We have not forgotten that we owe you a report on the very interesting debate we attended last night, between Justice Antonin Scalia and Justice Stephen G. Breyer, on constitutional interpretation.
Our report, and a handful of photos (not as many as we hoped), will appear… shortly. Alas, it will take us a little time to upload the pictures and review our (copious) notes.
In the meantime, if you really can’t wait for our account, click here, for the AP wire story. It’s a fairly good summary, although not as detailed as our forthcoming report (in which we’ll tell you about how Justice Breyer’s cell phone went off in the middle of the event).
And if you have ninety minutes to spare, and want to experience the proceedings firsthand, then click here, for video of the event. Enjoy!
US Supreme Court justices debate their views of Constitution [Associated Press]
Justices Breyer and Scalia Converse on the Constitution [American Constitution Society]
Earlier: Programming Note: Nino-Breyer Smackdown
Latest Stories
The NYU Law School hotties contest that we wrote about earlier has concluded. And the winners have been announced.
The results were leaked to us by a tipster who had this to say:
Here you go. Personally I question the results, seeing that I’m not on there.
Probably hanging chad and all that.
We reprint the results email, along with the names of the winners, after the jump.
Social conservatives are constantly carping about the threat that gay marriage allegedly poses to the institution of marriage. In response, proponents of gay marriage reflexively bring up the (rather tired) example of Britney Spears, and her joke of a marriage to Jason Alexander.* The debate gets pretty old, pretty fast.
Here’s what we want to know:
What about those Columbia graduate students? Why isn’t anyone talking about the threat that THEY pose to marriage?
* Jason Allen Alexander, Britney’s pretty cute childhood friend — not that other Jason Alexander. And now that K-Fed is history, might Jason and Britney get back together?
Columbia Grad Student Marries Friend to Get Bigger Financial Aid Package [TaxProf Blog]
Feigned Marriage Helps to Prove Financial Independence [Columbia Spectator]
How a Marriage of Convenience Saved $11,000 in Student Aid [News Blog/Chronicle of Higher Education]
Waiting for an announcement of law firm associate bonuses? Take a number. Right now we’re exactly where we were yesterday: No news.
And no news isn’t necessarily good news. In our morning review of the message boards, this was the most interesting post:
The reason why no firm has announced yet is due to the fact that total comp will remain unchanged from last year to this. I work for a headhunter who talks with partners from different firms around the city. She tells me that almost every partner she talks to wants to see total comp unchanged year-over-year. She believes that no firm wants to lead with a decreased bonus from last year, and that is why no one has come out yet.
So don’t expect much in the way of a bonus this year and don’t go crazy buying stuff because your bonus may be much less than what you were expecting.
Now, this isn’t our personal prediction (and several subsequent posters took issue with this analysis). We’re guessing that there will be SOME increase in total compensation, even if it’s relatively modest.
But it’s certainly possible that the first mover will TRY to keep total compensation unchanged. After the first-mover firm gets leapfrogged, even if modestly, by a competitor, they will then match that competitor. And voila — the new market rate will be set.
Even if we don’t share this poster’s pessimism, though, we did want to draw your attention to this possibility. Think of it as an ATL public service announcement. Don’t count your chickens — or buy that new flat-screen plasma tv — before the bonus eggs are hatched.
P.S. As always, we implore you to notify us promptly, by email, as soon as you hear any actual bonus news. Please don’t assume that we already know about the news, that someone else will tell us, etc. We’d rather get dozens of repetitive emails than miss out on a big announcement.
Total comp to remain unchanged [Infirmation / Greedy NY Board]
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of bonuses (scroll down)
We think online advertising is fantastic. Of course, we’re biased; it’s how we pay the bills around here. For more details about how to advertise on Above the Law — which has a large, demographically desirable, and highly targeted readership — click here.
But all advertising, whether in print or online, carries risks. For example, your ad could run next to content you might not like.
In yesterday’s Non-Sequiturs, Stella Q linked to an article about a man who pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a 92-year-old nursing home patient. This morning, tipster Patrick sent us this message (with attached screencap):
After clicking on your link, I feel bad for the poor SOB who got paid to be in the ad at the bottom of the page:
We concur. For a guy who could do up to ten years in prison, he sure seems rather cheery.
(In case you’re curious, the ad in question is for adult and continuing education programs at LaSalle University. If you click through to the page and don’t see the ad at first, simply “refresh” your browser, and it may reappear — it’s a revolving ad.)
Man admits to fondling woman, 92 [PhillyBurbs.com]
The Most Happy Fella [Wikipedia]
- Crime, Death Penalty, Fast Food, Food, Gay, Gay Marriage, Lunacy, Morning Docket, War on Terror, Weirdness
Morning Docket: 12.06.06
By Billy Merck* How crazy are bedbugs, exactly? [CNN]
* Which of your personalities is the arsonist?. [CNN]
* Yo quiero to sue Taco Bell. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Chinese Gitmo detainees say the same evidence being used to detain them was used to clear five others. [Jurist]
* Maryland Court of Appeals considers same-sex marriage. [Jurist]
The latest news in the world of Borat-related litigation:
A judge on Monday told lawyers who filed a $30 million lawsuit accusing the makers of the hit movie “Borat” of misleading residents of a remote Romanian village that they must make specific allegations in their lawsuit if they want it to have a chance at success.
The lawyers said they would refile the lawsuit, which alleged the residents were duped into participating into what they thought was a documentary that would benefit them rather than the comedy hit “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.”
U.S. District Judge Loretta A. Preska reminded the lawyers that the lawsuit would have to have specific enough facts alleging the villagers were misled before she could order defendants to turn over documents that might help the villagers build their case.
