Fox Rothschild. Our tipster quips:

It’s back-to-school-photo time for law firms. What’s up with this Fox Rothschild’s cruel and unusual full-body photos?

We had a look at a few of the sampling of photos provided by the tipster and we totally get what he’s saying (Samantha Evans, pictured at right, is an exception). Interesting experiment, but stick with the head shots next time guys, alright? You don’t want opposing attorneys sizing you up that much.

Any other firms doing wacky things with attorney photos? Maybe some more artsy-fartsy stuff, a la Gibson Dunn’s Peekaboo? Send us anything strange that you come across.

Links to a few more examples of the full length photos are after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fox Rothschild to Full Length Photos!”

laptop pink girl woman Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg
Lat is here (and apparently partying like a rock star), so you’ll have to put with me for the rest of the day.
The first order of the day is to announce that the New York Bar Exam results are up on the BOLE website.
We had anxious tipsters this morning who were quite worried (and can you blame them, really?) that there was another screw-up with the exam. The link was already there to go to the results page, but clicking on it produced a large, red-lettered “ERROR” message. It appears from later tips that we received, though, that the results were available promptly at 9:00 a.m. just as it was previously announced they would be.
Ok, so they managed to get the results up, but what’s up with Laptopgate? Anybody got any updates?
Earlier: Update: What’s Going on with the New York Bar Exam Results?
Update: In our haste to get the post up, we missed an update on Laptopgate in the BOLE press release. The relevant paragraph is after the jump. The quick and dirty version: about a third of the 47 exam takers who had essay answers that were not retrieved passed even assuming a 0 score on those essays; about another third failed even assuming a perfect score on the essays; and for the final third, they guessed based on performance on the rest of the exam.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “New York Bar Exam Results Available”

associate bonus watch 2007 law firm Above the Law blog.jpgThe latest Biglaw bonus announcement to cross our desk is that of Proskauer Rose. The firm is paying year-end and special bonuses, according to the familiar scale, consistent with the firm’s “established merit and hours guidelines.” The non-New Yorkers among you will be pleased to see that the Proskauer bonuses are the same across the New York, Boston, and Los Angeles offices.
Also, congratulations to Proskauer’s eleven new partners (and four senior counsel), whose promotions were recently announced. A special shout-out to Jon Oram, our law school classmate, and a leading young sports lawyer. Jon’s clients include the NBA, the NHL, Major League Soccer, the Philadelphia Eagles, and the New Jersey Devils. Congrats, Jon!
P.S. For the record, Jon was not our source for the Proskauer bonus memo — which we’ve posted for your reading pleasure, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Proskauer Shares the Wealth With Boston and L.A.”

* Gitmo manual available online. [Miami Herald via How Appealing]
* O.J. to face trial. [BBC]
* Murder and torture? Price of doing business in Colombia. [ CNN]
* House passes bill to protect corporate attorney-client privilege. [Jurist]
* BU = Law School of Rock. [NPR via WSJ Law Blog]

associate bonus watch 2007 law firm Above the Law blog.jpgGuess it’s “Magic Circle” night here at Associate Bonus Watch. Fresh on the heels of Freshfields, we’ve confirmed the Allen & Overy bonus announcement.
Check out the memo, announcing year-end and special bonuses at market rates, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Allen & Overy Matches”

associate bonus watch 2007 law firm Above the Law blog.jpgFrom the London Times:

Lawyer aims for KO

A City solicitor who swapped the boardroom for the boxing ring is to make her professional debut. Laura Saperstein, 36, from Tottenham, North London, was a mergers and acquisitions lawyer with Freshfields, earning £75,000 a year. Three years ago she left to train full-time and won the British lightweight amateur title. Her bout, against a Swedish opponent at Tooting Leisure Centre, will be on November 18.

We’re guessing that Ms. Saperstein is enjoying her new career, in which she’s already encountered significant success. But perhaps she misses her old job, or at least the paycheck of her old job, this time of year.
Her former employer, the Magic Circle firm of Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer, just announced bonuses for its New York and D.C. “fee earners.” The memo appears after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Freshfields Matches”

* From the unintended consequences file: “[R]ecent ousters on Wall Street are likely to result in even higher pay for management. The risks of running a bank or a brokerage are greater now than they have been at any time in the past—risks of prosecution, lawsuits, and ouster—and the top managers will demand to be compensated for those risks.” [DealBreaker]
* Seventy-nine-year-old nun pleads no contest to sex abuse charges. Blogonaut observes: “my high school buddy claimed to have been traumatized for life by once seeing a nun naked.” [New York Times; Blogonaut]
* Law firm office as prison: not just a metaphor. [AP via]
* Unless the food has made quantum leaps in the past few years, we don’t understand why undergrads are clamoring for access to the YLS cafeteria. We ate hummus wraps for lunch for three years. [Yale Daily News]
* Details about our CLS appearance next week. [Columbia Law School Federalist Society]

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