Judge Preska, by the way, is a super-stylish judicial hottie. Perhaps the defendants will refuse to settle the case, insisting on going to trial, just so Borat can have a little “sexytime” in her courtroom.
Update: We completely agree with this comment, by TJ. Every “hip” Civil Procedure professor in the country is going to use a “Borat” hypothetical for his or her final exam.
NYC Judge Questions Villagers’ ‘Borat’ Lawsuit [Associated Press]
Judicial SIGHT-ations: Federal Judges Busting Out All Over! [Underneath Their Robes]
* In Breathless, Michel (played by Jean-Paul Belmondo) remarks that the women of Sweden, despite their reputation, are pretty much like women everywhere: there are indeed many pretty ones, but most are plain or ugly. So you can understand why these two busted Swedish cops kept records of the former. [AP via MSNBC]
* Harold and Maude, the sequel — but even creepier. [PhillyBurbs.com]
* Justice really rained on this guy’s parade. [Greenville Online]
* Girls, what do you think position 13 is? (Yeah, you should watch this until the punchline.) [De Novo]
* I once innocently ordered a Strawberry Tsunami at Jamba Juice just days after the December 2004 tsunami. I’m dumb that way. Anyway, this smoothie has long been taken off the menu, but you should still proceed with caution when ordering anything with strawberries. [Los Angeles Times]
* I can’t help but use the phrase, “Who’s your Daddy?” whenever I can do so in total earnestness. [People]
Dewey Ballantine partners, have you no sense of decency? If your associates are going to act in completely undignified fashion, can’t you at least give them dignified surroundings in which to do so?
No amount of tinsel and mistletoe can disguise this basic truth: making out with a paralegal in the cafeteria is beyond humiliating.
Lawyers Lament Lousy Christmas-Party Plans [New York Magazine]
We’ll be stepping away shortly to attend what should be a fantastic event: A Conversation on the Constitution: Perspectives from Active Liberty and A Matter of Interpretation. It’s being sponsored by the American Constitution Society and the Federalist Society, and we’re attending as a guest of the ACS (whom we thank for the gracious invitation).
Two Supreme Court heavyweights will be stepping into the ring. In the liberal corner: Justice Stephen G. Breyer, author of Active Liberty. In the conservative corner: Justice Antonin Scalia, author of A Matter of Interpretation. The referee: Jan Crawford Greenburg, of ABC News (who recently interviewed Chief Justice Roberts).
So if our posting is sporadic over the next few hours, it’s because we’re watching Justice Scalia and Justice Breyer trade benchslaps. Check back soon, either later today or tomorrow, for our full report on the jurisprudential battle to the death proceedings. Hasta luego!
It’s December, and you know what that means. In addition to law firm associate bonuses — which we’re still waiting for, with bated breath — we get to go to… Christmas HOLIDAY PARTIES!!!
As noted by Alan Kopit, hosting a holiday party is fraught with legal peril. If you’re planning to host such a party, protect yourself against civil liability: include this handy warning, courtesy of Dahlia Lithwick, with all your invitations.
Despite every precaution, people WILL make drunken fools of themselves at holiday parties this year. Bankruptcy lawyers will karaoke to Livin’ on a Prayer; senior associates will puke all over their $1,800 suits; and abundant paralegal ass, male and female, will be grabbed. Wildly inappropriate behavior and egregious forms of misconduct will occur.
Earlier this year, we requested embarrassing summer associate tales, and you obliged. Then we asked for interview horror stories, and you delivered — big-time. So given the time of year, you can guess what we want now: mortifying stories from holiday parties.
Yes, that’s right. If (or rather when) someone does something scandalous or embarrassing at your office holiday party, we want to hear about it. Stories from this year are preferred; but if you have a juicy story from a past year that hasn’t made the rounds yet, we’ll gladly consider it.
Please send such stories to us by email (subject line: “Holiday Party Stories”). We look forward to reading them!
P.S. While we’re asking you for stuff, would someone please send us the results of the NYU Law School hotties contest? Thanks.
Mistletoe or Legal Woes? [Lawyers.com]
Fa-la-la-la-lawsuit [Slate]
- 2nd Circuit, Erwin Chemerinsky, Gender, Goldman Sachs, Hotties, Money, Simpson Thacher, Wall Street, WSJ Law Blog
Shouldn’t That Be “Mistress” of the Universe?
By David LatOur big sibling reports on the departure of high-finance hottie Suzanne Nora Johnson from Goldman Sachs, the obscenely profitable investment bank. Johnson, who served on the firm’s 23-member management committee, was the highest-ranking woman at Goldman Sachs.*
And as the WSJ Law Blog notes, in a post entitled Associates, You Too Can Become a Master of the Universe, Johnson is a former lawyer:
Before joining Goldman in 1985, Johnson (USC, Harvard Law) was an associate at Simpson, Thacher & Bartlett and clerked on the Second Circuit.
Anyone know which judge Johnson clerked for? If that jurist is still living, Johnson — who earned a cool $17.2 million last year (eat your hearts out, Biglaw partners) — should foot the bill for the judge’s official portrait.
(While we’re correcting the titles of Law Blog posts, “spritely” should be replaced by “sprightly” back in this post. As far as we know, the elfin Erwin Chemerinsky did not participate in the KSR v. Teleflex argument.)
* Goldman Sachs has no relationship or connection whatsoever with Goldmansex.com — other than to golden shower rain on that poor website’s parade.
Top Goldman Gal Dumps Bank [DealBreaker]
Associates, You Too Can Become a Master of the Universe [WSJ Law Blog]
Earlier: Because $7 Million a Year Isn’t Enough for Them
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